Morphine
by misericordia98
Summary: It's a world of walking ghosts and living shadows, a world where colors are forbidden. Who knew a blossom would find the way to flourish with the touch of darkness? Modern/Wartime AU.
1. Colors

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in it.**

* * *

 **I.**

 **\- Colors -**

The bags under her eyes seemed to become a deeper violet with every day. Every night, to be precise. If she kept staying up all night, her hairs were going to fall and then what? Her teeth? Her skin?

She puffed.

Being ridiculously paranoid was a daily routine of hers.

Her hand wiped the dim mirror, clearing the view. She just turned twenty-three and her skin was perfect, her teeth too. Only her hair wasn't. As well as her eyes. One of the many genetic mutations the war brought. A victim to one of the many bioweapons that struck The Land of Fire, she knew she was supposed to feel lucky that it didn't hit her with something worse, a form of cancer, cell degradation, neurosis, paralysis or things of that category.

It all started four years ago with an unexpected attack on a square full of people and she happened to be there at the time, with her father. Konoha kept the peace for long, although everywhere in the country rebellions brought destruction and flames. A lot changed throughout these four years, Konoha transformed into a fortress, the police forces were everywhere, there was a new early curfew, a strict regime that allowed not more than a simple walk to the shop and back. The city became quieter, children were no longer heard playing on the streets.

The war continued to this day. A silent war, it was. A game of hide and seek. The Land of Fire, as well as its border countries, continuously took damage, was it another bomb, intentionally crashed vehicles, fires, assassinations both on civilians and state officials. The trained forces maintained the peace as much as they could, staying vigilant at all times but there was always someone who slipped their eye and caused the next tragedy. These were usually groups with radical views and intentions of taking over the political power.

The weapon that struck the crowded square that day was unlike anything she had ever seen. Vastly decreasing the strength of the immune system, it brought down a bit more than a dozen people, mostly children that couldn't fight it. Fortunately, she fought it through. However, the weapon had a side effect that both she and her father took upon themselves. Their hairs and eyes paled with every week.

Her hair faded to that dull, painfully inappropriate, in her eyes, pink and the worst part was not any of the dyes she tried on afterward stayed for long due to the strong issue of the chemical in the weapon they were struck with. Pink. The worst of the color gamma. She felt as if her whole life transformed into a grotesque, the professionalism she previously radiated had now evaporated, leaving a caricature.

Her eyes used to be hazel only with a slight green tinge but now they have faded too, to a hollow green. The celadon nuance of her mother's vases. It was blunt and she didn't like it. As she began to think, she didn't like her forehead too, or the fact that her body hadn't got the appeal of a female. In her frenzy, she tried to change whatever it was in her power and she ended up with an athletic figure. Of course, she reconciled with the fact that she'd never have Ino's curves but at least she was fit. Anyway, it's not as she had any choice.

Sakura brushed back her hair and grabbed her toothbrush, averting eyes from the static reflection.

Hollows, that's what they all were. Walking ghosts. Anyone who survived through the daily horrors and fears of being stabbed, blown to pieces or shot while walking to work or back home, anyone that passed through the days, remaining physically alive but existing as a void, filled with silence and submission knew that this was no way for a person to live. It was as if living constantly under dark clouds, anticipating a storm. That way of living was a confinement to the soul that forced everyone to be dark, uniform and quiet. Nothing changed, for years.

Sakura tied her hair into a ponytail, leaving a few locks free around both sides of her face and went on with dressing up for the day. It was early Autumn and although the leaves still hadn't completely turned golden and red, the temperatures were quite low. Which demanded putting some warm clothes. Quickly finishing with the details, she took her bag and left her apartment, locking it up.

Exactly 7:45, she wasn't a lone figure on the streets since everyone who had a job was obliged to comply with it, wartime or not. The police officers from the night shift were still on their posts, patrolling around every corner. While pacing to the Konoha Hospital, Sakura checked her phone and saw a single unread message from yesterday. Nothing new.

Konoha was not a small city and it always bothered her that the hospital was only one. Having a deficiency of doctors anyway, it was hard to keep up with the patients, especially if they hadn't some ordinary injuries like skin deep wounds or sprains. After working one year as a doctor, she came to the realization that living on the other side of the city, in the house of her parents, wasn't a good idea. She needed to be close, with the schedule always shifting and her, constantly working overtime and that's why she bought an apartment two blocks from the building.

Apart from the hours of disputes with her parents, it turned out a good choice. She understood, they worried about her well-being, living all alone, only on twenty but being a doctor was her call of duty and of heart. Helping people was the least she could do while watching innocent die every day around her. Plus, she couldn't possibly stay at home and do nothing about it, having the degree anyway.

Arriving on time, Sakura hurried through the entrance and headed to the locker room to leave her bag.

"Hey." She heard a greeting behind her and turned to smile at the dark-haired woman that just entered the room - Shizune, one of the main surgeons in the hospital and a respected figure for her knowledge.

"Hey."

Sakura put on the white overall, giving out a faint smile.

"I'll need you in the Emergency Department." Shizune glanced at her. "Tsunade called me two hours ago, said the helicopters were off last night. We have several serious traumas, gunshots, and God knows what else."

"When do we expect them to arrive?" Sakura furrowed. "Was there another attack? I heard nothing on the news yesterday."

"Get your thoughts together, we have to show our best performance." Shizune closed her locker and walked out of the room, followed by Sakura. "These are Konoha's Special Forces."

"The army?"

"Worse. Elite Soldiers. We'll be in trouble with the authorities if something unwanted happens with any of them. They've invested too much there."

"Elite Soldiers? Why send them here?"

"Don't ask questions, do your job. I'll have you know when they arrive. I'm off disinfecting the instruments. We don't know how severe the injuries are exactly." Shizune spoke evenly and stopped before the doors to one of the surgery rooms. "Tell Ino that if she's late one more day, she's fired."

"Understood." Sakura nodded and followed Shizune with her eyes.

Just marvelous. The constant waves of hurt citizens weren't enough, now this. The Special Forces were the Government's property, which meant that their visit to the Hospital would surely be remarked throughout the media. Tons of obnoxious journalists and reporters asking tons of questions, seeking for more information and juicy details like vultures around a dead body. Most of the information was exaggerated or dramatized way more than necessary afterward anyway.

Sakura sighed.

It was going to be a long day.

* * *

A snap of fingers dragged her out of the monotonous line of thoughts in her head as she filled in documents in her own cabinet while still no one requested her presence. It was on the second floor, with a view to the wood beyond a few houses. Previously thick and surrounding the city as a natural fence, now thinned due to the new order. A lot of the trees were cut down and a tall concrete wall served as a border to it. That's why she loved her office, it allowed her a view of the trees, over the wall.

"Forehead, you're called. The guests have arrived." It was Ino, her long golden hair fell down her shoulders, glamorous as always. Sakura always thought she's men's favorite nurse. There were times when some returned to the Hospital with new injuries only to see her again. Seemingly, she had no problem with that.

Sakura glanced at her watch. 9:30.

"Let's go." She stood up and trailed after Ino.

"Okay, Shizune assigned everyone to a different patient. Our main priority are the five ones in the emergency room, the other seven have minor injuries and will be in the ward. You and I, although with another doctor, will be with the serious injuries, Nonō and her team will take care of the rest. Take this." Ino handed her a file.

"Thanks." Sakura grabbed it and they both hurried down the hall.

Once they entered the emergency room, there was a lively presence of medics going all ways, carrying towels and bandages.

"I go this way, see you later." Ino tapped Sakura on the shoulder and left her.

Sakura quickly found her patient, sitting on one of the hospital beds, still and quiet.

"Hello. I'm Doctor Haruno and I'm here to help with whatever I can." Sakura left the file aside, then pulled the neutral colored curtains behind her so that she could isolate the fuss around them and help her focus.

After receiving dead silence from him, she gave up on the conversation and neared him, pulling out the glasses in her pocket and putting on medical gloves. First, she had to take care of the worst, which seemed to be the shoulder wound. Seeing most of the upper part of the uniform soaked in blood, she wondered how many hours did the soldiers spend in that state. Must've been quite a lot, judging from the unnatural white skin on this one.

Sakura carefully pulled wherever the three layers of the dark mattered uniform was torn apart. Clearly, that was a bullet wound. She hoped there wasn't anything broken or dislocated. Now that his shoulder was bare, there was only blood and after a few touches, she was sure at least of something.

"Good news. The bullet's not in." She commented out loud, glancing at him for a second.

There was something in his eyes. She had seen that same look in people that have witnessed death and destruction at first hand. Dry sorrow that could not be mistaken.

"Doesn't look that bad but... It must've been at least a 22 caliber in order to make such a wound." Sakura almost whispered, her eyes feverishly looking for a piece of fabric that might've stuck in between and cause an infection.

Her hand reached for the pincers on the small wheeled table she dragged to herself a few moments ago, as she spotted a small piece after all. She quickly removed it, afraid that the blood loss could be too much for him to handle, the wound still bled. And still, she couldn't let him lay down because the hole in his skin had to be treated.

"This will sting a bit," Sakura warned before applying the soaked with formaldehyde cloth on his skin.

He winced, his brows wrinkling for a moment.

Sakura quickly cleaned the skin around the wound from both sides and put new clothes, pressing them as she bandaged his shoulder tightly. She grew concerned, though, because his breathing was shallow and he was positively dizzy from all the blood loss.

"Do you feel nausea?" Her hand took his wrist to check the pulse after finishing with the bandages.

It was way too fast.

"Yes."

"And a headache, I assume." She furrowed, looking for any other injuries. "Let me see your eyes."

She gently raised his chin up, the light was bright enough for her to see clearly. Unfamiliar feeling pierced through her in the moment her thumbs rested on his face. She was taken aback. Perhaps it was the ink color of the irises or just the overall tiredness, something about his eyes touched her deeply. In a split second, she caught a glimpse of a fathomless pain that was locked up deliberately.

"You seem distracted, doctor." His expression didn't change, though she startled, suddenly feeling her face warmer.

She focused anew and examined his eyes properly. As she feared, the sclera was darker than usual and that meant there was another, internal issue. Finding out exactly what required a blood sample she couldn't take one at the moment. Absolutely not.

"Any other external injuries?" Sakura asked, choosing to ignore the fact that he was now scrutinizing her.

"Bioweapon." He said slowly and won her eyes on him.

"I'm not here to discuss my health, I'm here to discuss yours. If you don't mind..."

"First Lieutenant Uchiha Sasuke."

"Lieutenant." She finished. "If you prove to have more medical knowledge than me, then I'll gladly give up to you my place."

He remained silent and she took a breath, tucking her locks of hair behind the ear.

"I'll have you put on a system, I'm afraid you'll pass out any second now, with that much blood lost."

"I assure you... I've seen much worse." He spoke absently, his thoughts apparently somewhere else.

"You might want to... take off the uniform. The upper part, that is." Sakura said, feeling more inconvenient with every word spoken. "I'm afraid I'll need your forearm bare for the syringe."

Her attention was fully on the blood glucose monitoring device but she could feel his eyes on her back. She put the needle at the end of the narrow pipe and adjusted the dose.

"You can lay down now..." She turned to help him but found herself distracted once again. The skin on his left arm was scarred all over. "Careful." Sakura forced her mind to remain professional and her hands guided him slowly until he rested back on the bed.

Brief silence spread between them as she took the time to search for the right spot where the vein was most visible.

"Left-handed?" She raised her eyes for a second to meet his, now slightly narrowed.

"How did you know?"

"The watch." Sakura carefully inserted the needle in the vein and attached a transparent patch to keep it in place. "It's on your right hand."

He stared at her for a while before relaxing back on the pillow.

"You're lucky you've been hit in the shoulder, lieutenant." Sakura sighed, taking her gloves off.

"I don't believe in luck."

"Well, then." She paused. "God favors you."

He scoffed.

"God forgot about me long ago."

Sakura slowed down her movements, looking up at him again. She knew they weren't supposed to share any information connected with their missions. But she could clearly see their last mission had gone terribly wrong. Did they lose a comrade or being morbid was a constant mood with this one?

"I'll suggest you rest for a while. If the pain doesn't stop," Sakura made a small pause. "I'll come back."

"And if it does?" He asked evenly, but there was a tinge of mockery she didn't fail to notice. Her authority had crumbled down in the moment she lost focus, checking up his eyes.

"I'll come back anyway."

They looked at each other but she averted her eyes quickly and shifted the curtain, taking the file before leaving.

Sakura went to disinfect her gloves next door and returned right away, searching for medics in need of help. She found Ino soon enough, on her way to the disinfectant room.

"How was it with you?" Sakura asked, agreeing to make her company.

"Can you imagine I stumbled across Shikamaru Nara out of all people?"

"I've heard you mention that name before."

"He was a close friend, a neighbor actually. We even learned in the same school. He won the Excellence Award in our graduate class. I haven't seen him in years but he's still a smart-ass."

Sakura smiled at Ino's remark.

"I never understood how can such a lazy bastard get all the A's. Until the very last test, I still thought he's cheating."

"It's great you two met again. Did he recognize you?"

"Well, yeah. But we had to put him unconscious, three fractured ribs too close to the heart. Shizune insisted on having him anesthetized cause the pain is hellish. But he breathes normally, should heal just fine in five-six weeks."

"Good to hear." Sakura exhaled slowly. "I wonder what happened to them all. Seems like they come directly from a battlefield."

"Don't know." Ino shrugged. "I doubt anyone will fill us up on that."

"How are the others?"

"Mm, there's this Temari girl that had some serious grazes on her skin. And the weirdo with the broken leg, think his name was Aburame Shin... Shino." Ino made a sucking sound. "Ah, yes, he has it rough, the skin is practically peeled off, the bone can be seen."

"Awesome."

"Yeah."

"I think you said five?" Sakura put her hands in the pockets of her overall as Ino shook off the water off hers.

"Five?" She furrowed, freezing for a moment. "Oh, yes. The fifth one is the operating room, with Tsunade. I think he's a goner."

"Goner? Why?"

"Third-degree burns. Nasty. And some shrapnel pieces that may or may not have ripped the skin on his back."

Sakura raised up the file and started reading through the names. Four pages ahead, she found the missing name among the ones Ino shared with her.

"Second Lieutenant, Uzumaki Naruto."

"Yep, that one. We'll see about him later. You wanna go take a look at the minor injuries?"

Both left the room and headed to the other side of the corridor slowly.

"How was it with you? You're being unusually quiet, forehead."

"Awkward."

"What you mean?" Ino's curiosity was sparkled.

Sakura let out a quiet moan.

"Ino, how do I get people take me seriously with that hair color?"

"Don't ignore the question, tell me what happened." Ino narrowed eyes at her.

Sakura was still thoughtful. Was it really the hair color this time? Or it was her mistake? Perhaps he was just that kind of a person. Not relying on anyone, looking down on people. It was possible, being a first lieutenant at such an early age, surely such accomplishments aberrated his mind into thinking higher about himself. Perhaps doctors were below his dignity. Or... she just screwed up.

"Was he cute?"

"Ino, stop it." Sakura snapped. "We're not in a shopping center. You don't look at your patients that way."

"Who are you trying to fool here? Your whole face is red." Ino scoffed. "He was cute, wasn't he?"

"Shut up, Pig."

Ino pushed the door to the ward and almost clashed into a tall figure.

"Sorry." She murmured and raised her eyes up.

"Hello there, Beautiful." Were the man's first words, to her great surprise.

Ino wasn't moving and Sakura waited for any of them to do something but they just stood still for a while.

"And you are?" Ino finally uttered, being used to flirty remarks of all sorts.

"Sai. Nice to meet you." He offered his hand but when Ino replied, instead of shaking it he took and kissed it.

Sakura hadn't seen her friend so dumbfounded and speechless.

"Uh... Ino. Yamanaka Ino."

"Ino." He repeated, his eyes slowly scanning her form.

"This is Dr. Haruno Sakura."

"You have a rather ludicrous appearance, doctor." He smiled, offering a hand but Sakura just stared at him, hands squeezing the files.

"I'll go help the nurses." She said firmly and passed by Sai, pacing ahead in anger.

Unbelievable. Didn't anyone teach that man some manners? And that smile, she barely handled the impulse to bash him with her fist.

"Doctor Haruno." A boy with the name Iyashi greeted her with a nod. "Are you alright, doctor?"

Sakura took a breath and exhaled sharply. Was she... really that funny? She swallowed back the lump in her throat, threatening to destroy her whole day.

"I'm fine." She smiled at him, not sure if she'd hold back the bitterness that layered inside of her with every disapproving look and glance at her.

"Sakura." She heard Ino's voice coming closer.

"Did everyone get the needed medical attention, Iyashi?" Sakura asked.

"Yes, doctor."

"Sakura, you okay?" Ino asked, turning her shoulder to look at her.

"Of course I'm okay." Sakura gave her a warm smile but Ino just looked at her silently for a moment.

"Don't mind him, he's another one of these assholes. You know I'm like a magnet to those."

Sakura chuckled hollowly.

"Yeah, I know."

"Forget about this, ok?" Ino held Sakura's arms tightly.

"Ok."

"Goodness, is that Chōji?!" Ino marveled, letting her go.

"Who's Chōji?" Sakura raised a brow, tracing her gaze.

"We were besties at school!" Ino clapped with happiness. "Can't believe my two besties are Elite Soldiers now. I am _so_ proud."

Sakura shook her head as she watched Ino hurrying to meet her friend to the other side of the room. She gave the files in her hands to Iyashi and walked out of the ward slowly. As soon as she entered the ladies' room, her hand pulled out the phone from the pocket of her trousers and dialed a number.

There were two free signals before the other side picked up.

"Hello, Dad." She paused. "I'm fine. Just wanted to see you. Can I come this weekend?"

A wide smile blossomed on her lips in the next seconds.

"Great. See you in two days, then. Bye."

She hung up and looked at her phone for a long time, deciding to put it back in her pocket not until a teardrop fell on its display.

* * *

 _A/N: Thanks for reading. I have seen multiple fanfics with military!Sasuke and but I don't think I've seen a RL AU like that. Thought I'll give it a try. Also, I might rewrite those first five chapters after I'm finished because I messed up too many things._

 _This is **M**_ _but I have to say I'm not the swearing type and the language is minor course, it'll contain non-explicit sexual situations and some detailed description of violence/injuries/blood etc. (By the way, I'll have Sasuke's left arm scarred instead of missing here. Thought that'd be an interesting concept and a change.)_

 _Oh and also I'm having some major KakaSaku here but don't raise your hopes much. I include tiny fragments of InoSai, ShikaTema and NaruHina too._ _I appreciate any kind of feedback 'cause I want to get better at writing. It's gonna be a long journey, I have_ ~ _100k words planned out for this, just so you know. Thanks, again and hope you like it._


	2. One Of Those

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of the characters in it.**

* * *

 **II.**

 **\- One Of Those -**

Fridays. Was there a person on Earth who didn't like them? The day when your agony finally ceases and you can… go back home quickly because loud parties were a history. Should a party occurred somewhere in Konoha, the police took care it's ruined with everything they could.

Everyone went through a check-up, what they wear, what they carry, does it represent a danger or not. Searching in the building, making sure it's safe enough and no one plans to strike on civilians. With all these complications, making up a party in the first place was an impossible task.

Anyway, Sakura usually spent the Friday nights over a book or a movie in order to get her mind off work. She couldn't wait for the night to come. Only that ten hours separated her from her bed and book. Ten hours of gray hospital walls and paperwork.

The good thing was that she had a wonderful view through the window in her cabinet. Looking through it allowed her to rest her eyes a bit and think about various side problems she was currently in the middle of. Usually, she liked facing her problems simply because running from them was like throwing a boomerang – they always came back and hit her harder.

She had a hard time accepting her outer appearance and that was not a laughable matter. Living in your own skin and being comfortable with it was of great importance. But somehow, whenever she thought she had it all fixed, someone came and destroyed her confidence. It was a tough battle and she often wondered how much in this world is determined by the eyes. If people were blind and had only their sense of touch, perhaps everyone would've felt less pain. 'Only if' theories never helped either.

Whatever she did, it didn't seem to be enough. Because no one saw a counter of how many lives she saved, what people most likely saw was a bright-colored mistake. She didn't blame anyone, though, if she was a patient, a pink-haired youngster was going to be the last person she'd want to trust and rely on.

There was this other problem; she couldn't get a certain person out of her head. It was the hardest task she had ever placed upon herself yet forgetting such pain was not in her power. It was as if electricity struck her in that moment, she just couldn't shake the memory off. There was something magnetic in that darkness he carried.

Sakura glanced at the newspaper Ino dropped earlier on her desk.

" _Fortunately, the Second Lieutenant is saved_ , were the words of Konoha's CEO Tsunade. " _It is an honor for us to serve our country by saving and taking care of these soldiers. Our Hospital is a refuge for everyone in need; it has always been and will be."_ Tsunade refused to give answers to further questions about the condition of the soldiers or whether she's aware of the reason for that sudden, if it may be called that way, visit, of the Special Forces in Konoha's Hospital. A detailed report of one of the Hospital's attending doctors on page 7."

Fortunately, everyone was saved, yes. What was also fortunate was that they managed to come off with a whole skin in that bloody situation. No one hurt meant people could still rely on the institution. Their name remained clean and they met everyone's expectations. At least that was good.

What was also good was the fact that she hid every time a journalist dared trail after a nurse or a doctor in order to get an interview. And at the end of the day, she managed to escape through the back door, the hood of her jacket over her head so that the chance of someone spotting her hair is zero.

Today, the annoying bunch still hanged around, buses taking the parking places; cameramen adjusting their tech. It seems the sensation wasn't going to pass soon.

"Sakura." Ino dashed into her office and she almost jumped in surprise.

"How about you knock on the door before coming in?" Sakura furrowed at her. "You always scare the hell of out of me. Pig."

"Hades is having complications," Ino announced, hands in the air. "Thought you might wanna know."

"Who?"

"Your guy. He's coughing blood."

Sakura stood up right away and wasted no time, heading straight to the emergency room.

" _Hades_ , Ino? Seriously?" Sakura murmured.

"Why didn't you tell me he's so hot?"

"I was busy saving his life." She snapped. "Self-control, have you heard of it?"

"Come on, I'm only trying to live up the atmosphere. Everyone here looks depressed. You need help?"

"Actually, yes. I might use your help."

They entered the emergency room where most of the patients lied asleep now. A small group of nurses had gathered around the bed in the far end and Sakura hurried to them.

"Yakushi? What happened?" Sakura asked, pushing gently the other two nurses so that she could see.

"We stabilized him," Yakushi replied right away, seeing Sakura's concerned face as she laid eyes on the man, lying unconscious with a cold compress on his forehead.

Sakura checked his pulse, then his temple and furrowed.

"Gosh, he's burning."

"He coughed blood."

"Yes, I know that." Sakura exhaled sharply, grabbing a syringe. "You can leave now, I don't require your assistance."

She took a few milliliters of blood from his hand and squeezed it out in a tiny, narrow flask. The other nurses left, continuing with their work over the other patients quietly.

"Ino. I'm entrusting you with this. Go to the laboratory and examine the sample. I'll wait for you here."

"What do you think it is?" Ino took carefully the flask.

"I'm almost sure it's some kind of a poisoning. If they won't give us the answer, we'll find it ourselves." Sakura left the syringe on the tray next to the bed. "Please, hurry. I'll be here."

"Coming right away." Ino nodded and left.

Sakura remained still for a second, estimating the situation, then neared the bed. Coughing blood was never a good sign. There were several options. The gunshot could've triggered it but it was not likely. Pneumonia? Could be, he was feverish and barely breathed. The list went on and the suggestion became only worse. Pulmonary embolism, tuberculosis, lung cancer, malformations.

Sakura wondered what his story was, though she assumed it wasn't something far from the stories she heard. Usually, soldiers of that class were people who had nothing to lose. Mostly orphans. Orphans made the perfect warriors. What surprised her was that... the whole group, they were her age. While she had both parents living and breathing, some fought real battles with no one to call should something happens to them. A wave of compassion washed through her, brows wrinkling.

Her hands reached for his and slowly turned it, detaching the strap of the watch. The movement seemed to wake him up because he recoiled from her touch, not quickly but enough to let her know what she was doing was not to his liking.

She looked up at him for a moment. His eyes were half-open, glaring at her.

"Good morning." She smiled, unaffected.

Her hands took his again and continued with the detaching. Freeing his hand, she placed the watch on the bedside table and raised her eyes to meet his.

"I'm not stealing it. It obstructed the normal blood flow."

He inhaled with difficulty, casting a murderous gaze at her.

"Alright," Sakura sighed and turned around. "I'm leaving."

"Wait." Sasuke groaned and she raised a brow, facing him again.

"Yes?"

"Is Naruto alive?" He breathed out.

"He is." Sakura paused. "It's not pretty but he'll make it."

Sasuke closed his eyes for a second, visibly relaxing at the news. Sakura tilted her head a bit. Curiosity corroded her from the inside. But she wasn't an investigator, she was a doctor.

"The pain has gotten worse, hasn't it?" She asked evenly. "I can't give you anything until I'm sure what's actually wrong with you."

The silence extended for one long moment.

"You're one of those." Sasuke drawled.

"Those?"

"Hate-to-lose." A faint smile appeared on his lips. "Predictable."

"I am what I am, if you don't like it, I can transfer you to another. You can get Ino if you want. No man has ever rejected _that_ offer." Sakura folded hands.

"She's not my type."

"You have a type?" Sakura narrowed eyes, deciding to use his trick. "You look like one of those to me."

He looked at her, intrigued. But Ino interrupted their conversation, showing up from behind.

"Sakura, come here for a second." She dragged her backward until they were at a safe distance.

"What is it?"

"Cyanide poisoning," Ino's expression was of heavy concern. "But we can still deal with it, although he was already coughing blood."

Sakura exhaled slowly.

"Thought it might be that. Hydroxocobalamin, a lot of it."

"I can see if we have in store." Ino offered.

"It will be nice." Sakura nodded.

"I'll bring you some. Don't have much fun without me."

With these words, Ino disappeared once more and left Sakura hanging. She returned to the bed at a quick pace.

"We figured out what's wrong with you, lieutenant. Which means we know the right medicine for you. Which means it's going to rid you of that pain."

"I don't want… a medicine." He uttered.

"Excuse me?"

"I am not taking any medicine."

Sakura stared at him as if struck by a lightning.

"What do you mean? You refuse to take it?"

"Yes."

She swallowed. What? What was with him all of a sudden?

"Do you realize how serious the situation is? You are in an advanced phase of a poisoning. It's lethal."

"I know."

Sakura was at a loss. Her feet suddenly dragged her away, to the door. She left the room and headed to the other wing, with every step more and more surprised.

"Sakura? Where are you going?" Ino's voice called her, in the distance.

"Not now, Ino. I have to do something first." Sakura yelled back, raising her hand.

Two corridors further. Room 110, 111… that one. Sakura knocked three times and waited.

"Come in."

Sakura opened the door sharply and closed it behind.

"Sakura, what leads you here?" Tsunade raised her eyes from the documents in front of her.

"I'm very sorry for the sudden intrusion."

"It's fine. Something wrong?"

"Yes. There is something wrong." Sakura started, realizing her breath was short because she nearly ran her way to the office.

"How can I help?"

Sakura stared at the floor for a few seconds before taking a breath again.

"Is there a way to cure a patient without their consent?"

"I'm afraid you can't," Tsunade replied, brows slightly furrowing. "Not without their consent."

"No?"

"No, you can't."

Sakura tucked her hair behind her ear nervously.

"Sakura, who's the patient?"

"I…" Sakura looked to and fro. "I'm s-sorry. I'll leave."

"Sakura, wait-"

She had already clicked the door shut and exhaled. What the hell happened on that mission? And would she allow a patient of hers to die like that? Her head was a mess and she needed rest. Her gaze fell on her watch. Alright. Lunch break.

* * *

"Here she is. Sakura, come sit with us!" Ino shouted from the other side, on the cafeteria side. It was a crescent-like small restaurant just outside the hospital where usually she and her colleagues gathered for the breaks.

The skies were metallic blue, seemed like another one of these autumn rains was going to pour down on the city in the late afternoon, bringing that evening chill, characteristic for the season. Konoha's winters weren't that harsh but the autumn was unpleasant.

Ino was sitting on a table next to two other girls Sakura didn't know. The one on the right dragged her attention for she had the most intriguing sad, silvery eyes and long dark hair. There was something mystical in her air as if she was from another dimension. As for the girl next to her, her eyes were a dark, rusty metal; she seemed lively but more determined than her companion.

"I don't wanna eat this, you want it?" Ino offered her a small plastic cup filled with spaghetti. The restaurant and the cafeteria were two parts of one and offered a variety of foods, including fruits and vegetables.

"Sure." Sakura took the only empty chair and smiled at her. "Thanks."

"This is Hyuga Hinata," Ino said, presenting the girls as if on stage. "And this is Kusabe Tenten."

"Pleased to meet you." Sakura offered her hand first to Hinata and then to Tenten. "I am Haruno Sakura."

"You must be a nurse," Tenten noted, scanning her white overall.

"A doctor, actually." Sakura corrected. "Are you two a part of the Elite Soldiers?"

Tenten had black trousers and a black polo, which made her easy to guess.

"I am," Tenten confirmed. "She's a friend."

"I just came here to…" Hinata's voice trembled. "Can I… can I see him now?"

"Do you have a close relative in there?" Sakura asked carefully.

"Yes. He's… not exactly a relative." She gave a sad smile.

"Girl, you've hit the jackpot. You gotta tell me how is it to have a boyfriend from the army." Ino leaned back in her chair. "Must be pretty cool. All these abs and stuff."

Hinata's skin instantly acquired a dark shade of red, her eyes so captivating that Sakura caught herself staring.

"That dumbass Naruto." Tenten snapped, taking a sip of her coffee. "She's always worried sick about him and he keeps hurting himself. I once thought there was hope for the male sex. What was I thinking?"

The other three laughed at the severity of her tone.

"Sure there isn't much hope for some women too." Ino pondered. "But I'm gonna agree with you on that now."

"I'm sure he doesn't do it on purpose." Hinata looked down, sighing.

"I'm afraid he'll need to rest for a week or two before you can see him. He's hurt pretty bad." Sakura explained quietly.

"Serves him right," Tenten murmured.

"Tenten, please." Hinata pleaded. "I know he wouldn't hurt himself on purpose."

"He didn't. It was worth the risk." Tenten's eyes were staring down at her cup but Sakura was fixed on her.

"What risk?"

Tenten raised her eyes to her.

"I'm not at liberty to say. Sorry."

"Right. I assume there were explosions. The shrapnel pieces in your second lieutenant's body confirm it." Sakura paused, after winning Tenten's penetrating gaze upon herself, a tad surprised. "One must breathe in smoke for quite some time to receive a cyanide poisoning. To me remains a mystery why only your first lieutenant has that condition but the more important question is why is your comrade refusing to heal?"

"Refusing to heal?" Ino's voice echoed after hers.

"I am not sharing information of any kind, I'm sure you understand, I have been ordered to do so… doctor." Tenten replied slowly. "However, why my comrade is refusing to heal I can't say simply because I don't know the answer."

"Is an order more important than your comrade's life? A death by cyanide poisoning is one of the most painful ways to die and he _will_ die in a week or so if all of you keep the truth to yourself." Sakura didn't realize her tone was too loud.

"Are you deaf? I said I don't know." Tenten glared at her and stood up sharply, leaving them.

Sakura furrowed.

"Did you have to do that?" Ino raised a brow.

"Yes, I did." Sakura snapped. "What's with her anyway?"

"She had already lost a comrade." Hinata's quiet, unearthly voice dragged the attention. "Someone she loved."

Sakura's eyes dropped down.

"I screwed up again. I'm coming right away."

She ran in order to keep up with Tenten who was pacing quickly back to the hospital.

"Tenten? Will you stop for a second?" Sakura caught up with her just a few meters from the entrance. „Please?"

"What do you want?"

"I want to apologize. I am sorry for my tone back there." Sakura's voice lowered.

Tenten looked at her in silence. She made the impression of a person who had no intention to forgive anything to anyone but her features softened a bit after a long inner battle.

"It's Sasuke, right? The one refusing to heal?"

"Y-yeah," Sakura replied with uncertainty. "How'd you know?"

"He's the only drama queen in the squad. Someone's gotta beat the hell out of that boy. That's the only way he'll come to his senses." Tenten huffed and made her way into the building.

* * *

The hours to the end of the shift dragged painfully slow but eventually, the sky darkened and she was already closing the door to her cabinet. She left it open because Ino said she'd need some of the files in there, for tomorrow. To her great surprise, Tsunade told her she could take a break this weekend since she and Ino were going to be around. Which meant she could actually visit her parents as planned. But now she wasn't really sure if she wanted to.

Sakura walked down the corridor absently, heading to the locker room.

She'd have to lie to her father that everything is alright. And try to take no notice of the passively offensive remarks of her mother, concerning how badly she treated herself, to what danger she was putting herself to, living alone, which would lead her to the matters of why her daughter's boyfriend-list was frighteningly empty throughout the years, which in its turn would suggest some psychological defect.

Then her father would begin to defend her. And that cycle of meaningless quarrels about her future and life continuing until the moment she had to leave. Then, all of the accusations melted away, transforming into a pure form of love and support. The one she visited them for. They gave her the courage that she had lost along the way and reminded her to keep fighting. That's why she always came back, no matter what they said or did. Better have them, quarreling, then missing or dead.

The Hospital was almost empty. Most of her colleagues were likely home already and the ones who worked the night shift were probably still on their way. Sakura absently pushed the door and soon reached for her locker.

"I could break that neck… so easily."

Sakura startled at the unexpected presence and turned sharply.

"W-what are you doing here?" She managed to form a sentence over the feeling of her heart still beating vigorously from that surprising appearance. "You should be lying in your bed."

"Exactly," He made a step to her, leaning on the lockers.

"You can't just take off the system and walk around. You can't function properly without-

"Shut up."

Sakura narrowed eyes.

"You plan on going home? How about I tell the guards you're here?"

"Do any of this," he took another step, finding himself a pace away from her, "and I'll kill you with my bare hands."

Sakura slightly leaned backward, fear crawling underneath her skin. He sounded serious and there was no reason she wouldn't believe these words. On the other side, letting him escape would lead to hundred problems. If Tsunade found out she had let him go, she'd be fired. What could she do to stop him, though, he had the aura of a walking thunderstorm. Opposition seemed a laughable choice.

Did he realize that he looked like he's been hit by a bus with that torn uniform? The thought sparkled her mind, coming up with a reason why he was here in the first place. She opened her locker and took off her coat only to offer it to him.

"I could give you some morphine." She said, at last, still waiting for him to take her cloth. "I've got some pills in my cabinet."

He clearly didn't expect a reaction of the sort and furrowed.

"It's cold outside. Take it." Sakura insisted on the coat, ignoring his eyes.

Sasuke slowly took the overcoat from her and she proceeded to gather her things, without looking at him. She heard his steps toward the exit and raised her head.

"Cyanide poisoning," Sakura said out loud and he froze. It was the time to use a white lie. Cyanide had specific and not overall pleasant symptoms but dying from it resembled falling asleep. If the lie would change his mind, so be it. "It's a painful death."

In one long moment, they both stood still and silent. Then the steps renewed, followеd by the sound of the door opening sharply.

* * *

 _A/N: Thanks for reading._ _Ok, guys, imagine that in my AU that kind of poisoning is some advanced thing that kills slowly and painfully, for 3-6 days, and not 3-6 hours, I could rewrite those chapters and be authentic about cyanide but I, honestly, don't have the time. Have mercy upon me. My writing may be annoying in the first chapters but I gradually got better thanks to the critique. If you have the nerves, feel free to stay 'till the end._ _Sorry for the NejiTen feels but I'll stick to the canon deaths._

* * *

 _To_ _ **Guest(1**_ _): You can stay calm, I am not going to do this. Sasuke will keep both his arms until the end. However, he's going to suffer in different ways. That's what people do during а war, actually. Don't worry, he won't be the only one._

 _To_ _ **Guest(2**_ _): Glad you're intrigued by the concept, I am too. I've been thinking about writing this fic for half a year now. Military!Sasuke + Doctor!Sakura gave birth to some weird ideas in my head. We'll see if people like it with time._

 _To_ _ **Guest(3)**_ _: Thank you. Glad you like it._

 _To_ _ **YoungDemoness**_ _: Thank you for the kind words, dear! It seems I've succeeded in making you feel Sakura's bitterness from the fact that she's truly different from the others, which makes me happy. I always fear I'm not good enough of a writer. Hope I won't disappoint in the future too._


	3. Oppositions

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in it.**

* * *

 **III.**

 **\- Oppositions -**

"Come in." Mebuki stepped back, inviting her in.

The door closed with a click behind her.

"Hello, mom." Sakura hugged her warmly and in her turn, Mebuki slightly pushed her to the inner part of the house.

The Haruno Household was a cozy place. Average sized rooms, filled only with the most important things one needed. It wasn't anything special, with its faded wall paint, old floral hangings, and round carpets but it was where she spent all of the years of her childhood and the place carried a sentimental air. There would always be a place in her heart for these ordinary, simple rooms.

"Come here, sweetie!" Kizashi almost jumped from the couch.

It seems he hadn't heard the front door opening and her appearance in the dining-room surprised him.

"Dad, please." Sakura tried to calm him down but she was already squeezing her tightly between his arms.

A warm feeling ensconced within her as she smiled, wrapping her hands around the taller man slowly. He never failed to make her feel good. As she began to think about it, perhaps he was the one who brought the sentimental air in that house. It was him that she would call her real home. Not that she didn't love her mother as much. Kizashi was the one who never judged her for anything and supported her wholeheartedly.

She was positive that there would be no man on Earth that could make her feel so safe.

"You're even thinner than the last time I saw you. I bet you're not eating properly."

"I am eating plenty of food. Don't worry."

"You seem pale. Is there something wrong?"

"Ah, well. I've been overthinking things last night. Couldn't sleep much."

"Come and eat lunch with us first." Mebuki offered. "Then you'll tell us everything."

Soon after they sat on the table and ate quietly from Mebuki's rice with vegetables. Sakura was surprised to realize how much she had missed her mother's cooking. Everything was somehow magically enhanced in taste and incredibly delicious when your mother has cooked it. Whenever she cooked for herself, it was just vapid.

"So, how is it in the Hospital?" Mebuki asked once they finished with the cleaning and the dishes.

"Not so good. You two follow the news, don't you?"

"We do. And still, we have no idea what's going on." Mebuki looked at her husband.

"You know how it goes," Kizashi explained. "Half an hour of reporters saying practically nothing about the actual problem and interviews with people who ignore the direct answer to the question."

"Not very informative."

Sakura chuckled.

"Yeah, you described it very well, that's exactly what happens."

"Well? What's happening? Is the Hospital in trouble?" Kizashi incited her to share.

"We're not involved in anything, father. We just take care of the soldiers' health. Whatever happened, it's between the Special Forces and the Government. Seems to me like these people came back from a failed mission."

"And?"

"And their doctors have died," Sakura said, looking up to her parents.

"What do you mean?" Kizashi asked, brows furrowing.

"Never before we had Elite Forces requiring the medical attention of our Hospital's physicians. As far as I know, there are always two or three military doctors in such groups. They are the ones who take care of the troops, there's no way they don't bring medics along. And I didn't see anyone with medical degree among the profiles in there. Only one of them had a medical certificate but that doesn't exactly make you a doctor. That means basic medical knowledge, more like a paramedic."

"So, you think that's the reason they seek your help," Mebuki concluded.

Sakura leaned on her hand.

"I am almost hundred percent sure."

"I see."

"Elite Soldiers, huh? I didn't even know we have such thing in Konoha." Kizashi pondered.

"Well, I've only heard about them. Didn't think I'll get face to face with them."

"What do you think... of the soldiers?"

Sakura shrugged.

"They were all so secretive and... somehow hostile." She started slowly, making circles on the table. "It's hard for one to create an image for them. Overall, they looked like people who have lost a lot."

"How is Ino doing?" Mebuki asked.

Sakura let out a laugh at the change of subject.

"Still annoys me. But we get along. She has to study one more year in order to become a full-fledged doctor. "

"I'm concerned about whoever entrusts their life to her." Kizashi uttered.

"Dad, she may play dumb but she's reliable." Sakura furrowed.

"If you say so," Kizashi raised his hands in defeat and a brief pause spread between them.

Mebuki suddenly stood up, her face lighting up.

"I almost forgot. I made tea." She announced, stepping away from them. "Will be back in a minute."

Kizashi waited for his wife to leave the room and took Sakura's hand in his.

"Sakura, you sounded upset when we talked on the phone. What is it that you don't tell us?"

Sakura fixed her eyes on him, holding his for one long moment.

"This hair color." She spoke quietly. "Do they not laugh at you, father?"

Kizashi withered at her daughter's pained expression and his hand caressed hers thoughtfully.

"Why does it have to matter?" He shrugged. "It's not something I can change. You know what? Your mom likes me." Kizashi paused, a warm smile on his lips. "That's all I need."

"Yeah, but it's different with me," Sakura explained bitterly. "I am a doctor. People need to trust me."

"They will when they have no choice. I think a truly desperate person wouldn't judge by appearance. The knowledge, the devotion and compassion will be the ones that matter."

Sakura gave him a half-smile, tucking her hair behind the ear.

"It's just… I hate it. I didn't want it and it feels like a punishment. I'm afraid you've cursed me with that name. I'm slowly becoming a cherry tree."

"I know how you feel, dear," Kizashi said, barely holding a laugh. "And, no. I gave you that name because the sakura is a powerful symbol. It matched everything I thought about you when I first laid eyes on you, as tiny as you were. Life, beauty and most of all… hope."

Sakura didn't notice when her eyes had started to blur but her father's words soothed the bitterness she had built up inside of her for quite some time.

"You never change, dad."

"And I'm proud of it."

"Weird thing is, I haven't stumbled across someone else with such genetic aberration." Sakura pondered, chuckling faintly. "But then again, I see the same people every day and I don't go out much so it's to be expected."

"I am sure I'm not the only one to see how well the pink looks on you. You're cute." Kizashi concluded.

"Cute doesn't win me much respect, though." Sakura sighed.

"Tea's ready." Mebuki returned with a tray.

She poured it into three cups and sat to enjoy it. The three of them sipped from it in silence when Sakura's phone rang and she looked her parents apologetically.

"Excuse me for a second. I have to take this."

She stood up and quickly paced to the kitchen, picking up. Would it be a mistake if she turns and closes the door behind? Her parents were going to interrogate her until they get the truth if they ever suspected she hides something from them. Not that she ever did. Kizashi never let her feel like anything she's hidden would bring her a punishment or a scolding of any kind. Willing confessions were common for her, with a dad like hers.

However, Sakura knew that whatever that conversation was going to be, it needn't reach her parents' ears for now. Perhaps she could lower the pitch, too.

"Ino?"

 _"Did you put him in your closet or something?"_

A brief pause followed, in which Sakura didn't dare move or breathe.

"Am I fired?"

 _"Aha! Busted."_

"Wait, so you don't know what happened?"

 _"How the hell should I know? There are two people who are missing in this hospital right now. You and the sexy officer you apparently know something about."_

"I... I let him go?" Sakura twisted it into a question, at a loss.

 _"So you saw him leave and you didn't do anything about it. Interesting."_

"Ino, I'm begging you," Sakura went to the countertop and leaned on it. "Don't tell Tsunade."

 _"Hmm, what would I want in return? Let me think of something..."_

"Ino, it's not funny." Sakura turned to the opened door, lowering her voice. "What could I do? He threatened to kill me."

 _"You're joking!"_

Laughter rang out from the other side of the phone, making Sakura even more nervous.

 _"Damn, I wish I had seen that."_

"Ino..."

 _"Calm down, forehead. I'm not telling her. She's got enough on her shoulders anyway."_

"You think it's gonna be a problem? That he left without a doctor discharging him officially?"

 _"Not sure about that. If we keep it a secret from the public, we'll be fine. I'm more worried that he was assigned to you. What do you plan to write in your report?"_

Sakura let out a heavy sigh.

"I don't know. I'll think of something... What the hell is wrong with him, leaving like that? With that much smoke inhaled, he'll only suffer away from any kind of medical treatment."

 _"Didn't cyanide, like, lead to confusion, bizarre behavior, stuff like that?"_

"But he looked absolutely sane when I last saw him."

 _"Ah, well, then he's just one crazy son of a bitch. It'd be such a terrible waste of genetic material, though."_

"Ino, please keep these opinions for yourself. Think like a doctor for once, will you?" Sakura sighed with exasperation, tired of Ino's remarks. "I don't know what he's thinking but it cannot be good. One does not simply decide to die. Why would he do that?"

 _"Tough childhood? Who hasn't got one? By the way, it's not like we know what happened on that mission."_

"That's it. I have to know what happened there. Perhaps I might understand why he's acting like that."

 _"Well, I know his life's gonna hang on your shoulders later but once a patient is discharged the doctor doesn't intervene anymore."_

"I can't just let a person die!" Sakura replied to her in a loud whisper.

 _"Admit it, you just have a crush."_

"I'm hanging up."

 _"I saw it from miles. You are terrible at hiding emotions, you know."_

"Bye," Sakura said and was about to hang up when Ino shouted at the speaker.

 _"Sakura, wait. I have a plan!"_

Sakura slowly returned the phone to her ear."It better be good."

 _"I may or may not have someone who we can interrogate."_

Sakura raised a brow.

"Doesn't sound good at all. Who is that person, if it's not a secret?"

 _"Remember the dork that somehow managed to charm me and offend you within two sentences?"_

Sakura closed her eyes for a few seconds.

"What have you done this time?"

 _"We... were in the storage unit today. And then we started kissing. And there was this table he put me on-"_

"Stop it! I don't wanna know." Sakura couldn't help but laugh. "Goodness, Ino. Thought you said he was _another one of these assholes._ You only said that to make me feel better, didn't you?"

 _"Yes. Hey, stop judging. I think I really like this one."_

"You said the same for the last three men you were with. People are not toys, for your information."

 _"That one's cute and he keeps looking at me like I'm made of chocolate. Think I'm gonna keep him for now."_

Sakura shook her head.

"I'm starting to feel sorry for him."

 _"Shut up. I'm making you a double service here and you_ _'_ _re still being pretentious."_

"And what... you think he'll just share with us classified information?"

 _"He will. Trust me."_

Sakura remained silent, feeling like Ino had something to add.

 _"I assume they don't allow intimate relationships on the battlefield. Can't find another reason for that..."_ Ino paused a bit, searching for the right words. _"...ravenous behavior."_

A smile appeared on Sakura's lips. Ino was just incorrigible.

 _"Anyway, he'll, uh... wholeheartedly comply with whatever I want."_

"I get it, Ino. No need for you to explain further."

 _"Right. Sorry about that. Just seems to me these people are seriously damaged."_

"Yeah. I noticed." Sakura slightly tilted her head, starting to play with the edge of her blouse.

 _"When will you be back?"_

"Monday? I can come tomorrow if you want."

 _"No, you can stay with your parents for the weekend. I might have to hang up, someone's knocking on the door. Okay, see you on Monday."_

Sakura slowly hung up and remained in her spot. First letting a dying patient leave the hospital, then performing illegal interrogation. What did she get herself into? She didn't want to end up in the jail, for sure. But there was a real chance she could lose her job. The job she loved so much.

"Was that your boyfriend?" Mebuki asked, surprising her from behind with the empty tray in her hands.

"It was Ino." Sakura furrowed at her. "Don't start on that, mom. Please."

"Just asking. Time's ticking, you know. You won't be twenty-three forever." Mebuki went to the sink and left the tray in it.

Sakura sighed.

"I can live on my own. It's not that bad to be alone. Why are people always making it out like it's impossible? Like you _have_ to be with someone at all costs. This is just wrong."

Her mother looked at her silently.

"Isn't it best for one to learn to live with himself first?" Sakura folded hands, in the mood for a dispute.

"You're right, Sakura." Mebuki agreed after a pause. "However, it's not that bad to have someone like Kizashi around, waking you up at 4 am just to tell you a joke."

Sakura tried to keep a straight face but burst into laughter and her mother joined her.

* * *

These two days were like an oasis in the desert of her monotonous days of work and sleep. Both her parents were glad she had the time to visit them, although briefly. She parted with them on Sunday, in the afternoon and received a package of useful things she could take with herself in her apartments (she was especially happy with the small box filled with black tea her mother gave her) along with two warm hugs.

Returning to the Hospital on Monday was the real challenge, though. Fortunately, Tsunade didn't suspect her of anything, busy with worries around a certain missing patient. Even if she did suspect something, her silence suggested she wasn't about to accuse any of her inferiors of the sudden disappearance. He was not any patient, though, if something happened to him, in the meantime, something like death, sure the Government would seek an explanation from the Hospital that was supposed to take care of him.

Although aware that she couldn't do much, she still felt guilty about it. If he died, the Hospital was going to pay _a lot_ of money and her conscience was probably going to destroy her with guilt over a person's death. A death that she could've prevented while there was still time. Did he even know what he did, leaving like that?

Sakura was already walking through the corridors, uneasiness rising within her. Time was of the essence and she didn't have a clue, what to do or how to do it. She only hoped Ino will help her. Not long after she decided to search for them, they showed up hand in hand, walking down the corridor. Sakura was taken aback by the closeness and gradually stopped in front of them.

"Hey." Sakura greeted evenly.

"Hey." Ino grinned.

"What's going on?" Sakura raised a brow, her gaze shifting from Ino to Sai and back. "Are we going to do something or not?"

Ino giggled at her secretive tone.

"I understand you need to know what happened on our last mission." Sai finally spoke. "I think I can transfer you to a more reliable source."

Sakura's expression twisted into a grimace of horror.

"Why does it have to be so complicated?"

"Nothing to worry." Ino rested her hand on Sakura's shoulder. "The Second Lieutenant's awake. Sai thinks he'll gladly help with anything concerning Lieutenant Uchiha."

"Really?" Sakura lit up.

"You might want to wait a bit, though," Ino warned. "He's got visitors at the moment."

"Thank you." Sakura hurried to move past them and turned only for a second. "To both of you."

"You owe me one," Ino shouted after her.

* * *

The room was dead quiet when she entered and first thought there was nobody in but then realized there was a whisper. Sakura clicked shut the door as subtly as she could and fortunately didn't draw the attention. Her eyes rest on the bed, on the other side of the room and she remained by the door, leaning back in contemplation. The very sight could warm anyone's heart and it would've been a crime to ruin it.

Hinata laid beside Naruto on the hospital bed, both were covered in the fawn blanket. She spoke quietly about something Sakura couldn't hear but it seems Naruto was happy to hear it because a faint chuckle wrested out of him.

They looked so casually perfect that she suddenly felt the urge to leave the room and she almost did, her hand reaching for the handle to the door.

"Doctor Haruno?" Hinata's timid voice echoed in the silence and Sakura turned around.

"I am sorry for the interruption..." Sakura furrowed.

Hinata slowly got out of the bed.

"It's not a problem."

"Can I ask him a few questions?"

"Of course."

"Ask whatever you like, doctor." Naruto intervened and smiled at Hinata, their hands parting as she stepped back.

"I'll leave you to Doctor Haruno for a couple of minutes." She tilted her head and smiled back at him before walking away.

Sakura's eyes fell on the device that provided secondly a dose of morphine and imagined he wasn't feeling as good as he appeared to be, judging from the milligrams.

"I don't usually ruin personal visits like that, lieutenant." Sakura glanced at him apologetically. "Neither am I the type of person to force people to answer questions while they're still recovering from a trauma. But it seems I did both of these things for which I'm terribly sorry."

"Call me Naruto, please." He smiled again, a wide smile. "I'll help if I can. What is this about?"

Sakura relaxed a bit. He seemed the most friendly out of the whole group. His baby blue eyes were clear and warm. There was this same sadness she saw in the first lieutenant. The incurable sadness, only with this one it was concealed in an overdosed joy. Funny, as she thought about it the other one seemed to be the exact opposite of this one. This one had transformed his pain into love and the other one into hate. She expected something close to hostility when she entered the room but was pleasantly surprised.

"I wouldn't bother you if it wasn't important. The life of your comrade is in danger."

"My comrade?"

"Your first lieutenant has a serious poisoning that must be treated as soon as possible." Sakura decided to start from the beginning. "However, he refused to be treated with medication and left on his own."

Naruto made a hissing sound.

"That bastard. Whenever he finds himself out of a problem, and that's close to never, he makes up one just to be in it."

Sakura paused a bit, hands folding. Then took a breath again, continuing.

"I thought you might know why he's acting like that. Is there a way to change his mind?"

"Change his mind?" Naruto repeated and started laughing.

"I see." Sakura withered.

"Listen, doctor." Naruto coughed, trying to calm himself down. "A surprise attack came down on a platoon close to us. In fact, we were the ones closest to them."

Sakura's eyes fixed on him once again.

"We received a call for backup and responded immediately, of course." Naruto made a brief pause, furrowing. "This platoon..."

"What?" Sakura incited.

"Uh, his brother was there," Naruto said, inconveniently. "He didn't wait for an order and dashed into a search for his brother while the enemy was still firing at us. Almost every building I saw was burning and we barely saw anything from the smoke. Our captain ordered retreat because he couldn't get in touch with the platoon's commandant. No one answered and the captain knew there were no survivors."

Sakura took a breath sharply.

"What happened then?"

"Well, the base was still under fire so everyone hurried to retreat but there was no trace from Sasuke. I couldn't just leave him to die and I went to search for him. I found him sitting on the ground, still and quiet, also shot in the shoulder. We were in the middle of a smoke cloud so I yelled at him. He didn't respond so I went and grabbed his arm and pulled him away from that bloody place. I don't remember much then, I think a grenade exploded somewhere close to us."

"Probably." Sakura shook her head. "Your wounds suggest so."

"Tch," Naruto clicked his tongue. "I'm good."

"So his brother died there?" Sakura inquired quietly.

"Yeah..." He sighed. "Shame. He was a nice fella. Met him once or twice."

"Were they close? With Sasuke?"

"As close as it could get." Naruto shook his head. "After their parents died, they became even more inseparable."

Sakura slowly put her hands in the pockets of her overall, her eyes sinking down to the floor.

"Itachi was everything he had."

"I understand."

Naruto remained silent for a while, relaxing back in the pillow.

"What do you plan to do, doctor?"

Sakura sighed.

"I don't know. But thank you, nevertheless. You were incredibly helpful."

"Anytime." He winked at her and she couldn't help but smile.

"I'll leave you to rest."

Sakura moved away from his bed, heading to the door.

"Doctor Haruno?" He called and she faced him again.

"What is it?"

"Please do everything you can. He's a friend."

Sakura nodded and left the room at a slow pace.

* * *

 _A/N: Thanks for reading, thanks to everyone that followed, favorited and reviewed, too. You guys are awesome and you're making me very happy!_

 _I think I slightly trespass the OOC lands. I made Ino a bit of a playgirl here but I think it's realistic to have her that way. She's a tad more light-headed than Sakura and aware of the power her beauty has. I think everyone else is good for now. Also, I twisted the Itachi/Sasuke relationship a bit. There was no hate between them in my universe._

* * *

 _To **Guest (1)** : Glad you find it interesting. You'll be reading a lot more. I did say I'm making this a __100k words, didn't I? I'm afraid I'm not one to write quickly, though._

 _To **Guest(2)** : Patience, please. You'll see. And no, it's a RL AU so neither of the characters will be having any powers. They're just humans here, just that Sakura is super intelligent and a great doctor and Sasuke, well, I was about to fill people up on that later but you opened the subject. He is a sniper, having an outrageous eyesight *cough* Uchiha *cough* and is an incredibly skillful shooter, which is why he's a first lieutenant. (I have a thing for snipers, lol) Hope that answers the questions but I won't be spoiling anymore, sorry. _

_To **Misaki Murakami** : First of all, I'm in love with your profile pic. Second, thanks for leaving a review. Third, thanks for being interested, I'll try my best to update as fast as I can. _


	4. Wasted Minutes

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of the characters in it.**

* * *

 **IV.**

 **\- Wasted Minutes -**

Perhaps to a side observer, it looked like that particular point in the ceiling was randomly chosen from her in the last two hours. In fact, it wasn't random at all, it was a dark spot that bothered her way too much than it should've. A small circle that ruined the flawless gray paint, almost unnoticeable but still there, like a drop of ink on a sheet of paper. It frustrated her that she had never noticed it before but now she regretted knowing of its existence. Now, it irritated her because it dragged her attention without her wanting it to.

She tore her gaze away from it, reaching for her phone on the bedside cabinet.

7:13. Way too early to get up.

Her eyelids felt heavy and her mind heavier. How do you acquire the mindset of a suicide? This kind deep of depression is layered. It's not something that can be cured as one cured a cold. It's not something you could wait so that it fixes on its own with time. Time, in this case, only worsened, opening the wound with every lonely hour.

Sakura remembered when they talked about suicidal behavior in her class. The reasons for one to act like that were various. Loneliness, helplessness, elders often committed suicide because they saw themselves as a burden. She had never waded, fortunately, that deep in the waters of depression, although she had some awful nights too. It has always been important to her to try and imagine herself in the place of her patient in order to find ways to help and feel their pain. That tired her out quickly but it always worked.

Bad thing was, she was emotional and could never bring herself to be impartial. The fear of losing a patient's life because of a mistake still hanged as a threat. Perhaps with every death, she would grow more indifferent and passive. For all this time not a single patient of hers had died by now. She wasn't sure she was ready for the blow _now._

Witnessing death was another question. She had witnessed both dying people and dead. It always left her with a mix of shock, sadness and sometimes anger that she could do nothing about it. Witnessing the death of a close one was something entirely different and she could not imagine it. The very attempt to recreate the emotion almost brought her to tears. Which led her to the question, why wouldn't she want to commit suicide if she had both witnessed death and lost a close one? There was no surprise in that behavior. Moreover, soldiers of any kind tend to have suicidal behavior and it wasn't unexpected.

The greatest suicide trigger was remaining all alone and isolated from others. And that was exactly what he was, at the moment. Because she didn't oppose.

Sakura uncovered from the sheets angrily. The what if's returned, carving her already corroded with doubt mind.

 _What if I had stopped him there?_

She scoffed, going to the bathroom. Yeah, so what? They were going to strap him down to a bed and watch as he dies slowly, refusing medical care. Madness.

 _What if it's all my fault?_

What if he wasn't sure what to do in that moment? Her cooperation only incited him to go.

No, that was fully his decision. There was an ultimatum. If she had not played by his rules, she was probably going to end up hurt. Was the lack of opposition making her weak? And selfish? Doctors usually placed the patient in the first place, then thought about themselves.

Alarms of an ambulance and police cars ceased her line of thought and she stepped to the window, absently searching for them. She saw only the last police car off the line before it disappeared around the corner. That sound was so well-known that she didn't even have it in her dreams anymore, used to hearing it a couple of times a day. Most of the calls were a false alarm but nevertheless, it dragged her attention because it was unpleasantly connected with the matters she currently discussed with herself.

Was that ambulance for him? The chances were small but it wasn't impossible. She leaned on the tiled wall and a shiver ran down her spine. Being only with her loose t-shirt, Sakura felt that the coldness had already started crawling beneath her skin.

Awake for three hours now and she still had no idea what to do. Surely the time progressed and she had to get ready for work. She brushed her teeth and brushed her hair, averting her eyes from the mirror, finding it hard look into it. Waking up every day to that color was in the list of secondary issues in her life at the moment.

Uchiha? She was sure she had heard the name before. Somewhere in the news? It sounded familiar, a name she had heard many times but had paid no mind to it. Sakura put her jeans and a thin sweater, reaching for her phone and keys and putting them in her bag.

A sudden thought crossed her mind and she froze.

But, of course.

How did she not think of that earlier? She took her umbrella and dashed out of the apartment.

* * *

"Migaki?" Sakura was out of breath, running for most of the on her way to the hospital.

She shook off the raindrops off her umbrella and unfolded it. The dark clouds that hung over the city for days finally poured down, wetting the dusty streets.

"Sakura, are you alright?" The older man looked up at her, confused at her reddened from the cold face.

Her relationship with Migaki was still a wonder to her. They were strangely close as if he was the uncle she never had. He worked in the hospital for more than seven years now and during her years of work she could always find support and help, whenever she needed to. Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that he never had children but his fondness for her was unquestionable, which was why she sought his help when in trouble.

This time he could prove himself even more useful than usual because what she needed was within his reach.

"I'm fine. I'm having a bit of a problem and I think you can help. We always write down a statistic about our patients, right? Dates and hours of arrival and discharging, names, addresses, social security numbers?"

"I believe we do. There is a data book for every month." The man replied, in confused. "Why?"

"I need to see the notes."

"Just a second." Migaki reached for a shelf to his right and looked through the piled up papers. "Do you search for a name in particular?"

"Yes. Uchiha Sasuke."

"We receive a lot of patients..." Migaki pondered, still searching. "Are you sure you can't give me anything more?"

"You know what, give me the documents from the last week. I'll find it."

"The whole week?"

"Yes."

Migaki pulled out a heavy ream of sheets and placed it before her.

"Enjoy."

"Thank you." Sakura nodded and put on her glasses, impatient to leaf them over.

She skipped through Monday and Tuesday and her forefinger started tracing down the names under Wednesday - the day the soldiers arrived. It nailed on one of the rows and shifted on the right.

"You are awfully pale. You're not ill, aren't you?" Migaki kept looking down at his notes, trying to sound as casual as he could. That he was concerned was fully transparent, though.

"Mm..." Sakura let out a sound, absently. "Don't worry, I'm ok."

A faint, triumphant smile appeared on her lips as she drew out her small writing-pad and copied the words from the list.

"Who said I'm worried?"

His even intonation made her laugh.

"Migaki, you're constantly worried about me." She paused, giving out a half smile. "That's all I needed, thank you again."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are." Sakura raised her eyes to him, tearing away the leaflet from her notebook and tucked it in the inner pocket of her coat. "If you weren't so busy worrying about me, you would've noticed that Shizune comes here to leave the reports on her own every single night when she could ask anyone from the nurses to do it. See you later."

Sakura bit her lower lip as she quickly paced away, certain that he had frozen in place with the sudden realization. Someone had to tell him, eventually. It was getting ridiculous.

She returned to the locker room but didn't find her there so she turned down the corridor in a search for her figure. She _always_ came in time, so there was no way she wouldn't find her-

"Sakura," Shizune called from behind. "You're here early."

"Ah, yes." Sakura startled, facing her right away.

They stood still in a few seconds of awkward silence before Shizune tilted her head.

"There's a runaway." She started, slowly. "Assigned to you on Wednesday. We searched the Hospital and asked if anyone had seen him leave on Friday night. Anything you know about that? You're the only one left. That I haven't asked, that is."

In this case, having her neglecting her duty as a doctor weighed much more than the fact that her life had been threatened. Her actions could lead to the hospital's downfall, her career's downfall and overall if anyone of the authorities knew she was responsible for that soldier's death, her life's downfall too. On the other side, higher instances were on his side and that meant any of the excuses she could come up with were only going to be used against her.

"That's the first time I heard about it." Sakura furrowed, authentic confusion written upon her face.

"And as far as I know, he had refused treatment before leaving."

"Yes, that's right."

Shizune shook her head.

"These soldiers think themselves invincible and the worst thing is that might be the truth. If something happens to them, we'll be to blame. Tsunade is trying to find a loophole in the law that might be used in our defense."

"What about the soldier? Is no one going to take his actions into consideration?"

"Of course not. These boys and girls have a special position which means immunity."

"So we're screwed up," Sakura concluded.

"Absolutely." Shizune sighed heavily. "We'll see what we can do. There's still a chance for us to survive. "

"I hope we do."

"I'll be going." Shizune made a few steps back but Sakura didn't move. "What is it?"

"Is it going to be a problem if I leave earlier than usual today?" Sakura's hands intertwined behind her back, her intonation most innocent.

"Why?"

"I need to do something..." Sakura explained slowly.

"Important?"

"Uh, yes."

Shizune scanned her from head to toe.

"Personal business." Sakura hastened to add.

"Well... I don't see why not. You always work overtime, I guess it won't be an issue if you leave early once."

"Thank you very much." Sakura nodded and smiled.

"It's nothing." Shizune backed away but stopped again as if remembering something.

Sakura tensed again, her hands already sweating from the moment Shizune used the phrase _You're the only one left._

"About your report... It's good you delay that for now. Waiting is all we can do in a situation like this. Who knows, there might be a change of heart in that patient of yours. Pain does some wonders, he might be back sometime soon."

With these words, Shizune left her presence.

 _But ...it's different with this one._

Sakura sаnk in thought.

He made the choice himself, to suffer. There was one thing that particularly transfixed her when she laid eyes on that man for the first time. He stood still and silent, without a single nerve moving in his body although the wound suggested severe pain. She had seen nothing like that for all of her years of work. Usually, only half of her time was spent on actual medical care, the other half was appeasement. An action that included her, persuading the patient everything is going to be fine and distracting him from the pain with purposefully asked questions.

True, she had never had patients that were bought directly from the battlefield but his behavior was rather odd. It was human and within the normal range of reactions to reflect the pain in _some_ way. It was well-known that soldiers had discipline, restricting them to show any external outbursts. That man, however, looked like he had never left the battlefield. Intentional or not, he demonstrated not only determination but austerity of the highest rank. If there has ever been something she was sure of in her life, it was that he's _not_ coming back.

* * *

The hours drifted slowly and as much as Sakura had a hard time passing through them, Ino and her new friend just didn't allow her a moment in peace. Having them following her around was both a curse and a blessing. Their constant presentation of kisses and exchange of compliments sounded like a poorly written chick-lit but at least their company livened her up. Not that she needed a distraction while working. It was just that her thoughts were going to suffocate her, if she found herself spending more than a minute on her own and that's why she welcomed the distraction of Ino's cheerful babble, alternating with Sai's rare interventions that offered a bit of a change in her tone.

The day in the hospital was overall quiet, perhaps the bicker of the rain outside had something to do with it. In a couple of minutes when Sai was out of their range of vision, Ino swore to her that she and Sai wouldn't tell anyone about the second lieutenant's act of sharing classified information and they promised to keep it a secret. Sakura made sure no one knew about what happened when she visited Naruto for the second time, using the visit to check him up and she was glad to know that his health was improving. Fortunately, Ino let her know that the rest of the group was doing great, too.

Sakura spent the rest of the work hours accepting patients in her cabinet, as she usually did if there wasn't anyone with more severe injuries assigned to her.

The clock hit four and she decided to leave, the anticipation already draining her. Her nerves were tensed the whole day but now the uneasiness was tangible. After the last patient left her cabinet with gratitude, Sakura began to tidy up her desk, gathering the sheets in front of her to tap them together. She leaned down, reaching the second shelf of the desk. Her hand stopped in mid-air with the sight of a particular prescription bottle in the corner.

Sakura left the sheets in but took the bottle, closing afterward.

Her eyes ran through the warnings on the white label absently and a furrow appeared on her brows. She glanced through the window for a moment, the rain had stopped but the drops from the roof still drummed on the metallic ledge.

Not wasting another second, Sakura stood up and went straight to the locker room, hiding the pills in her pocket.

* * *

She was wrong, it still drizzled outside but it didn't bother her. Leaving the hospital early was the easy part, now for the hard one. The address she got in the morning, she had no clue where to start looking. Konoha was a large city and she only knew two, maximum three districts and, honestly, knew them rather poorly. With all these restrictions and a complete lack of free time, she wasn't one to stride the city streets carelessly. If she went out for a walk, it was with a group of people but that became a rare activity anyway, now, when the weather was cold.

"Excuse me, miss. We'll stop you right there." A firm voice ceased her trail of thoughts and she raised her head up, taken aback by the sudden presence.

Two armed policemen had intercepted her way and now waited for her answer. Raw, pale faces, the impenetrable tone ascertained her that in their eyes she, as well as anyone that stood in their way, was a potential criminal until a real proof refuted that accusation.

"I am a doctor." She announced, at last.

"Identity documents, please." The other man said, mechanically.

Sakura rummaged in her bag until she found her ID and business card, with the hospital's logo her names and phone number.

"The work time ends in an hour. What are you doing outside..." The first one read through the cards for a moment. "Dr. Haruno? You seemed distracted."

"I have permission to leave work early."

"And what's the reason?"

"A person is in need of immediate medical attention. I was just going their way."

"Oh, so that was the hurry about."

"Yes."

Sakura felt that they didn't trust her fully but she decided to remain silent while they were thinking. The first police officer handed the cards to the other, glancing at him.

"Mind if we... escort you to the place? You know, just to make sure you're not planning anything funny or someone doesn't hurt you on your way."

Sakura furrowed, slightly taken aback by the offer.

"O-Of course, not a problem."

"Where are you headed to?"

Sakura put her hand in the inner pocket of her coat but the man in her right gripped her hand, forcing her to freeze in place.

"Whoa, whoa, what are you doing?"

"This is just a piece of paper." Sakura almost exclaimed, astounded at their lack of trust.

The man hesitated but eventually loosened his hold on her and she pulled out the note, showing it to him.

"I will be honest..." Sakura murmured and they looked at her in expectancy. "I don't know where that is, exactly. I planned on asking passers-by as I go."

"I see." The man on the right said absently, his gaze nailed in the note. "That's five blocks from here."

"We better hurry, if it's really an emergency, as you say."

"Thank you for your help." Sakura managed to say, smoothing back her hair inconveniently. "I'm obliged."

"We take care of the well-being of the citizens of this city as you do. It's only a matter of duty."

Sakura let out a deep but quiet sigh as the three of them marched forward. The whole atmosphere was ridiculously exaggerated. If she didn't know they suspected she had criminal intentions (which she assumed was aroused by the color of her hair, in her opinion during a war one would dye their hair pink only in two cases: the person is a rebel or part of a rebellious gang _or_ has mental aberrations) she would've felt special with all this attention.

"A doctor on call, huh?" One of the policemen asked, turning to return the cards to their owner.

Sakura slid them into the pocket of her trousers absently.

"When it's necessary, yes."

"You do understand, doctor, that walking all alone in the rain at that unusual hour isn't recommended." The officer glanced back at her.

"I fully understand that." Sakura kept on with the even intonation.

"And what's with the hair?" The other one asked, slightly caustic.

"Degradation of melanin, officer. Caused by a bioweapon. It can't be reversed or cured, I have tried."

Sakura feared that her voice sounded way too severe and the officers could think it's a threat of some kind. They didn't reply in one long minute. The only sound remained their steps on the wet, at places muddy, ground. She wondered if they didn't consider taking her into custody. Doing that meant she would waste at least a day or two there. It was a chain reaction, a domino. If he died, everything would crumble down. Every minute was important. Every minute away from him... was a wasted one.

Sakura raised her eyes in surprise. The sentence echoed in her mind, its ambiguity strikingly vivid. She did that for the sake of the hospital and for the sake of everyone's careers and lives in it. It was so easy... all she had to do was persuade him to save his own life because his life was the single, thin thread everything was holding on to.

No... good God. A person's life did not equal a career or some institution's future. She would never lower the value of a life. Under no circumstances was she to compare his life with all these things, that would drive him back. Mentioning how important was that he makes the right decision was out of the question.

Then, how?

How to change his mind without doing any harm?

"Here it is, the second one on the left. It's a rich man's quarter." The officer on her right announced, folding hands.

"Ain't that the late boss' house? Heard he has a property here, in that part of the city." The other furrowed, watching at the solid-built house.

"Ehh, not sure... The one who was assassinated with his wife, in their car?"

"Yeah. How was it?"

"Uchiha?"

"That one."

Sakura raised a brow. Late boss? Who were these Uchiha exactly? She could swear she had heard the name but couldn't really remember what was it linked to. To the police, most likely but he must've been a VIP, judging from the way his home looked like. Anyway, her attention was drawn to the house. Whoever these Uchiha were, they were surely quite wealthy.

The black iron fence surrounded the spacious courtyard of the house or she'd rather call it an _estate._ Seemingly there has been a garden previously but now everything withered as if neglected for years, even the windows appeared dusty. Overall, the air around it was pompous - cream paint harmonically fit the beige framed windows and a wide veranda, a level above the ground. The few stairs led to the front door - wooden, with fancy incrustations and a bell.

The officer on her right let out a hiss.

"Thought no one lived in that house anymore."

"I thought so too. Wait a minute..." The officer stepped in front of Sakura and she leaned back, surprised. "That story of yours, I'm not really buying it. If I were walking all alone in the rain, in that hour, with that address in my pocket, I would positively be on my way to rob that house. Does that sound a familiar plan to you?"

"I showed you a business card, I really am a doctor."

"Could be fake. I'm almost sure it is."

Sakura stood still, her mind forcing in order to find an escape. She was too close to give up.

"Officer, there is a person in need of help in there. Your late boss did have two sons, didn't he?"

The man was taken aback, glancing to his colleague for a moment.

"I guess. What about it?"

"You must read the news... The Elite Forces? They are currently residing in Konoha." Sakura felt that her facts had more weight but she had to lie this time. It was for the greater good. "I've been sent to help a soldier. His name is Uchiha Sasuke and he might be dying as we speak. So if you please, officer, let me go."

The man narrowed eyes, estimating her in one long pause but eventually gave up, shifting away.

"If what you say is the truth and there is really someone that inhabits that place, you'll come back through the front door."

Sakura furrowed.

"We'll be waiting for you if you don't mind. Doctor." The other spoke, evenly.

"As you wish." Sakura sighed and paced ahead.

She pushed open the iron fence and entered, slowing down a bit.

Armed with a task of such importance, she feared the truth was, she had no plan of action. Still, she barely knew what kind of a person her patient is. All she knew of him was from the point of view of the ones who knew him closely and their opinion of him was not... positive. If he was as morbid as that time she encountered him, the others' judgments wouldn't surprise her. Although such behavior was only natural for one with a hole in his skin.

Sakura took the four steps to the porch and stopped in front of the door, reaching for the bell. It rang out and it was her turn to wait, hands in her pockets.

Sure, he wouldn't be _that_ bad.

The door opened and before she could react a hand pulled her harshly in, bashing her body to the wall next to it. After the door slammed shut, it became pitch black. Sakura didn't dare move or breathe, a feeling of something cold and metallic against the side of her neck stopped her from doing so. A barrel of a gun.

He exhaled slowly. It was so quiet that she heard the sound clearly.

"I-" Sakura spoke out but the click of a lowered hammer silenced her.

Her heart started pounding vigorously against her chest and she was sure the shattered doses of oxygen she inhaled were giving her out. Fear haunted every thought she could come up with and it seemed like she sunk deeper and deeper in the impasse she made herself.

"Thought you'd come." Sasuke spouted, head slightly tilting.

A long pause followed in which neither of them spoke or moved. Being at a gun's point had some serious effects, one of which was striking a balance between what you've done with your life and what you could've done if you had more time. Flashes of regrets and things left unsaid or unfinished. Sakura had a hard time believing her life could end right now but one never knows.

"Was I not clear enough when I said I'd kill you if you call someone? Or you think I was bluffing?"

"Listen to me-"

"Police officers? Really? It would take at least a dozen to take me down."

"They're not here for you," Sakura explained with a trembling voice.

She furrowed, not able to discern anything more than a silhouette while he remained silent, after her remark.

"They think I'm here to rob the house." She continued, proving him wrong.

"And I thought Naruto was the dumbest person on Earth," Sasuke noted, exasperated. "Well, good for them."

Sakura slowly took a breath and exhaled, in an attempt to calm herself down.

"Bright light causes you headaches." Her words came out involuntarily. "That's why you keep it dark in here."

"Shut your mouth." Sasuke snapped angrily, making Sakura flinch.

She hesitated for a moment, her hand had slipped into her pocket in the meantime. If he had decided to die, after all, she could at least give him the pills... At least that was what she thought until her hand touched something else.

Sasuke sensed the movement and pressed the gun to her skin. Sakura closed her eyes for one still second but didn't give up, her hand already pulling out the card. He switched the hold of the gun to his right hand, using the left to twist hers behind her back.

"I can break bones, too."

Perhaps the years of training and weightlifting helped her here, perhaps it was just the adrenaline but she managed to wrest her arm from his fairly easy and raised the card to the level of their faces in an instant. The gun was still pointed at her throat when she swallowed again, realizing that her mouth has become dry.

"Take it. Please." She whispered, deciding it was a good choice since their faces were close enough for her to feel his breath on her skin.

Sasuke took the card from her slowly, his gaze still steadily fixed on her.

"Take these two idiots," He leaned in, closer to her ear. "...and get off my sight."

He backed off, clicking the door open, whereat she stepped outside as fast as she could. It slammed behind her with such ferocity that she blenched.

Sakura turned around, her eyes rested on the handle for one long moment, without blinking.

Alright. Maybe he was _that_ bad, after all.

* * *

 _A/N: Thanks for reading, guys! Thanks to all who joined in, too. Glad to have you. I think that if I could write a single scene that would sum up SasuSaku, that would be the last one here, in this chapter. Will be seeing you in chapter 5 with a bit of InoSai and a bit of terrified Sakura._

* * *

 _Thanks for the review,_ _ **The Orchestra Dork.**_ _Surviving him, yes. Convincing him, not so much._

 _ **Guest(1)**_ _, he is dead, unfortunately. Trust me, I love him so much that I revived him and created an OC just so that he can be happy. But_ _ **Morphine**_ _will focus on SasuSaku. As for Sakura... you'll see for yourself._

 _Big Thank you to_ _ **Sinners lover**_ _for writing me a constructive critique. I think I really didn't describe the tense atmosphere enough and everyone nearly forgot its wartime and I'm grateful to you for pointing it out. Hope that chapter has more of that feeling of oppression. As for the characters, I try my best. I'll look forward to hearing what you think of that chapter. Did I make it?_


	5. Voices

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in it.**

* * *

 **V.**

 **\- Voices -**

"Sakura, stop being a lazy ass and get up. I need help." Ino scolded from the other side of the room.

Yamanaka's household was a cozy place with small rooms, perhaps too small because before Ino was born her parents decided to break down the walls to three of them, creating a spacious mixture of a living room, dining room, and a kitchen. The laminated floor added a tinge of refinement and everyone that has been a guest to the Yamanaka family has felt the warm atmosphere and the constant floral scent that was up in the air. Until the death of Ino's father, of course. Ino and her mother didn't place a single flower anywhere in their house since then.

And that was the surprising part for Sakura because now the scent of wood intermingled with the one of the clematis and the winter jasmine. The flowers rested in a glass vase not far from her as she had leaned her head on the hard surface of the table, eyes closed and almost... dreaming. She inhaled and exhaled slowly.

"Forehead. Wake up!" Ino went to her and clapped loudly. "What do you think you're doing, falling asleep on my table?"

"I..." Sakura mumbled, still sleepy.

"Get. Up. You promised to help me with the dinner."

"I know."

Sakura moaned, slightly heaving up.

"You look disastrous." Ino was terrified of the view.

Sakura's hair was disheveled and the bags under her eyes were a visible bluish nuance. She narrowed eyes.

"Did I fall asleep again?"

"Yes, you did."

"Sorry."

"You're repeating yourself." Ino sat next to her, pausing a bit. "Are you ill?"

"No, just... uh, it's complicated." Sakura rubbed her eyes. "I'm going to the bathroom, ok? I'll help you when I come back. Promise."

Ino raised a brow, following her friend with eyes as she stood up and left the room, faltering.

Sakura leaned back on the door and it closed with a click. She stood still but the silence was dense and intrusive, and she hated it. It allowed her doubts to emerge and start accusing her of being careless and naive. Their voice was almost heard and their image almost seen through the looking-glass in front of her. A matrix, a shade with her form that spoke with her voice and took advantage of her, having full knowledge of her thoughts and fears.

Usually, it scolded her that everything happened because of her easily-bend will and soft nature. Or admonished her for an upcoming danger.

 _These obsessive thoughts will be the death of you,_ resounded within her head.

But she did what everyone would, trying to fix the problem. Doing everything in her power to preserve a life. What was so wrong with that?

Sakura went to the sink and washed her face with cold water, brushing her hair backward.

"You want an aspirin or something?" She heard Ino's muffled voice from outside as she wiped her face with the small towel in her right.

"That'd be great," Sakura replied loudly, hurrying to leave the room, moving to the kitchen side.

It felt as if her own reflection haunted her, judging everything she did and everything she thought of.

"Here, have this." Ino handed her a glass of water and a white pill. "Will help you to not fall asleep for the better part of the evening."

"Thanks." Sakura swallowed the pill and waited a few seconds until finally coming to her senses. "What are we cooking, again?"

"Cheese Spaetzle."

"Tofu?" Sakura noticed the suspiciously looking white block in one of the small plates on the countertop.

"Yeah. Sai loves it. " Ino fixed her rolled up sleeves and took on with cutting onion rings and checking on the boiling noodles. "You can crumb the cashews for the sauce."

"On it." Sakura washed her glass and grabbed another cutting board. "Can I ask a question?"

"Why am I cooking for someone whom I met a week ago?" Ino forestalled, glancing up at her.

"Not your style."

"I had a little talk with Tenten when you were with your parents. Remember her?"

"Yeah." Sakura pressed her knife on the nuts, cracking them into small pieces.

"She told about how they've acquired Sai in the group." Ino paused, her voice becoming quieter. "He's actually their newest addition."

She remained silent and Sakura raised a brow. Ino has never been so... careful. Usually, she'd either brag about her newest boyfriend or joke about the last one she had ditched, for weeks. Now, she took a sharp breath, wiping the corner of her eye inconveniently.

"You alright?" Sakura leaned, trying to get a better view of her friend's face.

"Ah, yes." Ino forced a laughter. "I hate cutting onion."

Sakura chose to play dumb and looked down to her knife.

"I assume he's an orphan. Like most of them."

"She said that they've found him brainwashed. That until this day he doesn't know his real name, whether he has a family or where he's coming from."

Sakura glanced at Ino for a moment.

"She said he barely spoke at the beginning. Anyway, it seems there's a permanent damage to the brain because it took him a while to recreate emotions again. She warned me to ignore some of his remarks too."

"I see. That thing he said to me at the hospital..."

"It's not," Ino ceased her sentence, defensively. "like he has no filter. It's rather a lack of understanding."

"You're telling me he's a sociopath?" Sakura asked, a ghost of a smile upon her lips. "Ino, in love with a sociopath. Didn't see that coming."

"Don't say it like it's wrong." Ino slightly blushed.

"It is."

"He just needs time."

"And you have the nerves?"

"I think I do." Ino poured out the water from the noodle pot. "I don't know what happened to me, really. It's hilarious, he makes up all these compliments, without meaning them most of the times, just to see my reaction."

"You two are _weird_." Sakura laughed. "By the way, where's your mother?"

"She's probably in the shop, dressing the shop-windows. Or rather cleaning them. She did say she'll be late today."

"Shame that I might not be able to see her, then. Send my regards."

"I will."

They both heard the front door opening and Ino dashed out of the room at lightning speed. Sakura stepped back so that she could have a good view of the corridor, a smile appearing on her lips as she witnessed Ino almost bumping into Sai, her hands on his neck.

"What took you so long?" Ino squeezed him, standing on her tiptoes.

"Had some problems with an old lady," Sai announced, reacting unnaturally passive at her affectionate hug.

"Seriously?" Ino snorted, turning to look into his eyes. "What'd you do? Beat her up? Or she beat you up?"

"She tried to jump the queue and get ahead but I didn't let her."

"What?" Ino burst out laughing. "I assume everyone else did."

"Yes."

"You're adorable." She mumbled and leaned in, their noses touching.

 _That way of thinking led you to this self-destructive behavior._

Sakura startled, the sentence echoing in her ears as if whispered. That voice again. And that subject. _Again._ She thought she had escaped it, occupying her mind with other things but no, it still lingered inside of her and spread like a disease, giving her no peace.

What is that supposed to mean anyway? She only wanted to help. She waited and waited, staying awake and vigilant throughout the whole night because... she knew he did the same. That wasn't self-destructive behavior, it was empathy. He had her number for twenty hours now and if he had decided to change his mind, her number was the shortcut to proclaim it. Needless to say, there was no call from him since she gave him her business card yesterday.

Sakura averted her gaze from Ino and Sai as if stung and returned to making the cheese sauce.

Was it really empathy? It actually looked more like insanity, dressed up as empathy. Going so far for a patient... she had never done such a thing. Risking her life twice within five days was completely new to her.

 _Look what you're doing to yourself. It's becoming pathetic._

She raised her eyes to the reflection on the dim glass that covered all of the kitchen shelves. She stared at the one that hung on her level. The shadow she cast only deepened the dark circles under her eyes and her skin looked unnaturally pale. It didn't matter... because she didn't care, not at all. Her eyes dropped down, brows wrinkling. If he suffered, she would too. How else was she to feel the same, understand the darkness he seemed to be used to? It didn't mean she had to become like him, it meant that in order to find the answers she had to... get a taste.

"Come over and sit. We're almost ready with the dinner."

Ino pushed him to a chair and forced him to sit there, which was a rather amusing sight. Sakura observed them in the reflection of the glass.

 _Where's your dignity? You can't save everyone and you know it._

Sakura put the cashew in a cup and put the almond milk in it.

What, then? If everyone thought about saving only themselves where would the world be now? Dead and gone, for sure. If the cause was noble, why not sacrifice in its name? Problem was, she had a lot to lose and a lot she held dear to just jump in to fight on the front line.

"Are you done?" Ino snapped her out of her reverie, hinting at the mixture in the cup in front of them.

"Just a second." Sakura murmured, rummaging in the shelves for a certain kitchen herb.

"Hello, punk." Sai greeted in his turn and she turned around, her face almost twisted into a grimace of anger and her hands squeezing the countertop to the point of breaking when Ino touched her shoulder as if involuntarily.

"Pass me the pepper."

Sakura looked at her for a second, getting the message.

"Hello." A tormented reply wrested out of Sakura. "Nice to see you again."

Not before giving the pepper to Ino, she returned to her previous activity and soon found the Curcuma, painting her white sauce in a rich orange. Ino took care of the rest and pushed her out of the kitchen corner.

"So. Sai, right?" Sakura intertwined her hands together as she sat beside him on the table.

The aroma of the flowers was still strong but now that Ino's specialty was in the oven the air became heavy with all the ingredients' extra touch.

"As far as I know, yes." He gave her a wide smile but the sensation was, mildly said, horrific because the smile was perfect but his eyes remained the same cold stone as before.

Sakura nodded slowly.

"Alright." She paused, forcing herself to continue what seemed to be something strangely close to a conversation. "You two get along, I see."

"Eh," Ino intervened with a sigh. "If you say so."

Sai had fixed his eyes on Ino, giving the impression that he wasn't blinking at all.

"Is it tough, being a soldier?" Sakura gathered the courage to speak again.

"Depends on the mission." Sai looked back at her. "It's not unbearable. But there are times in which you want to give up on everything. And just go home... if you have one."

Sakura held his gaze for a second before averting.

"I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have asked."

"It's ok. You can ask whatever you want. If Ino trusts you, I will too."

Sakura smiled at him warmly. Finally, someone put her trust in her despite her outer appearance.

"Glad to know that."

 _Leave him alone, leave him alone, leave him alone..._

It stung her, stealing her happiness away in an instant. The phrase repeated over and over again like a broken gramophone record in her mind. Meaning? Leave him to die, is what it said. Leave him to his own stupidity and arrogance. Let them both ravage his body and soul until it's too late for him to reverse it. Everyone had free will and he already decided what to do with his life, isn't it? He had chosen a path and that is where it ended. It had nothing to do with her.

"It's almost ready. Can someone help me put some dishes and cutlery?" Ino announced and Sai stood up, ready to help her. "Sakura, you want some red wine?"

Sakura turned to look at her absently.

"Are you even listening to me, forehead?" Ino raised a brow.

"Yes. I'd love a glass of wine."

As soon as everything was ready, the three of them sat and enjoyed the dinner. Sakura found it easier to keep up with the conversation when it was redirected to arts. Seemed like Sai was a skilled artist although he doesn't remember someone teaching him how to do it. The drawing was a passion for him and it was one of the few things that made him feel somehow useful and an individuality since he had lost his sense of it long ago.

The long conversation didn't mean that she had forgotten, though. That voice haunted her, still, attacking at the moments when she least expected. At the moments she thought she had escaped the problem. But she hadn't, shaking it off was not as simple as shaking the dust from her clothes. The solution her conscience tried to reach on its own and struggled to convince her it was the right one didn't leave her alone.

As much as she wanted an escape from the war starting with the sound of a slammed door, neither alcohol nor distracting conversations helped. One thing bothered her over all the rest.

 _You have no right to intervene._

She... was a doctor. A fact. Intervening in the course of events was what she did. Even if there was such a thing as fate or God, it surely had it all planned out. And maybe she stood in the way of that plan by trying to save a life that should have been lost.

Perhaps she was wrong, in the end.

Perhaps he had... to die.

"You are very beautiful today." Sai turned to Ino and she gave him a meaning look.

"What's wrong? Don't try to appease me, I know what you're doing."

Sai looked down at the table, thinking.

"Don't prepare the tofu that way anymore. It's disgusting."

Sakura waited for Ino to get mad but instead, she laughed out loud.

"I was _just_ thinking the exact same thing."

"You did?" Sai asked, observing her reaction without moving.

"I..." She started, stealing a glance at Sakura who also stood still with the fork in her hand, at a loss how good of an actor Ino has become. "Am a terrible cook. You have to get over it."

"But I loved your spaghetti yesterday." Sai tilted his head. "I can eat spaghetti every day."

Ino suddenly blushed, turning to look at him. It was either because he had a thing for her, Sakura thought, or that was just the way his mind worked but his blunt comments did have a bright side, however impossible that sounded. Whatever he said, whether good or bad, it was hundred percent true because he meant it. Ino's reaction hinted that she had comprehended that and it touched her deeply. Overall, communicating with that man frighteningly much resembled walking through a minefield.

"Be grateful I didn't make a dessert." Ino murmured and this time Sakura was the one to start laughing, soon followed by the two of them. But a strange sound interrupted, calming them down quickly. Sakura's phone was ringing.

She went to the bag she left on the sofa and quickly found it.

"Excuse me." Sakura snapped, rushing out of the room without even bothering to look at Ino or Sai who stood on the table and observed in confusion.

She locked herself in the bathroom, picking up the unknown number as her shoulder leaned against the door. A continuous silence was all she heard at first.

Her eyes went to and fro.

"Are you there?"

There was no reply after a whole minute and it worried her.

"Don't hang up." Sakura pleaded quietly, leaning her head on the door. "Is it bad? Should I come?"

A barely heard puff reached her ears and she furrowed, realizing the ridiculousness of that offer. Perhaps she wasn't in her right mind, after all. After a gun at the neck, the normal reaction was moving to another city. Not a pressing desire to go back to the source of danger, for sure.

He called, though... what a wonder.

But then the conversation ended abruptly and she lowered her phone, staring at it.

What happened in his mind? It's been more than six days, the convulsions must've started. Cyanide practically stops the cells of the body from being able to take up and use oxygen which was critically bad for the brain and the lungs. She had heard cases where the headaches and the dizziness along with the shortness of breath were excessive but that didn't happen all too often, actually, the chest pain was what she feared would cause serious or permanent damage. Unbelievable. What kind of a masochist would do this to himself?

Sakura blew out her cheeks, opening the door sharply.

"Who was it?" Ino sipped from her glass with red wine as she saw her approaching.

Sakura sat slowly, looking down at her plate.

"Oh." Ino placed her glass down, glancing at Sai.

"Is he still determined to die?" Sai asked, chewing on a morsel.

Sakura raised her eyes to him, remaining silent.

"You still chasing after that idiot? Let him be. This world might be better off without him anyway."

Ino nearly choked on her food but all Sakura did was look at him, a feeling of pity filling her as her eyes slightly narrowed.

"And you call yourself an Elite Soldier? People are supposed to trust you with their lives?" She asked, quietly. "Don't answer. Ino," Her eyes shifted to her friend. "I think I want to go home now. Thank you for inviting me, it was a nice change. I'll call you."

"Sakura, wait! We just started." Ino stood up from her chair but her friend was already out of the house.

* * *

Silence. Finally. There was this strange ache in all of her muscles and she assumed it was an autumn fatigue. Or... she had just caught a cold. That day, walking in the rain, she must've triggered something of the sort. At least the symptoms suggested so. Her head hurt for hours now, she was way more tired than she usually was, after work.

Sakura crawled under the soft sheets of her bed and fixed her pillows so that she could read comfortably. With only her bedside reading lamp her apartment appeared cozier than it was, in the daylight. Now... the mess of her clothes and papers wasn't that visible. Goodness, she had to find the time to tidy up a bit. A chaos or not, she was still in love with these two small rooms that represented her life in the past year. She wouldn't give it away for the world.

A deep sigh escaped her lips as she relaxed back and closed her eyes for a moment.

Too tired to read, she concluded and reached for the switch of her lamp, turning it off. The alarm was set, too, so there was nothing she had missed.

Sakura wrapped herself in the sheets and the floral scent of her shampoo filled her nostrils, helping her drift away in a peaceful- Her eyes opened with the startling sound of a police alarm that turned on not far from her apartment, probably a house or two away. The blue and red lights colored her window like a facet. The alarm quickly faded away but it shocked her nevertheless, leaving her heart beating faster.

She exhaled in exasperation and turned her back on the window, attempting to relax anew.

But it wasn't meant for her to sleep that night, apparently, because her phone rang out and she groaned, grabbing it sharply from the bedside cabinet.

"What?" She snapped, picking up.

A second, then another... and another. Nothing.

"Hello?"

Suddenly the lack of response enraged her like never before and she frowned. Calling her in the middle of the night for nothing. Not being able to sleep in the last three days was driving her insane anyway, now this. She heaved up to a sitting position, fed up with everything.

"Listen, I'm tired. I don't care if you're masochistic or just seeking attention, I'm going to tell you this straight. If you die, half of the city is in trouble. So stop it and let me help you. Pick yourself another day to die, alright?"

A moment of silence followed and she almost hung up when he finally spoke, hoarsely.

" _I'll leave the door unlocked."_

That was how the conversation ended, of course. Sakura didn't expect something else.

She relaxed back on her pillow. _Damn_ , took him long enough. She looked at her phone for a second, as if sunk in thought and not after long decided on dialing up another number.

" _I'm sure he didn't mean it,"_ Ino said at the moment when she picked up.

"Leave that aside. I have another favor to ask."

 _"Another?"_ Ino paused. _"Is the outcome worth my sacrifices?"_

"You bet it is. He allowed me to go and see him."

 _"What!? Really? When? Do you plan to go?"_

"Well. It seems I'll have to skip the sleep again. I'm going to the Hospital to steal some bottled oxygen and a needle."

" _You're absolutely mad! Now? It's, like, almost 2 am. I thought you were already asleep. "_

"Who says I'm not?"

 _"Wait for a second! What if he tries to kill you again? You don't know how the cyanide has twisted his mind."_ Ino made a pause. _"You're flying straight into the face of danger."_

"Honestly, Ino... I don't even care anymore." Sakura leaned back to switch the light on and uncovered from the sheets slowly. "I just want to get over with it."

 _"What about your life, forehead?"_ Ino fumed in the speaker.

"That's... another matter."

 _"What about the favor you mentioned?"_

Sakura stopped, completely still for a moment. Then went to her coat and pulled out a note.

"Yes. Should I not come to work tomorrow I'm either dead or... dead." Sakura furrowed. "So make sure you call an ambulance to the address I'll send you."

 _"This is not even funny."_

"Look at it from the bright side. Even if I'm dead, they'll take him back to the hospital by force."

 _"Sakura!"_ Ino marveled but her friend had already hung up.

* * *

 _A/N: Thanks for reading, once again, fellow Earthlings and hope you're having a great day. Here's my latest update and hope you liked it. On this one, I decided to include Inner Sakura but (being in a RL AU) disguised as her conscience, torturing her a bit, questioning her what is right and what wrong and trying to cope with a decision that's somehow against her convictions. There's a majority of SasuSaku in chapter 6, stay tuned._

* * *

 _ **Guest(1)**_ _, you'll have them interact in the next chapter, sorry. Sakura doesn't really know how to play his game yet but is determined to help in the way she can. (Needles. Who doesn't love them?)_

 _ **Guest(2)**_ _, I had to make a pause between their interactions and that's why this chapter exists. You'll have them in the next one._

 _ **The Orchestra Dork,**_ _I've got a serious question for you. How did I not meet you earlier? Finally, I have a musician among my readers. I'm so going to PM you. You're warned. Thanks for the review so much. I'm glad you like my construction of Sakura's mindset. As for Sasuke, apologies, you'll see next time._

 _ **Sinners lover,**_ _first of all, you don't need to apologize that your review is long, that's all an author can want. Thank you for leading me in that setting-building because, honestly, I am bad at it (and I've always loved dialogues more) and I didn't do the thing this time. This chapter's something like a filler but the next one will probably be back on it. As for Sai, hope that chapter cleared up things a bit on his behalf. I made him quite passive-aggressive but I think the readers are gonna like it that way._


	6. Nyctophilia

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in it.**

* * *

 **VI.**

 **\- Nyctophilia -**

Sakura turned off the engine of the car and took a deep breath. She figured walking around on foot at 2 am would instantly turn her into a target for the police for it was doubled through the early hours. The solution was simple - her father's Honda Fit was the perfect vehicle to not get anyone suspicious while driving the streets at such an early hour. Fortunately, he gave it to her a month ago because he bought another car for himself. Sakura wasn't one to love driving but she took the car and parked it front of her apartment in case she needs to get somewhere quickly or just use it for whatever.

It turned out useful, after all. The small car with the neutral gray color didn't get anyone's attention as she drove the small distance between her apartment and the hospital. She tensed at the sight of Shizune's car at the far side of the parking. So she was on a night shift. Great. Bumping into her was the last thing she wished to do right now.

Sakura pulled out the keys and put it in her handbag, leaving the car afterward.

She almost choked with suppressed laughter with the thought of someone observing her from aside. Twice risking her life, at least three times daring to do illegal activities that can put her in jail, lying, performed at its greatest and she didn't feel a drop of remorse. If it wasn't her passion for medicine, surely she would end up in one of these gangs, being so skilled in deception and, as she grew to understand, particularly talented in foul play.

Moving as subtly as she could, her feet led her to the back entrance. The corridors were quiet, much to her relief, and she quickly made her way to the storage facility, pushing the door cautiously. Once she was sure there was no one in there, she took all she needed at lightning speed.

The hydroxocobalamin ampoules were on the shelf with the various vitamins and luckily there were plenty of them but Sakura stopped for a second, thinking of the possibility of someone checking on them afterward. Stealing from the hospital was not the best whim one could come up with, it had its serious consequences. But in an advanced condition like the one she had to treat, one ampoule was not enough and so she took two and prayed no one would notice.

So far so good, she turned to leave the facility at a fast pace but the door opened just before she reached for it. There was no time to hide.

"Sakura." It was Migaki, overly surprised. "What are you doing here?"

"Do you want the truth or should I lie to you?" Sakura surrounded him, peeking outside the door if anyone else was coming.

"Truth." He chose, eyeing her suspiciously. "You're not getting high on painkillers, are you?"

"No!" Sakura exclaimed in a loud whisper. "I'd never."

"Then what are you doing here? Your shift ended long ago."

"Remember the one that escaped without anyone discharging him officially?"

"I doubt anyone in the hospital has forgotten if I have to be honest. We're in a dead-end because of him."

"Exactly. I think I might get us out of this situation."

"How? He refused treatment, didn't he? Going against his will is a double crime, against his rights and against the medical regulations as a whole."

"I know, I know," Sakura replied quickly. "I managed to give him my number should he changes his mind. Don't ask how or why."

"Alright."

"It seems he did change his mind. I'm going to his house."

"Now?" Migaki asked, after a pause.

"Now."

"Are you sure you know what you're doing?"

"Yes. Just don't tell anyone." Sakura stepped back, out of the facility, wearing the expression of a beggar. "The only one that knows everything is Ino."

"As you wish," Migaki replied slowly, his brows furrowing. "Sakura, please be careful."

She knew he wouldn't betray her and that's why their encounter wasn't that big of a deal. Moreover, it was good that someone else except Ino knew of her intentions and future whereabouts, that way she felt safer.

"Thank you. I will." Sakura managed a smile and left the hospital as fast as she could.

* * *

Okay. Nothing went wrong yet but she still had a bad feeling about it. She stopped the car at a safe distance from the house, not wanting to cause a scene or rouse suspicions. Her fingers drummed on the wheel as she looked around for an unwanted presence. The alleys were desolate and silent, which in any other day would alarm her to get in her car and drive back home immediately but today, it was a happy concurrence of circumstances.

She stopped the car at a safe distance from the house, not wanting to cause a scene or rouse suspicions. Her fingers drummed on the wheel as she looked around for an unwanted presence. The alleys were desolate and silent, which in any other day would alarm her to get in her car and drive back home immediately but today, it was a happy concurrence of circumstances.

Slight envy stung her as she got out of the car and walked up the street, chilly wind blowing her way. As she wrapped herself tighter around her coat, thoughts rushed into her mind. The rich always found a way to separate themselves from the others, wartime or not. Nowhere else had she seen such beautiful houses. Even the street lamps in the district were different. Lanterns of black iron formed a path of soft yellow light that sent one back in time. Everything she laid eyes on was refined and nothing like what she was used to seeing in other parts of the city.

Most people barely held it together. Since the war had started the taxes were double. The usual amount, for the state, and the extra amount, for... well, no one really explained that but Sakura knew these funds were most likely used for military programs, weapons and everything the government decided on instead of financing the hospitals and the mutual assistance programs.

All this enraged some groups and forced them to get out of their homes and go against the law, showing everyone that a human can use his rights and take a stand against the ones that stole their money. The same money that went (most of them) for ways and means to stop these groups. That's how the vicious cycle functioned for more than four years now and nothing changed.

On the other side, there were people like the ones that lived in that district. Sure, they also suffered in one way or another but at least the material face of the reality did not create additional worries.

Sakura stopped in front of the Uchiha's house and raised her eyes. A weak light came through one of the windows on the second floor and it somehow eased her a bit. Stepping in was accompanied with the light creak of the gate. As she walked to the front door slowly, she noticed there was a continuation of the garden to the side of the house and behind. It was a huge residence but not exactly welcoming.

She exhaled slowly and opened the door.

As expected, darkness covered everything but soon her eyes adjusted and she was able to discern silhouettes. It was a lobby-like hall, the wainscoting was wooden, as much as she could see. Two corridors led to different parts of the house but what she was interested was right in front of her, the stairs.

Sakura wanted to take her time and examine every spot in the house but reminded herself there was something of greater importance in the moment. Before she could even reach the top, her brows furrowed at the distant sound of а raucous coughing. She followed it through another maze of doors and rooms until finding the source.

It wasn't actually the bedroom that was lit up, it was the bathroom applied to it.

"Oh no..." Sakura kneeled, finding him sitting on the tiled floor, his back on the wall.

He held a cloth in his hands, soaked in blood and it wasn't the most disturbing part of his attire, his shirt had stains too. Discernible, despite the dark color.

Sakura touched his forehead and he recoiled, glaring at her.

"You have to lay down." Sakura pretended to not notice his gaze and especially the message it sent, proceeding to reach for his hand. "I'll help you to get to the bed."

"No need." Sasuke snapped, in a delayed attempt to reject her help but she had already caught his hand.

"No need for your alveolar and nerve cells to slowly die out but they do," Sakura said dryly, offering herself as the support he needed while getting on his feet.

With a lot of struggle from both sides, they managed to find their way to the bed and Sakura took care he laid on it as soon as she could. She knew it was a bad idea to turn the reading light on because it could be too bright but that wasn't a matter of choice now because she needed to see. Thankfully, the light was soft and didn't seem to bother him. What actually bothered her was the look in his eyes, currently fixed on her.

"This..." Sakura said absently as she found one of the ampoules in her bad and dragged the liquid from it with the syringe, sitting on the bed. "May cause you some minor dizziness. But you'll feel better."

She did not require any movements from him and that's why she sat on the bed, pulling his sleeve herself, then slid the needle under his skin.

"Sorry..." Sakura glanced up at him. "But I'd rather have you alive."

Happy to find out she carried some spare patches in her bag, she hurried to apply one to the spot so that it doesn't bleed.

She remained silent for a few seconds, making sure his breathing normalized and relaxed. Her eyes ran over his shoulder, wondering if the bullet wound was better but preferred to leave it for now, hoping to get an opportunity to examine it later. Quite predictable, his body language suggested that her presence was highly unwanted.

"Give me that." She pulled the soaked piece of cloth from his fist and felt the urge to smile at his impenetrable silence, although she didn't. There was something comical about his behavior but he didn't seem to realize it. The whole show he put on just made her smile. Perhaps he was an attention-seeker after all. Bad thing is, you can't hold that act for long when your own body turns against you.

Sakura stood up and went to throw out the cloth along with the ampoule. He could use a little temperature drop, his skin was once again burning and she didn't know how long it has been like that. It's a miracle he still functioned...

She leaned over the sink, breathing out. One or two doses wouldn't cure him completely but at least his life was out of danger now. She did it.

Her eyes raised to the wide looking-glass on her level.

She saved yet another life and was proud of herself. That she needed a permission was completely another matter. Perhaps being suicidal complicated things a bit. You had a really hard time making a decision whether you want to live or not. Something that might seem ridiculously easy for an ordinary person. Some had to actually fight with themselves in order to find a reason to live which was, she imagined... a rather tough battle. Her hand reached for one of the piled up towels next to her and moistened it with ice-cold water.

Why he called was still a mystery to her. He looked so determined to die back then. What happened?

She squeezed the water-soaked towel and returned to him, sitting in her previous place.

"Here." Sakura wearied, leaning in to place it on his forehead but his eyes penetrated right through her and she couldn't help but meet them. _A grave mistake_ , was the thought that ran through her head first because her own body betrayed her, warming up enough to make her feel it all over her face. She froze, forgetting about what she was doing in a split second, his silence cracking every bit of nerve she had left. "What is it?"

"Nothing."

Sakura leaned back, averting her eyes to the handbag before taking it in her lap. There was nothing he could do except rest for now, which meant her work was done.

"I... uh," She looked down, brows wrinkling. "Have to go back home. You should be fine for now. I'll... come tomorrow to give you another dose."

Before even thinking it through, her feet had dragged her away. Perhaps it was too awkward for her to stay and not do anything or it was just that she felt warmer and warmer under his gaze.

"Where do you think you're going?" Sasuke asked, his voice more tired than threatening.

Sakura nailed in place, turning to look at him.

"I-"

"Come back."

Sakura tucked a hair behind her ear, obeying silently. Her hands were squeezing the bag's handles, thoughts messing up like never before. It was because of the early hour, for sure.

"When do you have to be in the hospital?"

Sakura met his eyes, taken aback with the question. But she soon came to her senses and her attention diverted to her watch.

"Four hours and a half."

Sasuke slowly took a breath and exhaled, closing eyes. It seems she gave herself the answer to the main question in her head but there were lots of things that still bothered her. For example-

"Don't stand there like that, you're irritating me."

Sakura made a few steps surrounding the bed, furtively, then with more determination. She left her handbag and slowly climbed over, hands enveloping her legs. It felt way too uncomfortable and intrusive to just sit or lay in someone's bed. Especially if the bed was so... expensive. Dark machоgаny, with sheets and pillows in the color of an old, full-bodied Bordeaux. Everything screamed to her that she didn't belong there. Funny but it repressed her in a way, being besieged by so many expensive objects. Or was it their owner that repressed her?

Her eyes, previously observing the bed, shifted on the man that laid completely still in front of her. Only his chest heaved up and down, indicating that he was alive and breathing. Sakura slightly tilted her head. There was something very captivating in him but she couldn't really understand what. The feeling resembled the one she often had when she was little. Burning desire to touch or see something an authority had told her categorically not to. A poisonous apple that allured with an impeccable appearance. She had been warned about people like that numerous times yet there she was, falling for the trap with every second. The navy blue looked just picturesque on him.

"Quit staring."

Sakura blushed again, looking down immediately. He contained equal amounts of beauty and unscrupulousness, which, she had to admit, аroused mixed feelings. Then again, he probably was nothing like it before losing everyone close to him and that's the reason she couldn't leave, out of curiosity. What was he like when he was not full of hatred and sorrow?

"Do you have any tea herbs around?" She asked and he opened his eyes.

"What for?"

"Tea." Sakura had to bit her lip so that the smile doesn't form on her lips.

Sasuke held his eyes on her in a brief silence.

"I guess."

"Now you only have to tell me how to get to your kitchen." This time she smiled sincerely, amazed by the fact that such magnificent house has always existed in the city she lived in. And she thought her apartment was great.

"What are you smiling for?" He looked away, apparently angered with her facial expressions.

"Oh, nothing." Sakura shrugged and got out of the bed, smoothing her clothes. "It must be tough... living in a castle."

She walked away, feeling the next murderous look of his following her as she crossed the room.

"I'll find it myself, then."

Alright, teasing was the least she needed to do while residing in a house with a professional gunslinger. That was a bit over the top but not completely unneeded. Angering him meant that she had successfully diverted his focus point from the pain.

Sakura went down the stairs, diving into the darkness again. This time, though, she had a notion of where to step.

The kitchen was through the corridor on her right and although groping around for quite some time, she found the switch. It took her around a minute to get used to the view. It was not less than dreamy. Spacious but not too much, a square island-like bar dragged the attention at first but then one found himself holding his breath because the combination of colors was more than pleasing to the eye. Black Emperador marble countertops fitted the white shelves fairly well and the frames were of a material she had never seen before. Perhaps a silver-branch. Likely.

Two lamps hung low from the ceiling, lighting up the stone surface and Sakura just took a second to examine its texture while passing by. How could one focus on cooking when everything looked so fabulous?

She blinked, wresting herself out of her reverie and hurried to find a pot and the herbs she needed. Her movements slowed down once again, at the sight of a wooden box in one of the shelves. It read _Tea_ on it but it looked special in a way, positively hand-made. The letters were written with a pyrographer.

Sakura took it carefully and turned it around. There was a small inscription in the corner.

 _We know you wanted one for years._

 _I. & S. _

After realizing how precious the object in her hands was, her movements became a couple of times more measured. She opened it and found at least twelve types of tea, ordered in different sockets.

It was a very sweet gesture from the brothers, making such a gift to whoever it was the receiver. But judging from the dust all over the box, she assumed it had turned into one of these objects that bring unnecessary memories. People usually tossed away these after a tragic event occurred. Of course... there was a list of certain objects that would turn out hurting you even more if you toss them away. The box, it certainly was on that list.

Anyway, as one that started drinking tea recently, after finding out about all the negative effects the everyday abuse of caffeine had on her, she fell in love with the box and swore to buy herself one in the near future. It wouldn't be that beautiful, for sure, but she still wanted something similar.

Fifteen minutes later, the tea was ready and she headed back to the second floor, switching the light off with the help of her elbow. Truth be told, there was a pain in her heart, having to part with that kitchen. It was a work of art. In fact, the whole house was a work of art.

* * *

Sakura left the cup on the bedside cabinet and proceeded to sit on her previous place.

"Enjoy." She raised her cup as if giving a toast and sipped carefully from the steaming liquid.

Sasuke heaved up to a half-sitting, half-lying position and took the tea but the way he looked at it just made her smile again.

"It's not toxic." She chuckled quietly.

He tasted it, although reluctantly.

"Passionflower," Sasuke spoke absently, looking down. "My mom used to drink Passionflower tea at night."

"Did she have trouble sleeping?" Sakura left her cup in the plate slowly.

"She was an insomniac."

"A nice choice." Sakura decided to go on with the quiet tone he set up. "Passionflower fights some serious diseases. Including insomnia."

"Yeah. It has a calming effect."

The silence extended between them as they sipped from their cups, sunk in thought. Curiosity burned Sakura to ask the countless questions circling inside of her head but she reminded herself to keep it quiet. In her opinion, patience was one of the most underrated virtues. And it seems she had forgotten how to be patient because why else did she feel uncomfortable making such long pauses? As if she had to slow down in order to synchronize with him. Notwithstanding, she didn't mind because the pauses gave her time to think over his words, which, by all means, were carefully premeditated.

She was sure his thoughts were just as overwhelming as everyone else's, just that his rarely transformed into spoken words.

"You came." Sasuke renewed the conversation, making her raise her head in surprise.

The sudden change of subject got her unprepared and she didn't know what to say, at first.

"You called." She replied, with the same dose of ambiguity.

"I don't care..." He started, taking a breath. "About you or your hospital."

Sakura held his eyes for a moment.

"Alright."

"And I don't need to explain anything to you. Are we clear?"

"Yes."

Sakura didn't realize her whole body had tensed until the moment he leaned back on the pillow again and resumed the silence. She felt the urge to leave the house in an instant but her limbs felt numb, the tiredness was bringing her down.

Fortunately, the tea she made herself was black and it was supposed to keep her awake for the next hours. Didn't seem to work so far. As for her tea companion... if people had an aura, his would most definitely be the densest darkness one could possibly imagine. Not the best person to drink tea with. Still, it didn't feel like she had a choice, especially after that imperative _Come back_ she received a while ago.

Sakura turned around and left the cup on the bedside cabinet behind her. That was positively the longest night in her life. As if time itself mocked her, taking the form of a tyrant, slowing down just to enjoy her suffering. The air has become way colder and it made her shrink, pulling her legs closer to herself.

Sasuke followed her example and left his tea aside abruptly.

"Do you want me to see your wound?" Sakura made a timid attempt to continue the conversation but was cut off immediately.

"No."

She nodded and looked down.

Having a conversation with _the wall_ would most definitely be easier.

However... going through all these ridiculous things in the past days wasn't for nothing. And if he thought she'd just flee, frightened of his rapid mood swings or irrelevant death threats, he thought wrong. She wasn't that kind of a person.

Her eyes rose up again, finding a new determination.

Sakura neared him slowly, hoping that the courage she had was enough to get her through another trial. She took off the towel from his forehead and reached to touch it, despite the aggressive vibe he gave out since she the moment she decided to approach without him allowing. His skin was still warm but within the range of normal, which called another thing to her mind.

"There's no way your brain can rejuvenate your cells if you don't sleep." She said matter-of-factly and reached for the additional sheet, folded up at the lower side of the bed.

Pulling it enough to cover most of his body was easier than enduring his stable gaze, silently following her movements. He was so unnaturally still that she assumed it certainly had something to do with the fact he was a soldier. Only they had the ability to be so steady and silent at the same time.

"This is not a lie, it's a fact." She concluded slowly, finally meeting his eyes.

Perhaps it was the deficiency of light or its elusive ways to change perception but Sasuke's features seemed to get a tad softer. Before she could make sure of it, he turned around and switched the light off.

Sakura stood still for a second, heavy confusion clouding up her mind. It was the appropriate moment for her to leave now, wasn't it? The situation was even more frustrating for her because neither of them moved for one long moment. He was the first one to do it, ensconcing into a better position to sleep, seemingly undisturbed by her obvious hesitation.

 _Alright, leaving then._

She turned around in order to find her bag but froze at the sound of his voice, giving the next order. Another side-effect of being a first lieutenant, she assumed.

"You can sleep here." Sasuke murmured in exasperation.

As much as she was bewildered by this remark, Sakura actually hoped he would say it because that black tea didn't work. In fact, her whole body was exhausted and all she could think of was how to lean on something and close her eyes. So that's exactly what she did.

* * *

In the moment her phone's alarm rang out she uncovered and rose up sharply, determined to stop the awful noise as quickly as possible. Fortunately, the alarm had woken up only her. When she narrowed eyes, trying to figure out where she was, the memories returned along with a rapid change of colors on her face.

The faint morning light made its way through the semi-transparent curtains and it was as if everything had acquired a shadow form. Still, it was enough for her to see... Sakura grabbed her bag and coat from the corner of the bed and almost ran out of the room, and down the stairs. She didn't stop or take another breath until hearing the click of her car's door, isolating her from the outer world.

Tired or not, she remembered clearly falling asleep on the other side of the bed. What she did not remember was taking that coat off. Or covering herself with blankets.

* * *

 _A/N: Thanks for reading! And thanks to everyone that joined in recently, you guys are awesome. Goodness, I really hope I won't take a wrong turn and make everything cloying. Although this chapter had a slight beauty-and-the-beast scent. The freaking tension between these two wasn't enough for all these years, now I'm adding up more myself. #masochist. Couldn't help it, it fits the SasuSaku dynamic really well. Tension is the heart of their relationship, in my opinion._

 _There will be more SasuSaku in chapter 7 along with the brief appearance of Karin whom I made a bit of a bitch. I just needed that kind of a figure in the story and it's her that I thought of first. It's probably because I don't like her as much as the others._ _For those of you who are waiting for Kakashi, you guys have a lot more waiting to do because he's arriving not until chapter 11 (or 10; I'll see about that)_

* * *

 _ **RansomNote**_ **,** _thank you for reviewing and being interested. Also, Sai is being Sai but he's great at triggering Sakura, which was the important thing._

 _ **Guest(1),**_ _I'm glad you like it. Hope I'll keep your interest in the future._

 _P.S. Please, tell me if there are mistakes of any kind. I assume there are a lot of them that I don't see. I'll be most grateful and happy to fix them._


	7. Breathe

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in it.**

* * *

 **VII.**

 **\- Breathe -**

"I demand to know what happened," Ino said through clenched teeth.

"If you keep ranting, the guards will come and kick you out of the shop. Pig."

Ino trailed after Sakura in the grocery store and didn't let her have a minute in peace. The lunch break had started a while ago and Sakura decided it's a good time to return to the Uchiha Household because after the shift her eyelids practically closed and her limbs didn't listen to her. The moment when her shift was over, the first thing she thought of was her bed and she was in no shape to help anyone.

Sakura bit her lower lip, Ino's various facial expressions were more than amusing, Observing her friend's behavior throughout the whole morning made her ponder over a subject in particular. She had always believed emotions were a human's strength and weakness at the same time. Once, she laughed on every small tree leaf and danced whenever the wind started blowing, just because happiness wasn't that hard of a task back then.

Was it the war or that happened to everyone who left the haven of childhood? Nothing... filled her with joy anymore. Judging from the ghosts around her, she wasn't the only one feeling that way. Nothing moved her and that was killing her because youth wasn't supposed to look like that. Youth was loud and reckless, and passionate. The best years of her life slipped through her fingers in silence and slumber.

Until last week.

Until she met another ghost that made her question her existence. A certain pair of eyes haunted and worried her like nothing before.

The very downfall of her generation was reflected in this man and as quiet as he was, his presence was like a turmoil. Any natural disaster wouldn't have bothered her as much as he did because he had concluded the same she was about to conclude, maybe not now but far in the future - the remnants of what one would call life weren't enough. The shell of that idea everyone called life had become so thin that one could see it crack. Life was outdated. Life disappeared with the first bullet that was fired four years ago.

Life was a memory. And no one remembered it anymore.

Yet, this man showed up with the strong desire to put an end to his days, convinced that they had nothing to offer him and that exact behavior served as a red light for her. People's hope had reached its limit, if someone in the dawn of his life had crossed the line, preferring death, considering death as a choice. It was a critical state and although she wasn't feeling suicidal, her thoughts led her to a depression over and over again and her hope was almost lost too.

What better kick-start one could have than acquiring a new purpose?

Sakura didn't need a distraction, she needed a new aim. So did everyone else around her. That was enough to wrest her out of her continuous sleepwalking and hollow interactions with the others.

Funny thing to say but seemed like Ino was the best teacher for now. She was just as weary as everyone until she found a way to put her potential in use. Although she treated Sai the way a child would treat their new doll, her intentions were overall good. In fact, Sakura had never seen her so vigorous and opulent, her voice was firmer and there was this determination in her eyes. Taking care of Sai created this new version of her friend, a better version and she wanted to do that with herself too, desperately.

She wanted that same ebullience to light up her own life. But what was her aim, exactly? She didn't have one. Or... at least that's what she thought.

"Why are you with me anyway?" She murmured, leaning in to check the price tag of a counter.

"You haven't said a word since you came this morning. And you have this weird air around you."

"What are you talking about, I'm the same as I was yesterday."

"Go tell these fables to someone else. I'm asking you seriously."

"You gotta stop following me," Sakura said, absently.

"You are not yourself." Ino furrowed and after a pause put her hands in the pockets of her jacket. "So he's gonna die, after all. "

"No." Sakura turned to her in astonishment. "No."

Ino gave her a meaning look.

"Тhe only way to get your attention today, I see."

Sakura didn't hold her gaze for long because heat started rising up to her face and it made her look down. A flash of memory returned to her for a moment. She was usually a light sleeper but it seems not being able to rest for three days in a row had tired her out enough so that she wouldn't reflect anyone taking clothes off of her.

"He's gonna be fine," Sakura drawled. "I think."

"What'd you two do yesterday?"

"Nothing. We... drank tea."

"What?" Ino snorted. "Tea, at 4 am?"

"Y-yeah." Sakura glanced at her.

"Look," Ino recreated a weighing machine with her hands. "Being in love with a sociopath," Her right hand on raised on her eye level, while the left dropped down. "Drinking tea with a psychopath at 4 am."

Sakura couldn't help but crack a smile.

"It was just..."

"Romantic?"

"Necessary." Sakura shot her with a glare. "You remember that hyperactive patient I had a year ago? The one we tried to sit down for a minute so that he can eat his breakfast?"

"We had to sedate him in order to do that."

"Yes. That case is slightly resembling the current one. Only that my patient won't..."

Ino waited for the end of the sentence but Sakura's voice trailed off.

"What?"

Sakura shrugged in helplessness.

"I get the feeling he still thinks he's fighting enemies." Sakura paused. "Had to calm him down with a herb."

"Wow. Brilliant." Ino noted. "And you're going back?"

"That's the plan." Sakura sighed, moving to the cash-desk, where she greeted the woman there with a smile. "Good day."

"What do you need these stuff for?"

"Stop asking questions, Ino." Sakura scolded, proceeding to pay.

* * *

As soon as she got rid of Ino, Sakura made her way to the neighborhood of the rich. With the car. She learned her lesson, moving around with the car created her fewer problems. True, the police still pulled her up but with the sight of her white overall under the coat, they let her go quickly. She parked in her usual place and took both of the bags, hers on her shoulder.

Her eyes were following the cracks in the concrete under her feet, it seems the rain had deepened most of them. It has always been a wonder to her how water could disintegrate even the hardest stone with nothing more than persistence... and time. Anyway, it was an irritating thought. These people gave out piles of money to keep their gardens and fences in a perfect condition but the very pavement beyond them was cracked and unswept.

Sakura set the gate ajar and walked in. She raised her eyes but her figure froze in place, involuntarily stepping back a bit. The surprising appearance got her unprepared and she couldn't decide what to do or whether to move, which ended up in a general confusion.

A red-haired woman walked beside Sasuke, tall and slender. Actually, no, she wasn't tall, it was the heels that gave her the additional height. Sakura's gaze went from her legs up to her head and realized the girl wasn't much taller than herself but the tight amaranthine dress along with the black overcoat created the illusion that she is. Her features were sharpened by the glasses she wore and the slight crimson tinge in her dark eyes but overall her face was attractive.

Sasuke's hand rested on her waist and guided her ahead but his thoughts were elsewhere. And she... she smiled, a confident smile.

Sakura made another step back, her back leaning on the iron behind her. Her confusion only seemed to grow stronger as she started asking herself what was she doing there in the first place. The hydroxocobalamin, yes. But she could come another time.

"See you." Karin's hand slipped over his arm and he nodded, letting her go.

Her bold gait continued, eyes now fixed on Sakura and lips pursed. Her haunting eyes scanned Sakura from head to toe before she opened the gate wider, surrounding her. Sakura blinked at the amount of hostility that look held and for a moment she just stood there without moving, fazed and staring into the air. Perhaps it was better if she comes by sometime after her shift ends, after all. Her body made a circle and stepped out, to the street.

"Haruno," Sasuke called. "Come in."

Sakura turned around, a question in her eyes. Hesitation clouded her thoughts and she couldn't decide.

"I can... come later."

Sasuke didn't reply, going back to the house instead. Sakura opened her mouth but closed it soon after, at a loss. Well... she did come all the way to the house. Wasting fuel and money and nerves. Might as well do her job and leave.

Sakura sighed and closed the gate, pacing slowly to the front door and past it.

Her breath was taken away once again because this time, the rosewood curtains were pulled and the sight was completely different. As she could clearly guess, the mahogany predominated in the furniture of the lobby-hall but the wide windows compensated for the dark atmosphere. Separated in two, the left section of the lobby was taken by a set of upholstered chairs and a table, now touched by the daylight. And in the back towered a wall of full bookshelves. The right section was more simple, a round carpet, two armchairs, and a small table. Even the carefully encrusted frame of the fireplace wasn't as eye-riveting as the big gobelin-tapestry hanging above it.

Sakura slightly tilted her head. The artwork was exceptional and created the impression of something really old. In fact, Sakura was almost certain that it was the oldest object in the house. Seemed like the illustration was a family crest - a fan of two parts, red and white, on a black background.

The most delightful detail from all was the chandelier above her head, imposing but elegant.

Sakura tore her gaze away from it as she reminded herself that staring like that for more than a few minutes would be considered a lack of manners. Once she gave up on the observation her eyes fell on Sasuke who was now standing with his hands in his pockets, watching her.

"Decided to steal something, after all?" He asked evenly.

Sakura furrowed.

"I came to leave you these." She defended herself, puffing up her chest. "I'll leave them in the kitchen."

"Is that food?" Sasuke raised a brow.

"Yes." Sakura headed straight ahead, through the corridor. "You'll have to eat certain things. We usually give the patients all the vitamins and additional food supplements at the hospital but..."

She didn't finish, already placing the bag on one of the counters and taking out the purchases. It was dark but one could see fairly well due to the dim light, coming from the window on the far end.

"You can't just take full doses of a medicine and not eat anything." Sakura murmured but the sound of a sparkling lighter dragged her attention and she turned around in disbelief.

Sasuke had leaned on the countertop against her and the cigar's head glowed red between his fingers. Sakura was astounded but didn't dare say anything while he slowly breathed out a puff of smoke. His eyes weren't even on her. Easily noticeable, he thought about something and whatever it was, it wasn't in the room.

Hands folding, Sakura furrowed at him and his negligent demeanor.

"There are low levels of cyanide in these, you wouldn't want to smoke now."

He took another drag from the cigarette, this time meeting her eyes. The obsidian in his acquired an odd glimmer that forced her to hold her breath. She was almost completely sure that last thing was with the only purpose of angering her.

"I'll come later." Sakura snapped, ready to go but he stepped to her, leaning to reach something behind her and trapping her in the process.

Sakura stiffened due to the sudden and uncomfortable closeness of their bodies. Nevertheless, she refused to give out any signs that it confused every sense of hers. The bitter scent of the cigarette smoke intermingled with something sweet, she assumed it was that woman's perfume and didn't help much either. After the first wave of daze, she remembered seeing an ashtray on the counter. That was his point of interest, surely, but she still couldn't move or think straight.

It wasn't that she found him intimidating in a way, it was rather because of his harmonious features. She had seen many faces throughout her life experience but none had such a magnetizing effect. That was a cold beauty that he possessed, it drew the eyes immediately and it frustrated her way too much that she couldn't get over that fact.

"I should go," Sakura muttered, slightly shifting backward and blushing against her will.

Inches away from her, Sasuke stood still for a few moments more before stepping back and letting her take a breath. She was afraid that he had recognized in her another target over which he could exert his power since the moment she fell distracted by his eyes, at the hospital.

He started pulling up the sleeve of his shirt and she took on with finding the second ampoule in her bag, glad that they were already straight to the point. Sakura managed to get herself together for the procedure but the silence extended and the loudest noise being her breathing was quite unsettling.

"You want to go for a walk?" Sasuke suddenly asked and almost startled her.

"Now?" She tucked a hair behind her ear, glancing at her clock.

He remained silent and waited for her answer.

"Sure. Why... why not?" Sakura shrugged, taking a breath. "I still have a little time."

* * *

Just when Sakura thought she's seen everything from that neighborhood, another element surprised her. There was an alley that connected all of the houses and continued, far from the asphalt and the city noise. Looked like an inner, miniature park and there were no people whatsoever.

"I never thought there is such a place in Konoha." Sakura looked around in awe.

"It's a private alley."

"Is the owner someone from your neighborhood?"

"Practically the whole neighborhood owns is. Everyone paid from their pocket to keep it from turning into another business center."

"That's wonderful." Sakura smiled, her eyes dropping down to the ground.

Scattered, wet leaves colored the pavement in red, orange and brown spots as if purposefully arranged like that by a painter. The same antique lanterns guarded the path against both sides and here and there a lonely bench added a slight variation to the scenery. The atmosphere was rather ghastly because of the fog that covered the area and there was something adventurous in the fact that she couldn't see the end of the road. The only way to find out was to follow it and see what awaited her behind the corner.

"Do you come here often?" Sakura glanced at him. "It's a beautiful sight."

"I don't," Sasuke replied, the same exasperation as before upon his face.

Sakura looked ahead, peering into the mist. Alright. He sure was fun at parties.

"I only come when the blossoms open up, in Spring."

Sakura turned to look at him in surprise.

"You mean..." She didn't finish, suddenly a blush darkening her cheeks.

So all these bare trees around them, they were all sakuras. Why did he bring her there in the first place? Actually, why did she agree to come was the more important question. Convincing herself that she's just a medical person taking care of a patient's health was slowly becoming a part of the list of excuses. And that excuse blended with the actual reason for her behavior.

The actual truth was... she was already running late for the hospital.

 _You haven't changed at all. You're still as naive and foolish as you have always been._

No... That was different. She wanted to be there and it wasn't like she couldn't defend herself. Perhaps sharing that she had practiced karate for years and had a black belt wasn't a way to go. That actually was more frightening than girly and that's why she preferred to keep it for herself. After receiving the belt, she gave up on the karate and kept on with the gym. Anyway, she doubted her skills will be enough to dominate in a fight against an Elite Soldier.

It wasn't that kind of a fight that followed, though. Sasuke started coughing all of a sudden and slowed down to a complete stop, fighting for a breath. Sakura immediately took his hand to check the pulse.

"Goodness, not now. It was a bad idea to go out." Sakura said, heavy concern on her face as she looked at his, even paler than before. "I don't have an anesthetic of any kind."

His breathing was shallow, she barely heard it.

"It's okay. It will be over soon." Sakura almost leaned on him, leaving no space in between. There were a couple of techniques that come up to her mind. Not exactly techniques, these were actually things you should definitely say to a person who's having a hard time breathing, no matter a panic attack or something more serious. Most doctors were skeptical about the actual use of these, believing that only a chemical can help in these cases but Sakura had seen their effect and was certain that actual words could help a person. Depended on the person, of course.

"You just have to breathe, okay?" She still held his hand, reminding herself that physical contact was... of importance, as much as it was inconvenient.

There was this line that popped up in her head, of a textbook she studied from one night. _Physical contact reduces stress in the area of the brain that registers pain._ She found that to be fascinating. If not something else, at least it had to have a calming effect. Otherwise, he would have recoiled from her touch by now. He was still having a hard time normalizing his breathing but Sakura stood beside him, persistently and quietly going over the phrases in her mind like a mantra, not paying much attention to anything that surrounded them. None of the sentences meant something to her until she stumbled across one in particular, in her constant flow of words.

"You are-" Sakura started in a soft tone but made a brief pause, suddenly deciding the phrase could sound in a different way. Not that it wasn't true, just felt a bit more... intimate. "You are safe with me."

"I know." Sasuke managed to give her a tormented reply, although it held a healthy dose of annoyance.

Sakura raised her eyes to him. Perhaps more than five inches shorter, she had to really look up. It probably had to disturb her that the only time his expression took on some momentary softness, or rather weakness, was when he was in pain. She imagined the uncalled twinge of a partial pulmonary collapse was good enough of a reason for one to quit the act for a minute or two.

For her great relief, it took him a couple of critical minutes to overcome the attack and his breathing gradually returned to its usual state.

"I'm just..." Sakura lowered her eyes to his chest, searching for words. "I'm just trying to help."

"Of course you do." Sasuke snapped, backing away from her.

Sakura put her hands in her pockets slowly, looking at him. There was an awkward silence in which neither of them moved. She wondered where she's going wrong. Something of a lump had formed in her throat and she tried to swallow it down. He clearly didn't want her help and now all she was in his eyes was an intruder, a pathogen.

"Let's go back." He tried again as if yet to begin using something slightly different than an imperative.

Not having the nerve to wait for her, Sasuke walked away.

Tears blurred her eyes as she paced ahead, evening with him. It seemed like the cold beauty came in a package with a cold heart. Was it possible for a man to survive when he's isolated so much of the human that his reflection depicts him to be? In these times... she was afraid the answer wasn't what she wanted it to be.

They returned to the compound in silence and Sakura started to leave, certain that not only her presence wasn't preferred but she was getting dangerously late too.

"Thanks for the walk." Sakura smiled at him, despite the bitterness. "It was a nice change from the office."

The look in his eyes sent shivers down her spine and forced her to take a step back.

"I'll be going."

"You had a question." His voice stopped her and she was taken aback.

"A question?"

"You can ask."

Sakura couldn't remember saying anything about a question out loud but she did have one that she tucked aside. Was he a mind-reader or something?

"Okay." She murmured under her breath and after a brief pause gathered the courage to speak out loud. "What did that woman want with you?"

He didn't haste to reply, his gaze piercing through her as ever, steady and focused, with a soldier's precision. A wave of warmth washed through her body as she stood under his gaze, feeling like a prey. Her fight-or-flight response had kicked in.

"What does every woman want with me?"

His not-so-gentle hint got her unprepared and she couldn't suppress the wide smile that appeared on her lips. She nodded, turning around.

"You must know..." Sakura glanced back at him one last time. "Some men don't receive a drop of women's attention through their whole lives. Your complaint is irrelevant."

She didn't wait to see his reaction, already headed to the gate. With the rarity of such combination of symmetrical features and an athletic form for a male she knew the egocentric behavior was to be expected but womanizer or not, he did seem to appear rather picky. Something about his tone ascertained her that the woman's fancy wasn't both-sided. Which, Sakura hated to admit to herself, eased her immensely.

* * *

 _A/N: Thank you for reading. I'm sure that if the AU was really 'real life' Sakura would've slapped him hard for acting like that but... then again Canon!Sakura loved him over the two attempts he made to kill her. I keep that in mind. Gosh, I love Sakura so much. As for Sasuke, I ain't a smoker but damn, him, smoking was even sexy to imagine.  
(I am an asthmatic, by the way, and I know what it's like to not be able to take a breath; I used inhalers years ago but I've had times when someone's words had calmed me down without having to use them so I thought it's not impossible.)_

 _So, next time... SasuSaku again. Wow, what a surprise._

* * *

 _Thanks for the review,_ _ **ViridianUchiha,**_ _and for the compliment too. Hope you'll be having fun with the future chapters too._

 _Thank you,_ _ **RansomNote.**_ _Truth be told, after I started watching Sasuke's character carefully, I realized he's having a hard time expressing everything in words so he chooses actions. I'm glad you found the last scene to be cute. No way Sasuke's gonna be openly cute, though. Absolutely not. Never. (Maybe just a little.)_

 _ **Sakurabeam,**_ _thanks! Well, I don't know about rushing but... things get weird after chapter 10 because they're getting close but they're actually not. And also Kakashi, lol. We'll get there._


	8. Table For Two

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in it.**

* * *

 **VIII.**

 **\- Table For Two -**

"Hello?" Sakura kept the phone steadily pasted to her ear with the help of her shoulder, busy writing the drug prescription for the woman, sitting next to her.

" _Sweetie, is there something you're not telling me?_ " Her dad's voice asked, unusually even.

Sakura handed the note to the woman with a smile.

"Dad, give me a second, please." She lowered the phone. "Take from these three times a day. If you're feeling worse after a week, come back to me, ok?"

"I will." The woman nodded and stood up, taking her back. "Thank you very much, doctor. Have a good day."

Sakura raised the phone back to her ear once the woman left her office.

"Sorry. I had a patient. What were you saying?"

" _Do you keep secrets from me, dear?"_

A furrow appeared on Sakura's face as she left the pen slowly on her desk.

"I don't keep any secrets from you, dad. What do you mean? Is everything alright?"

" _Even if you're in deep trouble and I can't help, I still need to know, do you understand?"_ Kizashi sounded somewhat cross, which is why Sakura's confusion grew stronger.

"Are you at my apartment yet?"

" _Yes."_

Kizashi called her yesterday, announcing that he's coming to visit her on the next day. Sakura agreed, of course, seeing nothing wrong in that. He even promised to bring her some necessary things. In their last conversation, Kizashi seemed perfectly happy and... himself. Now, she couldn't recognize him. The voice on the other side was almost scolding and angry. It was a rarity to have him raise his voice like that. What concerned her more was what was the reason for that change.

"I share everything with you." Sakura drawled. "I don't understand."

" _What's that black car in front of your apartment then?_

Sakura held her breath, eyes going to and fro.

"What car?"

 _"Are you the Government's target now? Are you being followed?"_

"What? No. I don't-" Sakura leaned back in her chair, cutting her sentence in half.

" _What have you done?"_

"Nothing." Sakura suddenly stood up, walking to the door and back to her chair. "Nothing wrong."

" _Sakura,"_ Kizashi demanded. " _Is it something serious? Drugs or murder-"_

"Goodness, no." Sakura scoffed. "Listen, father. I'll come home in an hour. You stay inside and lock the door if it will make you feel better."

 _"If they wanted_ me _, they would've parked in front of_ my _house."_

"Okay, calm down, I'll be with you soon," Sakura said, leaning back on her desk.

No answer followed through the speaker and before she could check if there's something wrong with her phone, the conversation ended abruptly.

What was going on with her father? Last time she heard him being so cross with her was when she was in the college and didn't call for a month because she had too much to study. He almost burst into tears of anger then, upset of the thought that she might have forgotten about him. It didn't help much when she explained that the reason for her silence wasn't personal and her love of him hasn't faded in the least.

Slight worry stung her.

A black car? What kind of a black car? The Government didn't follow her, no way. She hadn't done anything wrong. But then again, she did some illegal stuff lately, although they weren't serious crimes.

A knock on the door startled her.

"Come in." Sakura tucked her phone back in her pocket and a warm smile replaced her worried expression at the sight of a young mother with a daughter entering her office timidly.

"Is that the office of Doctor Haruno?" The woman asked, eyeing her suspiciously.

"Yes. That's it. I am the one you're looking for." Sakura sat back on her chair.

"Strange." The woman said with a faint smile on her lips. "I've heard rumors of how good of a doctor you are."

The ambiguous note made Sakura raise a brow.

"But?"

"Ah," The woman hesitated, pausing. "I just didn't think you looked that way."

"Oh." Sakura could clearly picture another piece of her composure hitting a hard ground and shattering afterward. "Well, I assure you. I am not going to let you down." She gestured at the hospital bed next to her. "You can sit here if you'd like. Let me hear what the problem is."

* * *

Upon leaving the Hospital, she noticed her father's vehicle parked close to the entrance. He saw her immediately and drove to her.

"Hey," Sakura greeted, getting in, but Kizashi was wrinkling. "What's going on?"

"I thought it was safer if I come and pick you up myself. Walking all alone through the streets is dangerous." He explained matter-of-factly.

"I've walked these few blocks for years now, it's not that dangerous. Police officers guard every street." Sakura looked down. "You know I'm safe."

"Then how do you explain to me..." Kizashi's voice trailed off, his attention on the traffic light in front of him. He abruptly decided to change his direction and switched left. "The car in front of your apartment."

"I'm almost sure it's nothing for you to worry about." Sakura sighed.

Kizashi took another route and minutes later they stopped at the street in the back of her apartment. As much as she found that behavior to be ridiculous and paranoid, she complied with her father and they entered through the emergency exit of the three-story building. The neighborhood was quiet as always and everything was as usual, which rose Sakura's suspicions. Was Kizashi bored or just the constant stress and worry had twisted his mind into thinking his closest are in danger?

Sakura unlocked the door and invited him in.

"Are you hungry?" She asked, leaving her bag on the table but Kizashi went on with pulling the curtains.

Soon no light entered the room and Sakura was forced to switch the artificial one on, still not daring to say anything. She headed straight to the kitchenette in the other end of the room.

"Dad, relax. I'm not followed." Sakura washed her hands in the sink and opened her refrigerator. "That's probably the neighbor's Subaru. He often parks on this side of the street because he lives in the residences on the boulevard and there's no place to leave your car there."

"I'm not sure any of your neighbors have ever had the money to buy a car like that, love." Kizashi peeked through the window. "That's a Lexus LFA."

"My knowledge of cars is quite limited." Sakura exhaled, getting tired of her father's act. "That doesn't speak much to me, you know."

"That's... " Kizashi took a breath. "This car is an absolute masterpiece."

"Is that so?"

"Yeah. A V10 that revs from zero to nine thousand in 0.6 seconds." Kizashi murmured, making a pause. "I bet she has a voice of an angel."

"You seem acquainted with the car," Sakura noted, glancing back to him still watching through the window. "I didn't hear if you're hungry or not."

"I'm not. Well, everyone that's a fan of Lexus knows about this beauty." He waved with hand indefinitely. "I'm not hungry."

"The thing is... you have no idea how much this car costs."

"Is this a reason to believe someone from the Government is following me?" Sakura inquired.

"Yes. I can't imagine an ordinary citizen being in a possession of such a car. The Police officers don't even question it, they're just passing it by."

Sakura gave out another heavy sigh and placed yesterday's rice on the small table with the intentions of eating it.

"Get off the window already." She wearied, sitting on one of the chairs. "Are you gonna stay the night? Because you'll have to sleep on the couch. It's extendable."

"I wasn't going to stay but this car bothers me," Kizashi announced, finally tearing his gaze away from the glass.

"If the Government wanted to get me, I'm sure they would've done it five minutes after they've decided to. I'm walking to the Hospital and back, every day, by foot."

"That doesn't appease me. What if it's worse? What if one of these gangs have turned you into a target?" Kizashi sat across her, a shadow passing across his face.

"Then I'll call the police." Sakura shrugged.

"The same police that doesn't seem to mind a 552 horse power monster lying literally at your front door."

Sakura shook her head. He really was a fan of that car, wasn't he?

"I plan on having dinner first. The full day at the hospital exhausted me enough." Sakura just took her fork when her phone buzzed with the sound of an arrived message.

"I could stay with you but your mother's gonna worry about you a couple of times more if I stay," Kizashi commented while Sakura pulled out her phone and checked it. "I might stay, though."

 _Get dressed._

Sakura stared at the display without moving. What? A few seconds later her phone buzzed again.

 _And tell your father these curtains are transparent and I can see both of you clearly._

"You alright, sweetie? You're pale." Kizashi tilted his head.

Sakura raised her head and looked at him for a while before comprehending what he was asking.

"Ah, yes. I'm alright."

"Something wrong?"

"Not at all." Sakura murmured, eyes down on the display again.

 _How formal, from 1 to 10?_ She wrote slowly and sent back.

"Are you sure?"

"I think I might have to go out tonight, do you mind?" She placed her phone on the table.

"Out?" Kizashi was astounded. "Where? I thought all the nightclubs and bars were dead and gone years ago."

"I'm not... completely sure where."

Was she going to play his game? The rules he set were not in her favor, though. She had zero knowledge of her surroundings, zero knowledge of him and the way he thought as well as zero knowledge of his intentions. That was a serious disadvantage for her there but then again, she could defend herself fairly well. And he seemed an intriguing opponent.

Her phone buzzed again and she checked it.

 _12._

Oh... Okay. The stakes were high.

"I have good news for you." Sakura smiled at her father. "I know the person in possession of that car."

"You're making fun of me." Kizashi folded hands, furrowing.

"I'm not." Sakura chuckled. "He's a patient of mine."

"He?" Kizashi leaned in.

"Yeah, he... just wrote to me."

"I understand."

Sakura raised a brow at his intonation.

"No, it's not... it's not like that. He's not..." She stuttered, eyes dropping down with inconvenience.

"It's exactly what I think it is."

"I am sure that's not the case. He's not the type to..."

"Is he reliable?" Kizashi asked as if interrogating her.

Sakura stood still for a moment, watching him.

"I don't know."

"Give me one good reason to let you go out with him and I'm leaving this apartment."

Sakura relaxed back in her chair, thinking.

"I saved his life?"

Her father thought over her words for a while before standing up. "In this case, I'll be going."

"Are you sure you don't want to-" Sakura stood up, speaking after him but he sneaked away from her apartment, rejecting every offer she made until one last _Take care_ didn't silence her completely.

He gave her a tight hug her and... left.

Sakura stood there, on the threshold, with a heavy heart. It touched her deeply that he cared to that extent and she appreciated it but all that could become unhealthy at some point. Laughter and smiles couldn't conceal his true state and emotions, they never did. Kizashi was sincere and warm, at all times. He instantly reflected the problem whenever something went wrong, The pain in his eyes was discernible and his reluctant retreat clear.

Fearing that he would end up like this gnawed at Sakura for a long time. Fear of the moment when she would take serious decisions on her own and he wouldn't have a say in them, forced to be a spectator. There was a shade of bitterness in him just now, a bitterness she hadn't seen before. As if he realized she's grown up and he's not supposed to keep her from danger the way he did when she was high to his knee anymore. As if he saw her slipping away, going beyond his reach and where he couldn't follow, although he wanted to.

That's why she reminded him of it whenever she could, teaching him to see things differently, to somehow... cool in his affection to her so that the detachment afterward hurts less. She has never been a parent but something told her that whatever she did, he was going to remain the same. A faint smile curved her lips as she closed the door absently. There was this line that circled in her head, in fact, it was from a movie she watched a while ago. The opening line said in a female voice. Weary, melancholic voice.

 _Perhaps no one has ever said that out loud so I guess I'll have to say it... only death can separate a father from his daughter._

* * *

Well, that surely had to fit in the 12 section.

Twenty-five minutes later Sakura stood in front of her mirror, contemplating her reflection in heavy silence. She never thought she'd ever wear that dress but here she was.

The black silk enveloped and outlined her form, ending a bit under her knees. From both sides of the boat neckline were attached the endings of a sheer tulle of organza with a touch of pale pink. Exquisite, delicate blossom embroidery followed the border. Sakura tied her hair in a low-bun but left a few lock around her face. Not aware that the pink color of her hair could match so well with that dress and these white pearl earrings, she scoffed. That one time her hair color was apt. After a few more details she was content with the result.

Only if she knew where she was going exactly. That would've helped her immensely.

She put on her indigo trench on the way out, grabbed her black, cocktail clutch and dashed out of the apartment. The high heels didn't allow her much speed but that had a bright side. Moving slow gave her the opportunity to examine the miraculous sight. She doubted these streets have seen or will ever see such vehicle.

The Lexus nailed the attention immediately. Matter-of-fact, her father missed mentioning some details. The color of its carbon fibered body was matte black and the windows - darkened. It was obvious that the design was subordinate to the aerodynamics because the aesthetic only reminded of a supercar. It was more of a fusion between an every day and a race car. Still, the sharp edges and cutoffs gave out an overall aggressive vibe.

As Sakura neared the car slowly, the front door opened and Sasuke stepped out. He surrounded the car before she could get close and opened the other door.

"Really?" Sakura raised a brow, feeling more and more as if she's going to a movie premiere.

Strange, she didn't imagine him being that kind of a person. But having heard of his skills and influence, she was positive he could be whatever he wanted.

He didn't lie about the 12, though. Her first thought was that he must have had something of an overcoat or a suit jacket, the weather was far too cold for one to hang around only in a shirt and a vest. Although interested in his cloth choice, she reminded herself the detailed examination could be left for later.

"Women have this unique talent in slamming doors that only need a gentle push." He explained, eyes running over her body. "I'm not doing this for you."

"Of course... That car costs more than me, I'm sure." Sakura's eyes held his as she passed by him and tore away from them while getting in.

What did he think, that she wasn't ready to handle him? He wasn't the only one armed with refined sarcasm and ambiguous remarks. Waging war might be his specialty but it wasn't like she's not acquainted with common strategies.

Once he closed the door and got in his seat, Sakura reached for her seatbelt but he just observed her while she did it.

"What?"

He didn't answer, proceeding to start the engine. A muffled, low roar reached their ears and as soon as he hit the accelerator, they set off. The back of her hand resting on her mouth, Sakura almost laughed at the way he drove through the small alleys of her neighborhood. It wasn't like his, for sure, with holes here and there and impossibly narrow spaces between the parked cars. Evading all these obstacles clearly irritated him greatly but neither of them said a word before they got out on the boulevard.

"You're not a fan of seatbelts," Sakura noted, in wonder.

"I'm not." He glanced up at the traffic light.

"What do you tell the police officers when they pull you up?"

"My name."

"Right." Sakura looked through the darkened glass. "Convenient."

The grumble heaved up an octave with every small touch of the accelerator but Sakura was convinced he wouldn't have brought that kind of a car just to barely touch that pedal.

"Where are we going, if it's not a secret?" She renewed the conversation as they slid down the road at a modest speed.

Matter-of-fact, riding in that car was like floating, it didn't feel like the car touched the concrete at all.

"A restaurant. You might've heard about Ichiraku. It's on the city's outskirts."

"I haven't heard of it," Sakura admitted, stealing a glance at him. "But I hope my outfit meets their expectations."

"It does. Well done." Sasuke commented in a perfectly even intonation.

"You're not bad yourself."

Sakura finally caught a lapse of time in which she could actually see him and discern the layers of his clothing. Something about the variety of his accessories told her that he wore mainly black. Accordingly, he had a black vest and a black bowtie as well as a black watch but the shirt was an elegant charcoal nailshead.

Sakura hurried to avert her gaze to the other side before he says something about her scrutiny. Hoping that the frustration wasn't written all over her face she furrowed over a thought in particular. He was so handsome that she felt a couple of times worse about her own body. It wasn't fair.

"Finally." Sasuke murmured, shifting the gear.

Sakura noticed they have just exited the populated area and have continued their way on the highway. Here and there a chance car or a lorry passed by them but overall the road was lone and quiet.

A quiet puff escaped Sakura's chest and she shook her head.

"What?" Sasuke inquired.

"Nothing. Just..." Sakura's gaze wondered indefinitely through the window. "All these years and I haven't left this city a single time."

"Really?"

"Yeah." She chuckled hollowly. "Perhaps the war will end sometime in the near future and I'll be able to travel."

"The war's not going to end soon." Sasuke accelerated, lowering the shrill sound of the engine. "Don't raise your hopes."

"I can't spend my life drowning in sorrows. Like you." Sakura teased, a playful smile twitching her glossed lips. "I can always dream."

"Dreams are useless." He retorted. "You clearly haven't seen a battlefield with your own eyes."

Sakura was about to reply but they reached their destination and her attention diverted. The restaurant was built on the plateau whose foot served as a residence of Konoha. Surprisingly, the parking was full.

She almost let out a laugh when the realization struck her. These were all expensive cars. So that's where the rich went to have dinner while the ordinary citizen dealt with the food deficit and the numerous restrictions. Getting out of the car, she chose to be silent for the time being. These lands were unfamiliar and it was better if she played dumb.

Surrounding the parking place, a wide alley enveloped the glass-paned restaurant and led straight to the entrance. Sakura had a hard time moving for a while, her eyes now on Sasuke, who walked ahead slowly, with a dark knee length top coat covering his shoulders.

"Are you coming?" He asked out loud as if sensing the trail her eyes made on him.

"Yes." Sakura couldn't believe the heat rising within her every time she laid eyes on him. It was getting ridiculous not being able to control your own body in any way. She trailed after him obediently until he stopped to open the door for her.

"You trying to save the glass from my destructive touch now?" She wondered, entering. "I'm beginning to think you know me too well."

"I do." He said and she glanced back at him.

What did he know about her, exactly? And why did he bring her here? There was something really suspicious about all this but she preferred to leave these questions for later. An assistant took their overcoats and left them to the hostess - a short, winsome woman that spoke in a quiet manner. She ushered them in the dining hall.

"Do we have a table?" Sakura whispered, leaning his way with worry but he didn't care to answer.

The most unnerving part was the solemn atmosphere, the lowered lighting along with the artful decorations fitting the interior. There was even a small quartet in the corner of the wide room, playing music. Once again, the dreadful feeling that she didn't belong attacked her with full force and she squeezed her bag with both hands, eyes dropping down. While the not-so-discreet wave of looks still oppressed her, the hostess left them to ensconce. It was a quiet and secluded table, pasted to the high glass wall. It seems all the visitors of the restaurant were regular and everyone knew each other. Why else would they watch her as if she's an alien?

"Ah, Mr. Uchiha." A cheerful voice reached their ears and they turned to look at the neatly dressed head waiter who seemed to know Sasuke very well, judging from the warm smile on his face. Sasuke, on the other side, didn't seem to reciprocate these feelings. "Welcome back. I haven't seen you in a while. How is your brother doing?"

Sakura tensed, not sure what to expect because Sasuke froze, eyes fixed on the waiter.

"My brother's dead." He replied coldly. "Any other questions?"

The waiter withered, his smile fading away in an instant.

"My deepest condolences."

"Yeah, whatever." Sasuke snapped, looking through the window but Sakura wearied, reaching to touch his hand.

He pulled away sharply and Sakura realized the waiter was still waiting inconveniently next to them so she gave him a guilty smile.

"I hadn't the pleasure of meeting you, dear." Startling, the waiter put on his dashing smile again and took her hand in order to kiss it, which resulted in her blushing.

"Haruno Sakura."

"Beautiful." The waiter commented and she wasn't sure if he talked about her appearance or her name. Nevertheless, this man was the first thing that eased her throughout her whole evening so far.

"You seem to know the Uchiha family very well." She noted quietly.

"Oh, yes. I had the honor to know Uchiha Fugaku, one of the most respectable men I've ever met. He came here often." The waiter paused. "Though his son has taken after his father in manners, he's the living image of his mother."

"Okay, that's enough." Sasuke interfered with a masterful tone but the waiter only gave him a surprised look.

"If you don't mind, sir, I'm talking with the lady."

Sasuke's gaze shifted on Sakura and the sudden urge to run hit her but fortunately, he relaxed back in his chair in defeat.

"Please, do tell me..." Sakura bit her lower lip.

"Call me Teuchi."

"Teuchi, how much did he pay you to be so nice to me?"

"You are insulting me. Being nice is my own choice and I'm certainly not paid for it. It would've been nice if someone actually did."

Sakura chuckled.

"My guess is you are nice with every woman he comes with. Why should I feel special?"

Teuchi was suddenly taken aback by her statement and for a moment remained silent. He glanced at Sasuke who observed thoroughly a point in the tablecloth, appearing uninterested in the conversation.

"There must be some kind of a misunderstanding, miss." Teuchi hid his hands behind his back. "You are the first woman he's brought here."

Sakura opened her mouth but closed it soon after. Her cheeks reddened as she lowered her eyes down.

"Something I can be helpful with?

"Red wine. You know which one." Sasuke finally spoke.

"Very well. My daughter's going to serve you tonight. The wine will be here in no time." Teuchi nodded and left, leaving a continuous silence between the two.

"Sorry." Sakura furrowed, afraid to look up but... she did, nevertheless.

Sasuke pulled the end of his bowtie, untying it completely with a second movement. Presumably, he wasn't aware that the ghost of a smile on his face transfixed her mercilessly, the sensation resembling a hot iron through her skin.

"Glad to know you can smile." Voice down, Sakura tried to restore her dignity, although it had completely crumbled down after her last mistake. It was a couple of times harder for her to breathe anyway, when he proceeded to unbutton the uppermost stud of his shirt. "I'd embarrass myself more often."

She looked through the glass, leaning on her hand. Never in her life she thought she'd be able to see Konoha's lights from above. It was like tiny Christmas lights have been scattered on a vast midnight blue canvas, sparkling warmly in the distance. That city has always been in her heart but now she loved it more than ever. Perhaps the quiet music in the background hyperbolized the feeling but still, it was true.

"You seem to visit this restaurant often." She started the conversation absent-mindedly, her eyes still upon the resplendent view.

"My father did. I just follow the tradition."

"Why didn't you take his position in the police?" Sakura turned to meet his eyes.

This time, though, he didn't move for quite some time. Doubts that he'd give her an answer rose inside of her.

"I wanted..." He started, looking down for a second. "To be like my brother."

"I understand."

"No, you don't."

Sakura furrowed at him, unable to comprehend his severity. А slender, dark-haired girl approached them with two glasses and a bottle of wine.

"Good evening, I am Ayame." The girl left the glasses on their table and looked at both of them. "Should I pour the wine or leave it to you?"

"Leave it," Sasuke said, without even turning to her.

"Thank you." Sakura smiled at her, deciding that she deserved more attention that Sasuke cared to give her before she leaves their presence.

"Do you want something else?" Ayame inquired quietly but the silence extended, Sasuke busy glaring at Sakura.

"That will be it for now." Sakura finished the conversation on her own, whereat Ayame walked away.

"Stop doing that," Sasuke said through clenched teeth.

"Doing what? Being nice, like every normal human being would?" Sakura asked, lowering her intonation.

"I'm not the one who keeps bragging about being better than the rest." He leaned in.

Sakura frowned.

"I'm not better than the rest. I just thought she deserved-"

"You keep doing that." Sasuke hissed angrily. "Even now."

"What did you bring me here for then?" Sakura asked abruptly.

"I was assigned to study you," Sasuke replied and a brief pause spread between them.

"What?" Sakura gasped. _"Study me?"_

"I had to check if you're good enough. If you're dependable." He slightly tilted his head. "And you know what, I don't think you're even near to good enough. You are a disaster."

Sakura had frozen in her place, astounded.

"I-"

"Don't start again." He cut her off. "Why don't you just stop playing the caretaker and skip to the point?"

"Excuse me?"

"Come on, I've seen that look before. We both know what you're aiming for."

Sakura was too stunned to talk, opening her mouth but words didn't come out of there. He used her confusion and leaned to her.

"I don't need another slut to tell me what to do with my life."

Sakura swallowed, feeling as if physically hit. Tears filled her eyes and threatened to suffocate her as she stood up slowly.

"Thank you..." A smile adorned her features, turning her face into a grimace. "For bringing me here. Very kind of you. Good night."

She walked away, ignoring the attendants' piercing gazes. Her only hope now was that she would find a taxi to take her home quickly. That day was just too long.

* * *

 _A/N: That... was a bit longer than usual. Thanks for reading. Smooth Sasuke is smooth (or not so much lol) I promise I'm not advertising Lexus hah I just like the car. Since I have two brothers and, as you can quite clearly guess, 'Cars' is a really common subject, I decided to include one of my favorites. If someone from my readers has a favorite supercar that's Japanese too, high five. These guys are the gods of the mechanics. Also, I transformed Ramen Ichiraku into a fancy restaurant, hope you like the change._

 _Chapter 9 will practically be overthinking Sakura and... some other things I'm not gonna share but it's gonna be more of a filler, just so you know. Could be shorter than normal, I'll see. See you next time and another thank you to whoever joined in recently!_

* * *

 _ **Orchestra Dork,** glad you liked that little fact! I actually wanted to have Sakura convincing herself everything she does is because their relationship is doctor-patient and nothing else but she hasn't yet realized she's attached. Not yet. But it will happen soon._

 _ **RansomeNote,** thank you! I have this fear that I'll get Sasuke out of character so it's good you assured me I'm on the right path. I haven't thought about how complicated of a character he is until I sat down to write him in a story. I can only hope I'll keep it all interesting._

 _Thank you, thank you, **Riela,** for reviewing and encouraging me. Hope you liked this chapter!_

 _Thanks to **Guest(1),** too._


	9. Poison

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in it.**

* * *

 **IX.**

 **\- Poison -**

It was not enough. The iron plates on her barbell already weighed two hundred and ninety pounds but lifting and squatting with that much stopped bothering her long ago. In the last hour, she kept putting on additional plates but nothing seemed to trouble her. Perhaps her rage had something to do with it.

It was almost as if it fueled her, giving her an unlimited source of power. Her muscles started protesting long ago but she was so infuriated that she didn't notice, hair tied and knuckles crackling. No surprise that fear had overtaken Ino as she kept on with her exercises on the far end of the gym, without bothering her friend. Ino's exercises consisted of light stretching, dumbbell drills and mostly movements that made the representatives of the opposite sex want to stop and look. Not that she didn't like the attention, just that now her mind was occupied with something more important. The drastic change in her friend's attitude.

When they parted yesterday, her friend was in her usual quiet and even state, thoughtful expressions and smiles whenever it was needed. In rare cases like this, she witnessed her so... enflamed. Sakura's wrath emanated almost tangibly and that's the reason fear awakened in Ino. The aura around Sakura was so dense that even a look upon her was a hard task for she caught every single one of these attempts and cast back a glare that would make one give up on whatever intention he's previously had toward her.

 _Unapproachable_ was the exact words that circled in Ino's mind during this last hour of their training. Three times a week their schedules opened a time loop that allowed them to go together and train. She clearly remembered the appointment they made for today. Was it _her_ fault? Did she do something? Sakura didn't say a word since the morning in the hospital. Not on their way out, neither on their way to the gym. Such fits of anger frightened everyone around her. The way her friend's body looked suggested a careful approach.

One thing was to insult a tiny, 5" 4' person with pink hair, another was to insult a walking flame in the shape of an almost pure muscle. That cropped top she wore revealed the strong core and the black leggings outlined her toned legs and molded hips. Her form wasn't close to one that Ino would call cute but it was somehow attractive nevertheless. Only when she strengthened after her warm up her body acquired a rather frightening appearance because every muscle on her was contoured. Then, it was... rather oppressive. Especially when her pink hair was in a tight ponytail and her brows were knitted into one.

Ino left her dumbbells on the floor and took the towel from the bar next to her. She approached Sakura slowly, throwing the towel over her shoulder. The sound of iron clashing in iron resounded as Sakura furiously put on her barbell another weight plate and took on with fixing the wraps on her wrists.

"You trying to break the floor or something?" Ino raised a brow, leaning on the squat rack. Her hand absently traced down her long braid.

Sakura didn't answer, pulling the strap harshly so that it doesn't loosen.

"What's going on, forehead?" Ino's voice evened, putting off the act.

"Nothing."

"Come on, tell me."

Sakura stepped to the barbell and set it up for her shoulders for a second before lifting it up squatting slowly, letting out her breath. To get up again was a struggle but her face didn't show it in the least. The same furrow darkened her features, the same odd glimmer lingered in her eyes. Sakura left the barbell on the rack after six squats, heavy breathing. It was another matter that her legs slightly shook at the pressure in the beginning.

"Did you meet him again?"

Sakura looked at her, then sat down on the floor, resting her back on the iron bars.

"I did."

Ino bit her lips, unable to stop the smile from showing on her lips. She hurried to sit down next to her friend, hands leaning on her knees.

"How?"

Sakura tilted her head, with a grimace of indignation upon her face.

"We went out."

"In the evening?" Ino marveled. "Sounds like a date to me."

"A mission." Sakura corrected, reaching for the bottle of water in her right.

"What?"

"Don't ask me because I have no idea. I was being studied and I don't even know when it has all started."

"What are you telling me, that you two went out and he _told_ you that? Ino laughed. "He's probably lying just to divert your attention."

"Ino, trust me. He was telling the truth." Sakura gave her a fake smile. "If I didn't know Sai, I'd give him the gold medal. You know, the _Brutally Honest Competition._ "

"I don't believe this." Ino shook her head. "Where did he take you? In the snack bar round the corner?"

Sakura made a pause, looking down.

"A restaurant. Ichiraku."

"Excuse me?" Ino almost jumped in astonishment. "Are you joking?"

Sakura shrugged indefinitely.

"I've never been there but... I can only wish for a chance like that."

"So you're acquainted with the place. You know all the airs and graces, then. As I think about it, you'd fit there perfectly." Sakura furrowed. "Everyone was so dolled up that it made me feel uncomfortable. Not to mention my companion was terrible."

"Stop it, I'm sure it wasn't that bad." Ino rested her head on her hands, fawning on her. Her voice lowered almost to a whisper. "Did you hit that nice piece of ass, though?"

"I'm going on the other side of the room." Sakura stood up sharply. "If someone asks, I don't know you."

Ino laughed out loud.

"So you did?"

"No. Stop with this, for goodness sake. I am not you." Sakura snapped, making her way to the dipping bars.

"Why do you look like you want to break bones, then? What happened?"

"Nothing happened, alright? Stop asking questions, I'm gonna punch you."

"Apparently _something_ happened. I haven't seen you that furious since I made a party in your apartment without your consent."

"He called me a slut. Are you happy now? Will I be able to train in peace?" Sakura exhaled with exasperation, dipping her body up and down on the parallel bars.

"Oh..." Ino narrowed eyes and waited for Sakura to finish with her exercise so that she could continue with her mental torment upon her. "Mister Moody missed a fine chance." She pushed Sakura's stomach lightly. "Perhaps he's not interested in your type of body."

"What the hell, Ino?" Sakura shoved her out of the way with anger.

"Don't tell Sai but I might give it a try. You don't mind, do you?" Ino trailed after her.

Sakura turned back to give her a murderous glare.

"Bet he'd call you a slut too. You act more like it... Pig."

"Shut up." Ino passed her by, furrowing. "Let's go to Amaguriama."

Sakura sighed.

"Didn't they close after six?"

"They work overtime on Fridays. Let's go." Ino threw her towel at Sakura and walked away, barely holding her laughter.

* * *

Amaguirama was the most famous cafe in the city. At least until the war started. Cozy and built in the spirit of tradition, it was one of the favorite places of both Sakura's generation and the ones before that for its simplicity and ability to make you feel better. Was it hot cocoa, sweets or just a tea, one could stop and enjoy the quiet murmur in the background and take a mental rest from the everyday life.

The cafe was almost desolate the last months and it pained Sakura to see it slowly die. Even now, when it was a Friday afternoon, the occupied tables barely made an impression. Two or three, did it matter? It surely wasn't enough for the cafe provide for itself and survive. A wave of sadness washed through Sakura as she realized these were the last days of Amaguriama's life she witnessed.

Ino sat on a table in the corner and Sakura followed.

"I could use a coffee." Ino sighed, leaving her bag on the table. "Night shifts are _not_ for people like me."

"I will agree with you on that. The hours between two and six are hellish."

"Come. On." Ino suddenly snapped, winning over Sakura's attention.

"What?"

"Isn't that... My, my."

"Don't stare like that." Sakura rolled her eyes, convinced that Ino has fixated yet another target.

Ino waved with hand, gesturing to someone to come over.

"What are you doing, Ino?" Sakura hissed.

"What a killer couple." Ino cheered, smiling widely. "Can't wait to see their children."

"Heya." A familiar, joyful voice greeted and Sakura turned to see Naruto standing beside Hinata next to their table.

It's been only two weeks since they've received the soldiers in the hospital. The last person Sakura expected to see standing and walking around, although with crutches and still bandaged, was the second lieutenant. He was quite vigorous, that one. Smelled like hyperactivity to her. Third-degree burns and he was already up. Some patients just couldn't stay in a single bed for more than ten days. It drove them crazy.

Both Naruto and Hinata were in civilian clothing, in pastel colors. Sakura leaned on her hand, another tinge of sweet dread making its way to her heart. She could only wish of having that amount of tenderness and finesse Hinata emanated at all times. Her presence was ethereal as if a veritable angel has descended from the heavens and walked among them in its quiet melancholy. It seems Naruto, too, was convinced of that because every time she touched him his face lit up as if he had been granted with a blessing.

"I'll go get two more chairs." Ino winked at Naruto and stood up.

"We were just..." Hinata tried to oppose her but her voice faded when Ino didn't even turn to listen to her.

"Leaving?" Sakura finished with a smile and gave up her chair so that Naruto can sit. "We don't plan to stay long. Why don't you two join us for a while? If you're not in a hurry, of course."

"Ah, no..." Naruto shrugged but the movement made him wince. "We can stay."

Hinata furrowed and helped him sit as Ino returned with two empty chairs and handed one to Sakura.

"So." Ino intertwined her hands. "How is it going with you two?"

"Uh..." Naruto looked at Hinata and she blushed. "Good."

Sakura chuckled.

"Aren't you out of the bed a bit too early?"

"I'm fine. Gotta get rid of those crutches as fast as I can. "

"I knew you had to rest more," Hinata noted.

"If he feels good enough to walk then I'm not worried." Sakura calmed her down and a brief silence spread between them.

"Is that your natural hair color?" Ino asked Hinata more quietly and aside whereat Hinata started explaining to her quietly but Sakura and Naruto just stood awkwardly, trying to find a common subject. Sakura feared they might find one, after all.

"Have you met Sasuke? Last time I heard him was last week." Naruto scratched his head. "I, uh... don't know what's goin' on with him lately."

"I talked with him once or twice." Sakura murmured, eyes down.

"They went out." Ino intervened loudly and Sakura glared at her.

"Wow. That idiot? Going out?" Naruto's eyes widened. "Must be the cyanide."

"He's past the cyanide," Sakura assured him. "I succeeded in giving him the medicine he refused so... tenaciously."

"Good to hear." He blew out his cheeks. "Pffft, he's such a balk."

Hinata and Ino sunk in a quiet conversation, ignoring the other two. Perhaps it was one of Ino's multiple schemes and plans for Sakura or a coincidence but the situation demanded a dialogue and they started one.

Sakura chose to remain silent because her opinion could hurt him. Sasuke was not only a balk, he was a dam. A dam that simultaneously held everything a human represented behind its thick wall and at the same time kept from any external attempts of bringing that humanity out. One should not forget the great amounts of hostility, the unnecessary death threats, the overwhelming arrogance and all the mood swings that were more typical for a woman.

Walking to his house, begging him in that humiliating way, saving him numerous times when all he showed was ultimate vexation and not a drop of gratitude. True, she didn't use to think highly of herself and she still didn't but that was absolute trampling on her whole being. He was poison to her, as harsh as it sounded. Pronouncing that sentence wasn't that hard in her mind since she was certain he thought the same for her, if not worse.

"Will you two... meet again?" Naruto inquired, the hope in his cerulean eyes beaming so bright that Sakura withered.

How was she to tell him the truth and not cause him any pain? He knew his friend and how he was capable of destroying everything in his way, though. It shouldn't be that much of a surprise, right?

"No, I'm done. I..." Sakura intertwined her fingers, giving a wide smile. "Case closed."

"Really?"

"Absolutely." She nodded. "Sorry to say that to you, I know you're his friend but... I don't want to have anything to do with him anymore."

"I see." Naruto held his eyes on her for a moment.

"It's nothing personal." Sakura tried to explain again but the hope there had simmered down, leaving a strange hollow.

"No need to explain." His lips curved into the same dashing smile as before, his voice never as quiet.

An urge to ask got into Sakura and she leaned in to him, furrowing.

"Why are you even friends with this person?" The words came out of her mouth before she could think them through. "He's just so... "

"Despicable?" Naruto asked. "Yeah. Definitely."

Sakura leaned back in her chair.

"I don't understand."

"All of your relatives are alive, aren't they?" He gave her a half-smile.

"What are you guys talking about?" Ino intervened, trying to catch up with the conversation.

"Nothing." Sakura murmured. "I'm gonna go take my tea. Do you want something, Ino?"

"Mm, the usual."

"Triple espresso?"

"Yeah." Ino waved at her as she stood up from her chair and made her way to the pay-desk.

Sakura paid the order but reassured the woman there's no need for a waiter to bring the drinks to the table because she would do it herself. While waiting for them to be made, her eyes wandered to the shop window where different kinds of cakes laid. Three kinds of cakes, to be precise. Before the war started that cafe swarmed with people and the menu was... fuller. Now everything was emptier.

The metronomic sound of metal hitting the ground approached Sakura from behind but her eyes remained on the scarce view.

"What a tragic sight." Naruto laughed, stopping to look at the same. "Miss the dark chocolate one. I almost received food poisoning one time. Tried to eat a whole cake at once."

Sakura couldn't help but chuckle and shake her head.

"I miss a lot of things from before."

"Yeah. Me too." He limped forward in order to read the tiny price tags below.

"Naruto?" Sakura glanced at him.

"Mmm?"

"Do you know something about a mission involving... me?"

"What? No." Naruto scoffed. "Where did you get an idea like that?"

Sakura observed his reaction carefully and concluded he was sincere and decided to not ask any further.

"Nevermind."

"Do you want sugar in the tea?" The woman from before asked over the bar.

"No, thanks."

Brief silence spread between the two of them as Sakura pondered over a problem in particular. Letting their previous conversation go without a proper ending was not something she intended to do.

"Tell me something..." Sakura took a breath. "How is it you're being so nice to me and he's not able to do the same? You've gone through the same tragedy."

Naruto straightened up, now looking at her.

"Everyone lives through it differently, I guess."

"No, you don't treat people like that. How do you do it and he can't?" Sakura folded hands. "You've lost so much... and here you are," He voice lowered to a whisper, "joking about cakes."

Naruto was taken aback with the amount of emotion she brought to her words and for a moment just stood still, not sure what to say.

"Don't tell me he's that kind of a person because I am positive no one is born frigid to that extent."

"Sasuke thinks he's tough but he's not. That's his problem." Naruto sighed.

"What does that have to do with the fact he treats people like garbage?"

"He probably can't live through his tragedy," Naruto said slowly. "I did. So did most of my friends."

Sakura stared at him without making a sound as a mirthless smile appeared on his face.

"It's the worst. Losing hope." He paused, looking up to her. "I believe he might find it again one day, that's why I call myself his friend."

"Here you go." The woman behind the shop window placed the two cups on the bar and Sakura took them.

"Thank you."

A phone ringing resounded and for a moment she thought it's her phone but the melody wasn't familiar. It was Naruto's, in fact, and she gave him a harassed expression.

"You want me to give it to you?" Sakura offered, aware that picking up a phone while trying to balance on crutches was going to end disastrously.

"If you'd be so kind, doctor."

"Sakura." She smiled at him and hurried to leave back the cups on the counter and take the phone from his pocket.

"Sorry for that." Naruto looked highly uncomfortable as he made an attempt to free one hand but did not succeed.

"It's alright, I can hold it for you too."

"I'd be in your debt." He let out a hiss. "It was all going to be easier if we were sitting."

Sakura looked at the display and froze.

"What is it?" Naruto peeked and she turned to show him who was calling before picking up and nearing it to his ear.

"What do you think you're doing not answering my calls, you sorry-ass bastard?" Naruto shouted out and Sakura raised a brow.

A true friend, he was. No mistake about that.

"No." Naruto snapped, eyes to and fro. "What? Why would I want to do that?"

A long pause followed and with every passing second Naruto's face acquired deeper and deeper confusion.

"Wait a second, I don't get a word you're saying!" He fumed. "You're the dumb one for not explaining to me properly!"

Naruto looked up to Sakura and she held his eyes.

"What for?" He narrowed eyes. "Look, I don't want- What a jerk. He hung up."

Sakura slowly pulled away and put his phone back in his pocket. She took her cups absently.

"Are we going back to the table?" Her eyes fell on Naruto's.

"Uh... yeah." He looked dumbfounded, watching intently at a point on the ground.

"You alright?"

"I'm fine," Naruto mumbled, proceeding to follow Sakura at a slow pace.

Curiosity gnawing at her, she couldn't help but wonder what just happened between them. The words escaped her lips quicker than she expected. At least they held the needed amount of coldness.

"What did he want?"

"What's wrong with this guy?" Naruto miffed, staring down. "Asked me the weirdest questions. If I liked his car or... or if I'd have space in my house for more furniture."

Sakura slowed down her steps to a complete stop and looked at him.

"Did you plan an exchange of something?"

"No." Naruto stopped and scratched his neck in confusion. "Although... he talked about some documents when I called him last week. He sounded delirious so I paid him no mind. But he mentioned them again now."

"What documents?"

"Sakura!" Ino yelled from the other side of the room. "I want my coffee already!"

"I'm not sure. He said everything's done and... all that's left for me to do is a signature? What is he even talking about?" Naruto looked up at her in general confusion.

"And that was all? No other explanation?"

Naruto shrugged.

"That's totally in his style. Talking nonsense only he understands... only that _goodbye_ wasn't really characteristic. Since when he's ending conversations like normal people do? Sakura?"

Overwhelming consternation had taken over her body as a heavy dizziness hit her right in the head. All of her anger evaporated in a single second, leaving only fear in a pure form.

"You're pale as a ghost," Naruto noted, furrowing. "You should sit down."

"I..." Sakura stepped back, eyes widened.

"What's going on?" Ino ranted, out of patience. "You guys come over and continue the chat on the table."

"Oh God, no." She didn't notice when the cups slipped from her hands and fell, spilling on the ground because the thoughts in her head alarmed with red light.

"Sakura, what happened?" Naruto's voice echoed behind her but she had no time to look back.

Dashing out of the cafe at lightning speed and heading straight to the car, her feet moved as if on their own while her mind was racing.

Giving away property sounded a bit different... if you were in possession of a gun.

Sakura's only wish now was to be granted with a power that will make her faster than a bullet.

* * *

 _A/N: Ahh, thanks for reading_ _!_ _So many things to do but I actually managed to update. Whew. Hope you liked this chapter and hope you guys will be patient with me. I'm loving how this chapter turned out because I first thought it's going be a boring filler._ _I'll stop and examine thoroughly Sasuke's trail of thoughts through Sakura's head in the next chapter. They meet again and it's an important meeting. Kind of._

* * *

 _Weeell, with the speed I'm writing, it's definitely gonna be a slow development,_ _ **Sakurabeam.**_ _Thanks for the review, though. Hope you won't die of boredom waiting for me to update._

 _ **The Orchestra Dork,**_ _the one keeping my hopes up with every chapter. You're so awesome. Glad you let me know Sasuke's in-character. It's a tough battle keeping him that way._

 _Thanks for the review, **k. chervenkova**_ _! Glad you're interested._

 _ **Guest(1),**_ _bet you thought she'd be crying. Well, she ain't crying._

 _ **Guest(2),**_ _can't promise I'll keep the chapters long like that because they vary all the time. And don't worry, I'll enlighten people what's actually going on with that 'assignment', in chapter 11._

 _Far too kind,_ _ **oovoo javer,**_ _I'm happy you share the same thoughts I actually have while writing. I actually despise that kind of a behavior and I wouldn't even want to speak to a person like that but Sakura is another matter haha She's a hero... and a woman. Both of these traits are gonna be quite useful in the fight._

 _Hell yeah, it's sad,_ _ **Misaki Murakami.**_ _But, you know, upset Sakura is not the most unusual outcome she gets after a collision with Sasuke._

 _Thanks for yet another review,_ _ **Riela.**_ _As you made sure yourself, Sasuke's missing here but you'll have him back in the 10th part. No worries._


	10. Double Feed

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in it.**

* * *

 **X.**

 **\- Double Feed* -**

Heart pounding, Sakura's eyes almost blurred at the sight. No light was illuminating through any of the windows. Darkness loomed over and although the metallic skies had finally started to come down in the shape of a quiet patter an hour ago, Sakura paid it no mind, letting the water soak her clothes. How inconvenient, if she knew she'd end up here, she wouldn't put on a dress. She and Ino usually went out after a training and showering at the gym and that's why she always brought clothes for the case.

Stopping only to look up for any signs of movement or life, thoughts rushed into her head and the dread already clenched her chest like a vice.

 _What happened to your dignity?_

She ran to the front door but found it to be locked.

 _You made a promise to yourself. To grow up. To value what you've become._

A moment hesitation held her back before she smashed open the door with her elbow. Strong, dull pain let out the breath from her lungs and it blinded her for the next seconds.

 _You don't even see how low you've fallen, no wonder he called you a slut._

Fortunately, the only broken thing was the locker.

"Sasuke!" She called out, voice trembling. "Where are you?"

The house was as quiet and as dark as ever but Sakura ran directly up the stairs, her eyes already adjusting to the dark.

 _Look at you, crawling back as if it's your life you're in a hurry to save._

"Sasuke, do you hear me?" She groped about, finding the way to his room.

 _Do you know what's funny? You wouldn't have been in a hurry if it was your life you fought for. You know that, right? I hope you do._

Her shaking hands opened the door just to see him raising the gun to his temple.

"No!" Sakura wailed, raising her hand but he pulled the trigger.

The moment prolonged in a way, Sakura waited for the deafening sound of the shot but instead, a stifled clack was all that reached her ears. Then... silence. Sakura still didn't dare breathe or move. What happened? The gun must've jammed because there was no real shot.

If the breaking of a heart had a sound it surely was going to be of falling raindrops. There was no shot but he pulled the trigger nevertheless. Perhaps it was the weather, perhaps the people or her job but humanity had never seemed so desperate to her at that very moment. The last days of her life portrayed vividly the grotesque of existence she and the ones around her imitated.

It was a vast, calm sea but somehow everyone drowned. And she wanted to reach for someone, not save for it was impossible for a drowned man to save another but to offer a hand so that the world doesn't remain the lonely place it has always been, until the end. The pulled trigger spoke enough to her. Still not sure whether ending your life was a demonstration of weakness or of strength, Sakura tried to shake off the horror of a realization. Although not physically, she witnessed the first loss of a patient in her care.

A puff of amusement wrested out of his chest.

"Even my gun betrays me."

Sasuke held the gun up to the light and examined it as if nothing happened. His position in front of the window allowed Sakura to discern a bit more than a silhouette. In any other time, the drumming of the water drops on the glass would've cheered her up because she used to love rain but not now. Now the sound crawled underneath her skin and unsettled her mind like never before.

"Double feed..." Sasuke's voice was soaked with disappointment. "Rare."

He removed the magazine and pulled the slide once, then twice. The rounds fell down, the brass creating a ringing echo when they hit the concrete. Sakura made a few slow, insecure steps toward the window. If God didn't favor him, she didn't know whom he favored. The cartridge hasn't made its way out, clutching with another that didn't allow the gunshot to happen.

"Let's see if it's rare enough."

"Please." Sakura pleaded quietly.

Sasuke reinserted the magazine and reloaded.

"Do you not care about all the pain you'll cause?" Stepping in the faint light next to him, she searched for his eyes.

"Pain?" He said through clenched teeth, lowering the hammer. "To whom? The neighbors?"

"You have friends among the people you think enemies," Sakura whispered, hand reaching for his but he aimed at her forehead at lightning speed.

"Step away or I'll shoot you first. Leech." Dark flames burned within his eyes and Sakura raised her hands up. "I've had enough of impostors and liars."

"Fine. Shoot." Sakura spoke shakily, looking him in the eyes. "Nobody knows I'm here."

"Any last words?" He narrowed eyes.

Sakura's heart pounded against her chest while she tried to normalize her breathing and form a sentence.

"I don't know... what everyone else wants from you." Her trembling hands took the gun and slowly lowered it down until it aimed at her heart. "But I'm not here to take, I am here to give."

"You don't understand a thing." He muttered under his breath. "I'll end this once and for all."

"This is not going to solve anything." Sakura tried to use her softest tone, a mirthless smile on her lips. "You are stronger than this."

"You don't know anything about me!" He pushed the gun at her palpitating heart, his voice so harsh that she made a small step backward.

Her hands touched the edge of a wooden cupboard somewhere close behind her. One more step back and she could find herself cornered. What frightened her most was that she came with no plan. Even if she had thought of something before entering that room, her head was now empty.

The rage twisted his features into a grimace of pain.

"You don't know where I've been... or what I've seen." His hand caught her neck and clenched around it. "Don't think you can come here and do as you please."

Sakura felt the shortness of breath immediately but forced her hands to stand still beside her. Fighting him back wasn't what she wanted to state.

"I didn't come to compare with you." Scarcely breathing, Sakura managed another whisper. "I just want you to live."

"What do you care if I'll live or not?" His force triggered her instinct and she felt the urge to wrench out from his grip but instead, her hands rested on his gently.

"You said it..." She inhaled with difficulty. "...yourself. I hate to lose. I am not losing you."

"You are nothing to me!" Sasuke backed away from her, furious. "Nothing."

Sakura leaned on the window for a second, trying to catch a breath.

"I hate you." He continued his vehement remarks, shooting at her with every word. "You make me sick."

"Hate me..." Although he burned with anger, Sakura forced herself to get near again, looking up to his eyes. "But don't take away your life."

Hands shaking, she reached for the gun in his hand. The only sounds in the room were the muffled rain and their breathing, uneven and shallow. Whatever he thought of, it wasn't benevolent and she could feel it but now was not the time to give up. Right when she was so close. Not until he decided to loosen his grip on the gun (after what seemed to her an eternity), she took it from his hand and immediately stepped back, meaning to leave it carefully on the cupboard. It didn't look like it in his hand but it was rather heavy and she had to be honest with herself, a tingle of fear went through her for a moment.

Never having the opportunity to hold a device with which one could take away a life, her nervousness increased vastly when such a device fell into her hands. Naturally, she hurried to get rid of it as fast as she could, placing it at a safe distance. Hands hovering over it, she swallowed down and tried to remove that dire feeling lingering within, as if a single touch to the metal was all it was needed to corrupt her. Weapons were the one thing she harbored deep detestation for. Good thing she managed to separate this one from its owner.

The sudden near presence startled her and she shifted away. Sasuke grabbed the gun again but only to let the hammer down and slam it back on the surface hard enough for Sakura to flinch. Her nerves were so tensed that she feared her body was near a collapse, heart still pounding vigorously. Every sense of hers was so sharpened that a single touch could break her down. And it almost did.

Sasuke turned her chin, forcing her to look his way. The light was insufficient for her to see or read his expression. On the other hand, the pupils of her light moss eyes were widened in fright. He stood still as if testing her endurance but something about his body language and the way he had tensed hinted her that he was amidst a battle of his own, though he was better at hiding it than her.

"What are you doing here?" His imperative tone returned.

It had the incredible ability to transform everything he said into a striking accusation, imposing guilt in the process. Sakura was close to tears due to the massive weakness that now enveloped her under his judgmental gaze.

"How did you even come in, did you break the door?" Sasuke narrowed eyes, letting her go.

Sakura stood as if frozen, her mind trying to find an explanation but when it found none her eyes dropped down in defeat.

"I...I-I will pay for the... damage." Sakura paused, glancing up at him for a second. "Once I save up enough money."

Sasuke heaved a heavy sigh. It was more of exhaustion than anything else but Sakura didn't move from her spot, afraid that any movement would abuse his fragile composure and easily trigger his anger.

"You can't just break through my door," He stepped closer, voice down. "and change my plans like that. Who do you think you are?"

Amazed how terrifically insignificant their height difference made her feel, Sakura succeeded in forming a simple yet versatile answer. Thinking about the consequences after it was beyond her at the moment.

"I'm... your doctor."

She had assigned herself to take care of him without knowing it, that was the truth. Why, she still hadn't comprehended fully. Darkness had always attracted her... not the type of darkness that hurt but the one that you can rest in.

"I don't want your pity."

Sasuke's voice was clear and cutting. Sakura already got used to it, though, it didn't bother her as much it did previously. What bothered her more was the lack of space between them.

"Pity?" She asked absentmindedly, eyes raising to find his already fixed on her. "How about compassion? Do you like the word better?"

"Keep your compassion for yourself." Sasuke retorted. "I don't want anything from you."

"I will leave," Sakura announced firmly. "I have only one condition before I do that."

"I'm listening."

"I'll take the gun."

"I'd rather die than give it to you."

Sakura made a pause.

"I'll stay here then."

"So brave," Sasuke commented. "You don't want to test me."

"Give me the gun."

A light smile appeared on his lips. Apparently, her stubbornness amused him greatly. Sakura couldn't believe it but her strategy worked. He seemed to enjoy competition, so she used it as a distraction. Reading between the lines was of greatest importance with him, she understood it just now. Better late than never.

"What are you gonna do, stay here for hours?" He mocked her. "Don't you have other patients... to be compassionate to?"

"My shift is over." Sakura shrugged. "I can stay here until 8 am tomorrow."

"And if I try to kill you?"

Sakura remained silent, her eyes narrowing. The lump in her throat stopped her from answering right away. She didn't want to sound weak, she didn't want her voice to crack in defeat. But her eyes betrayed her, filling up with tears.

"Then I'll die," She drawled. "Trying to redeem you."

 _What?_ Her mind continued the conversation, although he sank into a loud silence, one of those only he could create. As if he shouted out but without a sound. _You don't think you deserve redemption? Or you're too proud to admit you need it?_

A shiver ran down her spine, the wet clothes had cooled down her body faster than she expected. But that quickly faded away, her attention sharpened again.

Sasuke reached for her face, his thumb traced her jawline with a slow movement. That void within her, the one she thought hollow, long dead, suddenly felt like a gaping wound. A void that searched for a way to be filled. And she knew there was no way she could reject that want. He wouldn't, that was already clear to her. His determination was in excess and that slightly worried her. Whatever his intentions, she needed to stop the disintegration of his soul before it was too late.

Before she could decide how to respond so that it doesn't appear pushy or untimely, Sasuke lifted her up and she easily wrapped herself around him. Not patient enough to wait for him to carry her to the bed, she leaned in to kiss him. A rehearsal kiss. Of course, they parted briefly for the change of paints... or rather getting rid of them for once.

The adjusting seemed to take an awful amount of time, magnetizing the space between them even more. The fact that neither of them was actually much of a talker imperceptibly rose the tension. In the battle of patience, though, she most definitely won. He slid down her tights while she unbuttoned his shirt, both eager to get rid of whatever clothes they had on. The only inconvenience remained the nipping cold air but the problem was quickly coped with, they covered themselves with the sheets soon after. Sakura felt the gentle touch of the soft sheets beneath along with the harsh one above her. She tentatively offered to wrap her legs around him and he accepted immediately, the motion sending an unpleasant shiver down her spine, her stomach shrinking with a tinge of uneasiness. Their body types were just so unfitting. It did matter, however funny that thought seemed. At least one thing was for sure, he was in no way going to spare her.

So be it, he could have her body, her skin as the morphine he refused to take artificially.

The way their bodies united at first was rather unexpected. She exhaled sharply as he pressed down on her ravenously. Then again... and again. Careless and cruel, as if she didn't matter. The immense pain drew the breath out of her lungs and she writhed underneath him, clenched. Her hands couldn't push him away for every time she did he pinned them down easily.

"Sasuke," She beseeched amidst the burning pain he caused her.

"Isn't that..." He spoke in her ear, something of a triumph in his tone. "...what you wanted?"

"Please," Sakura begged, voice shaking and tears blurring her vision against her will because his grip was iron and it seemed his heart didn't know the mercy she sought. But... that just meant nobody had offered it to him before.

 _"Sasuke,"_ Voice faltering into a caress, she made a final attempt, this time her hands reaching for his face. Her fingers brushed through his hair as she heaved up to place a tender kiss on his lips, hers curving in a forced smile. "This is not you."

Her words surely fazed him because he froze completely for a moment, forehead almost touching hers. She slightly tilted her head, patiently waiting for his reaction. The pause extended as they both stood still in the dark.

"Slow down, alright?" Sakura wearied, pulling him into another kiss, this time intertwining their tongues. The touch, thankfully, was nothing like the ones before and she allowed herself to breathe him in freely.

Wondrously, Sasuke obeyed and within the first time he thrust into her, a gasp escaped her lips and broke their kiss. Her torso slightly arched alongside his, finally able to feel something else than pain. Spasms started spreading through her body and she wreathed tighter around his waist. He repeated, a simultaneous moan escaping from their lips. If she wasn't so close, she wouldn't have felt the light shudder that went through him as her fingers squeezed the only spot on his skin that wasn't exposed... on purpose. He did a fine job with hiding the pain he caused to himself every time he leaned on his right hand. Sakura tried to avoid causing any additional pressure to his shoulder but it wasn't like she didn't want him to feel something close to what he did to her minutes ago. Just once.

"You deserved it." Sakura mouthed, trying to catch her breath.

"Damn you." His voice softened vastly at the end, with the thrill of another push.

His lips traced the line of her neck down to its base, where her collarbones met and her skin was most sensitive. Bittersweet sensations overflowed Sakura's senses, body protesting at the amount of pressure and straining she put it through for the second time this day. Only that time she burned with dim ardor, craving for the sweet ache Sasuke granted her with. The warmth his skin emanated soaked as if through hers and she welcomed whatever came along with it. Their scents intermingled, light fragrance and heavy musk, so strong that their combination had become a discernible taste in their mouths.

Ecstatic shivers ran down her spine as he pressed her down at waves with controlled force, not too slow but not too fast. Sakura couldn't believe his delicacy, almost sure that he had taken her humble request for an order. The closer and deeper he got the measured his movements became. His hand inspected thoroughly the curve of her breast, slid down the smooth line of her waist and by the time he had reached the soft skin on her hips, her skin had pricked, susceptible to the touch. Grinding her body to his, silent admiration for his perfect appearance deafened her thoughts. The navy blue might've looked picturesque on him but he sure was a masterpiece without it.

Her strength began to leave her with the multiple attacks she received simultaneously, pain and pleasure blending in one impossible cycle. Every strain of her thighs came with a sour, unpleasant sensation that almost made her groan but then again, every time it did, Sasuke's voice echoed in her ears with a low and compelling weakness that scattered away her discomfort. It was such a relief he kept a slow pace, at times forcible but never enough to hurt her. Yielding, Sakura almost smiled because he tried hard to keep up with the image he created for himself but it was of no use because the gentle touch came to him so naturally that it betrayed him right away. He clearly wasn't as cold and certainly not as reserved as he claimed to be and it amused her a lot more than it had to. Well, he probably was like that with every woman out there but... you don't touch someone you've wanted dead fifteen minutes ago like that, do you? The thought remained open but was soon replaced by another.

Breathing heavy, she completely relaxed for a second and succeeded in confounding him.

A minx smile appeared on her lips as she forced herself to stay still despite the vigorous pulsing between her legs. It seems it had the wanted effect because he turned to find her lips again.

"What the hell are you doing?"

Sakura smirked as he growled angrily, in need of her cooperation. How big of an ego was the one he had was the question circling in her head. She wondered if he'd get low enough to beg. Not that he couldn't ravish his way through her and get what he wanted, it just wasn't exactly the same. What they did, to his great inconvenience, required a symbiosis of two.

 _"Sakura,"_ Sasuke grumbled with impatience, his breathing just as heavy as hers.

She gave up on her small experiment, certain that that was as sadistic as she could ever get. Quick to reply, Sakura heaved up her hips against his - a supple, insignificant movement but it hit the mark because wrested a moan out of him, one that he failed to suppress. So... that was it. Reiterating, Sakura relished on his, at last, genuine reactions, joining in with her own. Now that their voices echoed simultaneously, her fervor returned with unrelenting force.

"You need to stop..." Sasuke started a sentence but couldn't bring himself to finish it, his hand rested on her hip ready to push her away. "I shouldn't..."

Sakura wrinkled for a second but quickly made up her mind.

"It's fine." She managed to form the words in between the quiet cries that escaped her lips until a convulsion didn't quake her at the sound of his voice letting out a strangled moan.

Her mind dazed with the delightful warmth that spread inside of her and for an indefinite amount of time she couldn't feel anything else except the throbbing of her own body. All the tension they've built dissolved at an instant and all that remained was the consistent pour of the rain outside.

Gradually, their panting faded to normal breathing and soon they could hear themselves think straight again. Sakura made a faint attempt to shift under him, hands slightly pressing his chest but he protested, demanding her to stay still for a few moments more. A tad confused, she relaxed back and waited. One thing was for sure, he had forgotten how a human touch felt like. She couldn't find any other reason for him to act like that. He could've sent her away or hurt her in various ways but his final choice, mildly said, astounded her. It wasn't like he couldn't get that from any female he took a liking in.

"Better?" Sakura whispered as he parted from her with a slow movement.

Instead of answering he scoffed, turning his back on her and relaxing on the pillow to his side. The sudden lack of warmth Sakura felt came along with a realization that hit her like a train. Of course, he didn't want to have anything in common with her. She was only a tool.

The thought only was enough to upset her immensely in a short time and tears blurred her eyes. Sakura turned to the other side, palm under her head. Alright... she couldn't stop them this time. They streamed down her eyes, wetting the pillow. Being a daily witness to truly horrible things, she didn't believe she'd come to tears because of something as casual as that. Obvious, even.

Her heart was heavy and her chest tight with all the things she wanted to express, along with a feeling that crushed her down for quite some time. She denied it, tucking it aside, pretending it didn't exist, pretending it was an idea, a figment of her mind that she had accidentally created in order to lend a color to her colorless life. But the pain it brought was completely real. And it was an unknown pain, one that she didn't know how to treat.

So it was true then... she was in love.

A quiet sob tore away from her and she covered her face with hands. What did she fall into?

The unexpected touch startled her and she held her breath. Sasuke slipped his hand down her toned stomach and pulled her back until their bodies pressed to one another. Sakura's eyes went to and fro in confusion. Resisting the urge to turn around, she exhaled with the idea of calming herself down but her breath came out shattered anyway. Prepared for rejection, her trembling hands made a tentative attempt to rest on his that now enveloped her delicate form. Sasuke tensed, at first, but she didn't give up and after a while, he eased. Second after second, exhaustion dragged her down and drowsiness took over her as her aching body relaxed by his skin... He was probably unaware of its overwhelming effect on her.

Sakura stood still for a long time, listening to his calm breathing and a bitter, invisible in the shadow of the dying day smile curved her lips. She had just found her new favorite sound.

* * *

 _ *****_ _With a double feed you have a round in the chamber and another round is attempting to be loaded into the chamber behind it causing the two bullets to push up against each other and jam the gun_ _, withholding it from firing._

* * *

 _A/N: Thanks a lot for reading! There was this song I listened to a month ago. One line from there went like "You said love's like watching someone die" and I instantly thought about Sakura and Sasuke and that's practically the line that inspired this chapter (Walk Alone by PVRIS for those who wonder) Honestly, Sasuke is super savage but Sakura's like, crazy enough to put up with him. Poor Sakura._ _Also, Kakashi's coming next time. Pffft, finally._

 _You're being too kind,_ _ **The Orchestra Dork,**_ _but thank you, nevertheless. It's exactly what I wanted to do, transform them into real people, real enough for people to relate to them. Sasuke is a really tough case but at least Sakura sees a light in the tunnel there haha._

 _ **k. chervenkova** , __I see what you were concerned about. I thought Ino's reaction would be a mild disappointment because she's lightheaded and would be kind of sorry that Sakura didn't get to have her way with Sasuke the way she would and at the same time secretly wanting to have Sasuke for herself. I won't have them fight over him in my fanfic but that's what I imagined she'd have as a reaction. That was why her first thought was "perhaps he's not interested in your type of body". Ino thinks 'bodies', Sakura thinks 'souls'. *sighs* Yeah, you're right and I had to give more details and what's happened in Sakura's mind but I thought skipping it and mentioning a few things in the beginning of this chapter wouldn't be as boring. I think the few sentences cleared up that Sakura has had a serious process of thinking over Sasuke's words. Time for me to stop typing. Hope you liked this chapter more._

 _Thanks for leaving a review,_ _ **ria,**_ _hope you're happy with the plot development. It wasn't that unexpected, was it?_

 _Your lucky day, **Riela,** you had to wait exactly one hour to get the next chapter. Thanks for the compliment._


	11. Just Kakashi

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in it.**

* * *

 **XI.**

\- **Just Kakashi** -

It wasn't the pour of the rain outside that woke her up, it was actually a far more casual and not that unexpected reason, namely the ache of her muscles. Her whole body had transformed into one aching entity. But as soon as she opened her eyes, the pain was forgotten in an instant.

With the slowest movement, Sakura shifted until she laid on her back and set herself up to watch. What a pleasant surprise, he wasn't one of those early rising pedants after all. Sure, soldiers had to follow a regime of some kind but when not on duty, it seems everyone turned back to their real, non-robotized self. Strange, she was almost certain that he would be gone by the time she wakes up. But then again, her biological clock was appointed to wake her up early. Here it was, she had been given a chance to catch a glimpse, the answer of a previously opened question. That was what he looked like without his hatred. The sorrow, however, couldn't be erased. She understood that fact. You can only find and use distractions to divert your attention from it.

Heart fluttering, Sakura couldn't stop herself from smiling. It was quite the drastic change. Only a few days ago he glared at her and refused to have any kind of contact. Now, although still in a calm sleep, he held on her waist, their bodies as close as they could get. Sakura feared that if she moved more he'll wake up and the magic will be spoiled. Accordingly, she wouldn't be able to relish on the view as it was now.

Her cheeks had shaded to coral red only after a minute of it.

His skin radiated enough warmth to lull her back to sleep but instead, she just closed her eyes and leaned on his forehead gently. Rewinding frames from last night, she almost felt the same touch, the same taste. How did she not see through earlier? Perhaps... because he made it so hard for people to love him. She finally grew to understand the language he spoke, previously not aware that she's been too loud to hear what he was saying.

He breathed in a slow and quiet rhythm but the pattern broke and she knew he had woken up, or almost woken up because he took a deeper breath, his grip around her tightening. Sakura bit her lip, the smile creeping on her lips as he rested his head in the curve of her neck.

She couldn't resist the urge and turned enough to face him, noses touching.

"Stop moving." He growled in a low voice, only making her smile widen.

"Stop sleeping." She teased in a whisper.

"Shut up."

"I'm serious." Sakura chuckled. "I'll be forced to lay here for ten more hours if you fall asleep again."

"Fine." Sasuke furrowed, about to push her away but Sakura didn't let him, attaching anew.

"I was joking." She gave him a sad smile once his eyes opened. "You can sleep, I'll keep it quiet."

Sasuke looked at her silently. There was heavy confusion in his eyes as if her behavior was out of every existent logic he was acquainted with. It only deepened with every second and by the time she had decided to kiss him it turned into general bewilderment.

"What's wrong?" Sakura breathed out, slowly shifting over him.

Their kiss just deepened when Sasuke exchanged their places abruptly, pinning her hands.

"Don't." He peered into her eyes with anger.

Sakura slightly tilted her head in wonder.

"Why?"

One thing was for certain, he wasn't prepared for that question and this time the darkness couldn't hide that fact. Even if he was prepared, his eyes gave away that the answer was far more complicated to just form it into a single sentence. So he quickly found an escape.

"Because I say so." Sasuke snapped, moving away from her.

Sakura was at a loss. What did she do wrong, again?

He uncovered from the sheets and started dressing up while she heaved up to a sitting position. She wanted to say something but couldn't find the words. Words didn't quite work with him, she learned her lesson well. That state... he was unreachable once again. Unable to comprehend how she had breached through the defenses last night, Sakura wrinkled at him. It was as if he showed her the truth and then condemned it as a lie. That was inhuman, what he did.

"Sasuke," She whispered, reaching for his hand but he recoiled as if her touch burned him.

"Don't try..." He fumed, glaring at her, "to make me soft."

"What's so wrong with soft?" Sakura raised her intonation, baffled at his obstinacy.

"Soft is weak."

He stood up, picking up his shirt from the floor in the process.

"I don't mean to-"

"Stay away from me." Sasuke cut her off masterfully and looked away.

He wouldn't admit it, then. That he was fully subservient to her wish because he needed her. Good, she didn't need a vocal confirmation because she remembered, to the detail. How could he still claim that he despised her when her body was fused with his just a few hours ago and she felt everything. There was no malevolence in his touch, not a single drop. Which proved his current behavior as falsified and it pained her to know that fact.

Sakura swallowed down the bitterness that was now rising inside of her. It was getting worse with every second so she figured her presence was no longer required. She got out of the bed and dressed up slowly, gathering her things. In the process, her thoughts turned against her and tried to come up with an explanation. Normal human beings didn't act like that, did they? How did this one even succeed in making its way into her heart? Though, it was rather... through her heart.

When she finally stopped in front of him, her eyes were blurred.

"Am I a threat to you? Is that why you're so afraid?" Her voice trembled, fingers reaching for his face but he averted, refusing to look at her.

"Leave my house."

Sakura was about to reconcile with the situation, starting to leave, when his voice made her stop once again.

"Make sure no one sees you."

A mirthless laugh wrested out of her as she left his room and headed straight out.

 _Make sure no one sees you?_

What was she, a prostitute? Was that what he said in the mornings? To all the wretched souls that have had the misfortune, or she would rather call it damnation send from the heavens, a divine punishment, to end up entangled in his deceiving charm and phony touch. God knew how many have fallen to his trap and have taken delight in it. Just as she did.

Sakura slammed the door to her car and stared at the air in front of her with pure rage. Anger obsessed her, so uncontrollable and uncontainable that tears fell from her eyes, despite her want to break or destroy something.

What a demonstration of grand stupidity.

 _Fine._

If he wanted to play dirty, so be it. She didn't have to involve herself into his dramatic performances but she did, for his own good. And he didn't appreciate that.

She heaved a deep sigh, passing a hand over her eyes in order to wipe away the tears that fell from them. Another thought crept into her mind as the only consolation she could find among the ice desolation he left her in. He could have her crying at the other side of his expensive bed all night but he didn't. At least she could be certain that he understood what impact had his actions on her and used it as a way to show dominance. She was the one who needed him, not the other way around.

As if... she was the one thinking straight from both of them.

Sakura put on her safety belt.

Let's see who needed who, in the end.

* * *

The day prolonged as she took care of a patient after a patient without taking any liking in it, as she previously did. The anger was still lingering within her, keeping her restless at all times. She couldn't even sit on her chair for more than a few minutes. The antagonism of what should be and it was in her heart ripped her apart. He had taken the shape of everything she most despised in a person and right when her thoughts went as far as to administer the punishment he deserved, her heart shrunk with pain, replacing her fervor with bitterness. She had never gotten the chance to hear her own name spoken in such way and her mind kept reminding her of the occurrence. His voice was branded on her and it frustrated her that her most blazing wrath was not able to erase it.

"What's up?" Ino dashed in, startling her as always.

"Stop doing that." Sakura fumed, exhaling in exasperation. "Learn some manners, will you?"

Ino leaned on her desk, raising a brow. Her gaze quickly fell on a small opened up box in particular, one that rested next to Sakura's elbow.

"These are really bad for your health." Ino shared, in the most casual tone. "I mean... really bad. They completely mess you up. You better use the normal birth control ones next time."

Sakura dragged the box and put it in her pocket without raising her eyes off the documents in front of her. Ino gave her an inquisitive look as she sat on the desk and leaned in order to get her friend's attention. After Sakura appeared uninterested in her comical equilibrist-like movements, she laid herself completely, forcing Sakura to lean back in her chair with a tired expression.

"I'm not gonna interrogate you, don't give me that face." Ino leaned on her palm with a smirk.

"Why don't you get off my desk and leave me to work? I promised these to Tsunade until the end of the day."

"Don't leave me in the dark," Ino warned. "Alright. Let's use the good old decimal system. One to ten?"

Sakura gave out a tormented sigh, hands covering her face for a moment.

"Do you want the truth?" She mumbled.

"Of course I want the truth."

Hands down, Sakura took a deep breath and met Ino's eyes.

"I think I might have to invent a new scale for this one."

"What you mean?" Ino straightened up a bit, furrowing. "In a good way or a bad way?"

"I mean, I could've given him a solid twelve if he didn't try to kill me at the beginning."

"I knew it!" Ino jumped off the desk. _"I knew it."_

"You better get lost. Now." Sakura barely finished the sentence when her phone rang and she waved at Ino to get lost.

"Stop yelling." Sakura scolded as she picked up.

Ino mouthed a silent _I'll come back_ before leaving the office with the happiest face.

"The office of Doctor Haruno, how can I help?"

The pause made Sakura drag the receiver and look at it for a second, making sure there wasn't anything wrong with it.

 _"Fix my life."_

"Well, you have found the right place, sir." Sakura couldn't help but chuckle at the unstudied tone, despite the fact that the conversation was led by two strangers so far.

 _"Oh, I always do."_

There was a heavy undertone in that remark and Sakura leaned back in her chair. The humor was the glaze. There were a lot of layers underneath. She loved this kind of people, they were simultaneously tough opponents and at the same time complicated, in an intriguing way.

"Alright. You must be one of these Elite Soldiers."

 _"Good thinking. Keep it up."_

"Is that a confirmation?"

 _"You are smart enough to reach the answer without hints. I want to hear the process."_

"Do we know each other? "

 _"No."_

"So you are an Elite Soldier?"

A puff of amusement took the place of a usual reply this time and Sakura furrowed.

"Is that a test?"

 _"Think of it as a game."_

"I haven't heard your voice before." She thought out loud. "I haven't met you."

 _"Your first thought was that I'm an Elite Soldier. Why?"_

"Because..." Sakura narrowed eyes. "The way you talk."

 _"The way I talk?"_

"Yes." She drawled. "Like you know things. You are an Elite Soldier, aren't you?"

This time a sincere laughter rang out from the other side and Sakura was even more confused.

 _"Wouldn't be a game if I tell you."_

"Do you have a name, sir?"

 _"Do you have... a minute?"_

"Depends."

 _"If you do, feel free to come. I'm sitting in the restaurant across your hospital."_

He hung up but Sakura was, mildly said, bemused. That was something entirely different from what she's heard. Curiosity started gnawing at her in the moment she placed the receiver back in its place. Could be a trap but didn't sound much like it. If it was, it wouldn't have been so cordial.

Sakura looked at her watch and bit her lower lip.

Allowing herself a break now wasn't the best idea but a little distraction could turn out great for her overburdened mind. Why not give it a try?

* * *

In the moment she neared the sitting places, her body nailed in place. Thankfully, she wasn't the only one astounded because at least a dozen people had their eyes on the man that stood upright next to a table with his hands in the back. Multiple questions rose inside of her as she tilted her head, scrutinizing the strange view. Did he really have to stand like that, intimidating the citizens with his pompous appearance? Moreover, there was a mask hiding half of his face, along with a dark band that covered his left eye. As if it couldn't get any more mysterious than that. At least one of the questions was answered, he was, without a doubt, from the military. The posture gave him away. The uniform was far more striking, though. Especially the row of three medals and... the insignia.

Sakura scoffed.

Close but not close enough. Four lines and a star. Sasuke had three on his. How did it not cross her mind earlier?

She walked to him slowly and stopped at a safe distance, feeling his gaze on her.

"Are you following me, sir?"

"If you feel followed, then I assume you've committed a crime of which I don't wanna know." He paused. "I just wanted a meeting."

"You made it sound far more complicated on the phone... Captain."

The skin around his only visible eye slightly wrinkled, enough to let her know he was smiling.

"Correct." He nodded. "But please do not refer to me with the title."

"I'd love to have a name then." Sakura shrugged.

"Hatake Kakashi. Pleased to finally meet you."

"Haruno Sakura." She slowed down vastly at the end because he didn't shake her hand, as she had prepared to, but instead held it above his. Interesting. "Finally?"

"Yes." He went to her side and pulled the chair. "I'd like to discuss the matter while sitting. If you don't mind."

If he kept using medieval tricks, she could actually sink into the ground. The shiny armor was at hand, what was next, a carriage?

"Thank you." She murmured, sitting down.

Once he sat across her, his hands intertwined on the table and for a moment he just looked at her.

"Did anyone tell you you have the loveliest hair?"

Sakura almost burst into laughter but the biting of her lip stopped her from doing so.

"Is that why you asked for a meeting? So that you can make fun of me?" A game smile appeared on Sakura's lips.

"I was being completely honest." Kakashi's expression didn't change and Sakura's smile faded right away.

"Oh. Forgive me." Her eyes fell down as she felt the heat rising to her cheeks. "No, no one has ever told me that. Everyone thinks it's funny."

"It's not." He assured her.

"I see you suffer from melanin degradation too." She was about to save that observation to herself but couldn't help it, now, as he opened the subject. His silvery hair was way too salient for it to be natural. As much as she could see, he was far too young to have his hair completely faded to that color.

"Yeah." He sighed. "But let's not talk about me, I'm here to talk about you."

"I only..." She intervened and he waited out to hear the end of her sentence before continuing. "Wish to see your face. I like to be able to look at people when I'm talking with them."

For the first time, she caught a glimpse of confusion in him. Unlike anyone she had ever met, he was quite expressive, even when he didn't realize it.

"Is that a problem?" She slightly tilted her head.

"It might be, for you." He replied, matter-of-factly, which brought a wide smile on Sakura's face.

"Quite ambiguous." Was he _flirting_? Sakura couldn't believe it. It's been... five minutes since they met. "Why is that?"

"I don't usually take these off." Speaking word by word, he leaned back in his chair.

"Would you make an exception? Only this time." Sakura tried to keep a calm intonation but actually, curiosity had gotten the best of her. Why would he hide his face like that?

The way he stared at her hinted that what she wished for was probably against his will but in the end, he heaved a heavy sigh and reached to lower his mask.

"All of it," Sakura ordered, the smile still creeping on her lips.

Kakashi obeyed and, although reluctantly, took the band off, revealing a vertical scar that slashed through the most part of his left side. What concerned more was his left eye, covered with a pallid veil.

"Does that satisfy you?" He looked at her, inquiring.

Her expression was withering with every second until her eyes appeared slightly dimmed.

"I am so sorry." Sakura wrinkled, trying to contain the self-loathing that swelled in her. "I had no idea."

"People are usually repelled by scars so I spare them the inconvenience of having to look at one all the time when I'm-"

"I am not repelled by scars." Sakura raised her eyes to his, cutting him off. "I don't mind them at all."

Kakashi smiled at her, a smile of gratitude. Just now she was able to see his features as a whole. There was something very attractive in him but his beauty wasn't intrusive or one that frightened with complete lack of flaws, it was rather... soft. Perhaps that was where the charm came from. He surely had passed his thirties, the confidence along with the peace of mind he obviously acquired was in no way achievable for any of her coevals.

"Can you see anything?" She whispered, certain that he'll understand what she referred to.

"I wouldn't say _no_ but it's not exactly _yes_ either."

"I understand."

"So. Now that I can talk freely, I should start with my gratitude for you. You've taken care of my First Lieutenant and he's alive because of you."

The color in Sakura's face disappeared with the mention of him.

"Something wrong?" Kakashi raised a brow.

"No. Of course, not."

He narrowed eyes at her, suspicious.

"I must... apologize, on his behalf."

Sakura waited out to see what he was going to say, although her mind was already in a turmoil.

"Three days ago, I assigned my First Lieutenant on a mission. I wouldn't call it mission because it was rather a request." Kakashi made a pause, expecting external outbursts but when he got none, decided to continue. "He was supposed to measure your abilities and draw a conclusion, in the end. Whether you're capable for the position."

"Yeah, that didn't end well. Tell your First Lieutenant to watch his tongue next time." Sakura rested her elbows on the table.

"I understand he wasn't as delicate as I hoped he would be," Kakashi muttered. " Should've seen it coming."

"May I ask what this is about? What position?"

"I'd like to have you."

Sakura fixed her eyes on him in surprise.

"In my team, that is." Kakashi hurried to add, although judging from his composed state that last mistake was not quite a mistake.

"In your team?" Sakura repeated slowly, generally confused. "Me? I'm a doctor."

"Exactly."

"But... I'm not trained to be a... a field medic." She scoffed. "This is absurd."

"It's up to you. I'll provide you with the needed information. You will be trained and ready by the time we leave."

Sakura caught her head in hands. That was way too great of decision for one to make on a table, in the break. Field medic? Field... medic? She was about to go to an unfamiliar place, where the chances of survival dropped to the minimum and she was supposed to save lives in these conditions.

But then again, if she was wanted in a team of Elite Soldiers, then there was nobody else he could take. Perhaps the matters were pressing and he was desperate.

"What happens if I accept?" Sakura asked, meeting his searching gaze.

"You will start the training immediately. I wouldn't be able to be at your service but I'll get someone to train you. I'm sure Naruto would love to help."

"And?"

"You have the medical knowledge. We'll give you the field one."

"Meaning I'll have to become a soldier," Sakura added to his sentence.

Kakashi nodded.

Holding a gun. Firing with a gun. Taking away a life... if she has to. All these things she wanted to avoid now were brought down on her. Why now and why her?

"And why did you fix on me, Captain?" Sakura tucked aside her intrusive thoughts, promising to let them take over after she goes back home.

"Just Kakashi."

"I can quote," Sakura continued, passing by his words. " _I don't think you're even near to good enough. You are a disaster._ "

"Between you and me," Kakashi sighed. "He was against taking new medics when I shared with him the idea. I persuaded him, in the end, but he wasn't particularly happy about it. When I shared it with Naruto..."

"What?" Sakura incited him to finish.

She didn't particularly like how casually he shared the way three men have discussed her without her even knowing. Did they think stalking and following was something perfectly regular? Because the one in front of her sure sounded like it. If she didn't know they were Konoha's Special Forces she would've called the police before even nearing that table.

"He suggested we take you. And a woman with the name Yamanaka Ino."

"So I'm practically rejected by your First Lieutenant but your Second wants me."

"Correct."

"Whose opinion weighs more?"

"Mine." Kakashi smiled warmly.

"And if I don't want to join? What then?"

"I'll have to turn my back on a strong inner conviction."

Sakura raised a brow.

"I have this feeling, that you are the perfect addition for me. I mean, for my team."

Sakura couldn't help but laugh out loud. It wouldn't have been that funny if he didn't say everything in the same tone. Kakashi pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket and started searching for a pen but Sakura was faster and provided him with one from her bag.

"Take my number." He wrote down the numbers and handed the note to her, along with the pen.

"Thank you."

"Think about it and... let me know what would your decision be."

"Of course." Sakura drawled, glancing at her watch. "I'm afraid I have to go."

"Leaving already?" Kakashi almost accused her. "Am I that bad?"

Sakura stood up, a smirk on her lips.

"I have my duty, sir. Would be disgraceful to refuse help to a human being just because I've been busy drinking tea with a stranger."

"I take it you don't drink coffee, then," Kakashi commented, his eyes inspecting her body most insolently.

"Have a good day, Captain."

"Kakashi."

"I'll let you know what I've decided." Sakura nodded at him and turned to leave, completely sure that his eyes were on her long after they parted.

* * *

 _A/N: Ok, so. Captains usually lead companies (80-150) and Lieutenants lead platoons (15-30). We assume Sasuke is leading the Elite-Soldier-Platoon but Kakashi's with the higher authority. I'm not sure Captains stick with one team for long (the way I write it) and I'm positive this is not how things work but you guys will forgive that unauthentic little detail. I kinda messed up the rankings. If we just accept that in my AU Kakashi's some kind of a special Captain that only takes care of the Special Forces and is not concerned with hundred more units, everything will be fine. I had one job._

 _Apart from that, thank you for reading! I'll be back as soon as I can. This chapter is quite dialogue-heavy and I hope people don't mind that. Also, there's this weird thing goin' on in my family, both my grandma and mom have married men that are at least 10 years older than them (accordingly 11 and 13) so don't blame me for shipping KakaSaku. It's in my blood. XD Anyway, they're a nice combination in my opinion._

* * *

 _Thanks for the compliments,_ _ **The**_ _ **Orchestra Dork,**_ _I'm trying to get Sakura as close to the canon as I can. As for Sasuke, he's even making me mad lol. But that's him. Pouting and shouting 'till the end. As I sat and thought about him one day, I realized he's that type of person that wants to achieve everything on their own and do not accept the help of others, which is probably one of the things that keep him from Sakura. She wants to help and that's natural for her but he sees that as humiliation, that's what I think. He has it tough, though, and Sakura knows that. Hope you'll like some witty Kakashi, for a change._

 _Yes, I do,_ _ **Riela!**_ _I'm a newbie-fan because I've started listening to them about three months ago but I_ _ **love**_ _them. Every single song. But I think Walk Alone's my fav for now. Although Winter quite fits SasuSaku, too haha Glad you liked the chapter._

 _Your words mean so much to me,_ _ **Sakurabeam.**_ _*blushes* Thanks for leaving a review like that, warmed my heart and made me smile. Hope you'll like the next chapters, too._

 _Goodness,_ _ **ViridianUhiha,**_ _I was just about to publish and you write a review. You people are showering me with love here and I don't even deserve it. Thank you for complimenting me on keeping him in character! I always, always fear I'll mess him up and that's the reason I write so slowly. I literally think over everything he says and does. Sakura is not that far from me as a mindset and she's way easier. Anyway! I hope you'll be happy with the next chapter._


	12. Ready

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in it.**

* * *

 **XII.**

 **\- Ready -**

She didn't sleep that night.

Wasn't that much of a surprise for her, though. Counted it as the mental preparation she needed to go through before giving an answer. A catharsis of the mind.

Sakura stared at that black spot on her ceiling for hours and it gnawed at her that she couldn't make a decision. It was one of the toughest she had ever faced by now. What was important for her cleared most of the doubts that attacked her. Her want to help and save lives led her, fighting off the fears. But they grew bigger and bigger with every question she brought up. Although in a laying position, her body was tensed as if put under physical pressure. The coldness didn't seem to bother her, being too frivolous of an issue at the moment.

 _What if someone died because she's not there in time?_

The fact that she hasn't been through such a mistake before only bothered her more.

 _What if someone dies because she's not prepared?_

It could always happen. At any time. If she's fired at and she's not able to fire back or reach the one in need.

 _What if something goes wrong and it's her fault?_

Used to take the blame upon herself, she didn't think she would survive a grand misstep of the sort. The hours passed by one by one and she couldn't find the will to overcome the dismay. The risk was so high that her head started hurting when just thinking of the all the things she could mess up.

And the team... what about them? Sakura was almost certain the predominating feelings toward her would be of pure detestation and the vibes, without a doubt, would be negative. She was a new addition to a team of orphans. It was as if breaking into a friendship with strong bonds and claiming to be a part of it, all of a sudden. Moreover, their skills were polished with years. She had to work hard. Very hard. To earn their trust... and become their equal. Did she have the strength?

It was 5:25 when she last checked the time. No sound came from outside, everything was still sunk in a deep slumber. Only that her mind wasn't. She circled around these questions for a long time and it wasn't like she didn't agree. She did and was positive that she'd accept the offer. But no motive kindled her heart. And with no motive, there was no passion and therefore, no dedication.

Spending the last twenty-three years in that village, she was provided with a chance to leave it for once. To see the world... and to what extent was it ruined. It wasn't an alluring thought but it was something different from the monotony of her days. Something new.

There was another problem... A lump in her throat obstructed her normal breathing. After everything he said and did, she had to have moved on. It cost her a lot to get over that overwhelming attraction that obsessed her since the moment she saw herself in the reflection of his sinister eyes. It was as if he trapped her between iron bars and she didn't even mind it.

Her fingers caressed the soft skin on her lips absent-mindedly.

Why did she have to miss him so badly when all he did was hurt her? She still wished to be cold, to let him know he was not right to think her weaker than him. It wasn't fair, the way he played wasn't by the rules. You either accept or reject. You don't do both at the same time. It frustrated her that he didn't only leave her with a gun's barrel on her neck, he placed a kiss there too.

What better reason for her to join in, then? She was tired of people mocking her and seeing only a reason to laugh when they laid eyes on her. If that was the way she could only prove she was stronger and trustworthy, so be it.

No more.

Sakura heaved a sigh and lit up the reading lamp with a lazy movement, her eyes falling on the phone on the bedside cabinet.

No more was she to be the weak one.

* * *

To her great surprise, Sakura received nothing but encouragement from Tsunade and it meant a lot to her. Her boss always spoke straight to the point and was firm in her relationships with people. Knowing her to show good judgment at all times, Sakura appreciated her calm countenance once she shared her plans with her. Tsunade readied the documents for her resignation of the hospital, expressing gratitude toward Sakura, for all the work she's done and all the lives she's saved.

Tsunade wished her best of luck with her new position as a field medic and parted with Sakura with a smile and a nod, assuring her that the hospital will always have a place for her should she chooses to return.

Sakura couldn't help but acquire an odd sense of melancholy when she left the building and headed to the place of the meeting she agreed on the phone. This time she was forced to drive for quite some time before arriving. Kakashi was already waiting at the spot when she turned off the engine and got out of the car.

"Good to meet you again," Kakashi said while she still approached him. He wore a more casual outfit this time, one of a civilian. But the mask and the band were still there. "I'll be honest. I hoped I will."

"Well," Sakura sighed. "Here I am."

Kakashi shook hands with her, seemingly happy with her choice.

"You are unofficially part of the Elite Soldiers now. Congratulations."

"What do I have to do in order to become an official one?" Sakura asked, eagerly.

"Unnecessary details. Mostly paperwork." Kakashi waved with hand. "Leave that to my people."

"Your people," Sakura commented as his hand enveloped her waist, inciting her to walk next to him. "If it's not too rude of me to ask, Captain..."

"Kakashi, please. Ask whatever you want."

"How many people are under your command exactly?" Sakura asked slowly.

He furrowed.

"I haven't once counted them. Let me see..." Kakashi looked ahead thoughtfully. "Four platoons with fifteen units each plus the inferiors that aren't soldiers. That would be roughly... eighty-five people."

A smile spread across Sakura's lips as he turned to observe her reaction.

"Thank you for sharing."

"I have a question, too, if you don't mind."

"Of course."

Sakura looked up, examining the fancy building towering over them. It was, in fact, rather new. Numerous blue-framed windows arranged quite neatly in four... no, five storeys of solid metallic grey walls. The air around it was as pompous as she expected. Her eyes remained on the city's coat of arms for quite some time.

"Why did you join?" Kakashi kept his eyes on her. "I mean... I've recruited a lot of people and neither of them took a decision so quickly."

"Personal reasons." Sakura looked down. "Also, I wanted a change and I'd love to be of help to people."

"Good reasons." He noted and sighed right after, stopping for a moment. "So. These are our Headquarters. Welcome."

"Thank you." Sakura nodded and turned to examine the rather frightening appearance of the edifice.

"Is your colleague going to join us soon?"

"She's always late. One of her bad traits." Sakura gave him an apologetic smile. "I can guarantee that she'll be more than a useful cadre. I know her for years and she's reliable."

Concerning Ino, she accepted the offer right away, convinced that she'll be more than useful. Plus, she had countless reasons to join in, two of them being Sai and Sakura themselves.

"Is that... so?" Kakashi drawled, brow raising. His attention diverted to something in the distance, behind her.

Sakura took a second to inhale and exhale before turning around to join him his observation.

Sunbeams reflecting in her cat-eye glasses, Ino walked to them in high heels and a cocktail black dress, a tiny golden belt enveloping her wasp waist. The view was rather luidicrous because her appearance suggested she's going on a party but the large rucksack on her back hinted toward hiking. Her gait was of a model, feet walking in a perfectly straight line. Sakura told her not once to quit swinging her hips like that because she looked ridiculous. It was a tragic comedy if one chose to focus on that woman for more than a minute.

Smoothing her champagne blonde hair, she stopped before them, chewing on a gum.

"Sup?" She asked, facing Sakura who was now frozen and looked at her friend as if struck by a lightning.

"Ino..." She started in a quiet voice. "This is Captain Hatake."

"Uh, Kakashi." He reminded, the exposed skin on his face wrinkling with the next smile he put on.

Ino stopped chewing all of a sudden, hands lowering her glasses slowly. Kakashi, on the other side, acquired a rather perplexed look after the few seconds of her, staring at him.

"My, my." She commented, putting the glasses on her head. "Pleased to meet you, Kakashi. Yamanaka Ino."

Sakura's eyes widened. Ino was unbelievable. She was so good at what she was doing that no one has ever resisted her charms yet. She didn't possibly think of sleeping with _that_ one. No way. What absolutely stunned her was that Kakashi took her hand in order to shake it but he seemed to fall somewhat distracted by her lush form.

A cough from Sakura broke the silence and they both turned to her.

"Shall we go now? If you're ready, of course."

"Pffft," Ino chaffed. "I'm always ready."

"Good to hear," Kakashi said slowly, looking away but Sakura's mouth was almost opened. The ambiguousness of their verbal exchange was as transparent as it could get and they didn't even try to hide it. Bad thing was, he seemed to enjoy playing her game.

At last, they wasted no more time and entered, Sakura following him closely. The place was huge and after spending not more than a couple of minutes already resembled a labyrinth. She was grateful her leader was so well-oriented.

After all the formalities with the assignment (which, in Sakura's opinion, weren't that much of a nuisance) Kakashi led them into a middle-sized, light room under the pretext of starting to train them. In fact, he suggested they go home because the training could start tomorrow but they didn't mind starting right away.

The room was almost completely empty and was clearly built for a specific training. Namely, hand-fight. They stripped down their coats and proceeded to the center.

"There are some basic movements you'll have to learn," Kakashi sighed and gestured to Ino to near him. "For instance, this one is good for you to know," He grasped her and pulled down, his foot hooking with hers from the inner side. "That's an easy way to bring someone down. All you need to do is find a way to distract your opponent so that you can push him that way. The rest," He slowly pushed her and she would've fallen if he didn't help her back up. "Doesn't even require much strength."

Ino was completely distracted by the way he touched her so freely and Sakura was positive she didn't hear a word he said.

"Come." He turned to Sakura but a smile curved her lips. "Alright. Now," He grasped her the same way he did with Ino but Sakura took a hold of his hand and bend it at the joint, prostrating him on the ground as her knee now rested on his hand.

"Impressive," Kakashi commented, turning to look at her with a squinted eye once she loosened her grip. "Have you trained somewhere else before coming here?"

Before Sakura could finish the door to the room opened sharply and everyone looked that way for a moment.

"Kakashi-" Sasuke started, in a formal tone but the sight got him unprepared and he stopped, both physically and verbally.

His gaze shifted from Kakashi up to Sakura and down again while Kakashi slightly pushed Sakura in order to stand upright.

"I'd like to have a word with you."

Kakashi smoothed out his clothes and smiled.

"These two ladies are now part of the platoon, if something's connected with it, they have the right to know."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed in an almost unnoticeable convulsion as the other three waited in silence.

"Kurenai just told me her team has acquired information on the current position of Danzo Shimura."

Kakashi visibly tensed but didn't move or speak for one long moment.

"Current position?"

"A small village, close to Iwagakure."

"It's not a good idea if it's a populated area," Kakashi replied in a calm voice.

"You better let me go and end that bastard." Sasuke maintained a composed state fairly well but he didn't appear able to handle it for long.

"You need to stay focused on the platoon, you know that. They are your primal concern."

Sasuke was already glaring at him.

"Do I have an order or not?"

"Your platoon's safety comes first. Then your personal issues." Kakashi spoke evenly, aware that heavy punishment afterward was all that stopped Sasuke from using physical force on him.

"Alright. You can go and infiltrate the village but before that, we'll have to train the new recruits."

The words seemed to only vex Sasuke more because his fists clenched but he said nothing. Instead, turned to leave.

"Sasuke," Kakashi called, walking up to him. "How about you train them while I go and set the matters with the departure."

"I can call Karin. Or Tenten."

"Why not take the opportunity while you're here," Kakashi tapped him on the shoulder as an encouragement. "The sooner they're trained the faster you're leaving."

Kakashi put his hands in his pockets and walked to the door in silence.

"Naruto and Sai are probably coming this way." He spoke in a calm voice as if to give him an appeasing thought. "We'll see each other later. Get them through the hand-to-hand fighting and the basics of using a firearm."

Sakura swallowed down. Great, trapped in a room with him for an indefinite amount of time. What could go wrong? Ino walked to her and spoke something in her ear but she didn't hear, her thoughts too loud to focus on another voice.

"Don't go hard on them." Kakashi raised his hand in a lazy salute but Sasuke didn't move until the door was shut.

"Hello there." Ino was the one who broke the continuous silence before it could turn awkward. "Nice to see you again."

Not giving any warnings, Sasuke abruptly headed their way, or rather... Sakura's way, and attacked her. As much it was a surprise for Sakura, she kept a focus of her mind, overjoyed with the fact that her skills were good enough for her to defend herself. As for his skills, she was yet to discover them. From the look of it, he didn't care if she could defend herself or not. More than clear, in that mood he probably wanted to crush someone or something.

Her body swung aside, dodging his fist. He gave her no time to think as his knee aimed for the crook in the back of hers, attempting to bring her down, but when she tensed and survived that blow, he then hit her arm with a force that almost shifted her. The pain spread through her body at lightning speed but she decided to pay it no mind. Luckily, she held her hands up, in front of her face, in a defensive position.

Weak points, she reminded herself. Everyone had weak points. His attacks were soon going to show her how to breach through. He was fast, though, and didn't lack precision, which made things harder. Alright, it was time to reply. If she postponed, she'd end up exhausted, defeated and with bruises.

She took a small step back, giving him the impression she's not able to handle his unceasing blows and that was the moment she knew he had fallen for the trap. Sasuke aimed for her solar plexus. A successful and a strong enough blow there could completely knockout, wresting the breath of her and she was glad to have a way to escape it. Using one of karate's basic moves and the advantage of being shorter in height, she blocked his hand with a forearm and hastened to strike at the base of his neck with her elbow. He predicted her move and twisted her hand up. Sakura was sure that it would end up dislocated if she hadn't used her other hand to bend his at the weak spot of the joint but being with his back to him was a mistake. Sasuke seized on it, wrapping his free hand around her neck, with that clutching her almost still but Sakura twined enough to have her knee hit his stomach. The blow weakened his grip and she slipped away. Sasuke managed to grip her ponytail and pull but this time Sakura used his trick to bend backward, the arc her body made allowing her to perform another of the moves she was well acquainted with. She tried to drive the heel of her palm up to his chin. It didn't happen, though, because he released her hair, avoiding her fist as if the unusual move she invented hadn't created anything close to inconvenience.

"Come on, stop it already." Ino's exasperated voice snapped them out of the battle and they stepped back from each other, heavy breathing. "She's got a black belt, alright? Everyone in the room knows this can go on forever. How about you teach _me_ now? I don't have a black belt."

Still panting, Sakura and Sasuke stared at each other. She didn't know about him but she was proud of herself. Withholding his channeled wrath seemed a frightening task in the beginning but after two successful attempts by now, she thought herself strong enough. Her fist hurt and her caress conquered, she couldn't afford to forget that. It was a war strategy.

As for him, some kind of curiosity flared in his eyes. As predicted, opponents that proved themselves worthy of him, no matter as equals or stronger, were a great interest. It was to be expected from someone with such belligerent nature, her skills seemed to intrigue deeply... instead of giving rise to revolt.

"You don't need training of this sort." He said, head slightly tilting. "I better not waste my time with you. As for Yamanaka, you can teach her some of these moves yourself."

"Is that an order, sir?" Sakura asked in her most even intonation.

The realization came to her right after Kakashi left. He was the First Lieutenant. All units in the platoon were subordinate to his will. So everything he said was an order to her from now on. How inconvenient.

"It is. Haruno." In the moment he said it, Sakura narrowed eyes. She had just puffed up his ego a bit more.

Ino gave out a dreamy sigh and both of them looked at her, whereat she startled.

"Go on," She hurried to defend herself, putting on a dashing smile. "I'll stay here and watch from aside."

Sasuke's gaze returned on Sakura for a moment before he turned to leave.

"Follow me."

Sakura exchanged looks with Ino and hurried to follow him through the corridors. With the sight of her disheveled appearance in the mirror-image of the walls, she just shook her head, raising her hand in order to, at least, smooth her hair.

It wasn't much until they entered another room, or rather hall because it was wider than any of the ones she's seen. Konoha's hospital had quite the impressive size and rooms but that was something different altogether. It was an indoor shooting range, reinforced with baffles that supposedly isolated the sound within the room.

Two familiar figures stood at the far end of the room and discussed something until the sight of the newcomers didn't interrupt them. As they approached them enough to have a normal conversation, the reactions of the two were rather confusing.

"Sakura!" Naruto lit up, going straight to hug her tightly.

Sakura smiled widely at his warm reaction and returned the hug, feeling the burning gaze of a certain someone upon them. Naruto backed away soon enough, holding her shoulders with both hands. In the meantime Ino jumped on Sai, almost causing them both to fall on the ground.

"You've been approved. Can't believe it." His sky blue eyes changed their glimmer as he smirked, glancing at Sasuke behind. "I won."

Sakura raised her brow.

"We had a bet," Naruto explained, sighing. "Nevermind. Welcome to our family."

"She'll never be... a part of us." A windless tone interfered from the back and Sakura knew to whom it belonged to right away.

"Shut your mouth," Naruto growled, heading straight to Sai without caring to look at Ino who was now leaning on him with a pale face.

"He probably didn't mean that." Ino gave an expressive apologetic smile on behalf of the man behind her.

"Naruto, please don't." Sakura let out a quiet chuckle, trying to prevent them from fighting. "It's fine. I agree with him. No need for quarrels. How about you teach me how to use a gun now?"

Naruto's anger slowly evaporated as he stood still, glaring at Sai. Sakura's suggestion found its way through and he finally turned to face her.

"I would be happy to." He murmured and dragged Sakura aside, to the corner with the weapons.

As they both left the others in the room to their own and were now busy with the firearms, arranged neatly on the shelves, Sakura started another conversation with a sincere smile.

"Glad to know you've gotten rid of the crutches."

"Yeah. Freaking hated those things."

"Stop chatting and focus." Sasuke's voice cut him off from behind. "We're on a mission in two weeks."

He came to them and opened another shelf with handguns, taking the one on the right along with the magazine that belonged to the type, loading it in. Naruto watched him walk away and Sakura could swear she heard him murmur an insult under his breath, one that made her laugh.

"Let's go there and I'll explain all you need to know." He said, taking a smaller type of pistol that fit her more.

There were earphones and earplugs on each row so they proceeded to put them on.

"Now." Naruto held the gun at the line of her eyes. "This," He pointed at the base." Is your magazine. Loading the rounds is the easy part. If you want to reload, you push that thing. It's called Magazine Release Button. This," He pointed at the hammer." You need to lower it in order to shoot. Not that you can't shoot without lowering it but it's ten times harder to pull the trigger if you don't."

He opened his mouth for another sentence but was stopped by the sudden gunshots that echoed and, although with headphones and earplugs, startled both of them. Sakura turned around slowly, seeing Sasuke shooting at his target not very far from them. She let out a gasp, noticing something quite unusual. His target was way farther than normal. Matter-of-fact, she barely saw the white circles on it in the distance. How did he even see where he shot at? The ten rounds in his magazine were fired in a row.

"Don't mind him." Naruto touched her shoulder. "Don't even look at the way he's shooting, it's wrong."

"Wrong?" She scoffed. "I doubt it."

He was half-turned and fired with one arm. There was something more specific about the posture.

"It's not the way you should do it." Naruto corrected. "You'll hold the gun with both hands."

"Why does he do that?" Sakura asked, quietly.

"There isn't any shooting range for snipers and he hasn't got much of a choice but to only train his sight here. That's the best we get." Naruto explained, exasperated. "You look here now."

After half a second of reloading, Sasuke continued his streak. His hand was so perfectly steady that one could think that gun didn't have any recoil. There was something else, too. The look in his eyes... she was completely sure he imagined someone there, in the place of this target.

"Sakura," Naruto demanded and she turned to him again.

"I'm sorry."

He gave her a meaning look.

"I'm better than him, you can look at me."

Sakura chuckled and renewed her composure when he started explaining again.

"What you have here is a semi-automatic so the whole frame is much more streamlined." He murmured. "There are lots of things I need to tell you but these are the ones you need to know for today. Try to shoot now."

He handed her the pistol and she took a deep breath, looking at the heavy piece of metal in her hands. What a strange creation. Built by a human with the only aim to kill one. When did that object become something completely normal in people's lives? One thing was for sure, no matter what, she wouldn't let guns rob her from her morale. Not for the world.

Sakura raised the gun up and aimed at the target, pulling down the hammer. Her hands were shaking, though, she couldn't fix on her target.

"Relax." Naruto leaned on the wall next to her. "You'll probably never use a gun 'cause you're a medic but it's in the protocol. All field medics must go through the soldier training. We must be ready for everything."

A nervous smile crept on her lips as a few feet next to them Sasuke emptied a third magazine with the same ferociousness and precision as the first and the second one while at the other side the sound of more gunshots reached them. It was a miracle Sai and Ino got to work, Sakura was pretty sure they'd end up kissing instead.

"You might wanna hold the gun tight 'cause it will recoil," Naruto warned before she pulled the trigger and the bullet hit the outer circle on her target.

"Well, not bad." He whistled but Sakura lowered her gun in downright astonishment.

Now automatically returning to the previous and original distance from the shooter, the target stopped next to the others. Sasuke was staring at it in silence for quite some time before turning to leave the gun back in its place.

"You okay?" Naruto asked, confused at her reaction but then followed her point of interest and puffed. "Showing off, again. Dude's gotta chill."

"I've got a lot to catch up with you, guys." Sakura mouthed absently, busy admiring the single black hole in his target's center. One with the size of a tennis ball. Did he just fire thirty rounds in the same spot, with an ordinary gun, at... twenty yards?

"Yeah, you do. But don't worry. You might get better in two weeks." Naruto tapped her on the shoulder with a hearty laugh and succeeded in making her smile.

* * *

"Guy." Kakashi nodded. "Kurenai. Baki."

"Please, sit with us," Kurenai said, gesturing him to join them on the table. "We've got something to discuss."

"I'm listening."

Kakashi took the place, tired eyes running over the empty chairs next to him. A momentary melancholy hit him with the memory of Shikaku and Asuma. Their loss was heavy and tangible. They always came up with brilliant strategies and great plans. It wasn't quite the same without them in the rankings.

"I understand you've assigned the Elite Squad to a new mission today," Baki noted.

"We're after this terrorist for a long time." Kakashi leaned back in his chair. "His weapons managed to wipe out not one platoon of ours, not to mention their use on civilians, in populated areas." Kakashi leaned back in his chair.

"My team located him last in a small village, yes." Kurenai intervened.

"Heard that a platoon of ours has been attacked but it seems the explosives used in the ambush are his fault," Guy added. "Shimura."

"What did you call me for?" Kakashi went straight to the point.

"We need to discuss your First Lieutenant's behavior." Baki interlocked his hands on the table.

Kakashi furrowed.

While the department under Kurenai's command was responsible for the coordinates, information and digital threats, Baki was the mediator between the Government's interests and the Headquarters. His vigilant eyes reached every corner and nothing escaped his sight. Which is why Kakashi wasn't surprised to hear he had noticed a problem. As for Guy, he was a captain, like him.

"What about him?"

"I have my reliable sources and information about him making an attempt to commit suicide reached my ears."

Kakashi raised a brow.

"I am obliged to warn you. A soldier in such unstable mental state can be fatal to the whole mission. Giving the fact that he's a First Lieutenant and is supposed to lead the platoon, having him on a battlefield is highly... inadvisable."

"What do you suggest I do?"

"Lower him to a Second Lieutenant and give his position to someone more reliable and trustworthy."

"Anything else?"

"I feel like you don't agree with me." Baki changed his formal tone for the first time.

"Not completely," Kakashi replied, evenly. "I beg to differ. My First Lieutenant is reliable and, I can say with certainty, most capable of leading the platoon."

"The observations of the people I am connected with say something else."

"Good. I will lower his rank." Kakashi heaved a heavy sigh. "Will that be all?"

Baki looked at Kurenai for a moment.

"You might want to go to that mission with them."

"I don't do that. I command the platoons from the Headquarters."

"Well, you will do it now."

Kakashi remained silent for a while, thinking.

"You want me to keep an eye on him."

"So that he doesn't do anything stupid, yes. Will it be a problem for you?" Baki asked, more friendly.

"Not at all." Kakashi took a breath and exhaled, standing up. "Not at all."

* * *

 _A/N: Thanks for reading! A bit longer chapter than usual. I fixed my mistake and made Kakashi an actual Captain so now I won't worry about being authentic. I don't think I've seen Sasuke and Sakura fight like that in any fanfic and I thought it'd be cool. Also, KakaIno is kinda hot, I honestly never ever thought they could be together but it would've been a crime if I didn't set a scene or two where they're eyeing each other, giving their personalities._

 _I'll add Mebuki and Kizashi again in the next chapter. Their reaction to Sakura's decision had to figure in here somewhere._

 _Okay._ _ **Zombie Reine,**_ _thanks for the review but I just wanted to let you know it's gonna be exactly a 'switch' because I'm not really focusing on them. I mean, I do, but it's perfunctory. There are moments when they're going to be together but it's gonna be kind of a peripheral thing. With a bonus of a scene or two when things get... ah, well. I ain't spoiling._

 _She did,_ _ **guest(1)**_ _. Hope you're happy with that fact. Thanks for being interested._

 _Thank you for leaving a review,_ _ **guest(2).**_ _Glad you like it._

 _Actually,_ _ **Guest,**_ _I wanted to keep him in that I-don't-care-about-anything attitude. There are three people that wrest him out of that condition for different reasons and these three are Sakura, Sasuke, and Naruto. He cares about them._

 _Thank you for leaving a review,_ _ **Fan,**_ _and telling me how you feel about the story. But yeah, Sasuke is having some layered depression here, you could call it PTSD if the issue was really a_ post-traumatic. _With him it's like... he had never gotten out of the trauma. He's at war, all the time. Will be having Sakura to help him get out of that condition._


	13. Take-Off

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the character in it.**

* * *

 **XIII.**

 **\- Take-Off -**

"Dad?" Sakura leaned on the door with heavy concern on her face. "Please, come out."

Her heart sank within her as she saw the expression on his face. She predicted her parents wouldn't be particularly happy with her being a field medic. Accepting that decision wasn't as simple when you imagined the possibilities of your child being hurt to the extents of disability and even death. Going straight to the battlefield brought some serious consequences. Sakura had not overlooked the facts but it was a conviction that led her that way. She knew her presence, her skills and knowledge were needed there and if she rejected the offer, it wouldn't have been the right choice. It was something completely different when she faced her mother and father and told them about it.

"You could be anything else. Work everywhere else." He fumed from the other side. "Did you do that to hurt me?"

"No..." Sakura rested her palm on the wooden door to her parents' bedroom, where Kizashi had currently locked himself in. "It's complicated. Come out and we'll talk about it."

"Sakura," Mebuki's soft voice reached her and she turned around.

Her mother wrapped her hand around hers and pulled her away.

"Leave him alone. He'll be fine."

They both found themselves sitting on the table in the dining room. Mebuki neared her chair to Sakura so that they touched their shoulders and smiled at her. A while ago, Mebuki started making mochi dumplings and was busy with the process while Sakura tried appeasing her father, making countless attempts to get him out of that room.

The flour was already rolled with cornstarch and just waited to be molded into fluffy balls. Mebuki even prepared slices of anko paste in order to fill the dumplings with them. She tore a small part of the viscous mixture and handed it to Sakura before taking one for herself. They took some of the paste and enveloped it with the white dough, using their palms to create smooth globules.

"I didn't think he'll get so upset." Sakura looked down at the fluffy white ball in her hand with a sad expression.

"What did you expect him to say? That he's happy for you?" Mebuki smiled at her warmly. "You know him so well and yet I seem to know him better, in the end."

"Of course you know him better, you've been together for years." Sakura snapped. "I thought I could take decisions for my life without others hanging over my head. And I think it's fair I wanted a change in my life and made a step toward it."

"We both understand and respect that." Her mother replied in a calm voice. "What you don't see is that... he loves you more than his life." Mebuki spoke with a content smile on her face. "Don't say you know that because you have no idea."

Sakura gave her a tired look.

"Because I've never been a parent, yeah."

"You'll understand, one day."

"I hate when you say that. What if I never become a parent?" Sakura furrowed, still angry. Her hand tore another piece of the sweet flour and continued with another sweet ball.

"You will."

"Like you'd know." Sakura sighed in exasperation.

A brief silence spread between them as Sakura noticed another smile on her mother's face, this time holding a more different meaning.

"What?" Sakura hissed.

"Nothing. Just remembered something I read long ago. Don't know if it's true or not but... possibly."

"Tell me."

"Fun fact." Mebuki glanced at her daughter. "A group of scientists decided to make a research. Turns out men are attracted to women who smile but it's not true the other way around. It was a curious little article that made me think."

Sakura raised a brow. Not one of these stupid articles they stuff women's magazines with. They almost made her vomit.

"What you're telling me doesn't fit your relationship with Kizashi at all. What you've read is a lie. As most of what they write in these magazines."

"There must be some kind of a universal truth in all this. Not the article in particular but the concept as a whole." Mebuki slightly narrowed eyes. "I believe everything that exists, does exist on the principle of balance. I am not one to laugh out loud and live through things thoroughly the way your father does. And somehow, sometimes I think him cute when he does that."

"Where are you going with this?"

"I believe joy attracts sorrow and light - darkness. Which is why..." Mebuki paused, wrinkling. "I am concerned about you."

Sakura raised her eyes to Mebuki in surprise but hurried to lower them as a thought cross her mind and made her slightly blush.

"Don't worry about me, I'll be fine."

"If you're not perfectly careful," Mebuki continued but her voice was measured and slow, "and if you don't know when to give up on things that carry no future, you're going to suffer, brought down along with them."

"Mom, why are you telling me this?" Sakura was almost angry with her mysterious tone.

"Women are the weirdest creatures." Mebuki's smile widened. "I don't claim to understand them but I know myself well enough. I am convinced you wouldn't abandon the job you loved so much if you haven't found a new passion."

"I..." Sakura furrowed but decided it's not wise to oppose her, in the end. The red on her cheeks only deepened.

"Does he make you happy?"

"Happy? No." Sakura snapped quickly, too embarrassed to talk about that with her mother. The latter waited out a few seconds in torturous silence until Sakura didn't give up. "And yes."

Mebuki chuckled.

"Is he happy with you?"

Sakura gave out a mirthless laugh.

"Imagine the most unhappy person and then multiply the unhappiness by ten."

"I see. Parents dead?"

"Brother too. A month ago."

Mebuki shook her head.

"Thank God the war spared you and Kizashi. I wouldn't know how to continue living if you two were taken away from me." She leaned her head on Sakura's shoulder for a moment. "Tell me about him."

"You don't want to know." Sakura sighed.

Mebuki suddenly looked at her seriously.

"You'll leave in a few days." She said in a firm voice and made a pause, her eyes slightly dim.

 _There's always the chance that I might not see you again._

Sakura didn't have to hear the words out loud in order to understand. Mebuki held her emerald eyes on Sakura for a longer amount of time. As if she tried to... memorize her features. And still, there was bitterness in her expression, one that she couldn't hide.

A deep sigh escaped Sakura lips. She counted the things she had to spare her mother in that conversation.

"He's actually quite nice but he doesn't know it yet," Sakura said, comprehending her own words as they came out of her mouth. Her gaze rested on a point in the air in front of her.

Mebuki let out a chuckle at how thoughtful her daughter became all of a sudden.

"You think there's hope, then?"

"There is," Sakura spoke absently, placing the last mochi in the large glass dish. "If a person still seeks help from another then there's still hope."

"Oh?" Mebuki didn't quite get what she tried to say.

"He marked a few cases of highly illogical behavior. Such as seeking help from me while convincing everyone else he doesn't need any."

"I'll tell you this straight. You've always been like that with people. There's something about you that makes them trust you."

"My hair and its color have other stories to tell." Sakura scoffed. "Good thing my eyes didn't turn pink. Then people," Sakura emphasized, "would've had nightmares about me."

"But they trust you anyway." Mebuki shrugged. "He surely has seen that in you."

Sakura remained silent for quite some time, thinking over her words.

"I don't know... Guess you're right."

"I am." Mebuki chuckled. "You're going to be a great field doctor. You're strong enough for that kind of job."

Before even finishing her sentence, she stood up and took on with cleaning the table, gesturing to her daughter that she can rest on her chair. The door to the living room opened slowly and Sakura turned immediately. Kizashi was stooping with his hands in his pockets, resignation written on his weary face.

"Oh, papa." Sakura stood up, brows wrinkling. She went to him and looked up, hands slowly enveloping him in a hug. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. It's just-"

"Come back to me whole, do you hear me?" Kizashi spoke in her hair, ignoring her attempts to explain. "Promise?"

"Promise." Sakura smiled, although he couldn't see. "You know what time is it now?"

Kizashi backed away from her, the sadness discarding from his expression with every second until it didn't disappear completely, ending up with a smile.

"No. Tell me."

"Time to eat some mochi, of course." Sakura imitated a scolding tone but then she gestured to the table. "This way, sir. Please have a seat."

"Don't eat the sweets yet, I've cooked dinner!" Mebuki's masterful voice resounded as she dashed into the room just in time to catch them reaching for the mochi which resulted in both Sakura and Kizashi jumping in surprise. Mebuki paid no mind to their perplexed expressions but instead went to the table and took away the dish, disappearing afterward.

Sakura and Kizashi exchanged looks.

"I think I like this restaurant already," Kizashi announced and laughed out loud, joined by his daughter.

* * *

She never thought she'd set foot in that airport but life was a versatile thing. There she was, walking among the coming and going people, the little wheels of her suitcase she dragged behind rolling with a continuous, calming sound. In any other time, it would've been crammed but the war obstructed the normal flow of passengers and flights were only allowed on business matters and important political meetings. Which is why the airport had more police officers than civilians around. Glad that the hour was too early for her parents to come and send her off, she walked with confidence. Knowing her parents, they'd hug her so many times that she would've missed her flight.

Sakura walked through the terminal and waited patiently for the women to check her passports and permit documents. That airplane was only for the military and it didn't surprise her that they were so thorough in their examinations.

"Keep walking until you reach the second check at the entrance of the airplane. Safe flight, ma'am." The woman returned the documents and Sakura nodded, continuing through the corridor. Her heart was beating vigorously in her chest, nerves so tensed that she found herself heaving up a heavy sigh as they finally let her through and on board. All these wishes for a safe flight only made her more nervous.

But as she walked down the alley, eyes nailed down in a search for the spot where her place was mentioned, the sound of a familiar voice made her stop.

"Maaan, she's sexy _and_ she's a doctor. If you don't do something about it, I will."

Naruto was cut off by Sakura's coughing whereat he turned sharply with the warmest smile.

"Oh, hey! Where's your place?"

Sakura's gaze went from Naruto to Sasuke behind him and back before dropping to the ticket in her hands.

"Well. Turns out I'll be sitting here." She sighed, looking at her right. Three places. "Are you guys here too?"

"I'll have the one next to the window!" He exclaimed, the suddenness of his remark making her blink.

"Okay." She drawled, still not making a move.

"Should I help you with the luggage?" He offered cordially as he put up his own suitcase. Sasuke already put his own while Naruto talked with her and now waited for Naruto to move away with folded hands. He would probably have to wait a lot more, Sakura thought, knowing Naruto and his lack of keenness when it came to everyday trifles and situations.

"No need," Sakura replied with cold politeness.

He didn't have the right to talk about her like that, friend or not.

"Right." He grinned, turning to Sasuke, his voice now close to a whisper. " _She's angry."_

"Move," Sasuke demanded with a thunderous expression and Naruto jumped, sitting on the farthest place with the swiftest movement, eyes fixed straight ahead and hands intertwined in his lap.

Sakura couldn't help but crack a smile. His vigor was so strong and at the same time, comical, that one couldn't possibly be mad at him for more than a minute. She shifted her gaze on Sasuke, stepping back and allowing him to sit.

"You're the one in the middle." He said, busy glaring at Naruto.

Sakura furrowed at her ticket and hurried to push her luggage next to Naruto's. Seems that she had the one in the middle, after all. Sakura sighed and took her seat next to him.

"Didn't you have a girlfriend?" She inquired after a voice announced their soon-to-be departure.

"What? Who?" Naruto faced her sharply.

"Hinata." Sakura reminded and then continued quietly. "She is a diamond in the rough. I hope you realize that."

Naruto's playful smiled faded away as he lowered his gaze.

"I do. Sorry."

"I'm not mad." Sakura chuckled. "If I was, you would already be with broken proximal phalanges. On both hands."

He looked at her in confusion and she knew she had to explain but instead, her fingers traced a line on his hand, showing him exactly which bones she'd aim for.

Naruto backed away from her, the color from his face disappearing.

Sakura was about to continue the conversation but was distracted by the sight. She could see through her window as they gathered the needed speed. Slight concussions started as they came off the ground, the movement creating an unpleasant sensation in her stomach. They were in the air but... the concussions didn't quite stop.

The plane shook continuously for a minute, then two and no one said anything in one long moment. Sakura had never traveled on a plane before but she was pretty sure something's wrong. Her eyes followed the restless air-hostess that made her way to the cockpit.

The turbulence became a tad stronger in a few seconds and Sakura let out the breath in her lungs in an ineffective attempt to calm down but her hands were already shaking.

"Okay, guys. If we don't live through this one, I love ya." Naruto leaned forward, giving them a peace sign. Sakura chuckled nervously but he didn't receive Sasuke's attention. The latter appeared just as cross as before, staring at the far point of the alley. "No? Okay."

 _"It's your captain speaking. Please, stay in your seats and remain as calm as possible. Over."_

"They ain't saying what the issue is," Naruto noted thoughtfully. "Not good."

"At least we won't die old." Sakura's voice trembled as she spoke the words with an awry smile.

A painful spasm rent her heart as the plane's torso still rattled violently. Did she... see her mother and father for the last time? She looked down, with her eyes dimmed. And he didn't even want her to go, how ironic. The tears welled up in the corners of her eyes. Mebuki was strong, she would live through it, although it'd take her years but Kizashi...

A foreign touch wrested her out of the dreadful thoughts. She hadn't realized her hands were shaking visibly until now. The soft moss of her eyes fell down onto her left hand, now laying still under the gentle pressure of another, way warmer and steadier than hers.

Sakura raised her eyes to Sasuke who watched straight ahead, no visible emotion written on his face. In the moment the rattling ceased, though, he took his hand off.

"Whew." Naruto exhaled. "Close call."

 _"Apologies for the inconvenience. The plane is out of danger now. One of the horizontal stabilizers didn't respond as it had to. It's an electronic problem that can be fixed. You can rest assured, everything is under control. Over."_

"They better not make _me_ go in there." Naruto murmured.

Sakura raised a brow.

"He's a pilot." Sasuke finally spoke, explaining.

"What?" Sakura's eyes widened. "You? A pilot?"

"The best one around. But that's a secret." Naruto winked at her.

Sakura gasped.

"Are you serious?"

"Absolutely." Naruto puffed up his chest.

"Everyone on this plane," Sasuke dragged her attention again and she faced him. "is capable of doing much more than carrying a gun around."

"Yeah, I forgot." Sakura sighed. "Elite Soldiers."

* * *

 _A/N: Thanks for reading. That was a kind of a transition-filler and that's why it's shorter. Ugh... I've got so many things I have to write ahead, it's frustrating. Just decided to underline, although faintly, where the deepest affections of each of these three lie, in the face of death. Hope you won't be disappointed with the experiment/demonstration. Off-topic, I've got the dumbest title names, they're hilarious. Should've added Humor in the genres up there, just for the titles._

 _Can I just say something? I'd like to stop and thank you all from my heart for being so nice and kind to me. I didn't quite expect the story will be liked at all, especially considering my still unpolished writing. Knowing how hard it is to receive positive reactions while writing one of the world's most popular fictional pairings, I am almost convinced I'm doing ok. Thank you for the support. See you next time. I'm finally moving to another set. We're going to the front._

* * *

 _Thanks for the love,_ _ **RansomeNote.**_ _Isn't that what Sakura always does, really? People are calling her name but she has her eyes fixed on Sasuke, nevertheless._

 _I hope you'll like the chapters ahead too,_ _ **Sakurabeam.**_ _Glad you like Kakashi, haha. I thought it'd be cool if he flirted a lot._

 _Really sorry,_ _ **Psycogirl911**_ _but I'll actually reenact the canon events in my way. Not everything, just a few things. Things aren't exactly going to be... romantic. Wartime, remember? I've never seen, not even once, Sasuke being romantic. At least not openly. He's totally depending on Sakura's keenness while dropping hints. Sakura is the open one. Also, he's really full of himself, that's a problem too. I follow that view on things until the end, I thought I had to warn you. Anyway, your words made me very, very happy! Thank you for reviewing._


	14. Ghostlands

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in it.**

* * *

 **XIV.**

 **\- Ghostlands -**

Dense fog covered the whole camp at the time they arrived. The first thought that ran through Sakura's mind was gratitude for that plane ride was the scariest experience she had ever had in her life. She let out her breath once her feet touched the rocky ground and fastened the small rucksack she brought along with the suitcase.

While she waited for everyone to get off the plane and the luggage and water and food supplies to be unloaded, her eyes narrowed. Almost certain that it wasn't the fog that roused these feelings, something about the place made her skin prick. Cold but not nipping, the moist air and zero visibility quite darkened the atmosphere. Here and there multiple shadows crossed her sight and disappeared, carrying something or whispering as the passed by. Peering into the mist one could discern, although with a lot of struggle, a couple of buildings. Two or three large ones, surrounded by smaller ones with a rather strange shape... Not exactly buildings, Sakura recognized, the smaller ones were military tents.

"Not as pretty as Konoha, ha?"

The remark startled her and she turned to see Naruto standing next to her and observing the same sight.

"It's dreadful, actually." Sakura folded hands, giving him a sad smile.

So far north, it wasn't that much of a surprise to have fogs and rain, even snow. But it wasn't the weather that made the atmosphere dark, it was something else. A heavy tinge in the air itself, oppressing silence and the feeling of impending danger. As if safety didn't exist anymore. The safety went away in the moment she stepped out of that plane.

"Hope the fog will rise soon." He murmured, stirring shoulders. "We're at a serious disadvantage if it doesn't."

"Am I supposed to know..." Sakura hesitated, seeing many of the team walking away in silence. "Where to go?"

"There's a big red cross at your tent, princess." A cutting female voice intervened from behind. "If you're waiting for an escort, there won't be none."

Karin quickly moved past them, holding her bag with her right hand.

"Uh, don't mind her." Naruto bumped Sakura's shoulder. "She's not like that all the time."

"Is she an orphan, too?" Sakura asked quietly.

"Yeah." Naruto sighed. "Her life was a disaster before she joined us. I think we helped her a lot. And she helped us."

"I see." Sakura looked back to the plane and searched for Ino. "It'd be a miracle if someone doesn't shoot me by tomorrow."

Fortunately, Ino was on her way, side by side with Sai. Unaffected by the weather or the circumstances, she seemed to have acquired some kind an undying happiness. Perhaps Sai had something to do with that. Apart from Sai, Sakura was grateful to have her on the team. Weird or not, Sakura knew Ino wouldn't stab her in the back. Saying the same for everyone else around her, for sure, was in no way going to happen. Somebody was better than nobody.

"Whew, thought I'd die in a plane crash." Ino beamed once they were close enough.

"So did we." Naruto grinned. "Sai, you coming?"

"Yeah." Sai nodded.

"Ah, by the way." Ino raised her forefinger in order to attract the attention back to her. "Captain Hatake requests a meeting of the whole team in an hour."

"Thought so. I saw Sasuke speaking with him just now. Briefing?" Naruto raised a brow.

"Likely."

"Better settle on faster then," He waved at Sakura. "We'll see you there in an hour."

"There?" She asked with a guilty smile.

"Sai will show us." Ino placed a kiss on his cheek and he flinched, unprepared for her sudden show of affection. "Right?"

Sakura and Naruto exchanged glances before shaking their heads.

"It's arranged, then."

They finally parted and Sakura waited for her friend to come to her senses, which seemed to be a really hard task. Ino stared after Sai for quite a while with an absent look in her eyes.

"What happened?" Sakura took her by the arm and they walked ahead slowly.

"What you mean?"

"On the plane." Sakura raised her head, trying to find the tents Karin hinted her towards.

"I think I'll keep that for myself this time."

Sakura glanced up at her friend for a second, a content smile on her face. Since Inoichi's death, Ino turned everything into a joke, avoiding serious subjects as if they threatened her life. Such a mature approach was something new and Sakura noticed the change of attitude a while ago. Not a wholesome change but it was something. Unsure whether Sai was playing the role of a distraction and a replacement of her loneliness or she had just decided to change her style and take a serious responsibility upon her shoulders, Sakura was convinced her friend was not the same person as before.

The red cross emerged soon in front of them. Later, Sakura understood that the medics' tents were right across the ones in which the soldiers resided. The space in between was about thirty yards.

The tents itself were half the size of her dining-room, in the apartment. Everything was compact and fit into a perfect order. Glad to have one separated from the others', Sakura heaved a heavy sigh. Being in one tent with Ino would've been bearable, being in one tent with Sasuke was not. Usually, the military tents sheltered a dozen soldiers or even the whole platoon. She was sure her bed would've been one of many under the same camouflage tarpaulin roof. Instead, she got a tiny tent all for herself. Perhaps medics were held in respect and she enjoyed privileges.

Although quite dark, Sakura discerned a small table with a chair, a bed and a pine cabinet behind it. As she left her bag and suit on the bed, her eyes traced the cable that traced the tent's wall and climbed up until she saw the hanging electric bulb. There was a string behind her and she pulled it, lighting up the space around her. Opposite to her expectations, she was happy with what she got. There was even a power plug next to the table. Perfect.

She took on with unpacking and her thoughts drifted away to a moment in particular. Did he do it just to stop her from shaking or to convey a message, a feeling? Did he expect her to reply after what he did to her the last time? Denying and lowering her to the position of a call-girl until they didn't face death. Was it so humiliating for him to admit he was a human? To accept the fact that human meant ordinary, plain and trivial. Human meant he was like everyone else and was in need of everything the others needed. Including some basic things like understanding. Admitting that would equal destroying his sense of uniqueness, the one that he personified himself with and she was afraid the base beneath that sense was all rotten and about to crumble away.

* * *

As promised, Sai came to get them an hour later and they headed to one of the larger buildings that took the place between the two sets of tents. The other belonged to another platoon, Sakura assumed. The airstrip with the private military aircrafts along with the landing place of the helicopters she saw on her way down the plane were to their right. The other large buildings were supposedly the mess and the field baths. Memorizing their locations was a good start.

Making their way into the military hut, the three of them found themselves to be in a vast hall with an oval ceiling. Most of the space was filled with chairs that faced an upper ground where Sasuke and Naruto were already standing, hands in the back. Sakura, Ino, and Sai sat behind their teammates and waited. It seemed not everyone was present so it wasn't long until Ino and Sai started chatting while Sakura sighed, looking through the windows on her left. Didn't they say one hour? Or they came way too early. The strange feeling of being watched disturbed her train of thoughts and she turned around, attempting to find the source of her uneasiness. A moment after she caught Sasuke's eyes already looking her way.

Those haunting, dark eyes that stripped her bare and didn't ask for permission. The ruthless eyes of a tyrant. Even from that distance, he exerted power beyond her control and understanding and she was ripped up in pieces without being able to make a sound. Without anyone noticing. It wasn't like he judged her, there was something else there. Her brows just wrinkled when he averted his eyes and scanned the attendants absently. Sakura took a breath and exhaled, realizing that her fists were clenched all this time and anger has made its way underneath her skin. Anger... why?

Because he did whatever he wanted with her and she succumbed to him without knowing it, against her will. Because she was the next body in his eyes.

"Sorry, guys." A loud voice dragged the attention and everyone turned to see Kakashi with his hand up in a gesture of apology.

He walked in the alley between the chairs at the slowest pace, without any signs of being concerned or regretful.

" _Sorry?_ " Ino whispered to Sai but Sakura was close enough to hear. "He's twenty minutes late."

"Late?" The man in front of them scoffed, hand leaning on the chair's back in order to face them in a more comfortable position. "We waited for an hour once."

Ino chuckled.

"And you are?" Shikamaru narrowed eyes at Sakura.

"Haruno Sakura. A close friend of Ino." She shook his hand with a smile.

"This," Shikamaru placed his hand on the golden-haired woman next to him. "is Temari."

"Get your hand off me." She slapped his hand so harshly that the sound created the impression of a lash and Sakura had to bit her lip so that she doesn't burst into laughter. Chōji, who sat next to Temari, however, laughed out loud.

"Shut up." Tenten snapped from the second row.

Shikamaru rubbed the red spot on his hand with a cross expression.

"That's Chōji and Lee you see there."

Sakura nodded at both of the men that looked back at her.

"Is there anyone you don't know yet? I am responsible for the 'getting along' part in the team, you know." Shikamaru sighed with exasperation. "It's a drag but it's my duty, too."

"I don't know the man in the front, with the... tattoos on the face."

"Uh, that's Kiba. He's currently replacing Shino. I recommend you don't ask him about those tattoos..." Shikamaru paused. "Actually don't even look at him. If you do that the wrong way he might want to immure you into the concrete wall."

"I know everyone else, thank you." Sakura nodded once again and Shikamaru turned back.

Immure her into the wall, ha? Talking about getting along. Kakashi finally faced them and coughed to get the attention he lost a few seconds ago.

"So. Many of you might wonder why I'm here and not at the Headquarters where I'm supposed to be." He put hands in his pockets, switching his weight on his right leg, acquiring a more casual posture. "I was ordered to, by a higher instance. I can't say any details."

He glanced back at his lieutenants and squinted.

"Before I go on with information about your current mission, I'd like to make an announcement."

Sakura slightly tilted her head. Something wasn't quite right. His tone hinted it.

"I am promoting Naruto Uzumaki to a First Lieutenant and demoting Sasuke Uchiha to a Second."

A murmur rose among her teammates but she was busy watching at Sasuke whose expression, to her great surprise, held a touch of amusement. She'd seen that sparkle in his eyes before. Was he supposed to be that content, considering he just lost his ability to command the platoon? Naruto, on the other side, appeared most joyful with his new position, eyes sparkling with determination.

"Weird." Ino leaned to her friend. "He doesn't seem surprised at all."

"Now, for the mission." Kakashi huffed tiredly. "We've been chasing after a terrorist for months now. His name is Danzo Shimura and he's known to be a famous contrabandist of bioweapons and explosives of various kinds. We believe he has a secret network of scouts due to the fact we've never been able to capture him. That man is intelligent and very dangerous. Don't underestimate him."

He started walking to and fro, making another pause.

"I'd like to point out you have an order to _capture,_ not kill him. He is in a possession of a valuable information that can be useful to us. What high-levels wouldn't want to tell you is that he's a former government official from Konoha."

Sakura exchanged glances with Ino, general surprise on their faces.

"He's been turned down for the position of a city's governor by unknown to us reasons. Possibly it has something to do with his unusual political conceptions. After many attempts of nomination in the past, Shimura tried again last year and didn't succeed. All we know is that he's gone missing after that and his whereabouts have been a secret until an attack didn't concuss one of our southern military bases, almost razing it to the ground. Hours later a digital message was sent our way. It said, _"If you refuse to give me what's rightfully mine, I'll claim it the hard way."_

Kakashi stopped for a moment, his hand in front of his mouth in a thoughtful expression.

"It's been five months and he's always getting away, one way or the other. He's responsible for a lot of deaths... but we suspect he's involved many veterans and gang members. A man like him is sure to require followers."

"You mean worshippers." Naruto intervened with a splenetic remark, making Kakashi sigh.

"Sort of, yes."

"How do we know for sure his coordinates are the ones we've been given?" Shikamaru asked out loud, folding hands. "If I was him, I'd give false information about my position and then I'll wait out a group of blind idiots to come so that I can blow them up at once."

"Good point." Kakashi looked at him with heavy concern. "A team of ours has located him and they say they have a proof he's currently hiding in a small village not far from Iwagakure. This is why we're here, in the North West Base. We don't have much of a choice but to trust our people." He shrugged. "If we end up blown up, I apologize in advance. At least your deaths won't be on _my_ conscience."

Among the thick silence, Ino giggled at his remark and received everyone's gaze upon her.

"Sorry." She raised her hand in an apologetic gesture and hurried to lower her eyes to her lap.

"Yeah..." Kakashi drawled, still watching at Ino. "More details on the exact approach you're taking and the strategy of infiltrating will be given to you tomorrow. That's it for now. We'll have dinner at seven. You're dismissed."

Sakura tapped on Ino's shoulder.

"You'll be fine."

* * *

"Congratz, Naruto!"

"Yeah, man, congratulations on the new position."

Sakura chose to sit at the far end of the table, next to Ino and Sai, and keep as quiet as she can. It wasn't that hard of a task, in fact, since the admirations started even before they sat to eat and continued during the whole dinner. It was a heartwarming sight, to see those people treat each other as brothers and sisters while in truth they had no blood relation. Even the ones that she previously thought whimsical in a way now joined the conversation.

Naruto and Sasuke sat on the two single places across the table and were a rather interesting sight to observe. If one's gaze traced the attendants from one side to the other, he'd notice the full palette of moods. Glad to be on Naruto's side of the table and sip from his unrelenting liveliness and somewhat childish inclinations, Sakura found herself smiling widely most of the time. Whatever the company thought of her, she knew it was safe next to Naruto. He accepted her long before they got on the plane.

"Thanks, guys." He managed to reply in between the long intervals in which his mouth was full.

Sakura stopped not once in the middle of her eating process, stealing a glance at the people around her. She forced herself to admit, the ones that she was interested in were at the other side of the table. Karin had pulled her chair so that it almost pasted with Sasuke's and he, on the other side, looked like nothing mattered to him. The red-haired woman didn't care about that, it seems, and constantly renewed their conversations, sometimes she leaned in to speak in his ear and other times she'd smile but not that smile Sakura saw back in the Uchiha Estate. It was a warm, sincere smile. Sakura wondered what was her story. Overall, Sasuke appeared annoyed by her obtrusiveness but didn't stop her from babbling which meant he was either too tired to deal with her or she was much closer to him that Sakura thought.

Something in the shape of sadness, mixed with helplessness obsessed her at the sight. She was neither as beautiful nor as straightforward as that woman. She didn't envy her, just the opposite, she admired her. And there came the problem. All Sakura was, was an intruder.

The image of Karin, with only a coat on, loose hair and with all of her underclothes in her hands invaded her thoughts. It was a few hours ago when Sakura noticed her by accident. She left her own tent with the intentions of dropping by Ino but stumbled across her. She was a medic, Sakura concluded, so it was only natural to see her there. Only that her disheveled appearance and quickened pace spoke enough. She returned from another one's tent and used the fog as a cover for her actions.

She looked at Sakura with an empty expression. There was no emotion in her voice either.

 _You are not the first,_ she told her before turning to leave.

 _And you won't be the last._

Sakura withered, leaving her fork down on the table with a slow movement.

"You're late, Captain. There's no more food left." Naruto professed with his most serious intonation.

"You're sitting on my chair, Naruto."

After a verbal fight, Naruto yielded and a brief silence spread in the wide room. The sounds of quiet chewing and swallowing extended until Naruto didn't beam up on another subject. Something about the new design of the specialized designated marksman rifle, Sakura didn't exactly hear, focused on something else. The light created a distracting luster upon the steel of her cutlery.

She almost jumped in surprise when a warm touch raised her chin gently.

"What's wrong?" Kakashi tilted his head as if trying to read her mind but she was so fazed that she stood still for a few seconds before being able to think straight again. He slowly pulled his hand away but Sakura was already red in the face and ignored his questioning eyes as fast as she could.

"I, uh... what's wrong? Nothing's wrong." She grabbed her fork once again and pretended to have a renewed interest in her dish.

As she feared, Kakashi was not fooled so easily.

"You can tell me."

Sakura looked at him in wonder. He was so cheerful that it made her all the sadder.

"I just feel like... I don't belong."

His cheerfulness faded a bit as he grew pensive.

"I won't let that happen. You are part of our family now and you should feel like it."

"But all of you are so close to each other and I... I..." Sakura sighed, at a loss for words.

"Sakura," His tone surprised her so much that her irises widened. He seemed to be smiling again but her name was spoken quietly and with sincere pain. "If anything happens to any of you, it happens to me. I am sure you understand," He leaned in her and she held her breath, waiting for him to end the sentence but he just stood and watched her for a while. "If you are hurt, I am too."

"I-I understand." Sakura stammered, completely entranced by the view. A loose lock had fallen in front of his eye and it gave him the right amount of charm for her to get hit by the sudden urge to tuck it back in its place. She looked down at lightning speed, scattering away the ridiculous thought. What was she even upset about just now?

"You are blushing." He laughed and leaned back in his chair.

"No, I'm not," Sakura muttered under her breath, too embarrassed to look up again. Instead, she was about to stand up and took her dish. "I think I'm going to retire for the night."

The continuous murmur and conversation calmed her down. It was safe to say no one saw her blushing. Even if they did, she regained her composure soon enough.

"You don't seem to enjoy my company." He commented, eyeing the food in front of him. "Do you always leave early?"

"Do you always come late?" She parried, unable to hide the playful smile on her lips.

"Are you leaving, Sakura?" Naruto asked out loud before Kakashi could reply and the attention focused on her.

"That was the plan." She shrugged, giving out a nervous laugh.

"Ah...'kay then. I'll help you with cleaning the table since I'm done too."

"Count me in." Temari waved at her and after her everyone stood up in order to help her.

The gesture warmed her heart and dispersed her apprehensions. As much as she thought the team generally hates her, they proved her wrong and in the next minutes all she said was words of gratitude. It was another matter that Kakashi expressed his heavy disappointment in the whole team. Leaving him to dine on his own was disrespectful and mean.

"You deserve it," Naruto said, before leaving. "For making us wait today."

Usually, there would be two or three people who helped every squad with the dishwashing, the laundry and some other minor details tied to living in a field base so she wasn't surprised to meet a man and a woman in the back, where the so-called Military Field Sanitation Unit took place. Walking through the stock-room, she, with the help the others left their dishes to the staff there. It was a large space, filled with various equipment, including a Water Heater Module, Sanitary, and Cooking Equipment. As she ascertained herself, that section was where the food was prepared.

Sakura decided it'd be nice for her to wash the dishes since she wasn't tired at all and it would've been a good chance to show her usefulness. She was a rookie after all. Washing the dishes was a way to let the others know she didn't claim to be on their level. At least not yet.

The staff thanked her for the help and she parted with them on friendly terms, which she considered a success. She didn't mess anything up on the first day. If she made it out till the end, it'd be nice. As she walked back through the stock-room, her thoughts called to mind the way back to her tent but looking down was a mistake because the suddenness of the harsh force that pushed her back to the metallic frames. Muscles tensed, her breaths came short and fast with the pair of eyes, piercing through her with burning anger.

Sakura's uneasiness gradually increased with every second, now that he was a pace away and coerced her to remain still. Running away wasn't possible in her position, he held all trumps. Again.

"What's going on?" She successfully imitated calm intonation, although her voice came out slower than normal.

"How about you tell me?" Sasuke narrowed eyes at her.

Sakura raised a brow. He seemed to alter his intonation too. Perhaps the excessive hatred in him wasn't always as controllable as he presented it to be.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You are stupid but not that much." He snapped, annoyed by her lack of insight.

Sakura blinked, trying to comprehend what he hinted at. Her irises widened as he stared right in front of her. Could it be? She slowly raised her eyes to his but didn't know what to say. Her lips trembled in an attempt to form a word or two but nothing came out.

"I don't understand what you're accusing me in." Sakura finally replied, taking a sharp breath in the process.

"You talk with him. And you smile at him." Sasuke said through clenched teeth.

And then, out of nowhere, Sakura felt like laughing. There was something like a bubble that burst inside of her and now an urge to laugh caught her unprepared. The amusement surely was written on her face because his fists clenched in a slow and intimidating movement that reminded her to hold her emotions tight. Every time she engaged with that person she felt like they portrayed the closing up of a flame and a gunpowder. She knew what the outcome would be yet there was something thrilling about the constant tension.

"Is it forbidden to talk with the Captain?"

"You can't talk with him like that." He retorted right after she spoke out the last word of her sentence.

"Yes, I can. I am not a slave. I have a free will." Sakura furrowed at him but regretted it immediately because he stepped closer to her, twisting her wrist.

"I will not say it again." He warned in a low-voice and before the pain in her hand became unbearable he let go of her and left her staring at a point in the air, heavy breathing and more confused than ever before.

* * *

 _A/N: Hurray, I was able to update. Thanks to all of you who read this, I appreciate it. I can explain the delay, I was really sick and also University stuff. You don't wanna know. One of the professors has been a military officer for 30 years so I get to know some really interesting facts about the psychology and the mindset of a soldier. He wasn't ashamed to admit that many of the established psychological tests don't work on soldiers because all they can think is women. Funny but not really. Rather tragic. He said barracks were men's worst nightmare._

 _Anyway, I've always wanted a fic in which Kakashi is the 'father figure' to all of his inferiors so I kinda made it like that. Also, I fixed my messed up plan and I calculated all in all 28 chapters. For now. I might extend things a bit if I decide to. I've got some personal things to add up in chapter 15 but the actual mission is in 16th. See you next time._

* * *

 _Dear_ _ **Fienna,**_ _I think I'm speaking for every fanfic writer out there when I say kindness is the actual currency in this website. Your words have made me unimaginably rich. Thank you. I hope you'll like it ahead._

 _Thanks for reviewing,_ _ **JOY.**_ _As you see, Hint King Sasuke returns with another hint lol. He's so bad at expressing and that's kinda charming hah As for the losses, you'll see. Patience._

 _Thanks for the cute review,_ _ **Jum.**_ _Appreciate you leaving that._


	15. Drowning

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in it.**

* * *

 **XV.**

 **\- Drowning -**

"So this is where you guys sleep." Sakura was still looking around, while Ino sat comfortably in Sai's lap, absorbed in his drawings.

The hut was not as big as the ones she saw yesterday but big enough to accommodate the whole platoon and have a bed for each of the soldiers. Apart from the quiet drizzle coming from outside, there wasn't much noise to disturb the early afternoon silence, despite the fact that almost everyone from the squad was gathered under that same roof. At first, Sakura thought it wouldn't be appropriate to intrude her comrades' space like that but Ino convinced her and now she found herself sitting on Sai's bed, observing the people around her.

Most of them were laying on their own beds and did something that interested them. The infiltrating mission was appointed for tomorrow so they had to wait a day out. Accordingly, Shikamaru read a book, Tenten spoke with Temari about something while cleaning her gun, Lee was making abdominal presses. A little further Kiba and Chōji listened to music. Naruto made restless circles around Sasuke's bed as the latter was disassembling parts of what seemed to be a sniper.

Sai was already drawing when Ino dashed into him and made countless attempts to draw his attention. She ended up in his lap, clinging to his neck and watching him draw in something close to a trance, which made Sakura uncomfortable on a whole another level. Whenever Ino was with Sai, she would either embarrass herself with something and make her friend save the situation or just fall into one of those moods in which her friend was forced to retreat. Right now, it was the time for retreat.

Sakura recognized that look in Ino's eyes and there was no need for anyone to tell her that another one's presence wasn't required within the range of the two. It was subtle but still tangible. Sai was ignorant of the way Ino looked at his rapt expression, his usual emotionless mask now replaced by intent. Drawing brought some kind of character in him and seemed like more than just a hobby. Perhaps therapy was the better word.

Sakura sneaked away as quietly as she could, walking to the other side at a slow pace. Hands hugging her arms, she stopped next to Naruto and smiled at him.

"Hey."

"Hey. You alright?" Naruto raised a brow, questioning her thoughtful expression.

"Yeah." She lifted her shoulders in a small shrug, meeting Naruto's eyes. "Just thinking about things. What are you guys doing?"

Naruto stepped to the bed on which Sasuke sat, examining a black and long metallic pipe-like part, which Sakura assumed was the barrel, and stole something from the pile, spread across the sheet.

"Give it back to me, moron." Sasuke raised his head, the rage in his tone suggesting Naruto's current thievery wasn't the first one.

"Shut your mouth. I'm teaching Sakura."

Sasuke's glare shifted on Sakura.

"As if she'd learn anything from a dumbhead like you."

"I'm the First Lieutenant now and I can do whatever I like. I can even order you to shove that barrel up your-"

"Naruto." Sakura laughed. "Please."

He turned to her, handing her a shiny looking object that she recognized at once. The cartridge was shelled by a copper-nickel alloy and weighed more than she expected it to.

"S408 Seraph, 10.36 to 85 millimeters. This sweetie can pierce through anything. The performance is spectacular. You'll see stuff like this once in your lifetime."

"Am I supposed to be impressed by something like that?" Sakura mouthed absently, eyeing the bullet laying on her palm but her attention was soon dragged by a loud clutch.

She looked at Sasuke as he stirred the bolt to the already assembled body of the weapon, producing the clear sound. The scope still wasn't on but the sniper was in a whole shape now and the view was quite impressive. The design was somewhat artful and Sakura didn't think the ordinary sniper looked that way, as much as she had never seen one before. The carbon fiber in this one's chassis was dominating and the model had additional parts built-in, parts whose purpose she didn't know.

Naruto scoffed.

"You don't get it. The workmanship on this cadre of cartridges is perfect because they're a private production."

"Oh?" Sakura met his eyes.

"What do you think that _S_ in the beginning of the name stands for?" Naruto pouted, eyes on the man sitting in front of him. "Apart from being a sorry-ass, he's rich enough to afford himself those. Some of us are not as lucky."

"Give that back." Sasuke intervened dryly.

Sakura walked to his bed and sat across, handing him the heavy ammunition. He took and left it aside, without looking at her.

"The sniper's a private production, too, isn't it?" Folding hands, she watched him screw the scope to the main body with, a rare for him, calmness.

"Pretending to be interested in guns now?" He said, fixing the scope in place.

The heavy irritation in his voice contained enough negative charge for her to remain silent. Naruto sighed, sitting next to her. If she wanted a conversation, she had to reconcile with Naruto and Naruto only.

The door in the far end clicked open and Sakura turned to see two uniformed men enter the room, tired eyes and pale faces. Temari was the first to stand up and greet them. By the time she reached to hug them, Sakura was generally confused. Temari didn't seem to be as close to her comrades as she was with those two. And certainly not the type to be cordial to that extent.

"Who are they?" Sakura asked Naruto quietly, eyeing the new-comers.

"Kankurō and Gaara. They're from another platoon but come by often because of their sis."

The information lightened up Sakura's features. Siblings. She was certain that having brothers had a lot of positive sides. It was kind of weird that they appeared to have nothing in common, though. While Temari was blonde, with forest green eyes, Kankurō was overall dark in nuances. And the third one, he had an astonishing auburn hair and, Sakura had to admit, rather captivating celadon irises. Anyway, they seemed to get along very well.

"What's up, guys?" Shikamaru stood from his bed to greet them too, although his expression hinted that he did it reluctantly.

"We're coming from Konoha South." Gaara pulled out something from his pocket. It was wrapped up in a piece of cloth and tied with a cord. "The platoon will reside here for a while."

Thick silence expanded in the whole tent and Sakura glanced at Naruto, at a loss. The joy faded away with the mention of that name. Konoha South?

"We were there a month ago." Shikamaru scratched his head with an inconvenience. "Lost a lot of soldiers."

"I heard about it. Shimura's work."

"What's that?" Shikamaru wondered at the bundle in his hand.

"We had a way through the base..." Kakurō explained. "Most of the place was in ruins. Burnt to the ground."

"There are some things we found while passing." Gaara drawled, his voice lower and lower. "Thought he might want to keep it."

"He?" Shikamaru raised a brow.

"There's a... uh," Gaara looked up, his eyes fixing on the single person that wasn't interested in the group meeting they were currently in the middle of. "A carved fan on it."

Sakura's heart sunk with the realization and she shifted her eyes on Sasuke who was now looking down at his weapon without moving a single nerve. She wanted to do something about the gut feeling that slowly started to suffocate her but no one moved and no one said anything in one long moment. Gaara looked at his brother as if hesitating whether to speak or not.

"If you don't want it, I can get rid of-"

"I'll take it." Sasuke cut him off, standing up sharply.

Gaara took a breath and waited for him to get nearer.

"My condolences."

Sasuke took the cloth and loosened the tie, revealing a black steel combat knife but from the looks of it, the hold was a tad worn-out. Sakura didn't see much from that distance but was sure she wouldn't want to. Sasuke's expression was enough for her eyes to blur.

He covered the knife and nodded at Gaara before heading for the door. Everyone followed him leave and after the door shut, silence fell over. What surprised Sakura was that most of the attendants moved on with their activity as if nothing happened. She stood up but Naruto caught her wrist, stopping her.

"He'll come back."

She turned to look at him, her tears on the edge of falling.

"Does no one care..." Her voice faltered to a whisper.

"Don't worry." Before Naruto could finish his sentence she was already hugging him tightly and he almost jumped at the unexpected movement. "Uh, Sakura? What are you doing?"

"I want to hug all of you." She gave out a choked laugh.

"Oh. Okay." He hugged her back, his turn to laugh.

The fact that those people were her age devastated her and all she wanted was to cry. Losing so much has made them stronger and harder but she wasn't like them. She feared she'd never be. They didn't just accept death, they have grown used to it.

"That went well." Temari sighed, hooking at her brothers' arms. "You come sit on my bed now and tell me where you've been and what you've been doing in the last weeks."

"We're really tired, perhaps later..." Kankurō made a faint attempt to oppose but she had already pushed them down harshly, hands on her hips. Looming over the both of them, she squinted.

"I don't remember giving you a choice."

* * *

Her vision was out of focus as the drops gathered in the center of her palm. The warm water showered down on her in the small cabin. A crazy thought but it was, in fact, better than her own shower back in the apartment. Although that one was way simpler looking than hers. Not more than a square meter, with those white walls and a white door she got the feeling she was in a hospital. Truth be told, she missed her floral-scented shampoo and all those small things that made her feel good and... safe.

The water brimmed over the cup of her hand continuously and she gave up on the view, growing pensive. Was she strong enough to endure it? She liked to think herself strong but where did the truth lie, actually? Her emotions have always stood in her way. It wasn't until a year or two when she got a hold on them and balanced them enough so that they'd fit into the adulthood she had stepped in. What use, though, she never got rid of them completely. Always finding a way to apply them in different ways, in different situations.

Emotions got the best of her every time and she wondered if it was the right choice to fight them or it was better to let them take over. If one's entity was built on emotion, wasn't it wiser to master it so that it becomes a strength? As she thought about it, all her life she had always despised being so emotional and had tried her best to ignore that side of herself. But what if emotion wasn't as useless as everyone said it was? Having the point of view of a woman, her knowledge was limited. However, being sensitive proved to be life-saving in the literal sense. Perhaps she was going against herself, after all, withholding something that can be truly powerful.

Ceasing her thoughts rather abruptly, the door creaked open and her first reaction was to flinch a step back in shock, hands crossing in front of her chest in an instinctive defensive position.

Sasuke closed the door and leaned back on it, not bothered even a bit by the view. In fact, he appeared so casual about it that Sakura blushed in a deep crimson. How did he know she was in the shower? Her clothes hung on the door's inner metallic hook, next to the towels. And his... well, he didn't have any.

As small as the space seemed to her before that, now it was downright claustrophobic, with Sasuke, whose presence was oppressing itself. Sakura was aware her posture was ridiculous, considering how much of her body was exposed. Not that it was that much of a disaster but it was one to be stripped to nothing in a heavy dusk, another to stand completely naked, under a bright light.

A lot of seconds passed before her brows gradually formed a wrinkle of disapproval. Perhaps she was supposed to gloat over her victory since the words _stay away from me_ still echoed in her ears and here they were, skin and bones, standing against each other again. She would've gloated, she would've poured her heart out, sipping on the triumph she earned herself because he was the one to sag from his course but his eyes didn't let her. His anger was somehow abated or rather... tucked aside, giving place to something she'd never seen there before. Something like melancholy. As if he was too tired to be sad.

Gloat? No. But she could use a curse or two for getting upset so easily. It was beginning to scare her that she held such a person so close to her heart, despite her attempt to treat him as she treated everyone else. But the heart was a treacherous thing and her own always acquired a special tempo of beating when it got the chance to be close to him. The fact that a person who's in love has the same hormonal levels as the one suffering from schizophrenia wasn't funny anymore. Love was a sickness of the mind.

She didn't realize she had gotten away from the warm water until a shiver went through her body, coldness dripped from her short and damp hair onto her shoulders and down the curved, smooth line of her back.

"I've always wondered why girls shower for so long." He commented absently, scanning her from head to toe with a quick glance.

The reality of the situation hit her at the moment he spoke out loud. Sakura made an attempt to form a word or a sentence of some kind but to no avail. There could've been a chance of her replying if his body wasn't so distracting and if his intrusion wasn't as sudden. Was he always like that? Whenever his mind formed a desire of some kind he proceeded to fulfill it at the very second. She slightly bit her lower lip. It was such a bad idea, though, with both of them being in a place where everyone could pass by.

He stepped forward, taking advantage of the still flowing water with affected ease but he didn't fool her. She had seen that tensed posture before. His eyes were insatiable of her form, scrutinizing it with maddening precision. His observation was so thorough that it completely disabled Sakura's ability to speak. Instead, she just decided to leave the soap in her hands back to the soap-tray, using the movement as a distraction from him. That rapacious, thirsty look that slightly dimmed and darkened his vision was making her weak in the knees. He heated her up without getting to touch her even once. Burning red for sure, she gathered the courage to look back at him, hands relaxing at her sides. Looking at him had grown into some kind of an addiction. An unhealthy addiction, that is. She just couldn't find an escape from it.

It was that trance-like state she saw in Ino today, everything about him magnetized her. How he spared his words, choosing action instead. How he never admitted defeat, adamant and keen. And how, at the very moment, the water drops streamed down his sculptured body. The water outlined every inch of his defined skin. Sakura considered herself pale but his complexion resembled marble, white and immaculate. Almost immaculate, in fact. She forgot about the bullet wound on his shoulder. Although still dark red, the scar had acquired a healthier look now but she knew that a wound like that needed between three and six months to heal. As for his left hand, it was still an enigma for her. In any case, the markings have been received long ago. All in all, if he didn't look at her like that, she would've become envious on top of frustrated to her core.

Once the heavy thought process that apparently went on his mind during those minutes finally ceased, she found herself pushed against the wall. Not sure whether it was the coldness of the concrete or the pain he caused, forcing himself inside of her, her breath came out of her lungs sharply, mouth half-opened. He took advantage of it, entwining their tongues in a ravenous manner. The motion did start abruptly but once they united Sakura cleverly took up the kiss and slowed it down a tad. Careful with the bullet wound, her hands wrapped around his neck and pulled him closer, making them clasp their bodies together but the friction got her unprepared and she let out a soft moan.

"Keep it quiet, Haruno," Sasuke spoke in her mouth, hoarse and demanding.

Sakura narrowed eyes, stung by his words. As if it was her fault he invaded the shower like that and that he, fairly said, attacked her. And that he felt so breathtaking. Tilting her head, she deepened the kiss, fingers brushing through his wet hair. Her thighs strained with a dull ache but this time she couldn't move an inch. Clenching her to the wall with enough pressure, Sasuke heaved against her, avaricious and impatient. The pleasure emerged on top of the pain through multiple piercing spasms that wrung another moan from Sakura. Unable to smother her voice, she cursed herself mentally for wishing badly to extend that feeling. Not because she delighted in him with her whole being but because he made sure he doesn't give out he delighted in her. His struggle just attracted her all the more.

As much as she scolded herself for not training for almost ten days, now her muscles weren't as cut as before and her skin was softer than she had ever let it be, which seemed to be the preferred state. Sakura never got the chance to ask him about his type but judging from the way he relished on the spots where her skin was most delicate she concluded it was better she didn't train.

Out of breath and heart pounding, Sakura couldn't help back away a bit, breaking the kiss. Something was wrong... She was almost sure what, which helped a lot. Sasuke furrowed, leaning in to kiss her again but she insisted on making a pause, peering into his lustful eyes.

"Can I ask a question?" She asked, wheezy.

But he renewed the pressure, his palm leaning on the wall behind her. Although receiving an unsatisfying reply, a quiet cry escaped her lips, nails digging into the skin on his back involuntarily.

"If you manage," He whispered in her ear, lips tracing down the line of her neck, the tingling touch of his warm breath on her skin sending visible shivers down her spine.

Sakura exhaled slowly, head bent back and eyes closed. Just when she thought she had regained control over the sensations that mingled in her body, she felt his right hand slowly lifting her leg higher, grinding hard skin against soft. Sasuke hurried to claim her mouth in a persistent kiss before she could cry out louder that he'd allow. Apart from his quickened breathing and the way his fingers sometimes sunk into her skin, Sakura sensed nothing specific. There was retroaction, yes but no trace of feeling. His body was inflamed but his soul mute. Deeply bothered by his mechanical behavior, she began to think there was something wrong with her. Why was he so terribly quiet?

"It belongs... to your brother... isn't it?" Sakura parted her mouth from his only to try and form distinguished words in between the heavy sips of air. "The knife."

Sasuke froze for a split second but Sakura couldn't see his face because his temple already touched hers when she sought to read his expression. It always said so much but he chose to hide it this time. Because she hit the mark.

"Why didn't you..." Sakura breathed out, knowing that he would hear, no matter how quiet she spoke, "go to Kari-"

Eyes closing, her voice broke off with a loud moan, born out of his unceasing, zestful tempo. Her nails were sure to leave permanent markings on him. The continuous contracting of her body left her out of breath. It was a sweet torture to quiver and burn in a slow fire, tensed to a maximum underneath his strong hold but it clearly affected him too because it weakened a tad. His palm slid down as he tried to fight the maddening pulse of her body. In the midst of her ardent fever, a memory emerged in her, until now, completely empty of thoughts mind. The dry voice of a tutoress, as she talked to the soon-to-be doctors. Proud posture, big dioptres.

 _"Drowning people are unable to call for help... Voluntarily movement becomes impossible..."_

That state of hers he seemed to find most pleasing than anything else. Keeping her there, on the edge, locked in the cage of her own pleasure. With the keys in his possession.

 _"The respiratory system's primal function is breathing. Speech, dear colleagues, is subordinate."_

That was all he cared for. Getting the dose of power and dominance over someone. Those were the moments that were his ecstasy. Sakura just couldn't get over a cruelty of that kind. He did realize he crushed and trampled on her heart with every careless touch he exercised upon her, didn't he? Giving the fact that he could have Karin or anyone he wanted at any time, she assumed he only came to her to hurt and mock her for her grown attachment to him. To delve into her own soul in spite of his and shake its foundations until they crumbled to his satisfaction. She wanted to be mad at him, she wanted to hurt him too, striking at any of his weaknesses but he had none. How do you hurt someone who's lost everything?

 _"Opposite to what books and movies have taught you, drowning isn't screams nor cries. Get that off your head."_

Her body did not listen to her, searching to find a way to abate the fire and soon gave in to the powerful sensation that shook and obsessed her, granting her with the needed relief a few seconds before him.

The fear that she wouldn't be able to suppress her voice was mastered in time, with Sasuke's hand pressing against her mouth. She learned her lesson well the first time and remained still until he didn't decide to move. Her eyes opened, senses refocusing. The water still flowed but she noticed it just now. As if clenched with a vice, her chest tightened with every heavy breath taken. He fell really hard this time, didn't he? Otherwise, he wouldn't...

She didn't hear a single sound from him. Only breathing.

 _Drowning, in real life, is very hard to notice from aside because it's quiet._ _Remember that._

Once he made sure her palpitating was as normalized as his, he removed his hand and let her feet touch the ground with a slow movement. Sakura looked up at him, tilting her head with general confusion and a tinge of curiosity. What was with that expression? Goodness, he didn't get one of those PCD* hits, did he? There was no guessing with this one.

Sakura stepped aside, stopping the flow of the water and reaching for the towels on the door. She was supposed to feel used and deceived, which was supposed to make her angry. Yet, nothing of that caliber troubled her. There was only an overwhelming desire to alleviate the pain he carried but she didn't quite know how. Nothing worked by far. He seemed even worse than that time when he tried to end his life. If he only spoke out loud and told her about it. If he only spoke out loud and told her about anything that went on his mind. Sharing nothing was what Sakura thought the main issue in most people. As she thought about it further, even having sex with him was one-sided.

Sakura sighed, handing him a towel while covering her own body with another. She then stepped in front of him and peered into his eyes with a thoughtful expression.

"What?" Sasuke furrowed at her inspection.

Being a doctor, Sakura ascertained that humans never ceased to amaze. What a mystery they were and how unique each one of them stood in that vast world. At the same time... they weren't very different from one another in some spheres of life.

"I came here because I had to see... what you see, in order to understand." Sakura pondered.

"You haven't seen a thing."

"I'm afraid it's not the battlefield." Sakura ignored him, continuing. "It's just you."

He remained silent. Of course, he did. But she waited, certain that he'd come up with one of those vehement remarks of his, the ones that burnt through her heart like hot iron.

"Why do you not hate me then? If I'm so bad in your eyes."

Sakura chuckled, smoothing the towel along her form.

"That's..." She cast him a playful glance. "That's what you would do."

His furrow only deepened but the clothes hanging on the door presented a greater interest for her at the moment. Taking them by hand, one by one, she ignored his presence completely.

"Kakashi invited me over to his tent, you know. On a shot of whiskey. Said he kept it for special occasions."

"It's Captain Hatake, to you." He growled, his voice even lower than before.

"Oh, he said he doesn't like to be called by titles or such." Sakura shrugged. "Guess I'll stick with Kakashi."

Her hand reached for the handle and set the door ajar but Sasuke bashed it shut, making her flinch. Teasing him was the only way to get some spoken words out of his mouth. It wasn't the safest method but... it worked the last time. Leaning back, she still smiled at his furious expression.

"I rejected his offer." She stood on her tiptoes, the sudden closeness reminded him to step away but she caught his hand in the motion. "But you can come and visit my tent whenever you like. Is that alright with you?"

For the first time, he didn't endure her beaming eyes and lowered his in something that looked like resignation. Sakura squeezed his hand lightly, hoping that the gesture was reassuring enough but he pulled away from her abruptly and opened the door, leaving before she could say anything to stop him.

Sakura knew there was a kind heart somewhere under all of that layered darkness and that's why she smiled again, despite that in the usual circumstances smiling with no one around would suggest the presence of a mental illness of some kind.

* * *

 _ ***** Post-Coital Dysphoria (PCD), also called Post-Coital Tristesse (PCT) is the feeling of sadness, anxiety, agitation or aggression after sexual intercourse._

* * *

 _A/N: Ok, did you guys know that drowning people actually can't scream or shout or call for help because their brain tells them to breathe and they can't actually use their voice? I didn't. Shame on me. And I live next to a sea... Anyway, thanks for reading. I'm so happy to be able to write some scenes with only SasuSaku. Ugh, they're so perfect together, I can't cope. There's this thing about Sasuke that's really bad for fanfic writers. He's_ _not_ _romantic. Never. He has the potential, though. Sakura is flexible and I can mold her easily but Sasuke is a nightmare. A word or a gesture too much would turn him OOC. Really hope that won't happen. Although jealous!Sasuke is actually a bit OOC itself. Also sorry, I am so bad at writing sex, that's why I ignore writing it but EH._

 _I'm updating this earlier because I really need to take care of my other fic. People are waiting for 3 months there and I shouldn't make them wait any longer. Uhh, I'll see when I can update here again, I hope it's gonna be soon. Chapter 16 is, I have to_ _ **warn**_ _you in advance, quite violent. I describe some serious violence there, in a scene or two. I am not pro-violence, just the opposite, I just love details. And it's important for the plot. 'Till next time._

* * *

 _ **annekay,**_ _thanks for dropping a review and letting me know how you feel about this. I'll be honest here, the main idea for this fanfic was a dystopian original story that was born out of a sentence my big brother told me: "How cool would it be if the world was all covered in asphalt, though." Hah. As for Sasuke, he never explains anything lol. Too proud for this s***. I said it once, I'll say it twice. He relies on Sakura's keenness and sensitivity in everything he does. You receive additional high five for being a potential namesake. My first name's Ann, too._

 _All those namesakes, I can't._ _ **Ana,**_ _love, don't worry about your English, it's not my native language either. We try out best. English talking people often don't realize there are other languages spoken in this world. I'm happy you like my story and understand the struggle. Have a high five._

 _Okay,_ _ **LuizaMartins,**_ _thank you for liking the story. Glad I had a way to understand what you said._

 _Thanks for the reaction,_ _ **Esther-himechan.**_ _When Sasuke's on focus, I'm aiming for both funny and tragic at the same time. Thanks for letting me know I did it right._

 _ **Joy**_ _,_ _really happy you like the family thing. I thought I was the only one who wanted that kind of a relationship at least once in a fic. Glad you find jealous Sasuke funny, too, but it was time to change the mood in this chapter. Hope it came out as I planned it to._


	16. I Battlefield

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in it.**

* * *

 **XVI.**

 **\- Battlefield -**

The military truck passed through an afforested area and the road... well the road could barely be called a road. More of a mired and uneven path. The concussions at every hollow and hole didn't seem to be an issue for the driver because he didn't slow down for an hour now and Sakura, along with the rest in the trunk area, sat and waited patiently.

Several of these trucks separated at the main road, following the plan. Namely, the teams were infiltrating the small village from the five sides that were most likely to be used as an escape route from Shimura and his men, in case he forestalled their coming. Thanks to the secret intelligence, they received the information that he is not alone and would probably be well-prepared for an ambush. If things didn't work out for him, he would try to run away, Shikamaru declared before they left, but they would've seen it coming, ready for that scenario too. All those times the Government couldn't hunt the criminal down were because the teams underestimated their opponent.

"You okay?" Naruto pushed her shoulder and she flinched, blinking at him. "It's gonna be fine."

"Stop it." She snapped, already angry with the amount of underestimation everyone held for her.

Since the mission started, various remarks concerning the color of her face and the condition of her stomach have been made and she tried her best to not punch anyone. Little did they know she was scared _for_ them. It was on her to keep them safe and alive. Not completely on her, though, she wasn't the only medic in the team.

Yesterday Kakashi shared the strategy they were to undertake and the team was separated into smaller groups of three. The threesome she participated in didn't make her particularly happy. Although now, a few hours after they've been separated, she thought it's best she ended up with Naruto. And Sasuke. Good thing that Sasuke was in another vehicle, with Kakashi. Having him around was going to destroy her self-confidence. Sakura looked up, examining the faces around her. Raw and emotionless, they almost frightened her for she hadn't seen any of them in such state.

Expect she and Naruto, within that truck were Ino, Shikamaru, and Chōji. All of them were concentrated to their maximum, staring at a point down. Everyone was armed with at least two weapons, a rifle (or a pistol, for the medics), and a knife. As everyone else, Sakura wore the improved matter of the black uniform that covered the whole body from head to toe like a suit. Black masks hid most of their faces, leaving only the eyes bare but all of them had specialized glasses that they still kept on their foreheads. A midnight blue vest was the other important part of the attire because it contained the necessities every soldier needed to carry along, mainly for the additional ammo.

Sakura and the other medics differed only with the small backpacks they carried, with medical supplies. As she got to know later, many years the medics used to carry a white band with a red cross tied on their upper arm but the signature was recently abolished due to the fact that medics were an easy target with that band on and therefore many of them were the first to fall in an exchange of fire.

The village they were headed to was downright miniature compared to Konoha but that didn't mean there weren't civilians living in it. It was on the pathway between the two larger cities, Amegakure and Iwagakure. A perfect hiding place for a criminal, Sakura thought, a place where nothing important happened, among civilians. That's exactly what bothered her. The collateral damage. All those people that didn't know a skirmish was about to happen right outside their homes. Did the team think about those people? Or they were so used to death that the only thing that could trouble their minds was not being able to execute the Captain's orders? In any case, Sakura prayed she won't have to use the heavy metal pistol, resting in the sheath on her right hip.

She had to admit it, a big bundle of nerves really had formed in her stomach and it obstructed her normal breathing process, transforming it into a struggle for air every time her chest heaved. It didn't help her to see her comrades so composed and confident. Even well-trained, she still doubted her own strength but for their sake, she had to even out with them and watch over them. It was her duty and an inner conviction, too.

Soon they stopped and Sakura's train of thoughts was ceased. She gave Naruto an inquiring look, not daring to speak out loud anymore. He stood up and shouldered his rifle, getting out of the truck. Within the second he made a circle with his hand, up in the air, everyone got out.

Upon leaving the truck, Sakura noticed a thick wall in the distance. One that resembled Konoha's a bit but that was smaller, two times the height of a man.

"Teams Ten and Seven. We've arrived at the Fifth Checkpoint." Naruto spoke quietly into the transmitter.

 _"Move off to the rally point."_ Kakashi's voice echoed back. _"Team Ten will take the Fourth Checkpoint."_

Naruto waved at Shikamaru and the latter nodded, sprinting in the opposite direction. Ino glanced at Sakura before following him with Chōji. They ran along the line of the wall and disappeared from their sights soon enough.

"Let's go." Naruto murmured and Sakura trailed closely after him.

* * *

 _"Someone fix the corner." Shikamaru waved absently, his gaze already estimating the size of the building in particular._

 _The working plan he opened up, unfortunately, didn't open up completely as one corner was still folded on the other side. That wasn't his primal concern at the moment since his mind was preoccupied with calculations and finding the most efficient route through the old factory, the one Shimura was supposedly hiding at._

 _"Fix it yourself." Temari puffed, leaning on the wall, whereat laughter spread across the whole room._

 _Shikamaru shot a continuous glare at her, although a slight heat had risen up to his face. Sakura stood next to Ino and Sai and observed the scene with amusement. There was something spectacular in the way Temari stultified with ease everything Shikamaru built and conquered in the lands of logic and intellect. Although he was known to be uninterested to his very core and bored most of the time, she was probably the only thing on this world that could infuriate him to the extent of gripping his attention completely._

 _A loud hoot and voices rose up at the sight, including various insults and phrases of the sort "Get a room."_

 _"We," Shikamaru emphasized, his eyes on the map once again. "will have to be very careful."_

 _"Oh yeah?" Naruto teased him._

 _"Shut up and listen to me. The factory has two levels. The upper one is a working facility and there will be civilians. The lower one is our objective. It's an underground labyrinth. We'll talk about it later."_

 _"Are we just gonna burst into it?" Chōji asked out loud._

 _"Kakashi already filled us in on the borderline influx points we're taking. Left the further explanation to me... unfortunately." Shikamaru furrowed, leaning over the plan. He pointed at the main entrance. "Three of five teams will go through the front because the possibility of it being guarded more than the exits is very high. The other two will take the exit on the back and the emergency one, through the west wing."_

 _He sighed._

 _"Breaching through the village wall is the tricky part, actually._ _As far as we know, there are multiple observation posts along the border. Once we're in, it should get easier."_

 _"Why can't we just go through the normal village entrances? Shouldn't get more fussy than usual. We can take five to seven people down without making a single sound." Tenten offered, shrugging._

 _"We want to be as subtle as possible. If Shimura's men warn him about us in advance, our chances drop significantly. Much less, Kakashi wants him alive."_

 _"No firing at will," Naruto noted._

 _"Exactly."_

 _"Let's say..." Temari started, nearing Shikamaru at a slow pace. Her eyes ran through the plan absently. "We get noticed by those on the observation posts." She paused, looking up at him. "Wouldn't be much of a surprise. We are fast but not invisible."_

 _"You're right about that. But..."_

 _The whole room sunk into silence as Shikamaru was giving Temari an inquisitive look. Gradually, a smirk altered his serious expression._

 _"We've got Sasuke to take care of that."_

 _Temari scoffed._

 _"Forgot about him. But how do we know if those guards aren't working for the Government, like us? Most villages and almost every city have a similar guarding system and a border wall."_

 _"We don't know. That's exactly why everyone is a potential target. My guess is Shimura's men are mingled among the Governmental Soldiers. A good enough reason for Sasuke not to spare anyone. He won't be killing them, of course. But that's his part. We worry about ours."_

 _"Alright, then." Temari folded hands._

 _"Now." Shikamaru took a breath. "Let's get back to the factory. There's a high risk of us making a bloodbath there. The civilians can present an obstacle if we find ourselves under fire. I suggest we use smoke bombs should that happen. Give them some time to evacuate."_

 _"Agreed." Lee intervened from the back._

 _"What's next..." Shikamaru leaned on the table with both hands. "Everyone gather around the table. You need to see the safety positions and the potential hiding places."_

* * *

They reached the wall and Naruto leaned to Sakura.

"Just how I told you. We have to be quick. "

Sakura interlocked her hands in a tight twine and slightly hunched. Naruto stepped a few meters away only to dash her way and, with her help, jump higher enough to climb over the wall's edge. If someone had witnessed their movements from aside, they surely would've reminded him of a dance. In the second Naruto climbed over he reached for her already raised hand and pulled her up with a one, supple motion.

They wasted no time and jumped down on the other side where, thankfully, no one waited for them. In fact, a few houses, separated by fences and a road were scattered across a green lawn. Voices echoed through Naruto's transmitter as every team reported a successful breaching but Sakura's irises widened at the sight of an observation post, almost completely hidden in the trees. Two armed men just noticed them when Sakura reached for Naruto's arm and he pushed her, both sprinting toward a solid fence before the riveting sound of flying bullets was sent their way.

"They saw us! I repeat, they saw us." Naruto outcried the noise, reporting and within the second he said it the firing ceased after the two muffled hissing sounds reached their targets.

 _"You just couldn't resist, could you?"_ Sasuke's dry voice reached their ears and Sakura raised her head.

"Is it clear?" Naruto raised a brow.

 _"It is."_ Multiple hissing sounds followed, this time coming from through the transmitter.

 _"Does the village know we're here?"_ Shikamaru intervened.

 _"How do you think?"_

"Clean up every post, then." Naruto grinned, looking up at Sakura. "That's an order."

 _"I already did. Should I clean you up, too?"_

Sakura's eyes followed a blue point crawling up to Naruto's forehead and switching up to a red color. Naruto noticed her reaction and furrowed but before he could say anything through the transmitter Kakashi stopped them.

 _"Hurry and get to your objective,"_ He ordered, ceasing the squabble. _"We've got no time."_

* * *

 _"What is Sasuke going to do, exactly?" Sakura asked, curious. Her voice was close to a whisper when she got near Naruto and started a conversation, although Shikamaru still talked about the average time any of them needed to get to the factory._

 _"He usually finds a high ground from where he can have a clear vision of the area. Then," Naruto paused. "depends on the situation, really. I think he'll go with tranquilizers for his first targets."_

 _"Tranquilizers?"_

 _"Yeah, those are something like darts that put down the person immediately. Usually, the target remains unconscious for quite a while. Thing is, if he fires with his Seraphs, the whole village's gonna find out we're coming. That sniper of his... it's loud."_

 _"I see." Sakura nodded._

 _"Kakashi said he's gonna go with him and... they're gonna join us afterward."_

 _"With him? Why?"_

 _Naruto shrugged._

 _"Truth be told, Kakashi is acting all weird in the last weeks. I think high-levels are involved. Watching over us like we're a bunch of first-graders... not his style."_

 _"Could it be that they're concerned about Sasuke? Demoting him was quite the move." Sakura scoffed. "I'm pretty sure he wasn't as happy as he looked back then."_

 _"Trust me, he wasn't. He almost killed me in my sleep that night." Naruto grinned at Sakura's terrified expression. "Said I don't deserve to lead the platoon. Said I was a nonentity that won't see progress in anything it does because it's soft and relies on the humane in a world of monsters."_

 _Sakura was at a loss._

 _"Are you serious?"_

 _"Completely. 4 am, held his knife to my throat." Naruto paused, looking at her again. "Your kindness will be your destruction, he said."_

 _"Oh goodness," Sakura mouthed, uncertain what to say._

 _"Not that it's much of a surprise but he didn't sleep at all in the last three days. I don't know but I've never seen him that freaky."_

* * *

The awful silence in that village only rose the tension in Sakura. The temperatures were around zero but it was a dry coldness and fortunately, the fog had lifted. It was around 9 am but the village was almost desolate. Shifting from one spot to another, swift and quiet, Sakura and Naruto didn't face obstacles on their way to the factory. Here and there, a passer-by crossed their way or a dog barked at them but nothing more.

She followed Naruto's gestures because once they got deeper into the village, talking wasn't recommended. Ten blocks further, they finally saw the edifice. An old, rather big concrete structure with wide windows. The row of black pines and their massive crowns hid most of the building's face, though, and the field of vision was limited. Pasting to the wall of the house across, Naruto looked around and saw Team 10 already kneeling and waiting for the others to gather on the house next to theirs. Shikamaru nodded at Naruto and adjusted the visor to his eyes. Thermal vision.

A few minutes passed before Team 13 appeared, too. Lee, Tenten, and Sai stopped behind a fence and kneeled, placing their visors.

Sakura pulled out her gun and waited for Naruto to give orders. But he was still expecting the other two teams. According to the plan, Sakura also had to follow Naruto and her other comrades down to the lower level so she also set her visor in place, put on her mask and tried to calm down, feeling her heart beating faster with every second.

"I don't like how it looks." A quiet voice startled both Naruto and Sakura and they turned to see Kakashi behind them.

"What do you mean?" Naruto slid down the wall and Sakura mirrored. "Are there hidden units we don't know of?"

"Just the opposite. There isn't anyone outside." Kakashi leaned on his rifle and stood up. "We should move."

Naruto last fixed his vision and brought out a smoke grenade, glancing at Shikamaru who nodded at him.

"Alright, guys," Naruto said on the transmitter. "Go, go, go."

In the moment they breached through the wide entrance door, the grenades released the smoke and Sakura heard screams of mainly women but she saw the factory was full with sewing machines and the workers behind the tables looked like ordinary citizens.

"If you value your life, leave the factory at once!" Kakashi shouted out while Naruto held his hand up high, withholding the whole team from firing.

A big part of the workers still screamed but headed to the exit, coughing and groping. But at least two dozens hid behind the furniture and laid on the ground, freezing.

"Leave the factory at once, we will do you no harm!" Kakashi repeated but no one dared move.

The Squad advanced further but the silence was never as oppressing. Trailing closely after Naruto and Kakashi on their lane, all she saw was two nuances, gray and white. The thermal vision allowed her to discern the figures around her, despite the dense smoke.

"You are free to go." Kakashi's voice was still demanding but not as loud because the people who hid were a few meters away now.

In that moment, Sakura saw the motion one of the workers made. He reached for something under the table but before she could warn Shikamaru screamed instead of her.

"They're armed. Take cover!"

Sakura forgot to breathe within that split second in which her whole team shifted behind the walls that separated the sections and the furniture, she included. The wave of bullets poured out with a shrill and unpleasant noise that hurt the ears. Sakura shrunk behind a column and Naruto took shelter next to her, both heavy breathing.

"You alright?" Naruto almost shouted, over the bullets.

"Yes. You?" Sakura scanned him from head to toe but fortunately, found no injuries.

"Yeah. Where's Kakashi?"

That dreadful gut feeling shrunk her stomach into a tight ball. He was at the very front. She and Naruto were behind him the last time she saw him.

"I didn't see him coming our way." Sakura peeked across the hall.

The ambush was well handled because the teams have gathered in one place and advanced as one. Everyone was on their feet, except for Tenten that was now sitting behind a table. She must've received a wound because Karin was treating her at the very moment.

"There!" Naruto exclaimed and Sakura traced his gaze to the other side. Kakashi was hiding in a bad position, behind one of the end tables. Too close to the armed workers.

"I can't go there on my own, I need backup." Naruto looked at Sakura and she nodded.

"Captain?" Naruto yelled at the transmitter. "We'll make a distraction. You need to retreat, you're too close to them."

 _"Is Kakashi wounded?"_

 _"Kakashi?"_

The ringing clamor of the bullets still echoed and Sakura could feel the sound soaking in her mind. The firing was unceasing, how were they going to drag the attention? She looked back for a split second but a bullet grazed her shoulder.

 _"Don't do stupid things,"_ Kakashi replied, with a bit of a delay. _"Even if you buy me time I'm not really sure I can move right now."_

Holding the button on, Naruto exchanged looks with Sakura, confused.

"He's probably wounded. We gotta go to him immediately." She said, quickly. "But the firing doesn't stop."

 _"It won't stop soon. The smoke doesn't allow them to see us clearly."_ Shikamaru's voice echoed. _"They won't take the risk of giving us a chance to attack."_

"We can wait out until they're out of bullets," Naruto suggested.

"Kakashi might not have that time." Sakura intervened, quietly.

 _"Are they equipped with masks?"_ Sasuke asked, suddenly.

 _"No... I don't think so."_

"No," Naruto confirmed. "Why?"

 _"Throw all of your smoke grenades at them."_

"Clever son of a bitch." Naruto murmured before ordering the team to do it.

It took around three minutes for the firing to stop completely. The strategy worked, intoxicating everyone who didn't have a mask unconscious, although the smoke became so dense that Sakura felt like it soaked through her uniform. Once it was safe to walk around freely, everyone went straight to Kakashi. Sakura couldn't see anything through that thermal visor and it angered her. Silhouettes didn't tell her much about the others' conditions.

"Are you hurt?" Naruto kneeled in front of his captain.

"I'm fine," Kakashi said, breathy. "You need to capture Shimura."

"You're not fine. Obviously. Sakura, help me get him out of the factory." Naruto took one of his hands and took his weight upon himself but Sakura sheathed her gun right away and helped.

Kakashi started coughing within the second he was on his feet but Naruto led him directly out of the smoke.

"We're going," Shikamaru warned Naruto and he agreed with the decision, promising to join his team in a second. He left Kakashi right outside the factory, to the wall.

"You take care of him and..." Naruto paused while putting Kakashi carefully on the ground. "Don't go anywhere. Right?"

"Right." Sakura was glad to put off her visor and her mask, kneeling next to her captain. She looked up at Naruto, brows wrinkled. "Be careful down there. All of you."

"We will." He waved at her and disappeared back into the smoke.

* * *

 _A/N: I'm splitting the chapter in two because it turned out 7000+ words and I don't want it so long. I'll post the second part sooner than usual 'cause I've already written it. If there's a delay, it's probably because I didn't like something and I'm rewriting stuff. Again. Enjoy._

* * *

 _The real MVP 'round here, **misssbehavin.** Lol, I feel so flattered that you like what I write to that extent. Hope the chapters ahead won't disappoint._

 _And you, **zeroandsix,** totally made me blush right on the spot. It's getting ridiculous, I thought I'd write some weird s*** just for the fun. You know, like, "do it for the vine" thing. Just because I wanted to read something like that and there wasn't an AU like that. Me and the trite SasuSaku. Thought there will be 3 people reading me 'till the end lmao_

 _Happy to learn and to share some random info and facts with my readers, **Fan,** I actually try to stick with medicine when in Sakura's head. I think it's kinda hot she does that. She's like "Gosh, his skin is prettier than mine but that wound will need 6 months to heal... but he's sexy though" lol_

 _Yeah, **MademoiselleRED.** He's totally thinking he can use people just like that, 'cause he's important or something. You see, he's rich and 23 and handsome. It's a typical behavior._

 _Really sorry, **Guest,** but you got it all wrong if you think Sasuke went to Sakura all because of her body. I thought I was being clear on that detail._

 _Sending you all of my love, **Riela.** You're an inspiration. xoxo_

 _Glad you like it, **caslspirit15.** Truth be told, he doesn't care who's hurt and who's not as long as he gets to smother his pain and the whole mess in his head. That's what I thought Sakura was mistaking in the original story, to be honest. Her old, annoying self hoped naively that he'd change but he didn't. It was good that as she grew with the years she understood that the one to change had to be her. The thing with Sasuke is that he wasn't actually himself. He was his hatred, for all those years and Sakura saw through it. It's funny because there are days in which I wake up and I hate everything and everyone and I hurt people with my words and I'm cruel and at the end of those days I always wonder what happened. I'm thinking "This is **not** me." And I just thought that Sasuke is kind of in that condition but for years and when I get to the small part of this fanfic when I write from Sasuke's POV, I'll make sure I reflect that. I've always seen him as a tragic character, simply because he's driven by hatred he hasn't wished for. I'll stop right here lol. _


	17. II Battlefield

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in it.**

* * *

 **XVII.**

 **\- Battlefield -**

Kakashi took off his visor too and heaved a heavy sigh. He was pressing the spot under his lower left side and Sakura touched his hand gently.

"Let me see."

"What a bad time and place to die." He noted, in his usual thoughtful manner. "You know what, I've always thought I'd die on my birthday."

"You're not dying, you're delirious." Sakura glanced up at him. "You better stop talking because you've lost a lot of blood."

"Today's not my birthday, is it?" He narrowed his eye at her but she had completely shut him out, biting her lower lip at the sight of his bullet wound.

"I'm pretty sure it has ripped the spleen but I'm not sure if the last rib isn't broken." She slightly parted where the uniform was torn, furrowing. "I really hope it's not because I can't treat it in these conditions."

"You're so sexy when you talk like that."

Sakura didn't give him any attention but he sure sounded like he's having fun.

"You better lay down, I can't examine the wound when it's bleeding like that."

"As you wish, doctor." He obeyed and slowly slid down on the ground.

"Can you breathe freely?" Sakura opened up the matter a bit more.

"Yes."

"Good, the lungs are not harmed. But..."

The bullet was still in. _Dammit..._ she couldn't perform that kind surgery right now. All she could do is pack the wound. Was the rib broken? Sakura lightly pressed the blueish skin over the wound and a spasm ran through him. He groaned from the pain but the sound was wondrously twisted in laughter. Alright, it was probably broken. His brain couldn't comprehend the pain fully, it seems, and that wasn't so bad. In the moment it did, he was most likely going to lose consciousness.

"I'm going to pack the wound but we'll have to get back to the base for me to take out the bullet," Sakura explained to him seriously but he closed his visible eye. "Kakashi," She called demandingly and he opened his eye again. "Not the time to sleep. Not now."

"What should I do then?"

Sakura couldn't help but smile while putting on the hemostatic agent ***** she pulled out from her backpack. His tone was I'm-bored-on-a-Saturday-afternoon casual. Way too casual than it should be.

 _"Back me up, I'm getting in."_ It was Temari's voice that broke their conversation.

 _"Don't go so far ahead, stick with us."_ Shikamaru snapped, irritated. _"What a drag."_

 _"What a bore." She retorted._

 _"Take Tenten and go check the other rooms,"_ Naruto ordered. _"I'll check this one here. Kiba, on my mark."_

Sakura furrowed, eyes to and fro. Being able to hear them that way, when they were in the middle of the mission... there was something extremely unnerving about it. Everything was happening as if in front of her eyes but her hands were tied and she could do nothing about it. She prayed they'll be safe. The transmission cut off and the silence renewed.

This morning was so wonderous that Sakura needed two seconds to come back to her senses and blink, refocusing on Kakashi.

"Why is Sasuke not with us?" She asked the first thing that came to her mind, trying to make him talk, instead of letting him fall asleep. The lesser evil. Gauzing the wound was the next thing she had to do. It was going to get a tad more painful so she had to distract him with something anyway.

Kakashi took a deep breath and exhaled.

"I had to keep him away from the direct front. He's prone to excessive violence and is not as stable as I want him to be. He... should be here any moment. I ordered him to look out for surprise attacks. Having a watchful eye from above assures me we're not vulnerable."

Sakura met Kakashi's eyes for a moment before pressing the narrow pieces of lint deeper into the wound so that it packs nicely. She lifted her hand quickly as he groaned again, muttering a curse under his breath.

"Warn me when you're doing this the next time, alright?" His breathing was getting more and more shallow with every word.

"Sorry about that. I have to do it because you're going to bleed to death otherwise. Would you feel better if I tell you in advance?" She proceeded with placing another piece of cloth. "Get ready."

The color of his skin almost disappeared when she applied it, though it was as fast and as gently as she could.

"Ugh, you're right. It's worse." He took heavy sips of air, attempting to laugh again but the weakness didn't let him. "Can I sleep now?"

"This is the time when medics say _Think about a relative_ or something like that, you know," Sakura warned. "I have to press again."

"Rude." He sighed, this time able to give a frail laugh. "What about the ones who haven't got any?"

Sakura looked at him, the lump in her throat already forming and threatening to deprive her of her ability to speak confidently. She wouldn't want that right now because the confident tone calmed the patient down and assured him he's in good hands. His words struck her before she could brace herself for them.

"Then, you can think of someone you love," She changed, shrugging inconveniently. "and how you'll meet them soon."

"Mm," He looked up to the sky, thinking. "Not sure I'm ready to meet her yet."

 _Oh, God._

Tears blurred Sakura's eyes as she stared at him, forgetting about the wound for a second.

"Well..." She whispered, taking his cold hand in hers. The pause extended as she thought what to say. His hints pierced through her heart like daggers, despite their nonchalant appearance.

"I am here."

"You shouldn't cry on my birthday."

"It's not your birthday." Sakura's body trembled with a quiet laughter, despite the tears that traced down her face. "You said 15th of September that one time. Today's 12th of November."

"What if I lied to you?"

"Okay." She smiled at him. "I'll press again now."

She felt his hand gripping hers as she applied the needed pressure on the wound and kept it applied for a while.

"I'm sorry." She breathed out, holding his tired eye. "Will be over soon."

"You're so beautiful," Kakashi remarked, completely out-of-subject.

"Thank you." Sakura nodded, smiling widely. The comical about all this was that she couldn't tell if that was the real him or it was the him, twisted by the blood loss.

 _"Holy Mother of-"_

 _"What happened?"_ Naruto asked, abruptly. _"You guys alright? We just captured him and his men. They didn't really put up a fight, though. Weird."_

 _"What the hell is this?"_ Tenten hissed. _"Naruto, bring Kiba here right now. We've got a time bomb. "_

 _"That bastard..."_ Shikamaru growled in a low voice. _"I knew he'd plant a bomb somewhere. I just knew it."_

 _"We're coming,"_ Naruto reported and loud footsteps followed, cut off once again.

What?

Sakura stared at a point in the air without moving, terror crawling underneath her skin and finding its way to her heart. A time bomb? A _real..._ time bomb?

"Sakura," Kakashi called her and she looked at him, frightened. "They'll make it. Kiba is a sapper, the one thing he loves as much as dogs is defusing bombs. He's doing it for years now."

"Is that supposed to calm me down?" Sakura's voice trembled, almost hysteric. "My comrades are there, my..." She stopped, looking down. "My friends."

"How much time do we got?" Kakashi spoke in the transmitter.

 _"Six minutes... roughly said."_ Naruto's reply came with a delay. _"Kiba's working on it."_

"Speak to me. Is it something he can handle? If not, we have to get out of here and secure the area. If the factory blows up-"

 _"Captain, Shimura just told us there are several bombs across the whole village and if they're not defused in time, everyone in the radius of ten miles dies."_

 _"Good news is, they're connected,"_ Kiba reported, quickly. _"If I defuse this, I defuse all of them. And the village... will not blow up."_

Kakashi closed his visible eye for a moment.

"Kiba, I don't want to pressure you right now but you've got a few thousand lives in your hands."

 _"You better treat us to that fine whiskey you keep mentioning, sir. If we go back to the base in one piece tonight, that is."_

"I give you my word." Kakashi looked at Sakura. "I'm not sharing that whiskey with any of you."

 _"You hold on there, Kakashi. We'll do our part."_ Naruto beamed, his words bringing light into the dark tunnel.

Sakura shook her head slowly. There was some kind of power in Naruto, one that was able to inspire hope in the darkest of times. She didn't know if he realized this power of his but his timing sure was perfect. The transmitter went off and Sakura held Kakashi's gaze for a couple of the longest minutes of her life. Although her heart pounded vigorously against her chest, her mind was somewhat calm and quiet. Her thoughts floated without an aim, toward no purpose.

She didn't feel the cold ground underneath, neither the faint, late autumn sun in the morning sky above her. As if nothing... mattered within that vacuum-like silence. What did she leave in this world? Nothing in particular. She and her unending war with herself. That's all she remembered when she looked back at her life. Useless hours, lost in thinking, trite quarrels and cheap thrills that didn't even satisfy her. If she didn't spend so much of her time being at the hospital and trying to help people, she would've considered herself an utter disaster. At least that. So she left something good in her life, after all. It was almost enough to ease her conscience.

"I did lie to you about something else, though." Although his voice trembled a tad, Kakashi opened up another conversation and dragged her attention.

"Oh?" She forced a smile, despite her morbid thoughts.

"He didn't reject you. He said you're good enough and I won't make a mistake if I take you on the team."

Sakura's lips parted in a silent awe.

"Why did you tell me he rejected me, then?" She asked, out of pure curiosity.

Kakashi didn't give an answer, contemplating her.

Even if he planned to speak, he missed the chance because the doors of the factory bashed open again and Sakura turned to see her team going out with the hostages. A couple of men with tied hands and gagged mouths were pushed ahead and forced to kneel on the ground. A sigh of relief almost came out as a sob when Sakura saw them coming out of the factory.

"You guys were really fast."

"We are kind of in debt to Kiba now." Ino neared her friend at once. "I'd be good if he doesn't use that against us. Didn't think a short-tempered guy like him could acquire such composure when the moment comes." She gave her a meaning look. "Nerves of steel."

"Should I go give him a kiss or something?" Sakura was on the verge of laughing. Ino had obtained a new crush.

"Ah... we'll thank him later. I, personally, am down to give him everything I have to offer. He deserves it." Ino crouched next to her and furrowed at Kakashi. "Is it bad?"

"We'll have to take out a bullet when we get back." Sakura shook her head. "Hope everything goes well."

"We're done here anyway. Shimura's cau- Ino's words were left hanging in the air as both of them looked back.

Matter-of-fact, not only the two of them had acquired the same perplexed expression. The whole team stood still and watched as Sasuke approached them at a slow pace, the sniper on his back. It wouldn't have been disturbing if he wasn't smiling, his ink eyes beaming with joy. Unpleasant shivers ran down Sakura's spine as he approached with predatory gait. Still, he had this indelible proud air around him she had only seen in royalties. It riveted and demanded attention, even though it wasn't always wanted.

"Ah, missed the fun. What a miracle, you survived under Naruto's command. Almost." His tone was heavy with pity but sardonic enough to deliver the message. He glanced at Kakashi just for a second before heading straight for a man in particular. The only hostage that wasn't down on his knees. "There he is."

Sakura's eyes bounced between the two men. So that was Danzo Shimura. He wasn't as young as she expected him to be. The bad feeling that wrung her heart returned, a couple of times stronger. It was the first time she saw him smile like that.

"Sasuke, we should go back to the base." Naruto stepped in front of the hostages and raised his hand. "We're all tired."

"Move out of my way," Sasuke said, politely.

His tone was mild and colorless but Naruto didn't make a single move, staring at him.

"I will shoot you if I have to."

"Let's go back. You don't need to do this."

"You can't stop me." Sasuke took a breath. "I'll just destroy you, like everything else that stands between me and that man."

"Quit avenging people you cared about and come back with us." Naruto stepped to him, trying to contain his own anger, his voice so low that it came out as a murmur.

"This is not only for me," Sasuke scoffed at him. "I am taking revenge for all those who have suffered."

"This is insa-"

"I am the hand of God now." Sasuke cut him off, loud and masterful, the darkness slumbering in his eyes coming to life. "I'll deliver the punishment he deserves."

Naruto's eyes slowly fell down to the ground, yielding. It was a madness beyond his control, he seemed to finally realize it. Sasuke passed by him and started untying Shimura amidst the dead silence of his teammates.

"Oh no..." Sakura turned to Kakashi whose face was getting paler and paler with every minute. He tried to speak out loud but to no avail.

"We need Shimura... alive." He whispered and Sakura looked at him, speechless.

"Shouldn't we," Ino leaned to her friend. "Stop him?"

What use, though? Everyone attending knew that no one could stop Sasuke from what he was doing. Much less, deep in their hearts, everyone agreed Danzo Shimura didn't deserve a drop of mercy.

Once untied, Danzo attacked immediately, crushing his fist into Sasuke's face and he stepped back, spitting blood.

"That's right. Fight me." It was his turn to bash him painfully but he didn't stop with one blow, he delivered three, almost bringing him out of balance. After the second of Danzo, Sasuke struck him with another five. After the painful clobber, Danzo found himself laying on the ground and heavy breathing.

Sasuke stared down at him.

"Get up."

"What do you want, boy?"

"I said get on your feet, wretch."

Danzo did manage to get up, although with difficulty.

"This is personal, isn't it?" He wiped his mouth. "Whom did I kill? A mother, a father? Perhaps a brother?"

Sasuke hit him again, this time strong enough to slam him back down on the concrete.

"Do you know them by names?" Sasuke kicked him. "The people who died because of you?"

Danzo turned around and squinted at him carefully as if remembering something.

"Could it be..." A slow laugh shook his body. "That you are related to Itachi Uchiha? You look a lot like him."

Sasuke stopped, his chest heaving up and down. The fury within him was almost visible. Only the one who could see his eyes could catch a glimpse of the destructive force, of the lethal weapon he had transformed himself in. Though he did not reply, he was ready to deliver another blow.

"Oh, I know him. Your brother... is a dissident. He betrayed his platoon, giving me the coordinates of their position."

"Lies!" Sasuke yelled, twisting Danzo's hand and storming down his foot on it. The loud crack was followed by Danzo's cry of pain, echoing in the silence. "My brother would never do such a thing."

Ino took a moment to look at Sakura who was watching the scene with blurred eyes.

"Itachi Uchiha is a traitor... and a murderer... that's the truth." Danzo barely breathed, sweat moistening his wrinkled forehead. He slowly began to get up again, keeping his eyes on the man in front of him. "He worked for me."

"Lies," Sasuke said, ardently. "Like I'll believe the words of a dirty rag. Death is not a good enough punishment for you."

"What I'm telling you..." Danzo took a step backward, then another, then another. "is the truth, boy. Accept it."

He turned around and used his feet to drag him as far as they could since his right hand was already broken and his eye was swollen from the blows. Sasuke sighed, looking up at the sky for a moment. A wide smile twisted his features.

"Where do you think you're going?" He pulled out his gun and aimed at him, shooting almost right away.

The bullet reached its target, in Danzo's knee. He almost tripped but somehow managed to stay on his feet, or rather, on his foot. The other was bleeding heavily. Determined to run away, he limped ahead, slowly but surely. Sakura, though, was like hit by a lightning. These words, she's heard them before.

Sasuke walked his way, unhurried and generally amused while reloading another magazine into his gun. Once the gun was reloaded, Sasuke aimed again, as he walked, and fired, this time at the other knee. Danzo fell on the ground and for a moment writhed in pain but he quickly came to his senses and started to crawl, using his only undamaged limb.

"Are you not gonna beg?" Sasuke neared him, stepping on his hand and still... smiling. "No? Good."

He kicked him in the face and Danzo tossed on his back, not saying anything. Perhaps the pain was too overwhelming for him to speak. Perhaps he knew speaking wouldn't change the matters at all. Sasuke's wreaking was a natural disaster.

Sasuke tucked his gun back in its place, took Danzo by the collar and stood up, dragging him back intentionally slow, down the street. The sight of Danzo's blood leaving a discernable blood trail nauseated but no one averted eyes from it. No one dared to.

This time he was headed for the nearest tree.

"Sasuke!" Naruto shouted at him. "Stop what you're doing right now! Do you hear me?"

Sasuke ignored his voice completely, lifting up Danzo against the tree only to take out his knife, nail it through the skin of his shoulder and onto the wood.

"Sasuke!" Naruto's demanding voice mingled with Danzo's agonized cries as he got closer to them. "I give you an order. Step away from him!"

"You are just... like him." Danzo yelped, in between the heavy gasps.

"You are wrong," Sasuke spoke to the man he had clutched, twisting his knife slowly. "I'm not like him. He," Pulling out the knife sharply and eyes burning with hatred, he aimed for the heart. "Would've shown mercy."

"Sasuke! Look out, he's got a-" Naruto didn't finish, pulling Sasuke away from the explosion that muffled everyone's ears, adding a continuous ringing.

A few seconds passed before Sakura understood what happened. And then a few years to get over the fact that a man just blew himself to pieces in front of her eyes. With a grenade. The voices of her comrades screaming and shouting didn't reach her completely because her feet dragged her instinctively to where Sasuke and Naruto lied. Or so she thought.

"Idiot!" Naruto yelled, as soon as he heaved up to a sitting position. "He's dead now! Are you happy?"

"Calm down." Shikamaru bossed, intervening in his passionate fit.

"You could've at least listened to Kakashi! For once!"

"Lay your head down, Naruto, you're bleeding."

Ino and Karin went to help, pushing aside the others in order to get to the wounded but Sakura couldn't move, frozen in her place. Frozen in her mind. Her head was light and empty and she didn't know what to do and what to think.

There she was again. Utterly astounded and a tad heartbroken by her own world. There really wasn't hope, was it? And the worst part was... she was the only one that was still left with an impression on that. Everyone else just moved on as if nothing happened.

So that's what he meant by _the war is not going to end soon._ He couldn't be more right about that. Now that she saw the battlefield with her own eyes and now that the violence she previously saw through a screen or heard on the radio took on a tangible appearance, she admitted it to herself. He was right, in the end. That world wasn't a world of dreams. It wasn't her world.

A strange, unpleasant feeling rose inside of her as the thoughts ran through her head. The feeling of someone watching you. While the fuss around Naruto and Sasuke lasted, no one paid attention to anything else. Sakura turned around absently, while still dizzy from the shock of the death she witnessed; almost certain that someone was observing everything that happened. Her eyes ran to and fro, scanning the factory quickly.

Nothing.

But a single movement, behind the shadow of one of the windows at the far end, nailed her eyes. She could've sworn she saw something move but after staring that way for a couple of minutes without seeing anything, she told herself it's probably the shock.

* * *

 ***** _Antihemorrhagic agent_ _(also known as a hemostatic agent) is a substance that promotes hemostasis (stops bleeding)._ _Often used for emergency bleeding control, especially in military medicine._

* * *

 _A/N: Ugh, that was terrific to write._ _Hope it doesn't traumatize anyone._ _I'm fulfilling every fan's dark desire by torturing Danzo. I used the canon fight for some details but I wanted it to be in the spirit of my modern!AU. I think I did ok._ _Thank you for reading and thank you to all the people that joined in recently! Love you all._ _Also, freaking hurts to have Kakashi so weak. Didn't wanna bring him to that condition but Sakura had to interact with him in some way. (Don't blame me for the 'her' thing, lol. I secretly ship KakaRin, too.) As for Naruto, I thought quite a lot whether to have him fight Sasuke in order to stop him but my last decision was to leave him aside like that. Simply because I don't want the focus on him. And because I wanted to show that if a person wants to self-destruct, nothing can stop him. It's just a free will thing. Well, see you next time. Bye._

* * *

 _For real, guys, stop it with the flattery. I don't deserve it. Flattery is dangerous, I don't want my ego magnified. Please. Wouldn't stop me from thanking you all one by one as I did 'till now, though._

 _Now, **zeroandsix,** thank you for the compliment. Glad you like my factory but I didn't really focus on it because I thought it'd be cooler if we had Sakura's POV, where she is outside and can only hear what's going on through the transmitter._

 _ **CherryxIcedxKisses,** thanks for sharing that. I'm afraid I'm gonna get boring again, though, with my story actually fixing back on its non-violent side as it gradually shifts toward the end. Still pondering whether to hop in cutie-patootie Sarada in some way lol. But that's gonna be soo far in the future. At least 15 chapters away._

 _ **Esther-himechan,** hope that chapter answers all your questions and the questions of your fellow readers._

 _ **annekay,** really hope that chapter's violence wasn't too much. I actually tried to subtly grade Sasuke's hatred and restlessness with every chapter and reach its peak in this one. That was the idea. Kakashi, though... you'll see._


	18. As One

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in it.**

* * *

 **XVIII.**

 **\- As One -**

"Quickly. I need to lacerate the skin a bit more," Sakura furrowed over the tray with the instruments, putting her medical gloves. "Karin, can you-"

"Iodopovidone?" Karin glanced up at her, already pouring the liquid on a piece of cloth. "I know a thing or two, rookie. I was here years before you came."

"You're right." Sakura continued with disinfecting the instruments. Was that really the time for her to bicker like that? "Ino, bring some towels."

"Right away."

Field conditions. It was as bad as it could get. That dull-colored room they were currently in was so inconvenient and unsuitable for a surgery that it raised the bar of her nervousness even more. The lighting was insufficient, the instruments didn't give her a great choice, their variety way more limited than she was used to. Even the table Naruto put him on before leaving was quite an ordinary one. The atmosphere was so dark and basic that it felt positively medieval.

She would have originally let the bullet stay as it was in Kakashi's body because it was the usual way to go and often leaving the bullet in the wound was the preferred medical solution. Many shot patients she'd previously had expected the bullet in them to be immediately removed but the truth was, removing it caused more problems in most of the cases, especially if the surgery needed to be done somewhere close to a vital organ.

This time, though, she couldn't afford to let that bullet rest there. The spleen was the one organ that needed to stay clean of any outer, foreign substances due to its tight connection with the blood circulation. A couple of reasons didn't let her leave the matters as they were. The transfer along with the removal of the senescent red blood cells was one of the spleen's primal functions. Having a metal piece ripping the body's blood filter was unthinkable.

If the bullet had ripped up further, of which Sakura was almost sure, the white pulp that produced antibodies was affected too. White blood cells were responsible for tissue healing. Leaving that bleeding internally was even worse. Last but not least, the spleen usually held a reserve of blood, which found its application whenever a hemorrhagic shock occurred. One that Kakashi was going through right now. Just that it was of no use, with the organ cleaved like that.

"You better stay completely still through that, Captain." Karin applied the dark liquid around the wound but Kakashi... didn't reply. "Sakura?"

"What is it?" Sakura just took the scalpel when Karin furrowed.

"I think he passed out." Karin removed his band carefully and lowered his mask so that he could breathe freely.

"I'm here." Ino returned with the towels but she joined Karin in her fazed state.

"Guys, please. We must hurry." Sakura requested assistance, noticing both of her teammates were mesmerized. Probably their first time seeing Kakashi without anything covering his face. She didn't blame them at all, with that ashen nuance of the skin and that tranquil expression, Kakashi had acquired a rather angelic appearance. "Karin."

The latter turned around abruptly and froze, looking at the scalpel Sakura handed her.

"You do it. I'll prepare the suture." Karin quickly surrounded her with an emotionless expression.

Sakura exhaled slowly, trying to calm herself down before getting on with the surgery. Good that she trained herself well enough and her hands almost didn't shake. Bad thing was that with as much blood lost, he had surely lost more than forty percent of his, with the shock happening somewhere after the thirtieth. Her knowledge allowed her to calculate his approximate time of living. Gauzing him helped get him back to the base still conscious. But now, the chances dropped rapidly. It was a matter of minutes but she chose to keep that information only for herself.

"Didn't think we have one." Sakura joked in a low-voice, concentrating. "Alright, I'm lacerating a bit."

Her left hand slightly pressed the skin as her right slid down, creating a small incision.

"Ino," She said but her friend already handed her the grasper.

Having no X-ray vision and pulling out a bullet only with a sixth sense was madness beyond her wildest dreams. But she remembered all those people that counted on her. With every millimeter deeper into the skin, she remembered what Kakashi meant to all those people. He was as good as a father to them. Letting them down was something she'd never want to do. They put their faith in her. _He_ put his faith in her. What an irony, his own conviction brought her there and now he laid in her hands. She had always thought there was no such thing as a coincidence.

Her movements were so slow and careful that from aside it looked like she didn't move at all but it was the perfect pace to go with. The fear that she'd cause more internal bleedings or unnecessary lacerations haunted her.

She didn't dare breathe, distant words of countless invocations echoing in her mind. That life was so needed... that she found herself silently pleading for it to be spared. And amidst her sincere plea, the grasper in her hand reached something hard. Sakura wasn't quick to rejoice but in the second her movement stopped Ino muttered some kind of a praise on her friend's behalf.

It was the bullet, Sakura was certain, but she took her time while pulling it out. It pained her greatly that she could be already running late, though she paid no mind to these morbid thoughts. In the second she pulled out the bullet, Ino pressed the wound so that it doesn't bleed while Sakura examined the metal piece aside. Thankfully, it was whole and no other parts were left in the wound. Sakura hurried to leave the cartridge aside then and took the disinfected medical suture from Karin's hands. Karin had already prepared the thread and Sakura wasted no time, starting to stitch up the wound with multiple supple operations.

"Karin, please tell me you know which blood type he is." Still not finished, Sakura looked up at her, almost begging.

"I do. O-positive." Karin understood her hint right away and went out of the room for a minute.

Sakura cut the thread at last and cleaned the blood off the skin around the stitch.

"Is he still breathing, Ino?" She asked, not daring to look aside.

"He is. Faintly but he is." Ino heaved a sigh. "You are a natural talent, forehead."

The wave of relief came with the one of exhaustion, enveloping her mind like a storm. Trying her hard to ignore the storm in her brain, Sakura kept on with disinfecting the instruments all over again and leaving Ino with cleaning the rest up. Karin showed up soon with a blood bag she took care was attached to Kakashi's wrist right away.

Ino blew her cheeks, placing hands on her hips.

"Hell of a team, we are. Glad to know you two."

Neither of the two women replied, too sunk in thought. A few more absent minutes passed before Ino went to take out the gloves and all of the disposables, leaving Sakura and Karin on their own.

As much as Sakura thought it'd be inconvenient to try and start a conversation with the redhead, the subject emerged immediately when she saw a deep cut on Karin's own palm. It wasn't bad but it had to be treated.

Sakura hurried to pour a bit of the formaldehyde on a small piece of cloth she found left next to the instruments and went to Karin who was going through her kit at the moment.

"Karin," Sakura spoke quietly, asking for her hand.

Karin frowned at her for quite some time but then huffed, giving up. She winced when the cloth touched her sore skin but quickly relaxed afterward, focusing on the rosette's measured movements.

"Do you have some bandage in there?" Sakura asked, looking at her comrade's backpack.

"Uh, yeah." Karin obliged, handing her what she needed.

The silence that followed was brief because Karin broke it abruptly.

"Don't worry. Out of all women, " Karin raised her intonation. "He won't have me."

Sakura looked up at her, pausing for a second.

"Why do you think that?"

"Because he needs a family."

Karin's voice was stern but faltered at the end, her carmine gaze falling down. Sakura tilted her head, searching for her eyes. She found them, giving an inquiring look.

"I-I can't have children."

Sakura almost gasped, her perplexed expression soon changing into one of compassion. Before she could say something, Ino returned, beaming with joy.

"Girls, let's go tell everyone Kakashi's gonna be fine!"

Sakura secured the bandage on Karin's palm and exhaled slowly.

"You know what, Ino, you go tell them yourself."

"Uh, no. You two get your asses moving." Ino pushed both women from the back and Sakura exchanged glanced with Karin.

"Well, if she insists. We have to move Kakashi to his bed anyway. See if we can find any volunteers." She shrugged and took Karin's hand, to her great surprise. "Let's go."

* * *

Everyone stood up as they entered the meeting room a few doors next to the improvised surgery room. Sakura took a moment to examine those faces, one by one. Such fear and pain she had never seen in her life. They were on the brink of breaking down. All of them. Her eyes did search for a certain pair, though. He was in the far back and was the only one that didn't care to look her way.

Naruto stepped up in front of everyone, nearing Sakura. It was somewhat heroic of him to do that. As if by standing upfront he was going to take the blow first. Take the most painful weight upon himself.

"He is saved," Sakura announced with a bitter smile that only widened when Naruto hugged her. Then he pulled Karin and Ino, too.

Although almost out of strength, Sakura managed to chuckle faintly and spread her hand to Tenten who stood closest to her, hands folded and tears in her otherwise sullen eyes. She moved reluctantly and buried her head in the group, embracing everyone. Sakura waited out every single one of the attendants to join in that ridiculously sentimental combined hug while her eyes filled with tears. The gratitude towards her touched her heart deeply and she was certain, that hug was something she'd never forget until the rest of her life. It would've been just perfect, though... if Sasuke hadn't left right after he heard the news.

* * *

Sakura pushed the door with her elbow, careful not to drop the small tray in her hands. It took her a minute to make the decision of bringing Sasuke some of the team's dinner and around twenty to gather the courage. Ten more she stood in front of the soldier's hut, with the full awareness that he was there. He didn't show for lunch nor for dinner, in fact. No one talked with or about him the whole day and Sakura agreed that words wouldn't help in the least but most of her comrades thought he's a lost cause and didn't bother persuading him to anything, especially after he went berserk like that a few hours ago.

Naruto was cross and said he doesn't want to go talk with him since he doesn't listen to anyone but himself while most thought he's completely lost his mind and needs to go to a psychiatry. So Sakura figured Sasuke wasn't going to get any attention in the next days, which, on one side wasn't that bad for his almost theatrical manifestations but knowing him, Sakura saw through the irascible behavior and pronounced callousity. They only served her as signs of how far he had gone and how much farther he was ready to go.

Still... surely she was insane herself, for believing there was hope for everyone.

Closing the door with a quiet click, she walked slowly to the far end where she found Sasuke sitting on his bed in deep thought. Cautious, she placed the tray on the ground and sat on the bed, in front of him. She knew that no one was going to blame her for sitting at such a distance. Itachi's knife was in his hands, examined most thoroughly. Moving slow and talking quietly was the way to go. Almost like taming a wild beast.

"You must eat something, you haven't eaten all day."

"I'm not hungry."

He put the knife away, shooting a glare at her. She was convinced her presence was unwanted but if he thought she'd leave him with his thoughts after what happened in the morning, he was dead wrong. Glimpsing at his pale skin and tired eyes, she realized he's never looked as bad. Not even in the hospital when she saw him for the first time.

"I need to know the truth." He looked at the knife as if it was going to give him answers. "Itachi never said anything."

Sakura caught him caressing his forehead with an absent gesture. Her suspicions were confirmed, he did have a headache, after all. She pulled out the small prescription bottle from her pocket and took one pill from there. Mechanically handing him the glass of water, she went closer and opened his palm, putting the pill there. Sasuke didn't oppose, though the look in his eyes suggested he was far from happy with her forceful medical treatments.

Sakura raised her eyes to him not until she realized he awaited some kind of an explanation.

"Aspirin." She looked down again. "Thought you might want it. You're not supposed to take it without eating anything but... your choice."

He did take the pill, though no verbal or non-verbal gratitude followed. Not that she expected anything but one always expected a kind word or two after helping. Perhaps verbalizing no insults aimed at her until now was his way of showing benevolence.

That dreadful chasm of silence set itself between them once more and it was becoming rather awkward. Everyone acquainted with Sasuke knew that relying on him to lead a conversation was like waiting for rainfall in a desert.

"I think he said all that to hurt you. Because... he couldn't hurt you physically." Sakura tentatively rested her hand on his but instead of recoiling he pulled it until she found herself inches away, sitting in his lap. It was downright funny how she tensed every time he touched her because her body prepared to meet brute force and she was glad it did - the line between pain and pleasure with that one was really thin. He kind of mixed both. And he mixed them so well.

Slightly tilting his head, he took a second to observe her, this time the saturated black of his irises giving out a tinge of curiosity. There was a question in his eyes and she was almost certain why. It was either the quick red that flushed her face or the fact that her rosy locks now ended on the line of her chin. She took care they weren't longer than that herself, right after she found herself alone with her thoughts. Dodging bullets and operating in field conditions, she considered it highly inappropriate to demonstrate femininity (especially with that awful color of hers). If she was to walk side by side with those soldiers, she had to give up on all forms of drivel. No regrets clouded her mind until she saw the... disappointed look in his eyes?

Her own irises slowly widened in surprise. Without receiving any permission, his lips brushed against hers. Her skin prickled at the touch, never as slow. Could it be that the fatigue melted some of his aggression away? Or he teased her? Rather mock her, as she began to think about it. He enjoyed having her holding her breath like that, in expectation of something to happen. Their tongues barely entwined when she felt that sour, pleasantly acrid taste of the aspirin in his mouth.

Sasuke slowly pulled her closer, attempting to take off her t-shirt but as his warm hand slipped up her back and reached the clutch of her bra, she fought the strong impulse to adhere her body to his and give him what he sought at the very moment. She managed to gather what was left of her willpower and reluctantly parted her lips from his, her hands gently pressing both of them apart.

"Sasuke, I... I can't." Sakura said abruptly, feeling the heat on her face intensifying with every second under his dark and steady gaze.

"You can't."

A spasm shrunk her heart at his expression. The shadow that crossed his face was momentary but pierced through her and the pain was unbearable. She knew exactly what he thought about, although he didn't say it. Her words were too ambiguous.

"I want you." Sakura hurried to clear up, her voice lowered with every word. "I just can't... right now. I mean..." She looked down, searching for the right words. It was the last thing she imagined she'd talk about with him. Women's body problems.

"I understand."

Sakura looked up, wearing her most apologetic expression.

"I'm sorry. I-I should've warned-"

"It's fine." He cut her off, exasperated. "Never mind."

Sakura opened her mouth but was at a loss for words. It was always so hard to find words whenever he was near. Why not act like he does, then? It was significantly easier anyway. She furrowed for a few seconds before heaving up to kiss his forehead tenderly, her fingertips resting on his shoulders. When she found his eyes again the ice was broken and slowly starting to melt down, replaced by what seemed to be a fragment of the so repellent softness he avoided at all times.

"I chose you," Sakura whispered, a warm smile blossoming on her lips. "Long ago."

Didn't feel nice to hand him her heart on a platter but she couldn't afford him thinking she doesn't want him. For all she knew, he'd fall back in that suicidal depression he was apparently susceptible to. Whatever happened from now on, at least she took off that load off her heart.

"Foolish."

It was the fact that he ignored her gaze that gave her hope.

"I just thought I'd let you know."

"I'm not what you imagine I am. You're only wasting your time." He fumed, shifting away.

Sasuke carelessly detached from her, laying back on the pillow.

"It's not fair, you know." Sakura slowly neared with almost a whisper, laying her head down next to him. "You use my body."

Furrowing, he backed away, feeling her peering eyes digging a hole in him and anticipating a reply of some kind.

"Yeah, so what?"

Sakura's mouth opened again but she didn't know what to say, too astonished to reply. He didn't care at all. His words stung and embittered her because he knew she wouldn't fight back, whatever he said. His very voice was soaked with confidence that always bordered on arrogance.

"Why?" She breathed out as if it was painful for her to speak.

He hated that question, for sure. It got him unprepared all over again and he turned to the other side, leaving her with tears streaming down her face. Whatever she did, it wasn't enough. She turned out the weaker, in the end. If he wouldn't let anyone in then why did he outraged on people? And why, for heaven's sake, did she still want to bestow upon him everything she had? Why did she want to be a part of his world of destruction, where everything was broken, deformed and withered?

It was the emotion in her, most likely. The emotion she never got rid of. It destroyed her life, yet she still clung to it. To that feeling. The thrill of the senses that filled her up and... made her happy. There was no escape from it for it was her essence. But she still had to fight for her dignity. She was better than weeping, she was better than her previous selves, the ones that ruined every attempt of hers to lead a life of meaning and a life of growth. That's exactly why he was tempted to step on her. If she still hasn't learned to control her emotion, she was weak.

"Look at me in the eyes and answer me." She said, in a stern voice.

The change in her tone intrigued him enough to face her. He studied her features for a while before speaking.

"You are at peace with yourself."

Sakura closed her eyes for a second, then exhaled slowly.

Envy. That's what it was all about. He envied her and tried to rob her of everything she had built within herself. He thought he'd desecrate her temple with his destructive touch and she fell in love with it instead. Now that was funny.

A sigh escaped her dry lips as she opened her eyes again, finding him still keeping a sharp eye on her.

"I understand now." She squinted. "Is Karin at peace with herself, too?"

He grimaced at her as if the name caused him nausea.

"I don't even like her."

"Are you sure?" Sakura asked, calmly. "She's such a nice person."

"You're starting to get annoying." Sasuke rested back on the pillow, looking up.

"Your criteria are unreliable since you're annoyed by everything." Sakura held back a smile as he turned to look at her yet again.

There was some heavy bitterness in his gaze, mustering with every silent second.

"If you're such a saint then you can tell me why your God hates me so much." Sasuke snapped at her, the harsh tone making her tremble.

"I'm not a saint. I'm jealous." Sakura blushed, unsure where she got all that courage to speak her mind today. The safety of being close and having the inviolability that he wouldn't lay claims on her in her current state gave her the privilege of speaking to him like a normal person. She had to remember the date. A conversation that lasted more than two minutes with Sasuke Uchiha. A veritable holiday.

He puffed, looking up again. Sakura just couldn't keep her eyes off him, slightly biting her lower lip. He didn't have to even try. With the tear-paths still unwiped from her face, she didn't dare blink, couldn't afford to. If she did, she was going to miss out a second of him. There was something very charming on the surface of his demeanor, namely being dreadfully discontented with everything that happened to him. Although he tried his best to win everyone's hatred, Sakura still thought he did it to punish himself.

Too drained to think about it further, she focused on something more pleasant. Putting aside how much pain he caused her, she considered him most handsome. The dark circles around his eyes were discernable upon the unhealthy white of his skin. And he really had to wear black all the time, as his noble features didn't fascinate her enough.

She shifted closer, hugging his arm with the slowest movement.

"You know," She spoke quietly. "They say he punishes those whom he loves the most."

"No, that definitely looks like a grudge against me." Sasuke took a sharp breath. "That or I'm paying for the sins of someone else."

"Not likely."

For the first time, the silence between them didn't feel uncomfortable, even though it continued for more than a minute. Sakura didn't bother him with questions, convinced that if he wanted to talk he would do it. And if he didn't want to talk, they'd spend those minutes in silence which wasn't bad at all. She'd rather have the minutes in silence if that meant he'd let her near.

"I've heard stories..." Sasuke didn't finish, sinking in thought.

"Stories?" Sakura's curiosity was sparkled.

Her voice might've come out more excited than she wanted it to because he turned to look at her. Their foreheads almost touched and Sakura backed away a tad, chuckling.

"Sorry."

"No one believes in such things anyway." He sighed, tearing his eyes from her.

"What things?"

"My kin..." The characteristic frown adorned his features again. "It's been said that it is a carrier of a curse."

"You think you're cursed?" Sakura pondered.

"Yes."

"I believe you if it would make you feel better."

"Well, it doesn't." Sasuke retorted, deciding to wrench from her but she insisted on the touch, interlocking their hands in order to keep him from setting them apart.

He was forced to back away, heaving up to a sitting position.

"Stop it." Sakura pleaded quietly. Why did he always act like she was leprous whenever she offered tenderness? "I am not leaving you."

"I don't want you here." The scanning, disgusted look he gave her hurt more than anything he said. "I haven't asked for any help."

Sakura swallowed down, trying to fight her own anger. The self-loathing emerged in her at the second she felt her eyes watering. Reaching the same cul-de-sac every time.

"I may be repulsive but I know when someone pretends to be alright." She fumed, her pained expression didn't seem to move anything in him.

Without his consent, she proceeded to hug him, ignoring everything. If not else, she needed to do that. Badly. To feel if he was still warm and to make sure there was still an unfailing heartbeat in his chest. That's all she cared about at the moment. She wasn't even mad at him. She didn't have the strength to be.

The silence prolonged as she fought with her tears and he, on the other side, refused to return the gesture for quite some time. Both of those things were tightly connected, though, and it wasn't that much of a surprise that in the moment he finally decided to reconcile, hugging her back, she felt the warmth stream down her cheeks.

She closed eyes, releasing her breath. He deserved it, anyway, for running away earlier.

"I'm tired." He spoke in her ear in a half-tone, half-whisper as he guided both of them slowly back on the pillow.

His voice was so absent that Sakura was certain that in those two words he gathered all of his battles, both physical and mental.

"I know." Sakura ensconced in the crook of his neck and closed her eyes, still hugging him with her other hand. "I know."

The warmth was so wonderful and their exhaustion from this day so grand that they needed not more than a few minutes to fall asleep, unable to fight each other anymore.

* * *

"Karin said she wasn't feeling that well and went back to her tent."

"Right. Was wondering where she went off to." Ino thanked Lee for answering and walked in, followed by her teammates.

"Damn, you've got some nerves, Kiba." Tenten scoffed. "I was sweating like hell while you did your thing with the filaments back there."

"I've seen him defuse bombs for years and it gets me every time." Shikamaru murmured. "Cool to have you on the team. We'd kinda be, uh..." He scratched his neck inconveniently. "Long dead without you."

"You guys need to calm down, alright? No big deal." Kiba waved with a hand before prostrating on his bed.

"No big deal!" Ino's jaw dropped, turning to Sai. "Did you hear what he said?!"

Sai held his dull gaze on Kiba for a moment before turning to Ino.

"Do you like him more than me now?" He spoke evenly, with the calmest intonation but Ino just burst into laughter.

"Of course not, silly." Ino grabbed his hand, irritated. Sai's jealously was terrific to watch. He just pronounced it the exact same way he asked for someone to pass him the salt.

"Guys, keep it down." Naruto hissed and everyone turned to him.

"Wha?" Temari raised a brow. "Oh, I saw those two just now."

Naruto walked the aisle between the beds at a fast pace, nailing at the end. He turned to look at his team with beaming eyes and the widest smile.

 _"Are they..."_ Ino mouthed at Naruto and gave her a thumbs up.

He looked at Sasuke and Sakura for a while, the content smile never leaving his face. With a scoff, he pulled the blanket over them, careful not to wake them up, and went back to his team.

"You guys wanna play cards?" Shikamaru smirked, taking out a pack from the sack next to his bed.

"You mean poker?" Temari snapped, giving him a meaning look. "So that you can rob us all?"

"It's not robbing if you _choose_ to play against me." Shikamaru shuffled the cards in his hands. "You can always refuse."

"Like hell," She puffed, glancing at Tenten. "Look at his smug face. He's so sure of his victory."

"Temari, whatever you play with him, you can't win." Tenten teased. "He doesn't play, he calculates."

"Just watch." Temari pulled up her sleeves and sat on the bed against Shikamaru who used the time of absence from the conversation to light up a cigarette and take a drag.

Everyone knew Shikamaru was a smoker of standing and grew used to his rather unpleasant for the non-smokers around him bad habit but Temari just couldn't stand him. Whenever he lit up a cigarette in her presence, she acquired the look of a ruthless valkyrie, ready to deliver justice in the stead of all her conformists of teammates that preferred to not speak their mind about it even if the smoke really bothered them sometimes. Naturally, her current thunderous expression was enough for him to put down the cigar and douse it.

"Geez," Ino held back a laugh, still glancing back at the sleeping duo at the far end. "I'm almost sure she drugged him with something strong. After this morning, I didn't dare get ten feet near him. So did everyone else."

"Nah..." Naruto sighed. "She does that with him. No drugs needed."

* * *

 _A/N: Mmmhm... I realized I haven't shown a drop of romance so far so I decided it was about time I start adding some. Ok, also, I don't want Karin a bitch. I love everyone, I admit it. (Except Danzo lol) Also, remember what I said about this being 100k words. Not really. I'll totally get over 100k. What else... oh, yes. Even though Kishimoto never mentioned it, I bet Sasuke loved Sakura's hair. I can't explain myself long-haired post-war Sakura with anything else. See you next time!_

* * *

 _Even though it may look like I've made your wish come true,_ _ **zeroandsix,**_ _I have actually planned in advance a major SasuSaku in this chapter haha. Hope you like it._

 _Weeeell,_ _ **CherryxIcedxKisses,**_ _you must know there is only one person who can cope with him and even she doesn't really 'deal' with him. She's like... mollifying him lol_

 _Awie,_ _ **Ana**_ _, thanks for telling your opinion, in the end. You could've stayed silent 'till the end of the story but you didn't. For which I'm really grateful! *hug* I'm glad you like dark!Sasuke and funny!Kakashi, although I still_ _strongly_ _dislike jealous!Sasuke. It's so not him, ugh. As for the English, keep it up as you can. No one's obliged to know languages, duh._

 _That's the first time in my life I hear that,_ ** _Guest 22_** , _Such a nice compliment, made me really happy. Consider yourself hugged. I'm not one to give up on something started, you know. I have this almost pathological restlessness when I don't finish things. Stay calm, I'm gonna finish this._

 _Thanks for the review,_ _ **HollyNinetales!**_ _So happy that you like it, I'm trying me best haha Never had that many readers before. Makes me kinda nervous._

 _Thanks for sharing,_ _ **persequemini de lumin**_ _ **e.** I'm honored to have someone like you as a reader. Your reading is very thorough. Hope you like it ahead._

 _Thanks to the other guest reviews, too! Sending back love your way. So many kind people around me. 3_


	19. Asunder

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in it.**

* * *

 **XIX.**

 **\- Asunder -**

Rummaging noise woke her up abruptly, eyes snapping open, but she forced herself to remain still. Laying aside, with her body facing a wall, she quickly came to the realization that she laid in her own tent and it was in the midst of the night, during the small hours. Sometime in the late afternoon, she heard familiar voices but her mind was too numb to react and paid them no mind., drifting away once again. Someone must've carried her back to her tent after that. Her mind was still dazzled from emerging on top of her deep slumber but she remembered falling asleep elsewhere, on Sasuke's bed.

Strange, as a light sleeper she was supposed to feel the movement.

Cold shivers ran down her spine, her attention now diverted to the muffled voices behind her while they started discussing something. Her blankets were almost covering her whole head and she couldn't quite hear what they were saying. The reactions of her body came before she got to the reason for them. The shock tensed and unnerved her gradually when she finally noticed - these voices were new and she heard them for the first time. The panic gave her out, her breathing couldn't remain as even as she wanted it to be. Footsteps came closer to where she lied but her body refused to move.

"If you make a sound, I'll blow your friend up. The pretty one next door." A low, maniacal sneer echoed somewhere close to her left ear. "And if you try something funny I'll put a grenade in your mouth and we're _all_ gonna blow up." His voice strained as if barely holding a laughter. "Ain't that gonna be a blast?"

"Hostage, psycho." The other voice reminded, masterfully. "Not bits of a corpse."

"Don't say it like that. Ugh."

Sakura weighed the possibility of fighting the intruders and reached the conclusion she could dominate, despite being outnumbered. Although somewhat twisted, the first voice sounded youthful - the man was not older than herself while the other seemed a tad phlegmatic and, curious, uninterested in hurting her. But that same conclusion quickly faded when the door to her tent opened yet again and she heard a third, low voice. Three were too many.

"Get her out. Hurry."

"'kay then." The youthful one clicked with his tongue and grabbed Sakura by her arm. "Time to go."

In a split second, Sakura thought of memorizing the faces of the men but she changed her mind, looking down as they straightened her up on her feet in nothing more than her light nighty. The thick darkness of the cloudy night wouldn't allow her to see much of their faces so she gave up on it. Apart from that, if she saw them her life would matter less. The coldness enveloped her body in an unpleasant embrace once when she left her blankets but her lips were tightly pursed, not giving a sound.

Rough hands wrapped a cloth around her eyes and tightened it carelessly. The silence around her was maddening, leaving her with countless questions. Who were those people and... how did they manage to sneak into the base unnoticed? Did they hurt Ino? Did anyone see them intrude? Why her? Was it still a good idea to put up a fight?

"Now," The youngest of the group spoke excitedly, struggling to keep his voice in a whisper. "Hold that, cherry."

Sakura's heart was already racing but when her hand was raised by another she broke out into a cold sweat. Sinewy, cold hands put something in her right hand. It was heavy and round, metallic to the touch. The lump in her throat grew bigger with every second passing but the situation demanded her concentrated willpower and all of the courage she had. A disturbing click came out of the round object in her hand and Sakura couldn't help but flinch, her nerves too tensed not to. What… was that?

"Don't get me wrong. I really like you. But," The man leaned in, snickering. "I must be sure you're gonna play by our rules."

Sakura didn't dare speak but the pause seemed too long. Did she have to say something?

Another wave of shivers crawled its way down her numbing body when the man surrounded her, the timid whiff of air allowing her to discern the movement. Warm breath tingled the skin of her neck and her breathing shallowed quickly. The fear rising within was too overwhelming for her to react in any way; she stood, frozen in her place and didn't make a single sound.

Now that he was so close, Sakura caught the bitter smell of smoke his clothes gave out. The man's hands took hers from behind, the motion so gentle that spread immediate nausea in her. There was some kind of a pretext in it, though, and Sakura forced herself to remain focused on the important details.

"Be careful with that, sweetie. It's a work of art." He spoke in her ear. "I already pulled the safety pin."

In the second Sakura realized she held a grenade she attempted to wrest out of the man's embrace and throw it away but his grip was stronger than she had expected.

"Shhh," He held her in place, hands pressing hers on the grenade. "Don't… move."

Sakura stopped, more confused than before. Why hasn't it blown up already?

"As long as you hold the lever in place, it won't blow up." The man hinted, somewhat proud of his own craftiness. "Good luck."

"What the hell are you still doing in here? Get her out." The masterful voice returned and someone pushed her ahead, through the door.

The wind chilled her to her bones, every blow grazing her skin like icy razors. She shrunk, enveloping herself with hands, although… it didn't matter if she did. Her body was growing colder by the minute. Her feet dragged her ahead but she couldn't orientate for the direction the men are leading her to. In the dead of night, Sakura slowly lost hope that someone might've noticed the intrusion of this group. No sound came from her surroundings. Where were all the soldiers from the night patrol? The most realistic possibility was the worst one. She knew these men wouldn't hesitate to kill anyone in their way.

What concerned her most now was whether the base was in danger or not. And if it was? What could she do, with her eyes covered and mouth shut? Those heavy footsteps behind her. Three, maybe four people. The serious one was way older than her, taller too. They walked close to her… What if she blew all of them up? Half of the pressure she applied to the grenade wasn't even needed but her fingers squeezed it tight, afraid that a mistake would be fatal. What if she saved everyone that way? The explosion could take out the whole group, including her. And create a loud enough noise to get the whole base on feet.

Grand fear besieged her at the thought. Killing herself wasn't as easy as she imagined it'd be. Killing others, too, however bad they were. She promised herself to not make compromises, no matter the size of the issue, didn't she? Then considering murder as an option was out of the question.

 _What the hell?_

Sakura's hectic mind startled, the raving thoughts inside of it deafening with an echo for one moment of complete, terrifying silence.

 _Are you seriously gonna play the saint? Because these people won't._

The northern wind was blowing at their side and she could barely take a breath. Painful sensations benumbed her limbs, teeth starting to chatter. Sakura licked her chapped lips but it only caused her the next uncontrollable shudder. If she walked a few more minutes in that weather, losing a sense of touch would be a matter of time.

 _They don't give a damn about you. You'd either starve to death…_

Perhaps… it wouldn't be that bad to die now. At least she'd alert the whole base. And make a good clear-out. Sakura took a sharp breath, shaking off those obsessive thoughts. Shame on her, she was a doctor. She chose to preserve life, not extinguish it in cruel ways and through cruel plans. What if those people had relatives, families? That they had their way, choosing violence, didn't mean she was obliged to retort with the same.

 _…or die frostbitten, like some kind of a wild animal._

Sakura wasn't ready to die. At least not yet. It wasn't entirely fear that stopped her, though it figured in her decision too. A promise was a promise. She made a promise to herself and took an oath, as a physician. _It may also be within my power to take a life,_ she remembered the words. _This_ _awesome responsibility_ _must be faced with great humbleness and awareness of my own frailty. Above all, I must not play at God._

There was something else, too. A dream that she wanted to realize, a dream that despite all the odds she'd find happiness. She wouldn't die because dying means giving up. And she wasn't done fighting yet.

"The girl's shaking." The third voice snapped, breaking the silence. "If you don't wanna have him angry, you better do something about it."

Sakura couldn't quite tell anything about that man except that he seemed quite short-tempered. And the restlessness in him was tangible... he didn't want to appear disloyal. Though, his remark tensed her nerves all the more. How long did he stare at her in the dark before discerning that she was, in fact, shaking?

"I can warm her up if she's cold." The young man grabbed her by the arm.

 _You are the one who wanted a colorful life. Is that colorful enough for you?_

"Don't touch me." Sakura wrested her elbow from him, backing away, but was quickly silenced by a harsh slap that brought her down, on the concrete.

Her first thought was to not let that grenade slip off. The second was tightly connected with the sharp pain that came from multiple places at once - her face, her hands, and knees. Falling on the hard ground, she had grazed her bare skin.

"Deidara." The third man intervened again, exasperated.

"What?"

Sakura attempted to get on her feet but found that to be a rather hard task.

"Help her up and move. If you hold us up one more time, I'll report you to him."

There was a pause in which Sakura succeeded in getting back on her feet. As if she'd wait for someone of the attending to help her do that.

"Are we calling each other by names in front if hostages now, _Sasori_?"

"We're wasting time." Sasori hissed at him.

Footsteps neared her and she tensed once more, expecting another blow but instead warmth touched her skin. Most surprising, she obtained someone's overcoat and the sensation allowed her to release her breath, muscles slightly relaxing under the soft matter. She hooded her head right after the other presence walked away, trying to hide from the shrill cry of the wind. As much as she wanted to thank whoever gave her the coat, she reminded herself to remain silent. She would get her answers and the needed information, sooner or later. Staying alive was now of greatest importance.

"We've got a long way to go, start walking." Sasori bossed, seemingly fed up with everyone.

That was the last human speech she heard in the next hours and from that moment she could only hope.

* * *

With the dawn just breaking, Sasuke snuck away from the hut while everyone was still asleep and went straight to the tent of his interest. He knocked on the door, convinced that his insistent hitting would've woken up anyone, even if it was a deep sleeper. His captain wasn't one, usually, but with that injury he received yesterday, Sasuke assumed he'd need rest and waking him up that early was somewhat cruel of its own. Not that he cared that much. He never cared for the guy, actually. It was his fault for getting shot. Nevertheless, he did wait a good ten minutes in the cold before the door opened.

Masked but still in the clothes with which he slept, Kakashi looked overall tired. The wonder was all over his face once he refocused his vision on the visitor. He shifted, letting Sasuke close the door behind and headed back to his bed, leaning on objects in the process.

It was a quiet morning, the harsh wind had abated not long ago but it was the typical December morrow in these lands, with the temperature of air far below zero. The faint sunbeams that peeked through the thick mass of clouds for the first time in days cast a tender light on the front half of the room, gilding everything it touched, including the bed where Kakashi sat on with the slowest motion. The half in which Sasuke stood was still shadowed but he chose to remain there, by the door; hands in the back.

"You're fully dressed." Kakashi began the conversation with a sigh as if predicting it was going to be a tough one. He scanned Sasuke from head to toe. "At six in the morning."

"Yes, I am."

"You have something to tell me?"

With the shadows falling onto his features in a rather specific way, Sasuke looked particularly grim, though there was a flare of determination in his dark gaze. He took a breath before speaking out.

"I came here to request permission."

"For?"

"A reconnaissance. Of my own."

Kakashi gave him a meaning look.

"Sasuke, I know you want to know the truth about your brother but I can't let you go alone on an operation of that kind."

"Is that a refusal?"

Kakashi closed his eyes for a moment, massaging his forehead.

"I don't like your tone, Sasuke."

"Is that," Sasuke repeated, ignoring Kakashi's remark. "a refusal?"

"Yes, I'm afraid."

"Good."

Sasuke turned around, reaching for the door when Kakashi called his name, stopping him from getting out just yet.

"Don't do it. You know what happens when you disobey a direct order from your commandant, don't you?"

"There's only one way for me to know." Sasuke looked back at him. "You cannot stop me."

"If you had made your decision already, why bother to come and wake me up?"

Sasuke looked down at the door's handle, remaining silent in one long moment.

Why did he come, really? It didn't matter what his captain would say, not in the least. An order wasn't obstructing his decision. He made it many hours ago and was prepared to leave. Kakashi was as good as a stranger to him, he owed him nothing. Yet… there was this pathetic voice inside of him that urged him this way when he woke up in the morning. He had no reason for it. Perhaps deep inside he wished someone to give him the needed recognition. If he doesn't return, that is.

"You will come back," Kakashi spoke again as if hearing his thoughts. "Even if it means facing consequences."

Sasuke smirked, although Kakashi couldn't see him.

"We'll see about that."

* * *

"Kakashi!" Naruto yelled, noticing him getting near, with the help of Karin, to the group of soldiers now gathered outside the tents.

They hadn't even eaten breakfast when Naruto raised an alarm. Sasuke missing was his main concern until he wasn't informed Sakura is missing too. The fuss reached Kakashi's ears soon enough and he decided to see what's going on.

The platoon was leading a lively discussion when he walked toward them, hands in his pockets.

"Kakashi, Sasuke and Sakura are gone," Naruto reported abruptly, furrowing at Kakashi's indifference at the news that roused shock in everyone else. "We searched everywhere in the base and there's no trace of them."

"Weird thing is," Ino spoke out, heavy concern wrinkling her face. "All of Sakura's stuff are in her tent. Even her clothes. Why would she go anywhere without even bothering to get dressed?"

"Sasuke has clearly taken some things. Food and supplies are missing. As well as his sniper rifle." Shikamaru pouted. "I searched the armory."

"Did he?" Kakashi asked, evenly.

"You know anything about this, Kakashi?" Naruto stepped to him.

"Sasuke told me he's leaving a few hours ago. I don't know anything about Sakura's departure."

"Why didn't you stop him?!"

"Well, he's not really one that you can _stop._ " Karin fixed her glasses absently.

"Naruto," Kiba called, running to them. "We can't go anywhere. The vehicles' tires are all flat. I don't think Sasuke would do such a thing."

"Flat?" Temari puffed. "There was an intrusion. Surely, they must've taken her. She wouldn't leave at night, without clothes, in other circumstances."

"Dammit," Naruto said through clenched teeth. "How long until the vehicles will be ready to move again?"

"Don't know. Should be ready within an hour or so."

"An hour? A whole hour?" Naruto growled. "I want them fixed in the next fifteen minutes. Sakura might be in grave danger."

Kiba left quickly and the nervous murmur continued.

"Where is the night patrol?" Kakashi asked. "They must've seen something."

"With the medics," Lee replied first. "One of them is stabbed from the back. The others have fallen unconscious after a hit in the head."

"Neither remembers faces but the one that's stabbed says the intruders weren't more than three," Tenten added. "Three men."

"Not helpful." Kakashi shook his head. "They must've known the medics are most vulnerable and accessible since their tents are separate. I'm still not sure how three men are able to breach through a heavily guarded base and take a hostage without anyone noticing. They sound very well prepared, both in mind and body. Taking out our night patrol as if they're nothing."

Soldiers from other platoons were coming and going, demanding more information on the intrusion. Kakashi was sure it was only a matter of time before they double or even triple the patrol and send squads to trace the abductors. Though, all that technology and it hasn't helped track anyone entering the base without permission. Meaning, those people were either professionals or crazy, in order to sneak in and then out without a problem.

"If I only knew…" Naruto clenched his fist, anger rising his chest up and down. "They'll pay for that, whoever they are."

"I hope it's not too late when we find her." Ino murmured, voice trembling.

"Don't say that." Kakashi calmed her down. "I don't want to hear any of you say things like that. We'll find her and she'll be fine. Now, get ready for a rescue mission."

The platoon dispersed but Naruto and Shikamaru remained in their places.

"Those gangs and groups that ravage around, you know they never leave hostages alive. How do I keep the everyone's hopes when we all know there's a possibility that she might…" Naruto didn't finish, not daring to watch Kakashi in the eyes.

"I don't consider anyone dead until I see him dead with my own eyes," Kakashi explained, matter-of-factly. "I'm sure Sakura is alive. She may not look like it but she's strong."

"Kakashi, there's something else." Shikamaru stepped to him, pulling something from the pocket of his trousers. "I found this in the trash can, outside the armory. It dragged my attention because those cans are emptied every night. That was the only thing in there. Which means it's been thrown away this morning."

Shikamaru handed a small object and Kakashi took it in his palm.

"I believe it's morphine. I would've thought it a problem if it was half empty. Or completely empty. But…"

"Morphine?" Naruto raised a brow. "Soldiers aren't supposed to have access to drugs, are they?"

"No." Shikamaru shrugged. "I don't even know how he got his hands on that one."

"Interesting." Kakashi commented, narrowing eye at the prescription bottle in his hands. "Why would he throw out an unopened bottle… now?"

* * *

 _A/N: Thanks for reading, as always. Everyone is writing about fireplaces and cuddling and here I am - psychos, grenades and various types of harassment. Happy holidays, hehe! Sorry for the delay, had a bad week, then had another bad week, then I had no Internet. I'm kinda going down the 'dark' lane for the next chapters. (Getting really frustrated with this. Should've written a one-shot and be done with it lol) Eh… we'll reach the end someday. If I don't manage to update again 'till the end of this year, have yourself a tight hug from me. I'll come back as soon as I can. There are lots of questions I need to answer after that chapter, I know. Do you guys remember in whose pocket you last saw that bottle?_

* * *

 _ **X,**_ _thank you for the critique! I hate my first 3 chapters too, I was rereading them the other day and I thought I really hate them. The dialogue is really too much and Ino's clattering is all the reader can hear in his head. It's really annoying. I know I should rewrite those but I go to university and don't have the time tbh. Go ahead and skip through them.  
As for the cyanide, yes, you're right. 1. Cyanide kills fast and 2. Death by cyanide isn't painful, just the opposite Those are things I came to realize a bit late! I thought it's still kinda accurate, though, and I didn't change anything because if the person is affected by low levels of cyanide it won't be enough to kill the person immediately. Instead, the cells would die out slowly. I thought the low levels would need a bit more time to kill the person. As for the pain, I read a lot of cases and it's different with every case. A headache, dizziness, weakness, chest pain, vomiting/coughing, thoughts about suicide, I haven't lied about those, they're real symptoms. But then again, tell me if that kind of a prolonged thing is even possible, I thought it's possible. (You know what, if it isn't we'll just assume that poisoning is some new kind that only exists in that futuristic/modern universe of mine lol) As for Sakura's statement, in the beginning, I meant to write it as if she's lying to him only to scare him and make him change his mind. Fixed that one! Thanks for telling me what's wrong, appreciate it!_

 _ **Ana,**_ _sweetheart, thanks for dropping by once again. Appreciate it! To answer your question, no, I don't study medicine, I just love details and making deep research. Glad I wasn't going tmi on people, after all. I was afraid I will. Apart from that, you seem to be the only one feeling the way I did when I wrote that scene. I thought I didn't emphasize enough how important it is until I saw your reaction. Sasuke letting her touch and hug him is something big._

 _Possessive, yeah, but I wouldn't adorn him with unnecessary traits. If I have to think of permanent traits, he'd be grumpy and would be having that I-liked-it-first-so-it-is-considered-mine behavior. And yes, he does trust her but it is not enough. He is capable of more and he knows it but the time hasn't come yet._

 **HollyNinetales,** _thanks for the compliment! I so wanted to have a scene like that. Naruto, caring for them and secretly shipping them, too haha_

 _Thank for leaving yet another review,_ **MademoiselleRED.** _Hope you'll stay through the torture of a couple more oppressive chapters before another SS thing happens._

 _Thank you for taking time to write that review, **yamada chibi,** appreciate it greatly! I know people of my modern world don't like women described less beautiful, weaker and not self-confident but I want us to face the facts. I am inside of her head and we must admit every woman (I assume every man too) is haunted by those inner questions and fears whether they're good enough or beautiful and the conclusions they make are on the basis of the others around them. Sakura knows her worth as a physician but doesn't feel good among beautiful women because she doesn't think as highly for her appearance. As you might have noticed, I have at least 3 characters that consider Sakura gorgeous. I don't want people to think I'm __portraying_ _her as a poor creature, that's what she_ _thinks of herself_ _. Sasuke will play a good role in raising her self-confidence. She will change her opinion of herself with time, don't worry. For the KakaSaku, I have some things prepared there, too. And Ino… well, I don't like the type of people like her at all, the clattering one that uses of human beings as toys and etc. but she grows too, in her own way and it is for the better!_


	20. Of Knights And Swords

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in it.**

* * *

 **XX.**

 **\- Of Knights And Swords -**

Sakura didn't feel her limbs when they finally entered a sheltered place. Fortunately, the grenade in her hand didn't blow and was taken away from her a little before they arrived. Unfortunately, they took away the coat on her, too. The wind remained outside, still wailing in the distance. That place, it was likely a cave of some sort… the haunting hiss of the gale from which she was finally saved had a specific sound. As if it slid through cracks of stone and then echoed through vast spaces.

A quiet whisper reached her ears and she turned around, trying to distinguish words. The clothing over her eyes was too dark and she couldn't see where she was standing or whether the place was lit up in any way. Taking short breaths, Sakura was hit by reiterating cold and warm waves. It began a while ago but she forced herself to walk further, ignoring her body. Now that she stopped moving, her vision blurred and her mind dazzled, about to betray her.

Right when she hung on the edge of fainting, someone grabbed her again and led her through a rough pathway, deeper into the cave. The ground underneath was а solid, rugged stone that dug and hurt her bare feet but Sakura focused on something else – she started counting the turns and memorizing the direction she was led to. At least that kept her mind busy from the pain. Not long after, they stopped and she heard the creaking of metallic hinges. Her silent companion pushed her forward and she heard the door bashing shut next to her. The click that locked up resounded heavily in the silence around her. But it didn't affect her fortitude, she was determined to know what was going on.

She removed the cloth from her eyes at once, but it was pitch black in the room, apart from the faint light she saw walking away. Her hands reached, touching the cold metal bars that parted her from the receding glow. So that was… a cell.

"Wait!" Sakura's tiny hand squeezed between the bars. "I want to speak with your leader."

The light carrier stopped, without turning around. A dry scoff came out of him.

"You will speak with him when he decides to." It was the voice of the second man who was there when she left the base, she recognized it, but that didn't change the fact that the answer was most despairing.

The man retreated and she slid down, sitting on the ground.

Her mind couldn't fully apprehend her situation, everything shifting around her as if in a dream. Where was she and what did these people want from her?

Sakura looked around but everything was sunk in darkness and she couldn't discern the linings of her current prison. There was this dull pain in the tips of her fingers and toes, she was sure the cold had taken a hold of them long before she realized it. Her senses were yet to fail her, for the temperature of the air in that cell wasn't much different from outside, only the wind didn't cut through her grazes mercilessly now.

She decided to trace the size of her current residence and crawled her way along the wall on her right. It was stone, what she touched, but it crumbled at places. Something small shifted close to her with chirpy sounds and she backed away from the wall, returning to the door as fast as she could. Rats. Of course. It was the surprise that frightened her more but there was something rather unnerving in having rats for companions in a dark and cold cell. The shudder that ran through her was strong enough. Alright. Everything was alright. For now. As long as she hadn't lost her mind, it was alright.

All in all, the cell was around ten square meters. As humid as this place was, she wondered if… the hinges weren't rusty enough to shift from their sockets. Still on all fours, she turned around and passed her hand over the metallic frame and caught the bars, trying to shift the door with a few forceful pushes that turned out louder than she wanted them to be.

The door remained intact, despite her attempts.

Sakura exhaled, relaxing back. Not a chance, this thing wasn't going to move an inch, not with her benumbed body and an empty stomach. Hollow echoes of footsteps neared her and she crawled, away from the door. The figure approached and stopped in front of the door, holding a candle.

The light was sufficient for Sakura to see; it was a woman.

"If you don't stop making noise, you'll get beaten until you can't make any." The woman's voice was calmer than Sakura expected.

There was an intimidating tinge in it, though something about the intonation hinted that she wasn't one to personally deal with problematic hostages. The woman kneeled and left the candle on Sakura's side, along with something small next to it.

"Where am I?" Sakura blurted out the first thing that her mind made up.

She pasted to the door at lightning speed, inches away from the woman's face. Her amber eyes stilled on the ones against her; the faint flame casting dark, dancing shadows on her pale face. It was a beautiful face, although it wasn't quite youthful. A small piercing adorned her lower lip, adding the needed dose of eccentricity.

"Akatsuki's Hold. We call it a lair, though." The woman answered, unbothered by Sakura's nearly wild expression. " _Hold_ sounds too formal, considering the things we do here."

Sakura exhaled sharply. Akatsuki? She had heard a lot about them. The massacres they left behind, the fear, the silence. Akatsuki were a unified madness, their deeds among the people spread far and wide. They were like a nightmare that haunted everyone, day and night. Some say they existed even before the war started, often blamed for all the misfortunes that had no explanation through the smaller villages. Disappearing children, random murders for no particular reason, stealing and raping.

The military had done its best to catch them but all the tracks led to nothing, Akatsuki moved unnoticed and changed skin like chameleons. No one knew where they hid because they switched places constantly. No one knew how Akatsuki's members looked like, too, because not one that has seen them lived to tell. Rivaling with that criminal group required a gaming, strategic mind that could take collateral damage without a second thought; a well-trained chess player without scruples or conscience to stop him from using brute force when it's needed.

Sakura swallowed down the lump in her throat.

If she knew, she would've put up a fight then and there, in her tent. Now, when she was already locked up behind metal bars and beneath stone and darkness, her hope slowly evaporated.

The woman looked at her - her indifferent, stony physiognomy sent shivers down Sakura's spine and she backed away a tad more.

"What do you want from me?"

The woman slightly tilted her head, scrutinizing Sakura's body and the latter furrowed at the examination.

" _I_ don't want anything from you. Can't say that for the rest." The woman replied, standing back on her feet. "You're pretty. He always picks up pretty ones."

Sakura's breath was labored, something of a panic starting to build inside of her. She wrapped her hands tighter around herself and realized her hands were shaking.

"You can have the candle, it's gonna burn out in an hour anyway." The woman spoke as she walked away, her slow pace suggesting she's threaded these corridors enough times to not be concerned with the complete lack of light.

Sakura needed not ask further, the situation was clear enough. She wasn't getting out of there alive.

The heaviness in her chest grew larger with every passing second she stood there, still and silent. The stinging sensation in her eyes as supposed to bring tears to her eyes but they remained dry, she forced them to. Losing the water supply of her body was unwise, giving the fact that her captors weren't interested in her health, would've been funny if they did. Then again… that woman left her candle. Perhaps they were interested in keeping her alive, whatever the reason.

Sakura found it harder to move, with the cold crawling its way underneath her skin. However, the little flame the candle made her happy beyond words. She hovered her hands over it and enjoyed the warmth as she never did before. The small thing that woman left was a piece of bread… or rather a crust of a really old one.

Distant, agonizing screams echoed through the corridor and she dropped the crust looking up. That was a human voice, twisted by pain. The horror of anticipation gathered force inside of her. It was a grain fear this morning but now it transformed into a landslide and it frightened her more than the physical pain. In fact, she didn't even mind the physical pain, having to hear that shrill voice for the longest time.

Her appetite didn't disappear, though, and she lowered her eyes to the flame, disgusted by herself. She picked up the crust and chewed on a small morsel, despite that the awful sounds coming from somewhere close to her cell were of a tortured person. Eating on such a dark background reminded her how quickly people could turn into animals when their basic instincts are tingled. She hadn't eaten in more than sixteen hours and the continuous walking exhausted her. The coldness was bearable, the hunger – not.

Leaving that piece of bread untouched out of unspoken respect toward the human being near her seemed a good idea until the obsessive thought of hunger didn't command her to eat it. Sakura couldn't fight it, only try to control it by eating slowly and not swallowing everything at once.

About fifteen minutes later she was still hearing those screams, eyes fixed on the flickering light in front of her. It was about to die soon, she knew that, and that's why she was glad for every second of it.

Was she doomed? Under no circumstances was she to give any valuable information, even if they tortured her. What was left for her then? Even if she survived the torture, she'd die from the cold or the hunger. Perhaps they intended to keep her in that cell for months until she languished to death. Was it in her power to oppose these people or she would break under the pressure sooner than she thought?

The screaming ceased abruptly and she let out a sharp breath, realizing that the human's life ended within that second. Her eyes filled with tears but it was anger that pooled inside of her. She could fight her way out, right? Much less, she remembered the way out. Why not give it a try next time someone came? That's exactly what she was going to do.

With that thought, the flame on her candle died out and left her at the mercy of her thoughts.

* * *

The sound of the door unlocking snapped her awake. Not until she heard it unlocking she realized that drowsiness had taken her down and she had slid down and fallen asleep on the hard ground. An awful concurrence of circumstances, it was. A few seconds after opening her eyes she sneezed twice, feeling her whole body shaking.

Her new visitor brought another candle, she saw the glimmer with her peripheral sight but was busy heaving up, with the help of the wall behind her. Unexpectedly, the visitor surrounded her shrunk form and left the candle on the ground, sitting next to her. Sakura involuntarily flinched away, scared of the sight her eyes fell on, once they sought to meet the newcomer.

Her very first thought was how excruciating the pain from those piercings was when they were made. Drilling holes in your nasal bone was masochistic on a whole another level. With those countless metallic pieces on his nose, lips, and ears he had an intriguing appearance. Sakura felt that it wasn't appropriate to stare but she didn't avert her eyes and he said nothing about her examination either. Surely he received that same pair of curious eyes from everyone he faced for the first time.

Something told her he didn't mind her looking, as if… he was glad she did. He made a statement with his appearance and waited for her to decode.

He seemed to have something Nordic in his blood because his hair was in the color of smelted copper and the flicker gave it a lively tinge. And as every northerner, his eyes were pale, almost transparent. They had a silvery hue in them but it was too dark to discern their real color. If he hadn't added all that metal to his face, Sakura would've thought him beautiful, in the sense of natural. Rarely people were satisfied with their natural appearance and went through a lot to reach something with which others were blessed with since their birth.

"Are you the leader of Akatsuki?" Sakura asked, quietly.

"Yes."

Sakura was taken aback by the overly pleasant deep timbre. It was one of these voices you could listen to for hours.

"What do you want from me?" She drawled, afraid that her tone could sound harsher than she intends it to be.

"Nothing in particular. You work for the Government, which makes you an enemy."

Sakura didn't dare spread her hands to the warmth of his candle. His eyes were vigilant of every breath she took and every motion she made. They were frigid and darkness lingered within them. Those people, all of them were barbarians and she couldn't afford to trigger anything unwanted.

He didn't take his eyes off her, rarely blinked; cold sweat started breaking out on the skin of her palms and forehead.

Was that it? Did they drag her all the way to their hideout because of no reason?

"Who are you?" Out of all the questions, this one she chose at the end. It was neutral enough to buy her time to think. He didn't lock the door when entered, did he?

"Many call me Pain." He paused. "Use whatever suits you."

His voice was so low that she wondered if it didn't hurt him to speak.

"Pain. Of course." Sakura scoffed inconveniently. "What's your goal… Pain?"

The man's gaze slowly lowered to the candle.

"Am I supposed to have one?"

Sakura enveloped her legs with hands.

"Your subordinates didn't appear … devoted to a cause as much as you do." Sakura murmured quickly.

His somber expression didn't change, although he grew pensive after hearing her words.

"I want peace."

Sakura narrowed eyes. Was there a catch in that answer?

"How do you achieve peace through violence?"

"How do _you_ achieve peace through violence?" He parried, right after.

"I am a doctor. I despise violence." Sakura furrowed.

"And your authorities? All those advanced military structures and cadres that your Government keeps investing in with your money while in the meantime lies about all of it being for better protection? For the security?" Pain made a pause, staring at her as if awaiting a reaction. "Your Government steals your money and doesn't care what the soldiers carrying the nation's crest do as long as they don't cause much trouble."

Sakura remained silent for a while, carefully estimating her opposition. There was a heavy bitterness in his voice but he hid it very well. It was a sore subject. On the other side, he was right about everything. No one did nothing about changing the status quo, though. Because no one wanted any additional problems. Life was pretty hard without the Government trying to ruin it anyway. Still, his tone opened up questions. Questions that corroded her and she couldn't overcome the curiosity in her, once it got into her. The words rolled out of her mouth before she could think them through.

"What makes you think that way?"

"Alright." Pain leaned on the wall, catching the hint. "I'll tell you a story."

His offer surprised her in the beginning but she said nothing, leaving the silence for him to fill it up.

"Once upon a time, there was a boy that lived with his mother and father peacefully in a small village. It always rained, in that village, but the boy didn't mind. The boy loved the rain, in fact. As long as it deafened the sounds of clashing swords and armor that echoed constantly in the back. Distant but unceasing, every day and every night." Pain slowed down to a pause but then took another breath. "However, on one of those rainy days, something excited happened. The boy's parents told him to stay in the house. When the boy asked why, they only said: _"It's too dangerous for you to play outside."_

"The boy was confused. But he had decided it's not that bad to stay at home for a while. A day passed, then a second, then a third. The boy started to feel strange because his parents were quiet and didn't explain to him why is it so dangerous outside. Weren't the knights supposed to protect them from the evil? The parents explained to him that's true but it would be easier for the knights to protect the people if they stayed hidden in their homes. The boy found the answer to be plausible and continued playing with his toys."

Sakura sneezed again and although she covered her mouth the faint current of air blew out the twinkle nevertheless. Was it a good time to run now, as it was pitch black? She was just about to stand up and run when a match was lit up in a fragile flame. It only grew a tad bigger when it touched the candle's fuse. Her plans were postponed once again, she relaxed back in her place.

Her body was shuddering beyond her control now and she was sure it was close to a hypothermia. That nighty of hers could barely be called a clothing.

"Wonder why people don't use candles anymore." Pain commented absently after the awkward pause.

"Was that the end of the story?"

A deep sigh escaped his lips after her question.

"You're eager for an ending. Like everyone else." He pondered. "Why do people like having an ending? Wouldn't it be better if stories had no end?"

"Depends on the story." Sakura decided to play his game, shrugging.

"Yes, it does. How do you think that story ends?"

"I don't know. Didn't strike me much as the fairy tale kind. Should I expect a twist of the plot?"

Pain looked at her, the silence heavy with anticipation. Sakura knew her tone was way more caustic than it should be and he didn't like it. Although she was fairly concerned with her own life, she still thought him psychotic. Not so well hidden, traces of blood painted the lower wrist of his right hand. His or someone else's, it was safe to say his last occupation was a variation of surgical, yet he sat on the stone in her cell and was focused on telling her a story.

Sakura held his eyes, determined to level his insanity with her courage.

"Five days had the parents locked themselves with their son but when the night fell on the sixth something incredible happened. Two knights came to the house. The boy was too fascinated to notice that the two of them, as noble as they were, entered the house quite abruptly. Deciding that he would've forgotten his manners too if he was as hungry, the boy paid no mind to their demeanor and headed to meet them. But his parents forbid him. Instead of greeting the guests, the parents told him to leave the house at once. Even more confused, the boy tried to ask why. His parents ignored his attempts to understand what was happening and ordered him to leave from the door behind. They promised to meet him when he's outside."

Pain averted his face from the light and remained silent for a while. The tension that had built in Sakura intertwined with the gut feeling that had her stomach tied as if on a knot. And her eyes, they blurred against her will. She was so fixed on the opposition that she didn't perceive the context of the narration. Now that she did, all she felt was regret for acting as she did.

"The boy went outside and but soon after heard the well-known sound of steel against steel. The shrill sounds mingled with muffled voices until everything went quiet again. The curiosity got the best of the boy and he returned to the house. Perhaps they prepared a surprise for me, he thought. His parents knew how much he admired the flaring knights because he had always wanted to become one. He had always wanted to protect the world from the evil."

Sakura caught a slight change in his tone. It sank deeper and deeper in melancholy. He didn't speak willingly, for sure. He spoke as if it was his obligation to share.

" _Wait a second!_ " Pain's voice suddenly acquired a heavy dramatic tint and Sakura startled. He switched to direct speech, though the character was new. _"These people are not evil."_

"The boy heard the words before entering the kitchen. He was so excited to meet the heroes that he almost tripped over the bodies of his parents. They laid on the ground, asleep. The boy blinked at them, wondering if it was part of the surprise."

" _Good God,_ " One of the noble knights said, falling on his knees. " _Forgive us, boy. We thought your parents evil. Why, oh, why they had to fight us back?_ " Pain took a breath. "The boy still couldn't understand."

" _Forgive us, boy._ " Pain forced a theatrical tone but he failed it, morphing it back to his own natural, broad one. " _There was no way we could've known and now it is too late._ "

"The boy looked at his parents, at a loss. He couldn't believe his shining knights… his heroes have taken away his most precious. Were they real heroes? Who said they were, in the first place? The pain that erupted inside of him was so massive that it marked him, engraving the sore sensation as the only thing he would ever feel until the rest of his life. He couldn't think or see anything else. Pain has become him and he – pain. They were one from that day on."

Sakura forgot to breathe in the moment of silence he opened, turning to look at her with the same powerful emanation he gave out since he came. She said nothing, forestalling a continuation.

"He grabbed the sword lying next to his father and looked at it carefully. If those who killed and stole from him were called heroes, then he could be a hero, too, right? He only needed to gain his first victory and win his title. The heroes fell under that same sword and the boy was knighted, at last. His dream came true."

Sakura observed him for quite some time but was astounded of his lack of expression. He had either learned to master it to perfection or has turned it off as the safety mechanism his mind needed in order to survive. She was ready to bet on the first because the blood on his hands was his choice to delve into the problem… if he saw it as a problem at all. Perhaps into delving, he saw his cure, his growth. The more it hurt, the better.

She had to disagree on this one, though. The pain was not the only way to peace. But it took a great deal of inner fighting to face and overcome your own destructive nature. People weren't entirely evil, neither were they entirely good. His mistake lied in forcing his solution over others, convinced it was the only right one.

"You were the one in Shimura's factory, weren't you?" Sakura renewed the conversation, changing the subject. "I saw you."

His eyes narrowed just a tad.

"Yes. He wanted a mercenary to clear out some people he thought unnecessary."

Sakura scoffed.

"I refused. Shimura fooled some of us but he hadn't a hold on me and couldn't offer me anything I am interested in. And that angered him."

 _Some of us?_ Sakura furrowed. Could he speak of… Itachi? What exactly happened there?

"That man saw no further than his selfish desires. Money, power, respect. Trite and childish. I saw he corrupted the world with his very presence, he had to die."

Sakura's eyes went to and fro. Perhaps her squad had entered in the exact time and place. If they had been a minute late, Pain would've killed Shimura. But…

"Did you know there were bombs planted all across the village, including in the factory?" Sakura decided to ask, after all. It was too much of a coincidence.

Pain's face took a momentary confusion but he regained his composure, his gaze darkening even more. Sakura regretted asking, the disgust in him only rose up more. An irony of faith, with defusing those bombs her squad had saved his life, too.

"What did you think about back then?" He asked, as calmly as before. "I saw you standing aside from everyone, in deep thought. When he blew himself to pieces."

Sakura exhaled sharply. Was that why his group bothered to abduct her? So that he could ask her what she thought about?

Before she could answer, another figure busted into the cell with no light whatsoever. Sakura startled by the sudden intrusion but remained still until the figure didn't approach and grab her, pulling her up.

"Found you. Come here, love." She finally met him, face to face; she wouldn't mistake that youthful voice anywhere. As much as she could see on that faint light, his hair was a dirty blonde and tied in a ponytail and his eyes, she couldn't quite tell – his pupils were so widened that whatever the nuance was, it was lost in the darkness. His wild expression held a wicked glimmer that sent shivers down her spine.

"Deidara, wait for me to finish my conversation, will you?" Pain intervened, not in the least bothered by that man's sudden presence.

It was not like that with Sakura. That man's very presence caused her nausea and she didn't regret bashing him away with all the strength she could gather. Now was the time to give it a try, she thought, and ran away from the cell, starting to count the turns and corridors, ignoring the pain in her limbs and the cold current of air that brushed against her skin.

She could do it… she could run away from that awful place.

The tiny glimpse of daylight she saw in the far distance returned her hope and she hurried to meet it, not caring to stop or turn back. There was no one around.

Her heavy breathing was all she could hear and it was enough to raise questions. Why wasn't there anyone around? And what if she escaped, how long was she going to survive in her nighty and with bare feet? Which way was she going to take even if she got out? They covered her eyes. The intrusive thoughts kept attacking her but she looked straight ahead and ran to the light, convinced it was the right way. Closer… closer, she was almost free.

Somehow, in some strange, unknown to her way, she knew that she had to pay a price, since the moment she saw him. Then, the kiss she placed on his forehead was a testament, a contract. Sakura knew in her heart that she had to pay… if she really wanted to redeem him. Truth was, she thought she'd escape the payment. Because she was scared whether she was strong enough to take it. So scared that she started questioning herself if he was even worth it. But there was something like a sign, or rather a brand, in her heart that kept bothering her. She hated the word destiny but it looked like her life was led by a higher power and its thread intertwined with his. And she could fo nothing about it. It was a conviction so strong that left no place for doubt. If that was going to be the price she pays to have him, then so be it.

"Where are you going?"

A hand pulled her back, wrapping a thin cord around her hands once they were pulled behind her back. The tie was made so quickly that she realized she was braced not until its creator jerked her backwards. She fell on her knees but her eyes remained on the light in front of her, so close that it angered her to tears.

The man who held her neared but she decided she wasn't done yet. If he was alone, she had a chance, even if he was one of the most skillful assassins. Sakura coiled the rope and pulled sharply, rising to kick her opponent but he evaded her, almost dancing around. His cord tightened her arms to her body and before she could react, it was around her neck, too.

Sasori was sure to cause her a whiplash with a finishing drag but she stopped moving, showing him that she gave up. She couldn't trace his movements, having her eyes grown used to the thick darkness of that cell - that was the reason she lost the battle from the very beginning.

"Vigorous." He pulled the cord slowly, forcing her closer to him. His voice was breathy and flat, but not uninterested. Sakura looked away, tears filling her eyes at the thought of what awaited her in that dungeon. Sasori pulled her until she could feel the heat of his skin. "Artful."

He turned her chin to him but she still averted her tearful gaze when his thumb caressed her lips with the thoughtfulness and the admiration of a sculptor.

"Symmetrical."

He slowly ripped a part of her nighty but approaching steps distracted him from his quiet fascination.

"Sasori, get her back to the cell." It was the woman from before, Sakura recognized her soft timbre right away. "Pain ordered to keep her there."

"Of course." Sasori glanced at the girl tiredly, then back at Sakura. "You know I hate making people wait… He didn't say what we can do with her in the meantime, did he?"

The woman didn't reply, turning back to leave.

Sakura glanced at the light she failed to reach for one last time as Sasori dragged her down the corridors from where she came. It wasn't wasted... her little riot. At least now she knew for sure where the exit was.

* * *

 _A/N: Thanks for reading. I really love Pain, ok? I love his logic and his manner and the way superiority comes naturally to him. He and Sakura have more to talk about, though. In the next chapter. To all of you who wonder about things, I am not going to answer most questions thrown at me in the A/N because the story is totally not gonna be interesting if I do._

* * *

 _ **Esther-himechan,**_ _you can call me a bomb-dropper, yeah. I do that a lot. xD_

 _ **Tehreem940,**_ _thanks for reviewing. I'm glad you like the twists, I like them too._

 _ **Ana,**_ _I hope that chapter answers most of your questions and thank you for being so excited about that abducting hah. You are the loveliest! I won't involve Madara in this fic, though. Itachi is dead here but he has a small part in the future chapters. You'll see. Sasuke… *sighs* the morphine he threw out was actually a symbolic gesture because that morphine (as I was about to explain further) was Sakuras. Which kinda answers why he threw it but also doesn't really explain how/why he had it with him. I am not spoiling anything!_


	21. Kindness Everlasting

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in it.**

* * *

 **XXI.**

 **\- Kindness Everlasting -**

She had no strength left.

Not for speaking, not for moving or breathing. Eyelids closed, she spent an indefinite amount of time laying on the moist soil, in the early darkness, walking over the thin line between falling unconscious and staying awake. Deep down, she was convinced that falling asleep was inevitable in her condition and the truth was, falling asleep now was going to prolong the dream into an eternal one. The battle was strenuous and at times unbearable, she admitted it. Having lost the ability to walk or crawl, she had no actual chance of progressing or reaching any help.

Sakura didn't feel any part of her body, the cold had taken over her long before she left the hideout; slowly possessing every cell of hers and completely winning over her in the last minutes. It was an invisible force that pulled the thread of her life and she saw it loosened, tearing apart and she could do nothing to fight it. The peaceful silence and solitude of the forest were welcoming amidst her inhuman struggle to remain in this world and not be dragged into the other. The ripped matter of her nighty barely covered her body from the razor-sharp claws of the morning wind.

Well, it wasn't that bad of a place. People have died in horrible places, in great pain. All she was going to do is fall asleep and never wake up again. A calm and quiet slumber. The sounds of the winter birds, that previously distracted her, gradually hushed and now all she heard was the beating of her own heart, almost even. It was like a metronome, pumping in the rhythm set by the grand Musician, at her birth. It was a beautiful sound, she had always loved it. Even before she realized she wanted to be a doctor. It was beautiful but somewhat lonely. Listening to a metronome without music to accompany it wasn't how it should be. The ticking existed as a base for the music, and music – well, music was a rare phenomenon. Yet she was glad she heard it, in all its colors. She was joyful, having the chance to touch that same sweetness people sang and wrote about since they existed in this world. Only that she had to let it go now.

The music that resounded whenever he was around her was not like anything she knew and it brought tears to the corners of her eyes, despite that they were shut. The music he brought was majestic and fearful and riveting but only in the beginning. Then it humbled to silent harmonies and gifted whoever had the patience to reach the ending. His music… she could've danced on his music. Only if she was granted the chance.

Her heartbeat slowed down gradually and her breathing shallowed. Slowly, a darkness cloaked her mind and she sank deeper with the… last breath she took.

 _Let it be over._

Her own words rang out in her head, over the thick silence she resided in. Followed by someone else's.

 _Where do you think you're going?_

Oh, no. Panic invaded her peace of mind when she saw the path she followed. Was it too late… to turn around? She couldn't move an inch, enfettered and unable to oppose the drowsiness.

 _Sasuke?_

Her call echoed in the emptiness of her mind, as if searching for an answer, while she wandered in the vast and dark space. Was that what happened when you die? You wander in your mind, like a ghost, passing through memories and observing, without… feeling anything. Visions shifted rapidly, memoirs of a lifespan – short but rich in experience. Her thoughts were searching for a phrase in particular. She feared it might be lost under all the piles of words and images there. A firm, masterful voice.

 _Come back._

Sakura heard the vexation of his voice so clearly that she took a breath and emerged on top, returning to the reality of her battle. The wind still lamented but there was something else, too.

"What's that over there?!"

"It's her! Guys, we found her!"

"Is she breathing?"

"Quickly. Get her a blanket."

Distant, muffled voices touched her ears and her numb fingers grazed the hard ground. Someone has found her… someone came to help her. She was too powerless to rejoice but that was not important, she was saved.

"Sakura? Do you hear me?" Strong hands reached for her and lifted her off the ground. Sakura tried to open her eyes or speak but she couldn't bring herself to do it, instead taking a weak hold on her carrier's clothes as a sign.

"She's alive."

She knew that voice well – that calm timbre - it was Kakashi that carried her. Her thoughts drifted off when someone wrapped her in a soft blanket.

* * *

The fever that gripped and shook her was unlike any other she had previously had. It was a long torture; she woke up and turned at one side, then to another, trying to take a sip of air. Her mouth was dry and her ears stopped up. Whenever she found herself awake, all she could think of was water because her body was on fire. In this ember-like state, she couldn't help but wish for it to end or abate in some way. All she wished was for the daylight to come and pierce through her window.

People came and went but she couldn't discern voices or faces. The outlines were blurred through her eyes, nothing mattered as much as finding the patience to endure; as much as forcing her spirit to find the path back to the material existence and focus on the draining but purifying pains of her body.

The daylight, no matter how weak, always arrived. Faint sunbeams fell on her face and she furrowed. The headache was way too strong than she thought it'd be but it didn't stop her from opening her eyes. The tarpaulin, the light bulb… it was her tent. Her head slowly tilted and she smiled, seeing Ino curled on a chair next to the bed. She was a veritable cocoon, wrapped in a thick blanket and sleeping, despite the impossible angle.

A flash of reminiscence struck her and she turned away for a second, her face a grimace of pain. She raised her hand and examined it. And that nighty, it was disgusting.

Sakura heaved up, holding her aching head with one hand.

She had to… stand up and go to the shower. That stink… Her breath quickly became labored.

"Sakura." Ino woke up and almost jumped off the chair. She caught her friend and laid her down. "You have to rest, you're still feverish."

"I have to go," Sakura's eyes were blurred. "I want to wash myself."

The panic in her voice perplexed Ino and for a moment she just wondered what to do.

"You'll go and wash yourself but you'll eat breakfast first, ok?" She sat on the bed, looking at Sakura with heavy concern.

Sakura held her eyes, silent tears falling from hers.

"Ino," She whispered. "Is everyone safe? Are you alright?"

"Yes. Everyone's alright." Ino hurried to reply, furrowing. "You were abducted and we looked for you in the last three days. You have no idea how glad we are you're al-"

"Where is he?" Sakura shot her next question before Ino could even finish.

Ino ignored her persisting gaze.

"Gone. Left the base in the night you were abducted. We thought you two might be together but the night patrol confirmed there was a breakthrough."

"Gone? Where?"

"We don't know."

"He doesn't know I was abducted." Sakura mouthed, relieved at the conclusion.

"No, he doesn't." Ino sighed. "Naruto tried reaching him through his phone, in all ways possible, but he just doesn't respond."

Sakura withered, looking away. Her friend's eyes stilled on her, a tad curious.

"Are you sure you're alright? You have a… a stab wound and…" Ino started, quietly. "Bruises."

"I don't want to talk about it, Ino." Sakura cut her off, trying to ignore the dread rising in her chest.

"I'm sorry." Ino stood up inconveniently. "I'll bring you something to eat. Lay still for a little longer."

"I'm not hungry," Sakura whispered, although Ino was already closing the door from outside.

* * *

 _What day was it? Or was it a night?_

 _Where her skin wasn't affected by the cold sensation of the numbness, it blazed with the soreness of a rough and a violent touch. The shivers through her body couldn't shake off the disgust. The blood in her veins had become thick with shame, her tears – dried out along with her hope. Her mind was playing and repeating on a feigned imagery, strong enough to exchange the reality._

 _She wasn't there. It was an illusion of hers, this place of dense darkness. Those people_ _,_ _those ghosts of torture sent her way. Their voices in her ear. Their thirst and the cruelty they found joy in. That bruised body, it wasn't hers, neither was that foreign, masculine scent she could taste in the air. She ignored the pain and the contempt, fighting to prove herself the imagery was convincing; the imagery was her only truth._

 _Not these memories. Not this scent nor that warmth. They weren't familiar, she wouldn't let them become such. But somehow they have stained on her skin, they have marked it and she didn't think she could erase them in any way._

 _The creaking sound of the door didn't even scare her anymore. She laid motionless, head turned aside and waited for the next one. The long moment of silence was something unusual. Where was the ravaging, animalistic manner in this one? Or he found some distorted pleasure in observing his prey at its weakest? Either way, he took his time. Original approach. Was he expecting her to play a role? One of them was quite passionate about marionettes. Did her wrists stop bleeding yet?_

 _"I locked myself in a cage like this for a month and a half once."_

 _Sakura smiled. It was about time he showed up. The sound of that voice could dig a grave itself. It was somewhat strange to think that way but it was so fittingly morose. It was what this place, these walls would've sounded like if they had a voice. Yet that voice held zeal in its own way. It never demanded but it had the power to do so. At the same time, it was resolute and adroit in expression. Never too strong, never too weak. Was it sinful of her to like the sound of it as much?_

" _To feel what it's like."_

 _He stepped into the cell and stopped next to her shoulder but she didn't care to look his way. It was too dark anyway._

 _"It's not imprisonment if you know you're free to go at any time." She said as if more to herself._

 _"You must think we're some kind of savages." Pain remarked. "We are. Some of us."_

 _"You're not?" Sakura pondered._

 _Pain chose to remain silent._

 _"I'm confused." She furrowed, quick to renew the conversation._

 _"I'll leave them to do as they please until they break you." He explained. "Until you feel our pain as deeply as we know it. Until you comprehend it."_

" _I don't need to feel pain... to understand you."_

" _Of course you need to. There is no other way."_

 _Sakura wondered whether he came to preach or something was gnawing at him and he had to speak his philosophy out and convince himself of his own truths because they were threatened by something._

" _Do you know anything about a man called Itachi Uchiha?" Pain suddenly asked, with a harassed undertone Sakura didn't fail to notice._

" _He has died, not long ago. That's all I know."_

" _Do you know his brother? You are in the same platoon as him, I believe."_

" _Yes."_

" _Has he mentioned anything about his brother?"_

 _Pain's voice was even and emotionless but still persistent. He was a skilled interrogator, Sakura thought._

" _I don't think he has." She drawled but then silence fell between them._

 _Pain, it seems, had dived into his own thoughts and paid her no mind, as if she wasn't in the room at all. She decided it was fair to ask her questions, too._

" _Why am I here?"_

 _Sakura's breath hitched when he grabbed her by the collar and dragged her to the wall, lifting her up against it. Something sharp and metallic was pressed against the left side of her chest. Everything she relied on was her sense of touch but the vibe he gave out was tangible – he was sensibly furious._

" _Because you are a runaway." Pain fumed, for the first time the anger in his voice discernable. "I saw you at the factory. You were the one who stood by and watched. You didn't approach because you were scared of what you might see. You preferred to save yourself the blood and the grotesque of the reality you exist in." He made a pause, his breathing was heavier. "I know people like that. There are too many of you. How dare you hide your face from the suffering when some of us are bound to live within it and find no escape from it even when we close our eyes at night?"_

" _I was scared, yes." Sakura snapped. "What of it? Am I to blame for your personal suffering? Should we annihilate each other endlessly because no one understands the other's pain?"_

" _You have no right to speak." Pain said, sharply. "Heathen. Do you think the world needs more heroic deeds and sacrifices? Do you still think goodness can free it from its dark chains? Hundreds upon hundreds die because someone still thinks the way you do. If one knows the true depths of pain, he would reach enlightenment and wouldn't want to strike his fellows."_

" _And you want to purge the darkness with pain? This is just another form of tyranny."_

" _It is not for I inflict the same upon myself."_

" _Noble." Sakura scoffed but the metallic blade was pressed against her skin and she silenced. One more movement would ensure it had transfixed her heart. She wasn't sure whether his anger would stop on torture or her life was one of the many obstacles in the way of his belief. Finding peace was going to be hard if he held a blade against the rest of the world, too._

" _Go on." She continued, her hand grabbing the cloth of his shoulder for support. She didn't quite feel that her legs could carry her own weight so she leaned on him._ _"If you need it so bad."_

" _Need it? You don't understand the burden I carry. I don't need to kill you. You already know the truth yet… you insist on opposing me." His words slowed down. "I can order them to stop if you decide to join me."_

" _Join you?" Sakura breathed out, at a loss._

" _I'll accept you because I know mercy, unlike the ones you serve."_

 _Sakura closed her eyes. Join him… and unleash everything inhuman her fantasy could come up with. That was insanity. But then again, she wouldn't die… her suffering would end._

" _I know mercy."_ _Pain repeated as if hypnotizing her._

 _She couldn't possibly become a part of that group. Cruel wasn't the choice of her heart. There was no place for doubt, wasn't it? Her prolonged silence he took for a rejection of his offer and the blade slowly_ _cut through her skin. Sakura lost the balance she had and pressed herself against him, fist clenching the matter of his dark clothing._

 _If she was to die, then she had to do it gracefully, right?_

 _Her hands slipped down with difficulty and enveloped him in a hug. Her grip was tighter than she wanted to but… she didn't know whether she could stand for long on her own._

" _Pain is necessary but it is not the solution. You know that deep inside…" Sakura leaned her head on his chest with the slowest movement. "…but you can't afford to think that way because this world will consume you otherwise."_

 _He didn't speak, perhaps unsure whether she had said everything she wanted to. Nevertheless, his hand still pressed the edge deeper against her skin._

" _Don't become the evil you're seeking to destroy." She gave out a trembling whisper, on top of the stinging pain._

 _Then he stopped, freezing completely. Sakura tried to read what went through his mind but didn't dare move either, holding her breath. Something bothered him deeply, there was doubt in his hold of the weapon. It was unsteady, as well as his breathing._

 _What stopped him from delivering the blow now? Did his image of justice falter because of her words or was it the touch of her hands that hurt it? Perhaps it was strange but she sought no revenge, there was no hatred toward that man inside of her. It was that habit she created herself as a doctor – her eyes weren't to judge or classify people. The ones that came to her, they were all victims and she accepted everyone. Because they were patients in need of help and because they were all human beings._

 _Pain stepped back, pushing her away from him as if her touch was poisonous. Sakura leaned on the stone wall behind, surprised._

" _Leave."_

 _She stood without moving and wasn't sure if the word wasn't a creation of her mind, knowing how desperate it might get in the moments before death._

" _I said leave!" He yelled, making her flinch._

 _Sakura slowly shifted to the door and made a step outside the cell, her thoughts changing at lightning speed - hectic and searching for logic in her captor's behavior but she found none._

" _Thank you." She spoke quietly, her hand reaching into the dark but then she quickly recoiled, reminding herself to run away while she still could._

 _I will remember that._

 _Because pain is temporary but kindness… kindness is everlasting._

* * *

The door clicked open and Sakura blinked away from the memory, focusing on her visitor. Her lips parted, ready to protest at the amount of food coming her way but then again the carrier was not the one she expected and she didn't quite remember the speech she prepared when she saw him.

"You can't disobey me; I think you're aware of that fact." Kakashi professed, handing her the tray while speaking.

"I wasn't going to disobey you." Sakura smiled, eyeing the steaming bowl of soup in front of her.

"I am also really good at detecting lies."

Sakura chuckled and tilted her head with the most apologetic expression she could make.

"We just have no luck when it comes to medics." He sighed, sitting on her bed.

Sakura was about to speak but instead held her eyes on him without saying anything. His hands were intertwined in a strong grip in front of him. He certainly thought he was successfully hiding everything he wanted to hide but he was downright transparent. It was a military trick, what he did. His chest heaved up… one, two, three, four seconds. Holding your breath for a short time. Then it was time to release it – one, two, three, four seconds again. Repeat from the beginning. Over and over until you calm down.

That's what soldiers used to control their emotions and avoid being overthrown by the adrenaline rush in a combat situation. It did a flawless work when their hands were shaking, too. Sakura observed him practice the method for quite some time but even if he had found the serenity he sought, something told her he was far from gathering the courage to look her in the eyes. He ignored them from the moment he entered.

She carefully put the tray aside and reached for his hand, slowly parting it from the other. He was warm to the touch, warmer than she expected.

"I know what you're here for." She said, matter-of-factly, leaning in an attempt to find his only visible eye. "You're going to say you're sorry. And it's going to be about something that wasn't your fault. Which doesn't make any sense."

He looked at her, at last.

"You didn't deserve that. And I insist on telling you I'm sorry because you saved my life and I could've lost yours right when you needed help. From me."

"I might've deserved it. I don't know." Sakura shrugged. "I knew what I was signing for when I joined, that's for sure."

"Doesn't appease me in any way. You have to do better than that." Kakashi looked down at her small hand over his and shook his head.

"You did help me." Sakura squeezed his hand. "I could've died out there."

Kakashi stilled on her eyes, tired but still sparkling, without saying anything.

"I am so happy to see you again. You have no idea." Sakura gave a breathy laugh.

"Who was it?"

Sakura's beaming expression faded and she slowly leaned back on the pillow, letting him go.

"Does it matter?"

"Yes." Kakashi turned to her. "Every bit of information is valuable for us."

"Akatsuki."

A momentary surprise passed over his face but then he regained his composure and furrowed, sinking in thought. The concern was so clearly written on his face that she could trace how it gradually deepened to worry, then took the path down to anxiety.

"Akatsuki…" He stood up as if it would help him think better. Then he faced her again. "What did they want?"

Sakura pushed aside the invasive memories in her head and swallowed.

"I am not sure. Their leader asked me whether I know anything about Itachi Uchiha. But when he got no information from me changed the subject abruptly. I suspect his prime concern is Itachi but I don't know why."

"Strange." Kakashi raised a brow.

"Yeah." Sakura furrowed. "I think he thought I'd be useful to him in some way but…"

"You have to write a detailed report of what happened to you."

Sakura raised her eyes to him.

"I can't tell where their hideout was. I was blinded on my way there and running for my life on the way out. I don't remember much."

"Doesn't matter. High-levels will need to see the papers. They won't believe there was a breakthrough otherwise."

Sakura let out a puff, disgusted.

"That's all they care about, don't they? They need to have a random proof from someone because they need to be sure the money they'll have to pay for the damage go to the right place. Where it will serve them well after that. It's all good business."

Kakashi put his hands in his pockets.

"Nobody cares about the victims." Sakura sighed. " _They_ cost a lot and aren't profitable."

"It's been like that since forever." Kakashi murmured. "Don't know why you've opened the subject now."

"I don't know. Forget it." Sakura scoffed, uncertain why she had become so bitter about it all. Perhaps having the point of view of the victim changed the way of thinking more or less.

"You escaped?" Kakashi asked, carefully. "From Akatsuki?"

"I didn't." Sakura shook her head. "He let me go."

Kakashi narrowed eyes. Something about his expression told her he didn't believe her words.

"Are you sure about that?"

"I am not here to spy if that's what you're concerned about. I don't work for them, I'd never. He just…" Sakura released her breath, feeling her nerves tensed. "I think he didn't want to kill me. But he feared he might... if I stayed a minute longer."

"These people kill at random." Kakashi sighed. "I don't know how you've survived but I'm glad you did."

"Yeah, me too." Sakura looked up at him and hesitated whether to continue speaking but as the pause grew wider her courage evaporated.

"Don't worry, he'll be fine." Kakashi smiled when he saw the astounded look on her face.

Sakura felt the inconvenience painting her cheeks in a dark pink and hurried to look down, starting to play with the edge of her blanket.

"Do you know who held the record for the world's longest sniper shot until last year?" Kakashi inquired with a heavy determination, set on distracting her as if it was a matter of life and death.

Sakura raised her curious green eyes to him, shaking her head.

"Itachi Uchiha." He announced. "I haven't met a steadier hand and a grander mind than his in my life. Gifted, it was, that boy. Everyone thought so… until someone else showed up and broke his record."

Sakura held Kakashi's eye in wonder but then he walked away.

"Who broke it?" She asked, not completely sure to whom he referred to.

Kakashi opened the door and stopped at the threshold for a moment.

"I think you know that very well."

* * *

 _A/N: Thanks for reading, dear ones! I never thought I'd have as many readers. I was supposed to learn how to write better with that story lol I apologize for being so dark with those chapters but it's how it's supposed to be. I am sorry for the delay, too. I was really ill for a long time. Good news is I'm fine now; the bad news is, I have an upcoming month filled with exams and I don't know when I'll be able to update. I really hope I'll find the time. Thank you again and 'till next time!_

* * *

 _ **HollyNinetales,**_ _thank you for leaving a review. Pain is, in fact, a very confused and hurt person and Sakura knows it._

 _ **MileHigh94,**_ _thank you for the kind words, love! I hope you'll like it ahead._

 _Thank you,_ _ **Guest,**_ _for caring to leave a review yet again. I appreciate it!_

 _Thanks,_ _ **squeen7!**_ _I hope you liked their dialogue here. It was more like a conflict of philosophies than anything but still..._

 _Thank you so much,_ _ **androjack!**_ _*hug*_

 _ **Esther-himechan,**_ _thanks for letting me know that I've captured them well. I wondered if they were ok. Especially Sasori, he's kinda like a circus guy with that cord but it felt ok in my head for him to be like that lol And Pain… I love this character. Itachi is a mystery for later chapters, though haha_


	22. Water of Life

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in it.**

* * *

 **XXII.**

 **\- Water of Life -**

It was a torture to write with that pen. Almost out of ink, it got on her nerves to have the nib pressed on the page constantly just so that she could write out the words. Words that she didn't even want to write down. She dropped the pen and raised her hands up to the light. The red traces around her wrists were exposed at all times and served as a reminder of the psychological brand they left.

That report was like putting salt on the wound.

She had to reiterate every moment of that nightmare she wanted to forget. Not that she wrote everything. It was more of a sketch, what she did. The whole picture she kept for herself. Such savagery she didn't think existed out there. All she saw was what Konoha gave her, what the hospital gave her, they were her world. The war was raging with its full palette of deprivation outside her constricted sphere of existence. War… gave the freedom humanity didn't need.

As she feared, freedom was most dangerous when limitless. Every twisted fantasy and darkest thought was permitted and the constructs of law no longer served as a shield to people who couldn't protect themselves. It was a darkness that devoured everyone and everything at waves, for months and years, and whoever wasn't prepared for it suffered.

Freedom was the core reason for this war itself. Freedom of speech, freedom of being whatever fits you to be, freedom of clothing, freedom of choice. The selfishness of the human desires was like a fathomless well. It only became darker and deeper with every step further. And it was the madness of the ego. The ego that reigned and delighted in an endless fight for domination and uniqueness among the rest was what brought this world to chaos. The bases of the morale disappeared quickly, one block after another, because they proved to be useless in a society of strong individuals – each with a rightful sense of what's good and what evil.

Sakura sighed.

What could one do against the current of millions, though? Not much. Fighting was for the fools, reconcilement – for the cowards. She did not want to run against the current but walking was fine by her.

Her gaze averted to the small prescription bottle on her desk. Kakashi gave it to her and asked if she knows anything about it and she blurted out that she didn't. The situation was such that if she had said _yes_ he would've suspected her in illegal activities. Giving drugs to the soldiers without the captain knowing didn't appear flattering for herself so she answered negatively. Truth was, she was a tad surprised but not completely unaware of the situation.

Reiterating the memories of every past encounter she has had with Sasuke, she did not remember him being in a possession of the drug. Although… she carried a bottle like this once. Many days ago, during the night in which they drank tea. Could it be? Did he steal the bottle?

Sakura was certain he didn't take the pills to kill a pain or drown a sorrow. The bottle should've been opened if so. But if that wasn't the case, why did he keep it to himself all this time without saying anything? The idea in her mind was more than ridiculous but not entirely impossible. Perhaps it was her image he associated with that object.

Her hand reached for the small bottle and examined it, a slight blush coloring her pale cheeks. But soon a furrow changed her momentary physiognomy and darkened her features. If he threw it away, then that meant… she wasn't needed anymore. A lump tightened her throat at the thought. It wasn't like she didn't expect that moment to come, it was that she couldn't picture herself, not needing him.

That cycle, the endless chase, how much was it until she gave up on it? How much was it going to last? Grown-ups didn't do any of this. They ended their relationships with a normal conversation. Her relationship with Sasuke looked nothing like what she thought she'd have. She chased but he never stopped running. It only fell back on her when he needed a distraction; he chose her because she was the one who stood closest to him, not because he recognized her affection or had intentions of recognizing it.

He came and wrenched her heart out of her chest, and she was struck by the realization she'd rather have it wrenched from him, with his painful honesty and tyrannical silence than have it kept in the sterile cage of someone else's flattery. Humans always became hypocritical when they required satisfying of the urges of their bodies. She has heard promises of all kinds but the only one who didn't make one at all was Sasuke.

He shut her out, left her behind, started running again. Sakura left the morphine back on the desk and scanned the sheet of paper in front of her. She could wait, for him to come back. Waiting was in her power.

Knocking on the door startled her out of her thoughts.

"Come in."

Naruto dashed in, his expression nearly angry, but he went straight to her and forcefully pulled her out of the chair just so that he could hug her. Sakura was surprised at first but then a smile curved on her lips. Warmth spread inside of her at the thought of how much she had missed these people. Even though she still didn't know them very well. Naruto had that strange air around him, as if he had so much love to give but didn't know how to stifle it down to words and gestures, like everyone else did.

"I didn't think I'd see you again." He backed away, murmuring.

"I can say the same." Sakura chuckled.

He shook his head, looking at her. The joy that previously gushed from his eyes was abated now, almost extinct. The flame was missing and tiredness had taken over it. Sakura gave him a wry smile. He probably didn't sleep, worrying about her and Sasuke.

"You wanna eat with us?" He said, at last. "Kakashi said he wants to tell us something important."

"Sure." Sakura nodded and followed him out of her tent.

* * *

The table was set when she and Naruto entered the dining facility. She wondered whether only the Elite Soldiers had a separate dining room like that or every platoon had one of its own. It was probably a privilege only for the Elite ones because she's heard other platoons just ate their meals in one big canteen, together.

Silence fell as all of those familiar faces turned to meet her approaching form. Her heart rate increased with every second and she was forced to look down as she walked to her chair and sat on it, ignoring the persistent gazes headed her way. Naruto sat next to her and handed her a plate.

"Thank you." Sakura mouthed.

"Glad you're fine, doc." Tenten spouted, breaking the silence.

Sakura looked up at her and found most of the faces around her still fixed on hers.

"Yeah." Temari continued.

"I apologize for the fuss I caused. Thank you for worrying about me." Sakura let out an inconvenient laugh. "And thank you for saving me. I am forever grateful."

"It was only natural to go and look for you." Shikamaru shrugged from the other side of the table. "No big deal."

As the silence extended they ate the dinner in peace and Sakura was grateful to them for being tactful. She was almost certain everyone burned with curiosity and had tons of question they wanted to ask her about her days of absence but no one said a word about it. The atmosphere was calm and cordial – something she missed too.

After a while, quiet conversations replaced the silence and Sakura wondered whether to open a subject in particular but decided not to just because Kakashi showed up and joined them. He looked absolutely drained but the voices ceased abruptly, jaws dropping low because his mask was not covering his face this time. Sakura and Naruto exchanged looks but no one dared speak for a long time. That sight was rare.

"You're late again, " Naruto remarked, at last.

"Yes, I know. I received a phone call and an order."

"Yeah, right." Shikamaru intervened. "You mentioned one of those two a while ago. We're all ears."

Kakashi sighed heavily, eyes nailed to the table. The heaviness in his eyes was discernable, even his slightly stooped posture gave him away. Sakura tensed, preparing for bad news.

"The platoon will return to Konoha for now, that's the order."

The whole group relaxed back, relieved, but Sakura knew that wasn't all.

"And what about Sasuke?" Naruto asked, watching him in the eye.

"They were going to notice that he's missing anyway so I reported what he did before they start yelling at me for not telling them earlier. I didn't tell you the whole truth." Kakashi paused. "Sasuke came to me for permission before leaving and I refused to give him one."

"But he left anyway." Shikamaru raised a brow.

"Yes. He disobeyed me."

"What now? Was the phone call connected with him?"

"Sasuke has been announced a deserter." Kakashi entwined his hands on the table. "He'll be brought to trial when he's back. And if he's lucky he might get only a few months in prison. Konoha's judiciary is known to be merciless when it comes to deserters and rebels so there isn't much hope for a light sentence."

"Couldn't you just…" Naruto leaned on his hand, looking gloomy. "lie to them that you gave him the order to…"

"I tried." Kakashi cut him off. "But they assured me that there will be an interrogation after he's back. If they ask him for the truth, he'll tell the truth."

"I see." Shikamaru sighed. "Lying to the commanders complicates things a lot. You could end up in prison, too. If he made that decision, then he must be ready to take the consequences of it."

Sakura swallowed, eyes on the plate in front of her. In prison? For months? Didn't he know what he was going to bring upon himself with disobeying Kakashi like that? She knew he was determined to unravel the mystery around his brother but was it worth it? There was another way but… a few survived living like that. Running away from the law, living a nomad life – far from authorities and their watchful eye.

Even if you were skilled at hunting and hiding, there were the outer dangers of being attacked by gangs, freezing to death if you find no shelter or even dying from a simple disease because having no access to a medicine of any kind was more than risky. Surrounding the order of the civilization required a serious preparation and a certain type of mindset. Sasuke could pull that off, though. He was one to succeed living like that. But was he going to prefer that life over the prison or would he prefer the prison instead?

"I sent him messages and tried calling him but he never responded. I could dial him until yesterday but now it says that his phone can't be reached." Naruto pouted. "Guess his battery's drained."

"Which means he's nowhere near a city and might be heading towards one." Kakashi took a breath. "Well, no matter. All of you are going back to Konoha in two days."

"You'll stay here."

"I am obliged to. My Second Lieutenant is missing."

With these words, he quit the serious talk and joined them in the dinner but Sakura had a lot on her mind and wanted to talk with him in private but she didn't think she'd get a chance during the dinner. The solution she found was to seek him later.

Her appetite increased much more when she shared the meal with the others. She enjoyed the food as never before, remembering the torturing hunger she experienced just two days ago. The company was an important part, too. Not once she stopped eating, scanning the faces around her. When she came two weeks ago, she wasn't sure whether they accepted her as a part of them but there was no doubt about it now. It was comforting to think about it that way - she had acquired the brothers and sisters she never had.

As her comrades got up and they all started cleaning up, she noticed Kakashi walking away.

"Go." Tenten's voice echoed next to her. "We'll take care of the stuff here."

"Thanks." Sakura turned to smile at her and hurried to catch up with her captain.

"Kakashi, can I talk to you for a moment?" Sakura touched his hand so that she could get his attention. He looked at her at once, met with her apologetic smile. "I know you're tired and… and want to rest." She felt her face a tad warmer when she noticed his vigilant eye set on her lips for a tad more than a second while she spoke. "I don't mean to cause you d-discomfort."

"You can talk to me. It's not a problem." Kakashi sighed. "Come."

* * *

They soon found themselves in front of Kakashi's tent and Sakura was glad to find that it was way warmer inside. The tents of the captains were a tad bigger than the ones medics had but that wasn't one she particularly liked. The smaller the better for her.

Kakashi seemed to prefer order and simplicity, judging by the interior. Everything – from his bed to his desk on the other side was perfectly neat. Clothes, luggage, sheets of paper and various personal belongings, including… some photos. Sakura averted her gaze from them before he could catch her staring.

"What's wrong? Are you alright?"

"Yeah. I just…" Sakura looked down, her cheeks reddening. "This is not about me. I want to… uh, wait until Sasuke returns."

There was a pause in which neither of them moved. Sakura was afraid to look up at him so she kept murmuring under her breath.

"I wondered if there's a loop in the law t-that would make that possible, Captain- "

"Kakashi."

He handed her a small glass filled with something that looked like liquefied amber. She raised her eyes in wonder. Whiskey? _That_ whiskey her comrades didn't stop talking about?

"You are the only one who gets to taste it so make the most of it." Kakashi offered to tinkle his glass with hers, a half-smile on his face. "What shall we drink for?"

Sakura smiled at him and thought for a second before speaking. Her memory flashed back to a certain figure.

"Kindness." She said, thoughtfully.

"Kindness, it is." He tinkled their glasses and they both took a sip.

The first impression she got was that she hardly felt a taste because the alcohol overtook it but then an aftertaste of vanilla and a hint of something else followed…. Almonds? The sip was small but it warmed her pleasantly.

"Wow." Sakura laughed. "The legends were true."

Kakashi gave her a meaning look before heading to the other side of the tent, to hide the bottle.

"Glad you like it. That's all you'll get."

With a smile on her face, she used the time he was with his back to her to examine the photos on his desk from closer. She leaned in and discerned most of the faces. These were all photos of him with his colleagues. There was even one with Naruto, for her great surprise and one that intrigued her the most. It was an old photo of three – a cute girl that laughed in the middle, a black-haired boy to her right and Kakashi himself, to her left. But they were not more than twenty years old.

It seemed like the photo was supposed to be a serious one because they were all in military uniforms but the girl looked amused by her two companions, kissing her cheeks from both sides.

"Do you know where the word whiskey comes from?" Kakashi asked, from the far end.

"No." Sakura turned around and stepped quickly away, embarrassed to notice he was already looking at her.

"Gaelic monks invented the name." He neared her. " _Usquebaugh._ Which translates as _water of life._ "

"Sounds like a convenient excuse an alcoholic would use." Sakura chuckled.

"Or a clever comeback in an argument with a doctor, yeah." Kakashi agreed and stopped next to her, taking another sip. "It's a strong alcohol, though. Strong enough to make you forget about life. Weird name but I could go with that interpretation."

"Kakashi, is what I'm asking for possible?" Sakura insisted, turning them back on the previous subject.

"Well," He sighed. "It is. But I'm not sure if I can oppose if higher ranks find out and make a problem out of it. Your mission is practically over and you're not supposed to stay here anymore. I can allow a maximum of ten days. After that, you _must_ go back to Konoha."

"I know… but thank you, nevertheless." Sakura mumbled, happy with the fact that she's been given a whole week, but when she gathered the courage to look at him, eyes fixed on the photo she was interested in a minute ago.

The pause extended and Sakura wondered if she wasn't intruding already so she gulped down the other mouthful in her glass and left the glass on the desk. A scoff came out of him but she saw that he reached for the photo.

"The situation seems complicated," Sakura commented evenly, unsure whether to use a humorous tone or not.

"It was." Kakashi took a deep breath and exhaled. "She loved him, I – her and he was trying to not lose me as a close friend while kissing the hell out of her in front of me."

Sakura grimaced, imagining the scene.

"Truth was, I knew I had no chance and wanted them to be happy. We knew each other for so long, I didn't even mind them. But then he got shot," Kakashi paused. "Before he died he made me promise I'll take care of her."

Sakura looked up at him with dread.

"Oh, no."

"Yeah. I couldn't do that either." He sighed. "Hope they're at least together now and hope he's not very mad at me."

He returned the picture back on the desk but Sakura was fighting tears. How could someone say all this with a straight face? He seemed absolutely unbothered.

Kakashi put his hands in his pockets but was interrupted by Sakura's gesture. She squeezed her hands under his and tried to hug him but he changed the vibe quickly, raising her chin to press his lips against hers.

Sakura let out her breath in astonishment and backed away, met by his warm smile. The spark in his eyes was different. That wasn't the fatherly, protective gaze he usually wore when his platoon was around, it was a spark of adoration; as if the view brought him joy of some kind. His features were lit up by the sight of her, flustered and utterly confused.

"Apologies… I needed to do that."

"Before?"

"Letting you go." He narrowed eyes. "I've known Sasuke for years. Whenever he targets something, nothing else in the world matters anymore."

Sakura blushed against her will, her eyes fell on the ground. Letting her go?

"I…" She withered at the thought. "… have reasons to believe he might want to cut me off from his life."

Kakashi scoffed.

"Yet you want to wait for him."

Sakura didn't know how to reply, looking at him with her lips parted. Her behavior held no logic, therefore it had no explanation.

"Kakashi, I'm sorry but… I am…"

He raised his hand to stop her.

"It's fine. I understand perfectly. Don't worry."

Sakura furrowed.

It was fair of her to… keep her distance but somehow it didn't feel right to just leave his tent as if nothing happened. He deserved her gratitude, to say the least, and all she did was demand things from him. How cruel was that? But she couldn't reply to that kiss, it was going to be even crueler if she did because her heart was set on another.

"He must be heading for Amegakure." Kakashi broke the silence, startling her. "I think Itachi and his father used to visit the city a lot. Mater-of-fact, Konoha's Police Department chased after quite a lot of criminals but their tracks always faded when they reached the borders of Amegakure. That city's underworld is a nightmare. The criminal network there is thick; the numbers of murders and disappearances are too high." He made a pause, shifting to the other side of the tent once again. "Whether Itachi has been a part of that network or has aimed to destroy it, there must be people who have heard about him there. Sasuke surely knows that."

"I hope his desire to know the truth wouldn't break his heart in the end." Sakura sighed. "It seems to me that his bond with Itachi was very strong. He wouldn't take a betrayal from him lightly."

"That depends on Sasuke." Kakashi pulled out the bottle of whiskey once again and gestured her to come to him. "And what he'll find out. Are you in a hurry?"

"Uh, no," Sakura admitted. Going to her tent was not something she wanted to do right now, that was for sure. Continuing that dreadful report wasn't on her list of wishes for the night.

"Good." Kakashi sighed. "You want more whiskey?"

"Yeah."

Sakura couldn't help but laugh.

"Tell me about your life in the hospital." He suggested. "Then I'll share something with you, whatever you like."

"I'd love to know what happened with that eye of yours, actually." Sakura took her glass and went to him.

Kakashi squinted.

"It's a sad story."

"I'd still love to hear," Sakura whispered with a mirthless expression.

* * *

 _A/N: Thanks for reading and sorry for the delay, at least I passed all six of my exams! Decided to go for a bit of KakaSaku here and also that chapter is like a bridge because I had to have one before the other stuff happen. I hope you liked it. /*whisper* This is not the end of KakaSaku in my fanfic but that's a spoiler./ I'm transferring the POV to Sasuke in the next chapters, just so you know. And there will be at least three with him._

* * *

 _ **Esther-himechan,** thank you for the compliment! I try to get better._

 _ **persequemini de lumine,** thank you!_


	23. Between Two Heartbeats

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in it**

* * *

 **XXIII.**

 **\- Between Two Heartbeats -**

" _So… I'll remove some unnecessary metal from the frame."_

" _Unnecessary? Aren't sniper rifles built with optimal weight or something? I mean, every part is where it has to be."_

" _Not quite." Itachi leaned to him with a mischievous smirk. "There are some parts that we can replace with more useful ones. Semi-automatics are easier to modify anyway."_

 _Sasuke looked at him in a moment of silence before releasing his breath._

" _I don't know what you're talking about."_

" _Explaining won't work." Itachi sighed. "It's best if I show you."_

 _He grabbed the lower middle of the sniper rifle and pulled it but it didn't shift as lightly as he wanted it to. A deep furrow formed on his face, confusion darkening his harmonious features. Sasuke always thought Itachi was the one who had derived the very best from his parents. The handsome bone structure of their father and the aesthetically correct form of his nose, as well as his eyes – from their mother._

 _It would've been a lie if he said he never envied him. But the envy was insignificant next to the admiration he felt for his skills and his manners. Itachi was refinement itself and Sasuke knew he wouldn't reach his level, as much as he tries._

" _There must be another pair of bolts you've missed." Sasuke bent down to check._

" _Yeah." Itachi reached for the screwdriver._

 _He took the frame off the stand and rested it on the solid wood of the working table._

 _The table itself was filled with various woodworking tools, car parts, scattered machinery and many unfinished projects. Sasuke was sure his brother had pushed away another pile of objects at random on his way in. At least that's how it looked from aside._

 _Nevertheless, the garage still kept its cozy atmosphere despite the chaos. It was the only place in the house that had a vaulted wooden roof and portholes instead of normal square windows. His father had the weirdest taste for interior design but he and his brother would still spend hours working on things there, ignoring everything outside these four walls._

" _What are you gonna replace that part with?" Sasuke watched as his brother unscrewed the bolts and disassembled the metallic chassis._

" _This." Itachi handed him a small cube and Sasuke examined it carefully. It wasn't like anything he'd seen before. The material resembled titanium. A light metallic cube with the size of his palm and a soft button on one of the walls. Nothing more._

" _Do I detonate something with this?"_

 _Itachi laughed._

" _No, you don't. It's just a small addition to the weapon. Since it's going in your hands."_

" _What?" Sasuke was astonished._

 _Itachi recollected the cube from his brother's hand and bumped his shoulder._

" _I'm giving it to you. For your birthday."_

" _But it's… yours."_

" _I'll have myself a new one." Itachi calmed him down but found himself smiling at Sasuke's bitter expression. "Manufactured just for me. Ten times better."_

" _So you're practically giving away this one because it's trash and you don't need it anymore." Sasuke recited, squinting at Itachi's smug face._

" _Mmmyeah."_

 _Itachi pursed his lips, trying to keep from laughing out loud._

" _Thanks a lot." Sasuke scoffed dryly._

" _Come on, it's a nice weapon. I just need to fix a few things."_

" _Itachi? Sasuke?" A high-pitched voice yelled in the distance. They could discern that voice everywhere. There was a menace approaching._

 _The brothers glanced at each other and started tidying up in a split second._

" _Pass me the blanket over there. Quickly." Itachi took it from Sasuke and covered the whole table in time._

" _Where are you-" A slender, black-haired woman entered abruptly and stopped at the threshold, looking at her sons with a sore expression. It couldn't erase her striking beauty, though, despite that she wasn't in her youth. Proud forehead, dark eyes, and high cheekbones – she was as good as a royalty. She even had the habit of wearing dresses at home_ _._ _The_ _one she wore now was a rich burgundy and had a silk ribbon enveloping the waistline._

 _She crossed her arms and leaned on the doorframe. Although they made their best to hide what's behind them, they knew nothing could be truly hidden from her keen eyes._

" _Your father forbid army-related activities and conversations while you're in the house." Her voice was completely even._

" _I know, mother." Itachi declared right away._

 _Sasuke never talked in those kinds of inner-family arguments. As he thought about the reason for that, it was probably because he always stood behind his brother and hid while Itachi took the impact of whatever they have done. Itachi was brave enough to both take all the blame upon himself and stand against their mother's wrath and father's_ _punishments. Sasuke wasn't sure why his brother did that but he never questioned it before, overly content with his own invincibility. Whenever he messed up, Itachi was there to clean up the mess and it was not until recently when he realized how grateful he is for that._

" _I'll shut my eyes to this. Only this time."_

 _Silence fell over as Itachi and Sasuke stood still and pasted to one another, still comically close and completely aware that their mother saw right through their façade. Any other day Mikoto would've enjoyed the view but now she stood like a dark cloud and pierced them with her steady and, in Sasuke's humble opinion, fearsome gaze._

" _Who broke my grandma's tea set?"_

 _Sasuke took a breath but Itachi spoke right away, giving his brother no time to do so._

" _I broke it."_

" _You know how much it meant to me, don't you?"_

" _Yes, and I'm very sorry, mother."_

 _She stepped back and reached for the handle._

" _You better be." Mikoto eyed Sasuke from head to toe and slammed the door shut._

 _Itachi released his breath, low laughter shaking his whole body._

" _I had a strong adrenaline rush right there. Pretty sure her grandma was a secret member of the Inquisition and it just runs in the blood. "_

" _I can hear you, boy!" Mikoto's thunderous voice echoed from outside and Itachi froze, eyes widening. "I'll tell your father about what you're doing in his garage!"_

 _"I'm screwed."_ _Itachi murmured and uncovered the sheet in a dramatic way. "Let's continue."_

 _Sasuke shook his head, a smile creeping on his lips._

" _Uh…" He glanced at the door. "Thank you for that."_

" _Don't mention it." Itachi bent over and narrowed eyes at the part he just wrested out of the rifle's frame. "What are brothers for, right?"_

* * *

Wind. He hated wind. It was harder to aim without it anyway. His finger gently slipped through the trigger hole and pressed it backwards with the slowest movement but released it once again. His target shifted way too much and way too often. That hare was his chance to have a dinner and losing it from sight was out of the question. He changed his course, going deeper into the wood only to find something to eat but it wasn't as easy as it sounded.

Ten long minutes passed since he kneeled next to that tree and followed the hare's indefinite movements. Ten more and his fingers would start numbing. It was the late afternoon and heavy dusk quickly covered the wood but the lack of light wasn't the problem - the thermal lens attached to the scope helped him discern any living form around him. The problem was the drop in temperature. He needn't a device to know, it started snowing a while ago.

With only that cloak on, he could barely make it another night. Having a fire or not. The city was probably close but heavily guarded from all sides and at all entrances. He still had no plan of how to get through. But planning could wait. Dinner was of prime importance.

His thoughts stilled on the hare again as it chewed on a blade of grass. The reticle was zeroed on it perfectly. What an ancient scope. He never replaced it with a new one… perhaps he should've. Anyway, that wind was against him today. Twenty-two miles per hour, according to his miniature anemometer. At least his target was a hundred yards away. Not that far.

Sasuke exhaled slowly.

Firing between two heartbeats.

That was his accuracy secret in sniping. It was a strange moment, every time he tried to freeze time and space just to hear his heartbeat. It was slow and rhythmical, like a second's hand in a complicated clockwork. Once. Twice. His finger pulled the trigger, outstripping the third. The shrill and loud sound echoed in the vast space of that meadow, disturbing the silence of the forest. The hare was dead, at last. He stood up, loosening the tight hold of the sling around his right arm and shifted the rifle on his back.

Good. Now to light a fire and skin that animal. At least his lighter still worked and the first thing wasn't an issue. The second, though, was going to be messy. He had to choose whether he wanted to stride further away from the asphalt and find a watercourse or something of the sort or stick closer to the road and not lose more time.

He went to pick up the hare and stopped for a second, looking up. The skies were a thick, hazy grey and the snow fell in big flakes. Not only that he needed a source of water but a shelter from the wind, too. Perhaps it was better to go deeper into the forest after all.

Fortunately, he did find a gorge not very far from the meadow he crossed and used the brook's stream to skin the hare. The moment he pulled out the knife his thoughts returned to the very subject he tried to avoid. It was hard to do so when the knife in his hands reminded him of the dead-end he was currently in the middle of. Itachi… How can someone like Itachi be a traitor? He couldn't even imagine that. All those years he knew him to be a man of principles. Even if he switched sides, he must've had a serious reason for it.

The running water beneath him painted in red with the blood of the animal and he paused for a short second, distracted by the color. Did everything he touched had to paint red?

The broke itself had carved a pathway between two cliffs and it was easy to find a sheltered place at the foot of one of the many stooping, mossed rocks. He hurried to spark a flame onto the still dry leaves and twigs he gathered on his way. If that snow kept falling through the whole night, everything was going to soak wet. Which meant he had to move quickly.

At least the hare was delicious. And the soil underneath him was not moist and he could sit on it. His eyes sank into the dancing flames in front of him. The sight of fire had always allured and fascinated him. He used to spend hours in front of the fireplace in his house. The fire was a dangerous and destructive force, one that possessed a kind of mysticism within. He wondered what would it be like to able to control that force at your will. No one that has played with fire has ended up the same as before, though. Likely, tragic fate was destined for those like him, bold enough to wish for such a power.

Sasuke ate silently, contemplating the serene view. Entering Amegakure was not an easy matter if you carried a sniper rifle on your back. He was sure Konoha has announced him a deserter already and showing up in front of police forces wasn't wise, especially when it was about entering a populated industrial center as that city. Something like a sixth sense told him he'd find answers there. Uchiha had some connections with the city's Police Department but if passing through the Border Police bothered him what was left of the Department itself. He couldn't just barge in and ask for information, not after he disobeyed an order and was aware Konoha's Government would try to find and punish him soon enough.

He leaned back on the cold stone with a sigh, taking a good look at his rifle. Searching for information about his brother was secondary. First, he had to get through the heavily guarded border somehow. Perhaps trying to get into the city with the help of someone was the way to go. He could use a lift or something… the thought made almost made him scoff. Falling so low was never in his plans but knowing Amegakure's fame, perhaps entering the city illegally wasn't going to be that hard, with all kinds of people with unknown past and of suspicious character crossing the border daily. Insane or not, he had to try.

Hands squeezing the weapon, Sasuke tried to set himself in a better position to rest but it was getting too cold. Was it even a good idea to fall asleep? Whenever he closed his eyes, doubts started corroding him and dread crawling underneath his skin. The countless question began gnawing at him until his head ached and until nausea didn't appear in his stomach. What did Itachi do? Why would he work for such a wretched man? Did he work for him willingly? Fear clenched his chest with a vice when he went further.

What if it was all a lie? If Itachi never loved him, if he's been a spy for years? Fugaku had many enemies and what better way to study him than his own son in the matter, the one who shared the same roof? What if Itachi was responsible for their parents' death? And what did it even matter, Itachi was dead now, too. Leaving him all alone. A profound sadness settled in Sasuke's heart when he realized his brother would no longer be there for him to hide behind. But now it was a pain in a pure form that festered his very soul because the one he thought closest could be a traitor and a murderer.

That was one sick joke. Sasuke was angry that some never had to fight a tenth of the battles he fought. It drove him wild that some never tasted the bitterness of loss and the disappointment of betrayal. And there he was. If God hated him that much, he wondered what he was still doing on that damned earth. It's not like he didn't try to end his miserable existence, though. But then…

Sasuke looked up at the dark sky, snowflakes now fell from it peacefully; the wind had abated.

But then an angel came and distracted him. And he was so furious that such a tiny human could change his plans like that. It wasn't worth it anymore. Living life as it was for him then. But those sorrowful, tender eyes were branded on his mind and reminded him of what life could be. Then, in his rage, he decided she didn't deserve her happiness. He saw supreme insolence in her attempts to prove she understood him. He grabbed from her, stole from her in handfuls until he didn't wake beside her the last time, realizing that she was still there, embracing him in the most loving way, despite his cruelty. It was then when he knew he could bring her only pain and she did not deserve pain. So he was to hurt her no more.

He sighed, closing his eyes.

It was better that way.

* * *

Sasuke snapped his eyes open at the sound of wood cracking. His concern soon evaporated when he noticed it was a deer that quickly fled after he shifted uncomfortably. It was around dawn so he must've dozed off for a couple of hours. No wonder his limbs felt so numb. Thin rime covered the surroundings with a beautiful luster but the air was nipping cold, especially with that fire of his currently in the form of steaming ashes.

Wasting no time, he headed for the road.

It took him about an hour to reach the highway, west of his position. A light fog had covered the plain where the road meandered and quickly got lost from sight. It was a rare occurrence, to see any kind of vehicle at this time of the day but he was certain he'd find a way to enter the city without much of a fuss. He hid his rifle under the cloak right after he got on the road but no living soul disturbed the silence.

The highway seemed infinite but he knew the city was near because there was a buzzing, distant noise he caught. The civilization was close. Cars and trucks appeared more often and it wasn't a wonder that there was someone that turned off the road, after all, stopping in his way. It was a grey minivan. Alright, suspicious enough to get him through the border. That whole idea was ridiculous but he saw no other way. Entering Amegakure on foot was impossible, giving the fact that he was against the law and carrying a rifle and a gun. And some other things.

"Good morning, sir." The man greeted once Sasuke got closer. It was a hoarse, low wheeze rather than a voice and it somehow echoed unpleasantly in the silence.

"Good morning," Sasuke replied, still refusing to take his dark hood off.

"Quite unusual. A lonely wayfarer on the road at eight in the morning." The man paused. "Your car's out of fuel?"

Interesting. The tone in which he offered the scenario was ambiguous. It sounded like a password or a way to check the person's intentions.

"What if it is?" Sasuke slowly revealed his face and noticed the man squinting at the sight, almost as a convulsion.

There was this glint in his poisonous green eyes, a glint of wildness. Everything else about him appeared in the norm. The same pale, worn-out face everyone shared in the last years. He leaned on the wheel, the corners of his mouth up in a smirk. His gaze quickly estimated and returned back to Sasuke's eyes.

"Are you headed to Amegakure?"

"Yes." Sasuke was a tad concerned that he didn't ask important questions but kept avoiding them instead. "I can pay you."

"Oh?" The man almost laughed, looking ahead for a moment. "Alright then. Get in."

Sasuke could feel that the man was somewhat interested in him but wasn't sure why. He opened the door and took the seat.

"I… don't want money." The man narrowed eyes. "I'm interested in another kind of payment."

"I'm listening."

The man looked at Sasuke thoughtfully for a while, then offered a hand.

"Let me first introduce myself so that it won't sound weird to you. Orochimaru."

"Sasuke." It was better to not let anyone know his surname for now.

Sasuke shook his hand.

"I am a doctor," Orochimaru explained slowly. "Have my own clinic. Which is why the payment I request is a blood sample."

Well, could explain why he cut off the way of strangers in the middle of the road. But that was one hell of a request. What were the chances of him getting into Amegakure if he refused to that one, though? The air around this guy was pretty tensed and he didn't like him in the least but that was another matter. Blood sample, it is.

"Agreed." Sasuke closed the door. "What proof do I have you're even a real doctor?"

Orochimaru pulled out his wallet and a small business card. Didn't look fake. But that was Amegakure. The illegal institutions were probably more than the legal ones.

"Do you always pick random people from the road?" Sasuke asked once they set off.

"I do, actually." Orochimaru was smiling again. "And I never take money."

A clinic, huh? Sasuke wasn't sure whether it was a good idea to hide his weapons under the cloak but under no circumstances was he to part with them.

They were silent for the rest of the ride and it got Sasuke wondering. If he didn't ask anything then he did not care to know, right? And if he did not care to know, then he was either a criminal and a liar himself or… personalities weren't important for him and he targeted at random, leaving no tracks afterward. Sasuke was tempted to test his authenticity and dare him to show his medical knowledge, if he had any. But the thought passed quickly, they reached the eastern gates, supposedly one of the four main entrances.

As Sasuke suspected, the entrance was like a fortress, two pairs of barriers on the way in and out, at least dozen policemen outside and dozen more inside the border checkpoints. No way was he going to get in unnoticed. The stone wall was eight... if not ten meters high and wired on top.

"Purpose of staying in the city?" The flat voice of the officer dragged his attention.

"I am a doctor." Orochimaru handed him a pile of documents and waited, with the content smile still on his face.

Sasuke prayed that guy was convincing enough because if they requested a search through him or through the car, things were going to get complicated.

The officer switched the documents, reading through them absently. His eyed raised up to scan the driver and then his passenger.

"Who is the person with you?"

"A business partner." Orochimaru paused. "We're working on a project together."

Lying to a police officer. How desperate was he to get his sample?

"Is that right?" The officer was not convinced and they were stepping on a thin line now.

Mind games. He loved them too much. Time to jump into a role.

"Bismuth Nanoparticles." Sasuke clarified, trying to hide the amusement that threatened to ruin his calm façade. That officer was more than confused. "We believe there's a way to cure cancer tumors by using the pentavalent post-transition metal in the radiotherapy."

The furrow on the officer's face deepened but Orochimaru turned to look at him, curiosity in his eyes.

"Good. You can pass." The officer returned the documents and waved at his colleague to raise the barrier. "Good luck with the project."

Orochimaru nodded and drove further, closing his window.

"Very well acquainted with medicine, I see." He spoke indefinitely, once they entered the city.

"I wouldn't say _very well_ but I am interested in various things." Sasuke narrowed eyes, scanning the streets as they slid deeper into the city. There was a tension that he thought would disappear when he's finally in but it didn't. "And I have a good memory."

Amegakure was a dark place. Looming, tall buildings and shadowy alleys. It was muddy and the smog – visible in between the heavy concrete walls of the countless business centers. Whoever of the pedestrians his eyes fell on had a mask on. The air was sure a couple of times more polluted than the one in Konoha. There was something intimidating about those grey skyscrapers, too, it made him feel slightly claustrophobic… and small.

"We're almost there," Orochimaru announced.

The car stopped, to Sasuke's great surprise, in front of a rather fancy edifice. Curious, he wasn't lying about the clinic. Still, with every passing minute, his trust to that man faded but he had an agreement. He followed Orochimaru into the building. Judging from the perfectly clean glass doors, sterile floor and the few civilians he certained the clinic was a private one. He knew expensive when he saw it.

"Another one, doctor?" A nurse came from a door, handing a white overall and a smile.

"Another one." Orochimaru put it on and gestured at Sasuke to follow him.

 _Leave this place immediately._ Sasuke repeated the thought in his mind. Nothing seemed out of place but everything was wrong at the same time. Too perfect, the nurses were too perfect, the staff was too perfect, the civilians too calm. And that awful scent of disinfectants, he couldn't stand it. The darkness of his own presence was like a stain on the background of blinding light and predominating white colors. He didn't belong there at all.

Orochimaru led him into an office, seemingly his own.

"What's with the blood samples? Is that a hobby?" Sasuke remained by the door which he purposefully left ajar.

"The word _hobby_ sounds too careless, don't you think? It would make me look like a street vendor." Orochimaru rummaged through the shelves and continued through the cabinets behind him. "I prefer the word _research_. It fits better what I'm doing in this clinic."

Sasuke scanned his office quickly. There was a thin layer… of dust covering most of the documents. His hand slipped over his gun. Dust? When was the last time someone entered this place? Someone clicked shut the door behind him from the other side and he startled, looking back at it.

"People come to me with different diseases," Orochimaru spoke again, forcing Sasuke to face him. "Ones that all those great minds working for the military have come up with. You know, artificial viruses, bioweapons, clever explosives, those things. And these people ask me to help them. I try to find ways. I don't always succeed but when I do…" He sighed. "Everybody wins, so to say."

"Let me guess, the cures you sell cost millions." Sasuke tensed when Orochimaru neared him with a needle in his hand.

"I get the feeling you want to shoot me since the moment we met." Orochimaru chuckled hollowly.

Sasuke squinted. Was he that obvious?

"I know a soldier when I see one. This hub is empty. Can I?" Orochimaru showed the syringe to him, assuring him there was nothing to be worried about.

It didn't look worrisome. But his stomach was still tied in a knot. Eyes fixed on the ones in front of him, Sasuke felt as if he was looking at his greatest mistake. That viridian, predatory gaze boded ill and promised trouble but there was nothing he could do about it. There was nothing he could accuse that man in. His demeanor was immaculate.

"I'm free to leave after that?" Sasuke glanced down at the needle for a second.

"Such was the arrangement," Orochimaru smirked.

Well, dammit. Perhaps it was all in his head. The guy was probably honest. Sudden closings of doors were generally creepy, though. Was that a common thing here? He pulled the sleeve of his right hand and offered it. Orochimaru carefully found his vein and extracted a small quantity of his blood, pulling the needle again.

"Good." He breathed out, fixed on the blood with way too much excitement. "Very good."

That sly spark in his eyes… Sasuke fixed his sleeve and stepped aside as Orochimaru reached for the handle and gestured him out with his free hand.

"That was all, thank you."

Sasuke locked his eyes with him for the last time before leaving abruptly. But halfway through the corridor dizziness hit him right in the head and he exhaled sharply, leaning on the wall. A smile appeared on his face at the overly unpleasant shiver that ran through him.

Of course. He was right all along. A convenient move for a psychopath. Everyone in this bloody city was deranged but there was always someone like him to fall into the trap. He slipped down on his knees, the air not enough for him to function properly. His heart was racing at an immeasurable speed and yet he was losing… consciousness, his vision doubled and tripled. Dying here and now was not an option, he needed to find… the truth about Itachi.

"I said the hub is empty. Missed to mention the needle is infected." Orochimaru neared him at a slow pace, looking down with general curiosity. "You don't pay attention, soldier."

He cursed himself for being so stupid but it was of no use – his body refused to listen to him and struggled for oxygen.

"Move him to the operating room. Take off his weapons first."

No. Not the rifle…

 _"Such a fine specimen."_ Orochimaru's raspy voice reached him in the distance as he sank deeper and deeper until he barely heard it. _"It would've been a shame to just let it go."_

* * *

 _A/N: Thanks for reading, loves! I warned there will be a slight KakaSaku in chapter 1 so I'm not sure how to take some weird comments I received about it. I'm saying this with no bad feelings – if you don't like the story don't read it. I have a detailed plan I follow for this fanfic, it involves KakaSaku as well. I'm not that good of a writer but I try and I don't usually change my fic plan, sorry. Anyway, hope I kept Sasuke in-character. I also chose Amegakure because it fit my AU so well. See you next time with some strapped-to-a-chair Sasuke and psycho!Orochimaru lol Sounds wrong but I promise it's not that wrong._

 _ **04/3/2018 update** \- Guys, I have to apologize for the delay. My computer crashed in a bad way and I lost all of my files and documents. I'll need some time to rewrite some stuff, rewrite my plan and get over the mental breakdown. Kinda sucks to lose everything but I am determined to finish this **someday.** I could use your patience. Thank you._

* * *

 _ **persequemini de lumine,**_ _thank you for the support. I appreciate it!_

 _ **Esther-himechan,**_ _you don't know how happy you make me with using that word. 'Beautiful' is all I've ever wanted to hear for the things I write._

 _ **HollyNinetales,**_ _thank you for being excited, I hope the next chapters are interesting to you._

 _ **MileHigh94,**_ _thank you for the kind words. Seems like not many like KakaSaku but I think it's a nice ship haha. Hope you like the Sasuke POV._

 _Well,_ _ **Tipu940,**_ _I am a slow writer and I go to university. Please do try to cope with me somehow. Thank you for the reviews!_

 _ **Guest(2),**_ _I'm glad there are people who like KakaSaku. Thanks for leaving a review._

 _ **Ana,**_ _hello again and thanks for the multiple reviews at once! I understand your boredom with university perfectly lol. I feared people might be ? concerning Akatsuki's capture but it's not meaningless, I'll explain further. For your other questions, Konan noted that just because I wanted a woman-like comment from her. She's just observing and that was her conclusion. Sasuke is not in Akatsuki as you saw in this particular chapter; Sakura escaped on her own after Pain decided he doesn't want to kill her. Her logic beat his on a moral level and he acknowledged her victory that way. As for Kakashi's comment, he just wanted to open the subject on Itachi being a special figure as in "he's someone that many people would be interested in" but at the same time he wanted to calm Sakura down and assure her Sasuke will be fine. Sakura will be with Kakashi but I am focusing on Sasuke now. You'll see._


	24. Mind Control

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in it.**

* * *

 **XXIV.**

 **\- Mind Control -**

Many voices buzzed inside and outside his head, his focus was blurred. The colors he first saw were sharp and unpleasant. White and black reiterated with a blinding light that irritated him. Forms were moving around him, circling and whispering for what seemed like hours. He desperately wanted to emerge on top of that nauseating state and made an attempt to pull himself out, succeeding after a couple of tiring attempts.

The smell of disinfectants was now mingled with something else, something heavy that he couldn't discern. Still, it was almost painful to his senses. The focus of his eyes cleared up a tad and his attention was drawn by the place he was currently in – a cabinet that fairly resembled a dentist's room but this one was heavily equipped and it wasn't as neat or clean. Grey walls and white cupboards filled with vials, syringes, and devices he had never seen before.

"I have a question for you," Orochimaru spoke out and nailed his attention. "How do you feel?"

How did he feel? Weird. He couldn't quite move, although nothing kept him from doing so. And there was this thick haze that embraced his mind, creating the feeling of lightness and ease; as if it was afloat. It felt surprisingly nice.

"Sasuke. How do you feel?"

"I am alright." He heard himself form the words, eyes stilled on the man in front of him.

"Do you want to leave?"

Leave? If he left, he was going to lose that nice feeling. No… please don't let it end.

"I wouldn't… I wouldn't."

 _What?_

What was that?

"That's right. Perfect." Orochimaru clapped hands. "Will you obey me, Sasuke?"

"Yes."

Orochimaru looked at his side for a moment and Sasuke followed his gaze, noticing the presence of the other people in the room. He couldn't quite tell how many because the door was somewhere behind him and he heard more voices coming from another room. There was a man in big round glasses next to them, he held a notebook and observed silently.

"Everything I want?"

"Everything you want."

An excited murmur surrounded him but he felt something like panic raising inside of him. Something wasn't quite right but he couldn't reach the problem. Was there even a problem?

"Good work, doctor. " The man with the glasses spoke excitedly. "We finally made it."

"There's only the final trial."

"It's always the final trial that everything fails." Another voice intervened but Sasuke couldn't see.

"Quiet, please. Now. The turning point." Orochimaru narrowed eyes. "Sasuke, what's your weakness?"

"I don't have a weakness."

"Everyone has a weakness. If they didn't, this project would've been a success long ago. What is your weakness?"

"I don't-" His voice was cut off by Orochimaru's snap of fingers.

"Search your mind and find me your weakness. What do you love the most?"

Love? He had to call upon his mind images and scenes that he had tried to bury for so many years. And the pain that they carried was what rent the fog of his sanity. Flashes of laughter and… warmth. It's spring and they are all there. Who were these people?

"Love… the most…" Sasuke repeated slowly. "It…achi."

A brief silence fell in the room after his answer. Then slowly the floating feeling started to leave him, leaving a gaping soreness. The change scared him and he stirred, his fists clenched with the struggle to return back to the pleasant sensation.

"Strap him," Orochimaru ordered. "Quickly."

Itachi? Who was Itachi?

"No good, the drug's wearing off. Give him more. There was a muscle convulsion. Write it down, Kabuto." Orochimaru took a breath. "Itachi Uchiha. I knew you looked familiar."

Uchiha? I am…

"Now, Sasuke, remember my words very carefully. Everyone you love is gone. You don't need to worry about those people anymore. I can grant you a new life. A life through my prism. I'll have your body under my command and you won't feel any of that pain or regret or doubt anymore."

"Alright."

Orochimaru narrowed eyes.

"You agree?"

"Yes."

The pause extended as both of them looked at each other.

"That young… a brother, isn't it? As if those vermin weren't enough and now there's another one. But that's not necessarily a bad thing." Orochimaru retreated to the next room and joined his assistants.

Sasuke could only hear different words from their following conversation but they didn't sound particularly appealing. In fact, the whole setting suddenly appeared disgusting and he couldn't believe he hadn't noticed that before.

" …same genes… could… perfect...

"weapon… minds… spectacular…"

A brother. Yes... How could he forget? Not just a brother… _his_ brother. What was he still even doing here? He was wasting time. Those belts were pretty uncomfortable and tight. Mind control, huh? Nice try.

"Hmm…" Orochimaru neared him again, wearing a thoughtful expression. "Did it work? I am not sure."

He leaned in, taking a close look at Sasuke's eyes for a moment. The latter was fully aware he had to act as if nothing changed but it was getting harder and harder, with Orochimaru staring at his eyes from so close.

"I'm not sure…." Orochimaru repeated. "This is the point where they usually start stirring, screaming and trying to break out but our soldier here is still and quiet. Perhaps we broke him." He reached for something out of his peripheral sight, positively a syringe.

"A success?" Kabuto marveled.

"Possibly. However, I am not taking the risk."

Sasuke forced himself to remain intact while Orochimaru infused his blood with something that didn't feel nice at all. Drowsiness spread through his veins and poisoned him. No… he had to hold onto his common sense and dominate. If he missed his chance everything would be forever lost.

"Will you obey my orders strictly, Sasuke Uchiha?"

Sasuke nearly forgot he had to put an act and his reply was slowed down with a second.

"I will."

"Let's make a small experiment," Orochimaru smirked, reaching for the scalpel laying on the operating table. He then slowly unstrapped the belt that held his left hand to the chair. "Test your obedience."

"Doctor Yashagoro?" Kabuto asked, with concern.

Orochimaru placed the scalpel in his palm and closed it, stepping back.

"Sasuke, I want you to cut through the skin of your right hand." He ordered. "Along the vein."

What a sick mind. But it couldn't be helped, he had to win himself more time. Even if he used the scalpel to cut through the belts of his other limbs, he needed more time than he'd have if Orochimaru and the others were so close. They had access to various ways to stop him and outnumbered him. Three? Or four? His vision was way out of focus.

That damned drug was messing with his mind but he had gripped the thought of Itachi being his brother and refused to let it get lost in the sea of this awful serenity he had sunk in before. It was like a strong sleeping pill and it dragged him down like an anchor.

Only if he had a little more distance. Three yards was all he wished for. Orochimaru was the only one close and he couldn't afford to blow his cover now. Dammit. He needed to get out of this place and find his weapons as fast as he could.

The stinging pain cleared his mind a tad, it wasn't that bad to have a constant source of pain like that, in fact, but it could slow him down or worsen his fighting. The warmth slid down his skin as he cut through it and made his best to not give out the rising discomfort that caused him. What kind of a soldier would not endure such an insignificant difficulty? The surprising element was that he's never had the chance to damage himself before. It was a little harder than he imagined. Every cell within screamed at him to stop but he didn't. He was already shaking as he reached the upper part of his arm when Orochimaru laughed.

"That's enough." He said, stepping to take the scalpel from his left hand. "Do you see, ladies and gentlemen? Our first human weapon is ready."

"We still have some major problems." The one in the front spoke. "How long will that serum last?"

He turned to his assistants, completely ignoring Sasuke's presence and that's when he knew he had to move.

Unstrapping himself took him around five seconds and that was all he needed. Orochimaru was taken down easily since he was with his back to him but he had to put more effort in fighting off the others. They seemed unexpectedly skilled in fighting, endured a minute or two… more than he expected. They were four, with Orochimaru, but he easily brought them down, leaving the man with the glasses last.

He grabbed the scalpel and bent just in time to dodge a fist intended for him, plunging the instrument in his attacker's foot. Kabuto groaned in pain but was distracted enough to find himself pressed against the wall.

"Make a single move and I'll step on that scalpel's handle."

"What do you want?" Kabuto breathed out heavily.

"Where are my weapons?"

"The second door to the right, once you reach the corridor." Kabuto tensed when he searched through his pockets and grabbed his phone.

"I'll take that."

Sasuke released him and dashed into the next room, searching for the door that will lead him out. He quickly found it and was met by pairs of curious eyes. Two nurses were just passing through but did nothing to stop him, moving aside. A wise choice, he thought as he made his way into the room in particular.

He wasn't prepared for the view when he entered. The room was something like a storage and contained various objects, including his weapons and cloak. What dragged his attention was the large cage that was taking the central place of the room. A girl and a boy were locked inside and startled when he entered the room. He was suddenly so disgusted with Orochimaru that he was struck by the urge to go back and kill the bastard. How could he kidnap children? Those two looked completely fine for now but judging from their clothes he knew right away they were paupers or homeless.

They looked at him in silence as he quickly thought whether it was a good idea to take them with him. That was absurd, he couldn't free them now, not with all those people chasing after him… He reached for his cloak and quickly equipped his weapons.

"Help us, mister." The tiny voice of the girl made him face her.

"I can't…" He didn't finish but instead went to them and kneeled next to her. He was about to speak out the words in his head but they stuck there for a moment of faze. Her eyes were a light moss green. Big, round green. The moment passed and he came back to his senses. "I'll help you. I promise. But you have to wait here for a while."

"Don't leave us."

"I have to. I give you my word, you'll be out of here in an hour." Sasuke stood up.

"Are you lying? Grown-ups always lie."

"No." He furrowed, slightly offended. "I have to go. The police will come soon."

"The police? Did you call the police?" The boy asked, curiosity sparkling in his eyes.

"Not yet. On my way." Sasuke stepped away from them.

"We believe you, mister." The girl smiled at him and he held his eyes on her before leaving at a fast pace.

Men in white overalls were headed his way in the second he found himself in the vast corridor but he pulled out his gun and fired at the nearby fire-extinguisher, using its thick fog to disappear unnoticed. Those corridors were countless… perhaps he was on another level. Fortunately, there were signs here and there.

Sasuke stopped at one of the corners and pulled out Kabuto's phone, calling the police. He used his shoulder to hold the phone close to his ear while reloading his gun.

"Amegakure Emergency line, what's the problem?"

"Human experiments and kidnapped children. It's a private clinic," Sasuke thought for a way to describe his position; palm pressing the magazine into the gun. "Does the name Yashagoro speak anything to you?"

"Yes." There was a brief pause. Sasuke assumed they didn't expect that name to be connected with such crimes. "Which unit? The southern or the eastern?"

"Southern."

"We're sending teams right away. Can I have a name, sir?"

Sasuke peeked over his shoulder but regretted it immediately, an unpleasant sensation hitting him at waves.

"There you are," Orochimaru announced, walking his way. "You left so abruptly. My head still hurts."

"Sir?" The man in the speaker still waited.

"Uchiha." Sasuke snapped. "Better hurry."

He hung up, retreating, but those sensations didn't stop. It wasn't the gash on his hand. Wasn't the drug in his veins, either. That was somewhat subtle and sour and it made him want to tear his skin apart. Spasms surged through him and he almost lost his balance, trying to back away. What was that?

"Do you think you can escape this place so easily? Wounded and infused with my serum. You'll suffer the symptoms of it for years to come, for a start. How do you plan to oppose to that now?"

He couldn't understand where those shivers came from. It was either high frequencies or… low ones. Low frequencies that were low enough to damage, dazzle or even paralyze him. Low enough to pass through walls. It was infrasound, then. The throbbing in his head carved out a groan from him. That many attacks at once he wasn't used to receiving. The physical pain he ignored a long time ago, trained to do so, but that drug messed him up big time. However, fighting a sonic weapon was like fighting wind – you just don't.

It was a torture in a pure form, trying to function with those waves pointed at him. Resembled a two-sided vice that clamped him mercilessly, with its strength only enlarging minutely.

He was on all fours soon, hearing the fuss behind him, and the approaching of Orochimaru. Those obnoxious, heeled brogues he wore just added up more to his disgust with that sound they gave out when he walked. Chic and madness always seemed to work together.

"Give in, boy, and I'll ease your suffering. You're not supposed to fight those chemicals, you're supposed to embrace them. Don't make me end you, not when I was so close to a success."

"Stay away from me, freak." Sasuke grinded his teeth, aware that his powers were leaving him with every movement he made.

The corridors all looked the same, the room too. What was the way out of this maze? Would he be able to see an exit in this state? His vision was badly blurred.

"At least you're a man of your word. Did your part of our deal, I give you that." Orochimaru sighed. "But you can't fight this."

"Like I'll lose to the likes of you." Sasuke murmured to himself, crawling his way to the nearest wall, to try and get on his feet. He needed to get on his feet for that.

"What are you doing?" Orochimaru neared him and twisted his wounded hand, wresting another groan from him. "Stay on the ground."

Sasuke cursed him and used his remaining energy to hook his feet and bring him down to his level. Ok, that was gonna be hard… he admitted it to himself. His idea's insanity level was higher than the usual. He pulled out his gun and used the handle to crush the sonic device in Orochimaru's hand. At last, that dreadful nausea and disorientation ceased. He could breathe freely now.

"I don't like solving problems," Orochimaru bashed him with so hard that he found himself laying on the ground in a moment of a strong daze. He recognized the taste of blood in his mouth but couldn't afford to give up. "Using fists. But if you prefer them…"

Sasuke heaved up and struck him as a reply, in a hurry to clinch his hands while he still could and lower the hammer of the gun, putting the barrel on his forehead.

"Don't move." His voice came out wheezy as he took heavy sips of air.

Orochimaru had frozen every nerve in his body and stared up at him.

"What do you know about my brother?"

Orochimaru squinted, feeling Sasuke's hold quickly weakening, hands shaking uncontrollably. Sasuke knew his state wasn't first rate and that complicated things a lot. Aim. Accuracy. An arc minute more and he could miss. It was a shot for a sober day and he knew the odds weren't in his favor – his body betrayed him in every possible way, his vision was still out of focus.

"Nothing good. He tried to ruin my business, like you." Orochimaru slowly licked the blood on his lip. "I only met him once and he didn't hesitate to kill some of my men… unlike you." He smirked again. "Which is why I doubt you're going to shoot me."

Sasuke cursed himself mentally for not being able to steady his gun enough to be certain… A group of men and women, apparently working in the clinic, have gathered and watched the scene with horror. There was fear in their eyes but he wasn't sure whether it came out of the fact that their boss was laying on the ground with a gun upon his head or because he, himself, looked dangerous enough for them to stay away and fear what it is to come, concerning their own lives.

"You don't have it in you. That innate bloodthirst." Orochimaru's voice became tired. "But you can muster up a good imitation of it."

Sasuke's heart was racing and he blinked, trying to see better. Perhaps holding his breath could help with the precision.

"What's wrong, aren't you going to say something?" Orochimaru was surprised by his lack of response.

Alright, he had to give it a try, no matter the consequences.

"You're not paying attention, doctor." Sasuke sighed, already feeling drained. "I don't like talking much."

He squeezed the gun and shot, the echo ringing loudly in the corridor. There was a flash of thick silence afterward, everyone stared at Orochimaru in disbelief as he laid motionless and the vital fluid slowly pooled around his head.

Sasuke hesitated for a moment before leaning to check… still breathing. Good.

With a slow movement, he tucked away his gun and used the wall to get up on his feet under everyone's gazes.

"How could he…" A woman gasped, followed by the voices if the others, as shocked as her.

"He's not dead." Sasuke groaned in exasperation. Really? Was it his fault that they were so ignorant? "The bullet went between the two hemispheres. He's in a coma." He turned around and limped to the end of the corridor. There was something green on that sign but he couldn't discern the lines of his own palm, what was left of signs.

The astonishment from his reply spread across the corridor, silence replacing the noise of shock and disapproval once again. Sasuke didn't look back, too busy furrowing at the sudden thought that appeared in his head. The Police were coming this way… going out through any front or back door was going to get him caught. He wasn't up for interrogation. In the way the situation looked from aside, they could send him straight behind the bars and he couldn't afford that. Not before he knew the truth of his brother's identity. Still, he had no luck for now.

Where could he go?

Front and back were a bad idea, up was impossible. Then, the only option was... down. Every new building had access to the sewers. A distant memory emerged in his dizzy mind. Itachi had mentioned…some things about this city. Brief remarks while their father wasn't around to forbid spreading information of the Police's missions. Sasuke remembered being curious about them and for the first time didn't regret it.

Itachi told him Amegakure had an underground labyrinth of pathways. Almost another city under the surface. It sounded too surreal to him then because Konoha didn't have anything like it and he couldn't quite picture it but now… it sounded very possible.

He had to find a way to get there. An elevator? Perhaps stairs.

Police alarm rang out in the distance and he hurried through his indefinite search, ignoring the panic his presence created wherever he went. Surely, he wasn't a pretty sight with all that blood on him but he had no time to treat those wounds now and breathing became harder with every step he took.

There wasn't anyone in this world who would feel relieved to see a door with warnings for radiation and _Entrance Forbidden_ signs because beyond it he found exactly what he needed. Descending stairs and darkness. It didn't bother him that it was dark as much as the notion that there could be radiation in this place. Who knew what waste products have been thrown out? With that level of experimental medicine, everything. Usually, those radiation signs were fake and only placed for edification.

Sasuke stopped on one of the mid-platforms, deciding it's deep enough for a brief stop. With shaking hands, he put off his sniper rifle and detached the sling from it, using the convenient loop to have a grip on his wounded hand, tightened enough to decrease the bleeding. With that blurry vision and half-consciousness, surely he didn't have much blood left. It wasn't the best way to deal with the wound but it was the only one. Damn, he could use Sakura now.

A scoff came out of him as he continued his way down, leaning on the metal and trying his best not to give in to the drowsiness of that drug. How pathetic was that? Sakura was history. He swore to never bring her up again.

A flickering light caught his attention. It was attached to a wall, apparently, but was still somewhere far below. Perhaps that was the lower level. Gradually he saw many other lights making a pathway and lightening up a crossroad. A distant ripple of flowing water reached his ears along with an unusual shuffling. There was something down there and he slowed down when he heard it.

That state of his body wouldn't allow him to fight, which meant he was at a serious disadvantage, whatever that was. He assumed the creak of the metal door has echoed far into the dungeon-like space. Step by step, he reached the bottom and looked around. Clearly, that was a three-way crossroad but the bulb that was supposed to light the place was almost dead.

Sasuke made his way down the left corridor, hearing the noise again. There was another light bulb in the distance… and a dark silhouette that was focused on scraping the stone on the ground. The lowering of the hammer of his gun was loud enough in the corridor and the figure rose up, silencing.

"I don't know what you are but you better be edible." The silhouette finally acquired a voice, a male voice.

Sasuke was taken aback by the words but stood still and didn't let his guard down.

"You wouldn't want to eat me, my blood is… infected."

"Shame. Nevermind, I have plenty of rats here anyway."

Sasuke slowly took a breath.

"My name is Sasuke."

"Suigetsu. An ex-periment." The man paused. "Ex-periment, get it?"

Sasuke was certain that if it wasn't his curiosity, a bullet was surely going to make its way through this one. Especially now, when he heard him laugh at his own joke in that repulsive way. If that could even be called a joke.

"You've escaped from Orochimaru?"

"I did, my brother didn't. But that was years ago." Suigetsu stepped closer, his form finally revealed into the faint light. His pale eyes and skin were the first thing that Sasuke noticed in him. They looked like they haven't seen a sunlight in years. Nevertheless, he didn't seem completely harmless. His worn-out clothes outlined a lean but not a weak body.

Years ago?

"What are you still doing here?"

"What's up with the questions, Sonic?" Suigetsu spouted.

"It's Sasuke. Answer me."

"I live here."

"In the sewers?"

"Yeah." Suigetsu rubbed his hands together. "It's kinda cold and dark but… better than up there. I only go out if I have to."

Sasuke remained silent for a while. Was he insane too or that was an act? Maybe it was a combination of both.

"So you know this place."

"I do. Doesn't mean you're welcome, though." Suigetsu slightly bent, squeezing… Sasuke noticed just now it was a knife what he had in his hand. "I was close when I heard you coming from that door and I happen to know nothing good comes from it."

"I only need a quick passage." Sasuke lowered his gun, deciding it's better if he didn't discuss the subject as he pointed a loaded weapon.

Suigetsu hummed, thinking over his words. Then his eyes scanned Sasuke's wretched appearance and stilled on the hand he had deliberately covered under his cloak, following down in a line until he noticed the blood drops on the concrete floor.

"Is he dead?"

"Comatosed. I firmly believe he'll do more good to this world while unconscious."

"Hope he won't wake up soon then." Suigetsu scoffed and made a pause while Sasuke felt his own weight almost bring him down with the exhaustion. Fortunately, the pause wasn't long and Suigetsu made up his mind soon enough. "Well… " He sighed. "You can make yourself at home, Stacy."

* * *

 _A/N: Thanks for reading! I'm not dead either, nor is this fic. I kinda think it turned out pretty dark (mine always seem to do so) I tried writing a normal romance once, it didn't work. But all in all, I read about a case about a woman trying to kill herself with a gun and ending up alright after only 3 days of coma because the bullet went between her two hemispheres. So it is scientifically possible for that to happen. You have to be a damn good shooter to make this happen on purpose, though. Anyway, sorry for not answering to anything in this chapter, I will say everything about Itachi in the next one!_

P.S. _I always find these hilarious mistakes I've made in my previous chapters, sorry for them. I try to fix as much as I can. Also, I decided it'd be cool to include Orochimaru's real and previous name as his surname here._

* * *

 _ **Esther-himechan,**_ _thanks for the compliment. Sasuke just wasn't fully prepared for that lol_

 _ **Ana,**_ _my university consumes all my time and is boring, too, but anyway. I am trying not to think about it much and write more. So, I'll have a third chapter with Sasuke, yeah. Then you'll see. I ain't spoiling xD_

 _ **Guest(4),**_ _hope I didn't scare you away with my darkness lol_

 _ **Guest(2),**_ _I'm glad there are fans of KakaSaku too. There is something very nice about this ship and I like it, despite my undying love for SS. I have some more KakaSaku in a few chapters. Thanks for leaving that review, made me very happy._

 _ **Guest(3),**_ _thank you so, so much for this review. Inspired met continue writing just when I was thinking everything I've written is trash. I'm honest. You might've very well saved the story._


	25. King Of The Hill

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in it.**

* * *

 **XXV.**

 **\- King Of The Hill -**

Sharp smell of mould and stagnant air forced him to shift himself awake. The pain still lingered somewhere underneath, crawling through his veins with a dull and a slow pulse. It was somehow subdued, though, losing its previous vivid presence. He took a deep breath and exhaled, making sure his body and soul were still one and in the same, preferable reality. Not many times he found himself glad that they were so but now was one of those times.

It wasn't over yet.

Sasuke opened his eyes to a small room. It was weaved in metallic pipes and a metal barred entrances on his left and right served as doors. A laboring light intensified and dimmed rhythmically somewhere outside the door and after a few seconds he became aware of the presence of a generator in the room, one that regulated the flow of electricity and buzzed in constant, low tone.

He hurried to push himself up to a sitting position, feeling his bones already agonizing to the hard and cold touch of the stone on which he laid just now. What was that place? No memories came to mind when he tried to recall how he's ended up here.

That odd recess was in no way built for someone to live in because such places were the meeting of various tunnels and likely, used as a sort of underground control panels but this one's appearance suggested it had an owner. A rusty, metallic set of shelves was set across him, next to an improvised, low table with sheets of paper and an unusually looking set of instruments. Boxes were tossed on the floor, on top of them cloth-like rags. It slowly came back to his mind that he met a lunatic of some kind. Well, lunatic sounded a bit rude considering he spared his life. And helped him.

Sasuke's eyes fell on his right hand and scanned the clean bandage thoughtfully. Perhaps he wasn't so bad.

The rusty hinges of the heavy shaft on his right moaned under the pressure as Suigetsu dashed in, holding a bundle in his hands. He pulled out the knife from his side and left it on the table with a content sigh. The bundle turned out to be a piece of bread after he revealed it and sat on the floor, eating. Sasuke almost forgot that he was obliged to announce his full presence after a few minutes of silence. If he had to be honest, he had always preferred the stealthier approaches when it came to interaction.

The target of his attention went over a thorough analysis and then just as a thorough synthesis before he could decide whether it was worth his time and words. Often, the final conclusion was negative. People tended to be overly trivial and abuse their own capacity of being… elevated. Idle talk was what he most despised in his life, right after hypocrisy.

"Where did you get that bread from?"

Suigetsu startled, facing him at lightning speed. For a moment he had just frozen as if trying to remember who he was looking at but then he continued chewing.

"Some dude. Killed him in the back of a market." Suigetsu lifted up his knife absently. "You wanna have a bite?"

His very first thought was of shooting the guy but then he reminded himself it would be a huge loss for him if he did. Missing information that could be useful. Nevertheless, Sasuke's hand rested on the gun next to him. Strange, if the weirdo considered him an enemy would've stolen his weapons easily while he slept, not leave them next to him.

Sasuke leaned back on the wall, eyes fixed on the shaft.

"Aren't there others like you down here?"

"Yeah, but it's something like a king of the hill game when it comes to this place." Suigetsu smirked. "You know what I mean?"

Sasuke narrowed eyes. Wasn't the whole life a king of the hill game, really? The strongest was the winner.

"You kill everyone that makes demands to hold the sewers as their own?"

Suigetsu left the piece of bread in his hands and turned to Sasuke fully, opening a long pause. His gaze was steady and estimating but the glimmer in it tensed Sasuke a bit. This man was a mass murderer with a burnt out conscience but that wasn't what concerned the most, it was the fact those eyes found nothing wrong with that. It was a constant amusement that rested on that pale face.

"I had to choose whether to run and hide from the multiple mafias that rule over there." Suigetsu pointed up. "Or live a comparatively normal life without the stress down here."

Without the stress?

"Of course, I am not the only one who thinks that way so I periodically get rid of them." Suigetsu shrugged. "Most of them."

Sasuke scoffed.

"There are two or three people left but we're on good terms."

"So you prefer killing people rather than paying taxes?"

"Damn right." Suigetsu's features lit up at his companion's quick mind. Then returned to his previous occupation, namely eating. "I don't kill animals, though."

Sasuke couldn't suppress the puff of amusement that came out of him. Did Orochimaru mess him up like that or was it the life in the sewers with the constant lack of sunlight? This city was worse than he thought but… so far so good.

"Do you happen to know anything about Uchiha?"

Suigetsu almost choked on his food, turning to face him again.

"Why would you want to have anything to do with Uchiha?" The disgust in his voice was tangible. "Uchiha is the most hated name in this city."

Sasuke narrowed eyes.

"Why?"

"I suppose you're not local." Suigetsu sighed. "The countless manhunts that ruined so many people. Drug dealers, human traffickers, the black market… I'm sure even Amegakure's police hated that name since some dandy with a permit and a signature from the Government came and claimed their place, capturing a criminal after criminal."

"I heard the Uchiha brought his eldest son with him from time to time." Sasuke pointed out.

"Yeah." Suigetsu stood up and dusted off his clothes. "That bastard was no better than his father. But I think he spent lots of time behind desks, researching. At least those were the rumors."

"Researching what?" Sasuke's heartbeat increased with the realization that he finally got a lead.

"Akatsuki." Suigetsu tucked the knife back at his side absently.

Akatsuki? The most fearsome gang of criminals there ever was?

"Why them?"

"Don't you know?" Suigetsu folded hands, facing him. "Most of the group's members are from here. Guess the younger Uchiha thought he'd find answers of some kind." He paused. "Amateur, if you ask me. Akatsuki are ghosts. No one can find, much less capture them."

Sasuke's mind was racing. Nothing of what he heard about Itachi since he entered the city proved he had some kind of a connection to those criminal networks or he had any criminal behavior whatsoever. Itachi never mentioned to him that he's done research on Akatsuki, everything he shared was information on the city or on the missions he went with their father. Did he find something? If so, why keep it a secret? There were still too many questions and he had to do something about it.

"You said he spent time behind desks." Sasuke reached for the sniper rifle and eyed the blood-stained sling before setting the weapon on his back. "Any idea where those desks might be?"

"The former Police Department. The building's not used anymore." Suigetsu squinted at him. "And why are you so interested in that scum?"

"I have an unfinished business." Sasuke's voice lowered as he slowly stood up, leaning on the wall.

"You know both Uchiha are dead, right?" Suigetsu turned back to the table and shuffled the pieces of paper there; a quiet murmur followed: "Thank the heavens for that."

"I know. Can you get me there?" Sasuke was certain that his companion wouldn't be overly content with that commanding tone he used so he hurried to offer a strong enough compensation. "I will pay you."

Suigetsu glanced back, a playful smile on his lips.

* * *

Those wet and dark tunnels were like an endless nightmare but somehow Suigetsu never once hesitated whether the direction he followed was the right one, he was convinced of it the whole time. Their steps echoed in the vast spaces of the labyrinth, leaving the impression of an infinite loop of unceasing, identical sounds and identical voids. Every corner, every bit of stone in those corridors were the same and the sameness could bring one to madness or, in the best scenario, to lose himself.

Whenever Itachi mentioned Amegakure's labyrinths, he painted a picture of adventure and mystery, and much to Sasuke's amusement, their concept of adventure and sights that intrigued were more than opposite. Shivers ran down his spine when he heard an unusual scratching at one time but Suigetsu assured him that's a dear friend of his. Matter of fact, even the most beautiful and pure thing could be corrupted down there.

The rare bulbs of light that formed the pathways of that giant maze were the only thing that dispersed the thick with moist and stench shadows. Overall, if he didn't know there was a whole industrial center over his head, Sasuke would've thought all this looked like the maw of a huge monster.

While they threaded the darkness in silence Sasuke thought over the fact that this man could've very well killed and robbed him but he had chosen to help him instead. Doing that out of good will was a laughable solution to that question. What made sense was that he could've seen some sort of an equal after getting to know what has happened on his and Orochimaru's encounter.

Perhaps Suigetsu's always wanted to avenge his brother but hasn't done it for some reason and his interference with the problem won him Suigetsu's respect. He could go for that. Nothing else sounded plausible anyway.

Sasuke didn't count the minutes or the distance they passed but was sure those were at least two kilometers of infinite tunnels. At least that's how he felt them like.

Suigetsu stopped in front of a metallic ladder at the bottom of the dead-end they entered last and climbed up. His hands shifted something that reminded a canal-lock and pushed up the oval sluice over his head a few times before it shifted, giving the way of faint sunbeams. Sasuke readjusted to the light, quick to follow Suigetsu up.

It was the next alley trapped between two but the noise of the civilization hit them like a wave from every side.

Two-story building of heavy concrete and a cracking paint towered over with a looming darkness. Surely no paint could endure the test of daily raining...and these walls looked on the verge of falling down, too. Still, the windows appeared unbreakable, each reinforced with bars. It was best if he tried to enter through the door.

"You need company?" Suigetsu leaned on the wall, glancing curiously at the abandoned building across the street and back at Sasuke.

"No."

Sasuke turned to him for a moment. He did deserve gratitude for all he did, despite that his way of living was disgraceful. Points of view are a bad thing. If judged by his actions since the moment of their meeting Suigetsu could very well be a better person than most of the people he knew, himself included. But apart from that, he was a murderer and a thief. The dregs of the society he particularly despised.

"Thanks."

"Guess you don't want a tail so I'm not gonna wait for you." Suigetsu glanced up at the frowning skies and pulled the hood over his head. "If we don't meet again," He paused, his melancholic tone suggesting a promising end. "It'd be great."

Sasuke tucked a hand into his pocket and proceeded to pay him, as promised.

Soon after, Suigetsu slid across the wall and quickly disappeared into the fog of people who passed to and fro. Sasuke took a breath and released it, the chilly air helping him to focus more. He hurried to cross the desolate street and climb over the wired fence. It was an old edifice but, as Suigetsu had mentioned, obviously not used anymore because the windows were dim and dirty. Surrounding the wall to get to the entrance and, fortunately, it was a double door – they were easier to break through.

He was about to break the lock when he noticed the door was ajar.

A furrow altered his features at the sight. Did they leave it open or did someone break in after they've locked it up?

Sasuke stepped in and clicked the door shut, curiosity driving him to move forward at a fast pace. There was no way Itachi wouldn't leave a message or an explanation of some kind. He left notes to him even when he went to the shop when they were little. Just that the sight didn't give Sasuke much hope. The police-station was completely wiped up and everything that was left were bare walls and furniture. He walked down the tiled corridor, scanning the opened lockers at his side. Everything was taken.

Multiple switches were lined up one next to another at the end of the corridor and he slowly turned them on, letting the lamps light up the spacious lobby that spread in front of him. Just as he thought he'd have more luck with finding something, his eyes fell on the barely discernable footsteps. He kneeled, making sure he's not imagining there were really traces of a recent breakthrough. Muddy outlines of a footprint. Likely a male, if the shoe size was taken in mind.

He walked further and his breath hitched at the sound of a familiar voice. Calm, deep timbre. It was Itachi's voice but somehow muffled… as if played on a record.

" _…raise doubts to anyone. It was later when I got to know…"_

Whoever had breached in, he was still here. Sasuke walked in the direction of the voice and surrounded a few desks on his way. Was it on the second floor? He crossed the lobby and climbed up the L-shaped stairs ascending along the wall.

"… _decided to infiltrate the world's most famous criminal gang in the world by using…"_

Sasuke heard a puff from the office across him and pulled his gun, lowering the hammer as he advanced slowly between the new set of desks.

" _Sources led me to Amegakure and even further-"_

Sasuke fired through the dimmed glass of the door but managed to only graze his shoulder because he cleverly dodged the bullet on his way out and reached to hit Sasuke's wrist so that he can drop the weapon but Sasuke backed away in time. The man pulled out a gun and a blink of an eye later they were pointing at each other, completely still.

"Daaamn." The cold blue of his young eyes darkened a tad, narrowing with a momentary tic. "That was good."

His thin lips were curved in a smirk when he scanned Sasuke from head to toe.

"Guess you can expect that kind of class from an Uchiha. Shooting people from behind without a warning."

"What do you know about Itachi?" Sasuke couldn't quite tell what he hid under that long coat but most certainly that gun wasn't the only thing on him.

"I did work with one Itachi." The man scoffed, making a line with his gun. "That high. Repulsive. Painful lack of humor."

"Quit the talk. Who are you?"

"Deidara. Of The Akatsuki." He bowed in a reverence of respect. "You must be the brother he mentioned. Oh," Deidara pulled out a small recording device from his pocket. "Took me a while to find this. He says some pretty confidential stuff. Can't let that slip into your hands. Or the police's."

Sasuke felt his grip on the gun weaken for a moment, his thoughts spurring into a chaos. Akatsuki? His brother worked with Akatsuki? So he wasn't the noble man that he had looked up to his whole life. The one he worshipped and loved was a two-faced villain.

"Give me the device."

"Listen, man, I don't like your face. I'd love to wipe those nasty genes off this Earth once and for all." Deidara snapped and grimaced in disgust. "Makes me wanna blow that head of yours."

He aimed, closing one eye but Sasuke was already hiding behind the piled wooden desks. Deidara fired at him a couple of times but found himself hiding when Sasuke decided to return the favor.

"I only like to keep that thing because I have orders to bring evidence," Deidara explained out loud. "It's so infuriating to think that I've always hated your brother but Pain was just mesmerized by him. Still is. Hope that recording will erase his… partiality."

"Give me the device, bastard!" Sasuke growled, shooting at random.

"You need to die already." Deidara's low murmur reached him right before two grenades landed at his sides.

He ran behind the concrete railing before the explosions caused a minor ring in his ears. After the cloud of smoke cleared up, he saw a part of the second floor has landed on the first, opening a big hole. What was with that guy? Another grenade was thrown his way before he could think about it further, forcing him to back down to the first floor and hide behind an office door. Was there a way to take that device off him without having to kill him? He had to get close. Or… shoot with something that would disarm him.

"I haven't got all day, Uchiha. Come out."

Sasuke took off his sniper and put away the scope. He had to shoot without a sight this time. Deidara's voice came from near, he surely had come down to the first floor. Sasuke peeked for a moment before Deidara shot at him twice, nearly hitting him. He really was close but slow, too.

Sasuke needed a second to aim and fire at his hand. The bullet pierced through Deidara's palm and he groaned in pain, dropping the gun. He made a step forward but froze when Sasuke screamed at him to stop, this time aiming for his head.

"Give me the device and I'll spare you."

The beating of his heart deafened every other noise.

Deidara was glaring at him continuously, not moving an inch. Without taking his eyes off Sasuke's, his bleeding hand slipped inside his coat and pulled out the device but Sasuke wasn't convinced he had changed his mind that fast. That glimmer of insanity burning in his light eyes was in no way a sign of defeat. But he stretched his hand nevertheless with a smile, ignoring the drops of blood that fell from it.

"Take it." Deidara grinded his teeth.

Sasuke shifted closer, still keeping him at a gunpoint. That was not good. Not good at all. But whatever he had in mind, it wasn't going to be faster than a sniper rifle's bullet. Did he really admit he had lost? Didn't look like the type to admit defeat. In fact, he had that teen attitude that often got on one's nerves. The I'm-always-right attitude.

Sasuke reached for the device and took it but his lips parted in surprise when Deidara leaned in with a whisper and a most sincere smile. "I placed some demolition explosive on my way in. You'll love it."

The split second before he detonated the building was not enough for him to make up a plan of escape but he managed to get under a desk's frame before the tons of concrete and metal shattered with a heavy blast, concussing the whole structure. It was close to an earthquake but brief and… fatal. Brief and fatal.

He tried pushing away some pieces of concrete that were piled up and blocking his way but at the second attempt the pain had become too much and he gave up, leaning back on the wooden frame. There was light coming through the cracks of the wall of stone blocks that helped him see the gradually growing stains of blood on his clothes. He wasn't much of an expert in medical conditions but it did feel like he had been placed under one of those car-smashing vices they used in scrap yards.

Great.

His shaking hand squeezed the small device in his hand and a smile altered his harassed expression. What an irony, at least the device was whole. There wasn't much to do so he decided to give it a go and clicked the red button, trying to take a deep breath despite the heaviness in his chest.

" _Sasuke… I'm sorry the last time you'll hear my voice will be through a recording device but it is what it is. I have important things to say to you and I know this is upsetting because I am already dead if you're listening to this but there was no other way. You will understand."_ A small cough separated the introduction before Itachi's voice continued " _Uchiha is a clan of many secrets and many crimes. I think you suspected it but our parents never told you anything. The truth is our kin's power and money lie in pools of blood. I decided I don't want such legacy for you and was prepared to meet the consequences of that decision."_

 _"I'll start from the beginning. I met Danzo Shimura on a business gathering by the time he was still trying to become a governor and no one suspected anything about him. Seems like our father had deep connections with most of the high-levels because he wasn't really himself on those gatherings, at least not the man we know. His strict obedience to them could raise doubts to anyone. It was later when I got to know his position as a chief of the police has been given to him at the cost of innocent lives."_

 _"Anyway… that night I was brought aside by Shimura at one time during the dinner and received an ultimatum from him. I was coerced to work for him and give him information and in return, he said he wouldn't harm my family since he had the full power to do so. That… was where the tough part began. Father didn't question me, of course, and he should've, as a chief of police in a capital city but I'm afraid his conscience was asleep and he preferred to stay silent, although I was convinced he was well aware of my secret. I forestalled a bad occurrence of circumstances. Shimura was_ _a merciless, greedy man with nothing to lose and my weaknesses were too m_ _any_ _and too_ _evident."_

 _"One day he asked me to give him the coordinates of my platoon's current residence. I knew he was already deep in the trade with weapons and his petition for the governor's position had been refused for the third time. I knew he wanted to use that information to threat the authorities and take what he wants. As much as I thought Konoha's Government corrupted and phony, I was convinced they wouldn't sacrifice their most elite soldiers only to grant the desire of a madman. I tried putting sense into him, offering less extreme measurement of taking the political power he so desired but that only angered him more and led him to set a choice before me. It was rather… a promise. Shimura said my father boasted about his younger son being sent on an A-rank mission at Konoha South 5. He promised to wipe your platoon out if I don't give him the means to wipe out mine."_

 _"I requested time to make the decision and was granted with it but forced to make a vow that if I choose my platoon, I have to die with it."_

 _"My captain sent for me a few days later and I reported for duty. He had found another trace and had decided to infiltrate the world's most famous criminal gang in the world by using a double agent with the needed abilities. Sources led me to Amegakure and even further… I even found Akatsuki's leader at one time (or rather he found me). He saw great potential in me so I joined his group. It was easy, I've always been too smart for my own good. I won their trust because I spoke rarely and killed with finesse - something that was valued among those people. I was so good at it that they fell into the trap. One only thing remained – to give them away and end Akatsuki once and for all but that meant making a connection with Konoha again. Which meant I had to give my answer to Shimura. An answer I still didn't have."_

 _And so… the weeks flowed and I couldn't bring myself to go back. I knew whatever my choice was, it was going to tear me apart. Not that all those people I killed before didn't tear me apart already. Just that,"_ A breathy laugh followed and Sasuke closed his eyes, feeling warmth stream down from them. " _I have dear friends in that platoon, Sasuke. I love those people. And, uh…"_ Itachi exhaled sharply, his voice shaking despite the effort he put into concealing it. " _Man, that's harder than I thought."_

Sasuke refused to acknowledge the physical pain that surged through him but the one that rent his heart was merciless and relentless, and it couldn't be escaped.

 _"55.538075 to 7.599948 are the exact coordinates of Akatsuki's hideout. Give them to the right people, Sasuke. I know where Shimura's hiding too. I think our teams managed to trace him after those explosions he caused on some of our bases. After he ran away from Konoha I received only phone calls and didn't know where he is until I decided to give him my answer and that way prolong the conversation enough to trace the phone's position. It is a factory, at the hub of a small village, thirty-five miles from Konoha's most northern base. You can tell your superiors to be careful with that man, he is always prepared and likely, will see you all coming."_

 _"Well, I guess the choice has always been clear to me but I needed some time to part with everything. To part with you."_ Itachi made another, longer pause. " _I'm sorry you had to end up all alone, little brother. It was never my intention to leave you but you have to understand. After all my sins, after all the sins of the previous generations in our family, I couldn't remain alive. It's something I had to do, do you understand? It was out of the question to stay aside as my friends die and then tell myself it was the right choice afterward. All the more, choosing to lose your life instead of mine has never been an option for me."_

 _"So, I…"_ Itachi's voice lowered, becoming less formal. " _Want you to see my death as a sacrifice and a new beginning. I want you to take it as a burial of all the pain and sorrow in your heart. I need you to stop hurting and start fixing, not only what you've done to yourself but to the others too. And if you ever find hope again, somewhere among the ruins I leave you in, please try to remember it wasn't all bad. Perhaps then you'll have become strong enough to forgive me… because I've always loved you, always will. "_

There was a click that followed and the recording ended. Silence spread after the sound that echoed loudly in his narrow space.

As he thought about it, he couldn't come up with a better way to go. Somehow, the fear of death wasn't as strong as he thought it would be. Maybe the hope that he might see his brother again was what scattered the panic. Maybe he was too tired. In any case, no worry clouded his mind at the very moment and it was liberating. He was sorry for everything he did, that was the truth. It would've been better if he was granted the chance to apologize personally, yes, but… eh, doesn't matter now. Only if that awful pain could cease already.

There was a new click on the device next to him and another recording started, making him open his eyes in wonder.

" _Oh and, uh... I never thought I'd have to think of leaving a real legacy behind but..."_ A loud laughter rang out from the speaker. " _Remember when I told you not to touch that button I built in your sniper's frame? You always asked me about it and I never explained to you its purpose. Since you won't be hearing from me anymore, I thought it's time. "_

Sasuke turned his head, his eyes searching for any pieces of his rifle. Two parts laid crushed between the weight of a block at his side but the chassis must've fallen somewhere else when the explosion occurred… or it was completely crushed. Concrete pieces and dust covered everything his eyes could see. With his body bleeding and aching like that he couldn't move an inch. Just the small movement he made a minute ago caused him excruciating pain.

 _"Konoha has no sea outlet and I guess there's no way you might know this but whenever a ship or a yacht is built, the constructors usually put in a small device called an SOS system. It's a system used when the vessel finds itself in an emergency situation in the middle of the sea or the ocean. Quite useful."_ Itachi coughed dramatically. _"I took the liberty to buy a minimized version of such a device without letting father or mother know. Now, if you press that button, the system will transmit pulsing signals for help in the ether around you. And… help will come. Guaranteed."_ Itachi sighed. _"So. I built in an SOS device in your rifle. Don't be afraid to use it. You have to rely on others sometimes. You can make it, Sasuke."_ Itachi chuckled. _"I believe in you."_

Sasuke made another attempt to shift but harrowing shivers through his spine forced him to remain still and relax back. The pause prolonged as he felt coldness slowly enveloping his body and numbing his mind but in no way decreasing the pain. SOS, huh? Always giving him the best presents.

Well… maybe in another life.

* * *

 _A/N: Long chapter. Thank you for reading! I hope you liked my rendition in this one. Wanted to make it kinda close to the original but mine in a way and that's why I took my time so much. And University, of course. All them people that try to grip my attention away from writing and often succeeding in doing so. Anyway, I'll be back to Sakura next chapter and nope, I ain't gonna spoil anything lol._

* * *

 _ **Esther-himechan,**_ _I'm done with Itachi's mystery now, hope you liked it haha_


	26. Rupture

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in it.**

* * *

 **XXVI.**

 **\- Rupture -**

"Fasten your seatbelts. We're starting to descend." An even voice echoed through the transmitter and Sakura reached for the black belt on her own seat, clicking it together. Her movements were slow and measured, her thoughts taking the best of her.

There was a pale ghost that somehow still dwelled within those bones she carried but no one that had tried to realize a connection with it today has ever succeeded. Heavy clouds of doubt and fear hung over her and refused to let her return to her habits, the ones that dragged her back to the physical reality.

Her mind was an empty hall and the highlights were on her and her alone and even the air was intensified with expectancy but she had nothing to say. Words didn't come out of her mouth, they only formed and faded away like specks of dust. It was a storm and a turbulence in her heart and mind, every single second since she heard the news.

Gaara came this morning and said he's caught up some news through the radio. There's been an explosion in Amegakure and the authorities have no idea what caused it. The level of panic among the citizens has increased due to the sudden occurrence. Many think it's been a terrorist attack and blame the authorities for not being strict and vigilant enough.

Even with that many police officers and security guards, criminals still sneak into the city and out of it, has noted the journalist. The Governor has assured everyone through the media that safety measures will be taken and there's no need for strikes of any kind. The forces will be doubled and now every abandoned building searched through and taken down, eventually. He's promised everything was under control.

As for the strange explosion, nothing was certain yet. The firefighters, medics and the SWAT teams sent on the scene of the crime still refused to give answers. The building has been abandoned and no criminal would've had any benefit targeting it. The head of the Amegakure Police Department suggested those kinds of attacks usually serve as a moral weapon, to impose fear in people. Even so, many are still not convinced the explosion has been an actual attack since, officially, the teams have reported no casualties.

Sakura had a bad feeling about it.

No one ever listened to what they said on the radio or the television because it was all a generally, systematically created lie. No one believed the stories they told but the media still existed, nevertheless. Buildings didn't blow up with no reason. Not in Amegakure. Knowing the city's fame.

"Excuse me, miss. Do you want something to drink?" The neatly-dressed stewardess startled her and she faced her, trying to wear her most carefree expression.

"No, thank you."

"Is everything alright? Anything I can help with?"

Sakura shook her head with a smile and the woman left her alone.

The plane was the same she came to the base with, which didn't help her much. Memories of Naruto and Sasuke flooded her mind and she was forced to turn away, her blurry eyes looking through the compact window on her left. It was a rare sight – the plane flew in between two seas of light clouds above and dark ones below. It was a peaceful scenery, as if she floated between two worlds.

Faint sunbeams gilded the white veils with celestial light and Sakura found herself in a momentary awe by the serenity. A blanket of darkness was spread far in all sides below them. There was so much power and magnificence in the infinite skies that she caught her breath. Was that what it felt like to be free? To fly, weightless, fearless and with no memory of your past and no worry for the future. Perhaps that's what the spirit always sought. An eternal flight of reverence before its creator.

She often stopped time and space to try and see the glory of it all but it has never been close to what she saw now. The world was so lidded in darkness that she never thought such beauty existed somewhere above the clouds and it left her breathless. It awoke longing in her, a desire to remain there and have the wings to wander in that ether.

But the image appeared lonesome. Her eyes closed, head leaning back.

She pleaded for a life to be preserved again. For all the years of her life, she had never tried to see herself from aside but now she tried doing so and it almost made her smile. It was as if she was a mediator of a sort, sent to Earth to plea for human lives. Not only did she work in the department physically as a doctor but her mind was always residing in a temple of her own, begging and seeking mercy for a certain human.

No one taught her to do it, she was feeling the urge to serve in that way. It was giving a meaning to her existence.

Kakashi ordered her to get back to Konoha. Just to be sure she's safe and not a target of anyone's suspicions. Her stay at the base was outside the law and he didn't want to get into trouble for it, neither did he want her to agonize by doing nothing. He remained calm while the news reached his ears but there was a trace of shadow that crossed his face. Both of them thought the same. Sasuke.

Sakura refused to believe he had died there. Not until she receives real information concerning the explosion. Kakashi assured her he's going straight to Amegakure to see what's going on and promised to let her know whenever he has the chance.

Tiny buildings started showing up and Sakura looked through the window again, greeting her beloved Konoha. Goodness, she missed that city. It's been two weeks and she forgot how much she missed it.

The plane landed flawlessly and soon she found herself walking through the bleak and almost empty terminal corridors, with the buzz of her case's wheels echoing in the vast space. She had her uniform on but couldn't wait to take it off, despite all the admiring looks she got from the ones who passed her by.

"Sakura!"

That voice… that voice was home itself.

Sakura quickly found the source of it and a smile bloomed on her lips. Her feet quickened the pace almost to running, eager to reach her haven. She jumped in her father's arms and stood there long, in silence. He loved doing that, didn't he? When they parted, Kizashi held her arms and looked at her, eyes filled with joy.

"Welcome back, my dear."

Sakura shook her head and leaned to hug him again. She thanked God fathers like hers existed on this world.

The door to her apartment clicked open and she breathed in the familiar air. Kizashi stepped in right after her and closed, switching the lights up. Sakura sighed with relief at the sight of her cozy bed and her mini-tv in the corner. Books and clothes were still all around her two rooms and she couldn't feel better discovering them at their same places.

"Are you hungry?" Kizashi asked, taking her coat off. "You insisted to come back to your apartment. Your mother said she's cooked food."

"I'm not hungry." Sakura gave him an apologetic smile. Everything inside of her was tied on a knot since she heard about the explosion, she couldn't possibly put food in her mouth at the moment. "But I'll be glad if you make me company."

"You alright?" Her father inquired as he made his way to her kitchen.

"Yeah, I just want to rest for a while. I'm sorry, I know mom's probably going to be mad at me for not rushing to meet her after I've returned from a mission."

"Mebuki could never be mad at you for such a thing. Don't worry, she'll understand."

Sakura shrugged, taking some civilian clothes she could wear at home.

As nice as the apartment seemed at first sight, Sakura got to the realization that it needs a major cleaning and rearranging. She hadn't done one in weeks and with her new job in the military, she doubted she'd ever have the time so now was the moment. Resting was her prime wish for today, though. The flight wasn't that exhausting as much as the news they received. Her whole body was tensed in anticipation since the early morning.

Kizashi kept her company for an hour and she was grateful to have him around, talking and cheering her up with his seemingly unabating joy but he did sense she needed some privacy and wrapped up their last conversation with the excuse that he needed to go fix an electricity problem of their neighbor's – a widow that he owed.

Sakura wasn't sure if the whole story wasn't a lie he made up just to leave her alone or it was true but she didn't bother asking further, letting him go. He was just putting his coat on, on his way out when her phone rang out, ceasing his monologue on the importance of helping your neighbors when they're in need.

Her heart sank within her at the sound but she hurried to find it in her handbag across the room and pick up, closing eyes for a second.

"Well?" She breathed out. "Are you in Amegakure?'

"Yeah. I went to place where the former Police Department blew up."

"I'm going, love." Her father waved to get her attention and she looked up and forced a smile as he stepped out of her apartment and closed the door. "If you need something, just call."

"Kakashi?" She called in the speaker, walking to the door in order to lock it after her father. The silence after her question was a tad longer than usual and it made her squeeze the metallic handle harder.

"Everyone I interrogated kept the alibi that there was nobody in the building at the moment of the explosion but I found a medic that asserted otherwise… after I pressured him to tell the truth. The boy said there were two bodies when they arrived but all the medics and officers have received a warning to keep that a secret."

Sakura turned around and leaned her back on the door.

"What does that mean?"

"I couldn't ask him more because they interrupted us but he had enough time to describe to me what he's seen. One of the men was Sasuke, for sure. The other's been too mutilated for anyone to recognize him but a demolition explosive of the kind that's used cannot be attained legally. I assume no one wants to blare that a deserter and a potential criminal have been walking around freely. I'm not surprised."

"But…" Sakura's throat tightened, making her finish the sentence in a whisper. "So he's dead?"

Kakashi remained silent for a moment.

"I don't usually trust anyone until I see a body but with the scale of that explosion… I'm afraid so. With that much paranoia and doubt in the authorities' ability to keep the city safe and peaceful I'm sure they'd want to bury the story deep where people will quickly forget it. Even though I'm a military captain I don't think they'll… let me see any proof of…" Kakashi's voice trailed away.

Sakura slowly slid down to the ground.

"I'm sorry, Sakura."

"Thank you for the information." Sakura forced a chuckle, finding it hard to believe that she's thanking him for such news. "I…uh," She touched her lips with the back of her hand. "I have to…"

"Yes. Of course."

"Well, that was unexpected." Sakura exhaled sharply, tears starting to roll down from her eyes. "I mean… you always think there's hope and you never really…"

"Assume the worst, yeah." Kakashi finished her sentence and the silence spread between them.

Sakura closed her eyes again.

"Sorry I'm keeping you on the phone, I should leave you alone."

"It's not a problem. Talk as much as you like."

"Are you… coming back?" Sakura took a breath.

"Yes. I'll have to take care of a few things here and… notify the platoon. Then I'll be free to go back to Konoha. Shouldn't take more than a day or two." Kakashi paused. "I could've stopped him, you know."

"Oh, no. No, I'm sure he chose that path himself."

"But I could've stopped him."

Sakura opened her eyes, straightening up a bit. The stolidity in his voice was heart-wrenching.

"Don't blame yourself. You're carrying enough on your shoulders already."

"It was my responsibility as a captain, no matter what everyone says."

"He was lost." Sakura mouthed, looking down. "You did whatever you could. We all did."

Another pause.

Sakura could sense the inconvenience and the tension through the speaker but didn't bring herself to speak. Seemed like the two of them were in one of those dead-ends – the ones that hit you hard and you find yourself on your knees, trying to remember how to breathe again. Exchanging words in those moments sounded so superfluous and flat that whatever you tried to say turned into a poorly written screenplay.

"See you soon."

The quick click that followed was like a vice that clenched her heart with a massive force. It wasn't until she heard his voice failing when she realized what Sasuke meant for him. Losing him was not something he'd get over.

Sakura stood up and her hand reached for the switch, turning the light off. The silence was so empty that her pain reverberated and she could feel it like a pulse of an echo in a vast space but all it did was to multiply and all she did was capitulate to its crushing weight.

* * *

"So, here we are." Naruto announced with a sigh and turned off the engine of her car.

The Uchiha Household stood proud and tall as ever, the wilt of the garden greeted them with a breath of sadness - overgrown with weeds and grey darnels. The unswept concrete pathway that led to the veranda, everything was the same as Sakura remembered it, just that now there was a hollow tinge in the air around, soaking in one's very skin. The imposing edifice was frozen in time – nothing moved, no noise could be heard beyond that iron gate. It was the same sight people saw in their nightmares. Always peering and prowling for the movement behind the curtain or the evanescent flicker of light somewhere inside the unswerving, solid stone.

Sakura knew that she was ready to give anything to have that nightmare now but it was to no avail. Desolation had devoured that house long ago and there was no hope for a new life in that scenery. It was doomed to stay silent.

Her gaze remained on the house as Naruto opened the gate with its characteristic creak and let her step in.

There was a big lump in her throat since she heard from Kakashi two days ago but her eyes were dry. The experience was something new to her, she always cried. She cried about everything. But this time her eyes just refused to tear up. It was strange, she was feeling so heavy with dread that she almost hadn't spoken since that conversation she had on the phone, her lungs functioning as if with tenth of the oxygen she needed and her whole body was on a stand-by, in a borderline existence. Yet, something told her the bubble was going to burst. With every step closer to the entrance, she ascertained of it.

Naruto pulled out a pocket knife and after looking around for witnesses proceeded to breach through the lock.

Yesterday he called and explained to her how things worked when a soldier died. Should the soldier have a living relative of any sort, all his property passes to the relative. Should the soldier has no living relatives, as was the case with Sasuke now, the property was taken by the Government. The whole process took about a week or something but Naruto said they've driven the process far quicker with Sasuke's property. Sakura didn't have the will or the power to get angry but it was pretty obvious that they'd want to grasp onto everything he had before any claimants show up, considering his property was a veritable fortune.

Truth was, his property belonged to them anyway, since he is announced a deserter, no matter dead or alive, and it gave them the right to take it away as soon as they wanted.

However, Naruto had signed up papers he wanted to take advantage of. Sasuke gave him his car before attempting to take his life away so Naruto decided to keep it instead of letting it go within the Government's hold. He asked her if she wants to go with him and she refused. But then called him back because she remembered that there was something of value she needed to save.

Both of them stepped into the solemn vastness of the lobby and Naruto scoffed.

"I knew that he was rich but didn't think he's _that_ rich."

"You've never been here?" Sakura wearied.

"Never. Have you?"

Sakura turned to meet his eyes but once their gazes interlocked, he visibly withered, a shadow of regret that he's asked passing over his features.

"Sorry. I'll, uh… go upstairs." He pointed up. "Think the keys might be in his room."

Without waiting for a reply, he dashed up the stairs and disappeared from her sight, leaving her alone in the lobby.

Oh, yes… she's been here. She waded in the deep.

Sakura drifted along the hall, her eyes memorizing every detail of the imposing interior. She walked down the well-known corridor and found herself in the kitchen, switching the lights on. The expensive luster of the marble welcomed her and the corners of her mouth rose up in a mirthless smile. It still looked more like a stage than a kitchen but she loved it nevertheless. Her feet dragged her to a drawer in particular.

Sakura took a deep breath and exhaled but her lungs were failing again. She opened the shelf and took the box out, leaving it on the counter with the slowest movement.

 _Decided to steal something, after all?_

The nipping irony of his ever so cold tone echoed in her head as if he had said it just now. And it was all that she needed to burst the bubble of everything she smoldered and stuffed up.

 _"Only this time."_ Her voice broke off and the tears overwhelmed her, despite her attempt to keep them from falling. The pain was so intensive that it grew physical and she bent in two, finding herself shrunk against the drawer and crumbled down on the tilted floor.

She thought she'd be ready for the blow but truth was… no one was ever ready for it. Leaving without saying goodbye was cruel.

"Sakura." Naruto ran to her and hugged her, making circles on her back. "Come on, don't cry."

"Is that why he did it?" Sakura grieved, speaking the words with difficulty. "Is that why he wanted us to hate him? Because it didn't work." She hid her face in his shirt. "I still miss him."

"It's alright. I miss him too." Naruto admitted with a heavy sigh and pulled her in a hug.

They stood in each other's arms in a thick silence. Sakura admitted to herself that she needed the closeness at the moment and judging from Naruto's tight hold, he needed it too. Despite the rending sensations in her chest, it was somewhat calming to share them with another human being. At least he understood what she went through.

"Perhaps he didn't intend to come back alive in the first place." Sakura whispered, backing away from Naruto; hand brushing the tears in her eyes.

"I don't know." Naruto helped her stand up on her feet. "I feel like he's never been the selfish bastard he tried so hard to be."

Sakura shook her head.

"We'll never know. Maybe he really hated us."

"Then I hope he's found peace in his hatred." Naruto glanced at the tea box and dragged her attention to it. "If that even makes sense."

Sakura took it in her hands and looked up at him.

"I'll take that with me."

They decided to leave already since they didn't want to have any trouble with police forces that patrolled around in the district. With a final sigh closed the door to the house. Shame, Sakura thought. It's a beautiful house and could be used for so many things, including sheltering a few families at once. The Government was either going to demolish it or abandon it the way it is, for years.

"You wanna go somewhere?" Naruto asked, as they found themselves in the garden. He looked geniuinly uncomfortable trying to appease and calm her down but truth was all Sakura needed was his presence. It was assuring enough. "I mean, we can go out if you don't wanna be alone… or something?

"No, I want some time with myself. I'll go home." Sakura gave him a half smile and brushed his arm in a warm gesture. "Thanks for having me."

"Anytime. Call me if you need to talk."

After a nod from her, Naruto disappeared from her sight, heading for the garage. Sakura took the keys of her own car and headed out. She sat in the driver's seat but didn't hurry to set off, distracted by the tea box. Funny, you seemed to get what you wished for in the end. It would be an honor for her to keep the box intact and she had the perfect place for it in mind. The space next to her cutlery crate was empty since she removed the coffee machine from there.

Her hands dusted off the wooden surface and placed the box on the passenger seat, blinking away the blur in her vision.

She could use a cup of tea when she gets home. Passionflower.

* * *

 _A/N: Thank you for reading. Sorry for the darkness and sadness that I pour out to you all but bear with me, there are better chapters coming. I am somehow affected by the religious weight I put in this day. Have mercy, it's not easy for me to write right now because I have university projects, pre-exam exams and insane stuff to do with insane deadlines. Please keep in mind that I tend to finish whatever I have started. Don't know when I'll be able to update but if it's not soon, don't lose hope._

* * *

 _ **Esther-himechan,** thanks for leaving a review once again. I'm afraid the KakaSaku part is in the next chapter. You might have to wait till I get there. Sorry._

 _ **Guest (1),** thank you so much for reading, means a lot to me. Love you._

 _ **mel,** thanks for the opinion. I hate friends like Ino too but there is always hope for people to change for the better, right?_

 _ **Guest (2),** thank you for bothering to share with me that you liked the story, helps me think it's worth it all haha. I am touched by your words. Storytelling has always been my passion and I'm afraid it will always be. Only want to get better. As for the story, hope you'll stay until the end. *hug* Thank you, again._


	27. Almost

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in it.**

* * *

 **XXVII.**

 **\- Almost –**

"Oh, come on, eat the damn steak!" Ino made a wry face, eyes bouncing up and down Sai's face and fork as he carefully nudged the piece of meat on his plate. "It's not cooked by me."

Sakura observed the scene with the even indifference of a priest on a funeral. Nothing shifted inside her mind or body. They were frozen in time, cast on a desolate island, switched off by a higher power she couldn't reach and negotiate with. She knew there was no point in asking the notorious question _Why?_ but still, that was the only thing that rang out in the endless waste of her ruinous sorrow. Why?

Why did he have to leave? Why did she have to fall? Why did she feel like she could cut through her veins with that fancy knife on that fancy tablecloth in this unnerving, hollow restaurant and feel nothing? Why did she still drown after so many hours? Why did she hate the sound of every single voice that reached her ears lately?

She craved only one but it was lost, as far as it could be from her. Instead, she got another. A man she hadn't even talked to until now sat next to her and tried to win her affection throughout the whole night, despite that she was stone cold and never once looked him in the eyes.

Sakura hurried to brush her napkin against the corners of her eyes in a slight, supple motion that wouldn't attract suspicion. At least she hoped it won't.

"You want my wine?" Lee offered, startling her. He winked at her as he leaned in and continued in a whisper, "Think you need it more than I do." Then he poured the red liquid in his stemmed glass to the empty one of Sakura.

She watched as he did it, then looked up to his face, now lit up with enthusiasm. That was perhaps the first time in hours she had noticed him, he surely considered it a breakthrough. There was nothing attractive to her in that man, he was pushy and sometimes inconsiderate. He was generally kind but not kind enough to jump over the brick walls she built around her heart.

Too open, too naïve for her. She couldn't find in him the thing she sought in every pair of eyes. That look only Sasuke had once given her when she was bare in front of his unrelenting eyes. Like she was the finest art, and he thought he ruined it with his touch but couldn't stay away from it nevertheless. Lee's eyes were full of desire but they didn't see beyond, didn't cherish.

Sakura gave him a half-smile and drained the wine from her glass.

She couldn't stand the noise anymore. Ino somehow managed to drag her out of her apartment and form a double date but Sai's horrendous behavior only amused her so far. Pretending that she wanted to be on that table with those people was a terrible lie. The act tired her out.

"What you doin'?" Sai asked, head up to Sakura's rising form.

"I'm really tired, I just wanna go sleep," Sakura explained matter-of-factly, putting down the money for her own dish.

"Cool."

The metallic button of her clutch clicked shut and she met Ino's narrowed gaze. Reading her through, certainly, but whatever she said was not going to be enough. They spoke a few times before, remained silent a couple of times too. Ino even came to her house and took care of her when she dropped ill for a few days. The grief was like a new type of fever Sakura never knew existed. Brought her down and tossed her sideways like she was a feather in the wind.

Ino said nothing but Lee stood up with a single sharp movement.

"I can send you off."

"No need," Sakura announced with a wave of her hand but he followed her between the tables anyway. He insisted, she had no willpower to argue. The deal she managed was _only to the end of the block and you go back to watch over those two. Fair enough,_ he said and they trailed off the darkness of the street.

Konoha was still the militarized clink she was used to seeing. But now it seemed emptier and darker. Dry and cold, as winters in Konoha have always been. And that was alright, she needed the coldness to keep her sane and the razor wind to keep her on the surface.

When she said she'd pay whatever price to redeem him, she didn't think she'd have to gather herself piece by piece from the ground. She imagined everything but this. Standing on the edge of a cliff and looking down. So close to death, to losing the hope that she had found anew with Sasuke's influx in her life. What was the way from here on? Because she knew her heart was branded with the love for one man only, for eternity and now he became unreachable.

Lee talked to her throughout their short walk, talked to her with excitement and struggled to intrigue her but the only thing inside her was a pity for him. He did not have the power to bring a hollow back to life.

"Thanks for sending me off." Sakura cut through his flow of words, in the middle of his last sentence and he silenced, nailing in place as she did. It was the corner of a crossroad, next to a traffic light.

Lee furrowed for a moment, then shrugged and restored the smile on his face. At least he was quick to understand context. Sakura's remark was harsh enough. He nodded at her and walked back to the restaurant, hand in his pockets. Strange, she didn't even feel remorse. She felt nothing.

Dusk was quickly covering the city as dark grey clouds slid over. She heard the sounds of thunder in the skies from afar an hour ago and it seems the rain was shifting over Konoha, soon about to drop. It hadn't rained in a month anyway. Oh God, she swore she loved rain once. But after all the newest memories she created with it, it transformed into a curse. Every raindrop was a dagger to her heart, every thunder a merciless blow.

Sakura leaned on the metal pole and looked up. Hilarious. She was stuck at the center of this dark, empty crossroad; waiting for the rain. Nobody told her she'd end up there.

She made a step, down on the asphalt, then another. What if she didn't want to continue? What if she remained there forever, stuck in the middle? Wouldn't be that bad. If it meant she wouldn't take any more losses. Nothing wrong with giving up, right? Not everyone was strong enough to face the reality of their situation. Sometimes you need to quit, turn off. Sometimes you wish you're turned off forever.

It was a subject she reiterated a lot in her mind in the past days. What is she turns herself off forever?

The highlights of an approaching car refocused her wandering gaze. Her first thought was to not move from her place and so she did. But the car slowed down to a stop, right in front of her. Sakura squinted at the blinding light for a while, the low purr of the engine echoing in the silence. Whoever was in that car, they didn't plan on surrounding her. But she didn't want to move either.

The door clicked open with a smooth arc and a familiar silhouette neared her. It took her a few seconds to recognize that slightly stooping posture.

Kakashi bent a bit more to find her irresponsive, lusterless eyes and peered into them, now lit up artificially by the car's lights. She wondered if she looked like one of those creepy dolls she had as a little girl. Did she scare him? Her whole body was like a big house with many rooms that she used to visit once but now only the ceiling of her mind flickered alive and sustained her. All her motions were on autopilot.

She looked at Kakashi, the deep violet circles around his only visible eye, the wound on his blind one, the sorrowful air he had always had around him. He was concerned, she could tell. Afraid, even. _Don't bother worrying about me_ , she wanted to say but she was too tired to speak.

Kakashi took her hand and led her to the car. Of course, he couldn't leave her out on the streets. She probably had to decline his care but… another sleepless night awaited her at home and he offered a change.

The car set off without them uttering a single word.

Sakura didn't follow the road, too busy meandering in her thoughts. Kakashi. Proudly standing after another death in his life. How, in the burning hell, did he manage? She glanced over to him as he drove, tranquility on his features. How was it possible to learn how to grieve without it destroying you? The man next to her was the ultimate mystery. Perhaps grieving was the reason he was so layered in clothes and silences.

Was that what she will become in the future? Was she looking at her future self? Indifferent, even, half-shell of a person with half-emotions; never fully sad, never fully happy; always walking on the thin thread between life and death. Sometimes succumbing to the darkness and sometimes, on rare occasions, gaining the strength to peer beyond it. Such destiny terrified her.

"Can you breathe properly with that mask?" Sakura blurted out the thought when she noticed he was intrigued by her prolonged observation.

He thought for a while before answering.

"It takes getting used to."

"Thought you'd say that." Sakura scoffed, turning aside to trace the line of lonely street lamps. She liked hearing his voice, it was simultaneously soothing and young. And so vast. She could listen to it for hours.

Sakura didn't ask where he led her. They soon arrived in front of an odd-looking, tall edifice with open square porches on levels only reached through sets of stairs and a solid metal railing to support them. It was nearly seven but the winter sun had disappeared behind the horizon long ago and all she could discern was outlines of the different apartments.

Kakashi parked the car in the narrow alley and as she was leaving the car she thought she's never seen that part of the city. That was way farther than her neighborhood but didn't seem to be prettier or richer than hers. Which calmed her down a bit. She expected fancy estates… turned out her captain was really hard to read.

She followed him, climbing up the outer stairway. Small whiffs of ice cold air grazed her skin and she shuddered, shrinking into her dark coat. At last, Kakashi ushered her into an apartment that visibly belonged to him, with everything neatly tucked in its place the same way it was not long ago when she visited his tent, at the base.

"You don't have to wear black all the time, you know," Kakashi spoke first, walking straight to his kitchen and tossing his keys on the nearest shelf.

The lamp was on in the second they entered and Sakura took a few seconds to adjust her eyes to the sudden light. The apartment was comparatively spacious, thanks to the interior trick – bedroom and living room were combined into one, with an outlet to a compact balcony. She noticed the kitchen was small but separated as well as two more rooms, down a corridor to her left.

"I don't feel like wearing anything else." Sakura pondered, her feet dragging her to the glass door across, removing her coat and leaving it on one of the armchairs she passed by. She had seen that kind of hostels - every level was the same, had the same size, the same balcony and a way up to the roof through the stairs.

It wasn't that she wore black because she mourned, it was because he wore it all the time. She needed to have the color against her skin so that she doesn't forget the feeling of it.

Kakashi returned, handing her a half-empty glass. Strong scent of spirit touched her nostrils but she welcomed it, raising it to satiate the burning dryness on her throat. Something told her Kakashi was staring at her from behind but she didn't turn, swallowing the contents of the glass and grimacing at the stinging sensations that went through her afterward.

The silence was so thick that they both could hear the distant howling of the wind that slid through cracks and searched for a way to breach through the sealed door. Mirthless scenery was set on the other side, no stars on the midnight blue above. Three weeks, two days and nineteen hours. She counted the days and hours like some addict in withdrawal. What was left for her to do anyway?

With a sigh, she tore her gaze away from the glass and shifted back to the kitchen, looking around to make sure she was going the right way. The apartment was nice… even cozy in a way, she had to admit. She could live in such a place.

Her fingers carefully placed the empty glass at the corner of the table and her eyes trailed over the kitchen's furniture. Looked like he rarely spent time home. She couldn't think of any other reason to have everything in such order. No man was that neat. Nevertheless, the military life twisted some beyond recognition and Kakashi was a classic case.

Did he expect her to act like she didn't know why he brought her here? Truth was, she knew why he didn't call the first week, didn't tell anyone where he was. She didn't blame him for whatever he did, with whoever he did it. But bringing her offended her a tad. Not because she'd be next in the row, not really. It stung her that he thought his medicine would work on her the way it did with him but that was all in his head. No medicine worked on her so far, this one wasn't an exception.

The slow footsteps caught her attention and she turned around to find Kakashi walking to her. Curious, he had taken down the mask and now it seemed like a completely different person stood before her. His soft features were ever so pleasant to her; always tired, always melancholic but still, always amicable.

She thought he wouldn't stop at all but he did and she had to slightly lean backward because he was a few inches away, peering into her eyes with no readable emotion.

As if there was nothing changed between them during those weeks.

But in fact, everything had.

She noticed him following her with his car once in a while when she went out, and it didn't bother her, he did it because he cared and because he knew she could do something stupid. He knew that she didn't trust herself. It wasn't the first time she strayed the streets, inebriated and lost.

After the first week, he called her. At nights. Forced her to talk to him. Didn't leave her alone with her demons and she appreciated it but everything looked like a set-up, a rehearsal. Perhaps he prepared her mentally for what he was about to do now.

He was in a t-shirt and his skin radiated a warm glow that enveloped her pleasantly. The closeness was, by all criteria, intrusive but she wasn't feeling attacked. With the tactfulness, a core of his very nature, he gave her the time to make a choice, while she submerged in the calm silence she always seemed to dive into when she was around him. Timeless, sorrowful sea that held no anger or hatred or frustration.

The kind of place she needed so badly in her life right now. For once, she wanted someone to save her, take care of her without bothering to ask if she wants to be saved.

Kakashi stepped up, his knee slipping between hers and lifting her thigh up as he pressed her back. Sakura leaned her palms on the table when she found herself sitting on it, her legs slightly spread apart. The angle was strange until Kakashi didn't press her further and her back almost touched the surface, the rim of her dress wrinkled upwards.

Sakura wasn't breathing, still with tension, but noting Kakashi's control slowly sweeping as his eyes skimmed over her form and pulled the elastic fabric on her up to reveal something that made him pause his every motion. Sakura still stared in his eyes but she knew what fazed him. Her lingerie, too, was black.

"I don't mind, go ahead." She said, to encourage him, but the sight had altered Kakashi's mood entirely. It was all over his face.

He battled a swirl of emotions within those seconds, then looked up to her eyes, with a renewed calmness.

"I don't care you'll imagine it's him." He leaned in, breathing in the pleasant aroma of the perfume on her neck.

Sakura wanted to smile. Because it was fair. Because he'd imagine another too. Brown hair, haunting hazel eyes, dark lips. The girl from that photo was beautiful but nothing like herself. Strange.

Kakashi laid her on the table completely and removed her dress with a slow pull over her head. Her lips parted open at the sensation of his warm tongue licking and kissing the sensitive spot under her ear. His fingers traced the curve of her waist with a single, artful movement and tugged at the black lace of her lower piece, pulling it down.

He moved to her mouth and pressed himself closer, eager to hear more of the loud sighs she let out every time he touched and pecked her tingled skin. Sakura wasn't sure if she had enough alcohol to do that. Only dread filled her heart now – that her passive behavior hurt Kakashi grandly, that she couldn't reply with the same passion, that she did not desire out of love but out of selfishness.

Sakura told herself she did that because the instinct of self-preservation called her, that she was in desperate need of an escape from that painful cul-de-sac. The strong character she kept collapsed down with a loud rumble and now fear overwhelmed her. Silent screaming switched the peace of mind she had previously built. Was Kakashi able to help discard all that madness? She doubted it. But she could help him and that was a nice cause.

She could try… to at least return the affection as if it's truly there. For all that he did for her, out of gratitude.

Her hands lifted up to his neck and she replied to his kiss, at last. He stopped and heaved up to look at her in the eyes with surprise. With a tight throat, she was certain that her voice will break off if she tries to speak so she just shrugged, looking up at him. She gave up on the fight.

Kakashi was relieved to see her yield and decided to continue kissing her for the moment, this time reached for her back, to the clutch of her bra. Sakura absently tried to find the buckle of his belt when a ringing of a phone startled them. A tormented growl came out of Kakashi as he slowly detached from Sakura and pulled out his phone, picking up.

"Yes?" He snapped, eyes nailed down at the tiled floor.

A long pause followed, ceased only by affirmative and negative answers from Kakashi and Sakura went up to a sitting position as she waited. Something bothered her.

Kakashi's face became paler and paler with every second and a furrow formed on her face. She gathered her dress and pressed it to her chest, to cover herself. She prayed it's not anything crucial. Neither of them both could take one more concussion. By the looks of it, the matters were serious.

"What?" Kakashi raised his eyes to Sakura's, filled with pure bewilderment.

 _What is it?_ Sakura mouthed, now generally concerned.

"Is what you're telling me the absolute truth?" Kakashi demanded, almost angry. "Why am I the last to know about this?" He paused, still gazing at Sakura. "I don't care. Call Amegakure's PD, tell them to contact me. I'll fly there tomorrow."

Sakura was at a loss. Those words revealed nothing to her. Were they sent on another mission?

"I'll get a permission, yes." Kakashi scoffed and hung up, squeezing the phone in his fist with unnecessary strength.

The pause prolonged and Sakura couldn't decide what the exact emotion Kakashi had fallen into at the moment was. He appeared frustrated and furious but amused in a way. She slid from the table and walked to him at a slow pace. Was it bad news? Her expression questioned.

"He's alive," Kakashi announced, a small smile twisting the sadness that gripped him from the second he hung up.

Sakura stood frozen in front of him, her mind refusing to make any sort of connection.

"Who's alive?"

"Sasuke." Kakashi sighed. "Imprisoned but alive. Seems like he needed hospitalization but they decided he could get it in a prison too, away from the society. And away from any form of media."

Sakura exhaled and inhaled, careful and slow. Repeated Kakashi's words all a few times before her eyes started to water and she was forced to use her dress to cover her face and the tears on it. God, she could breathe freely again. The heaviness in her chest started to lift and instead, joy threatened to strike her down with its suddenness. Was she dreaming?

The happiness faded in an instant when she realized she still stood in Kakashi's kitchen, almost naked.

What was she going to say now?

She slid down her dress and the very sight of him, standing there and watching her without a trace of what truly happened inside his heart, devastated her. She could only guess what pains rented through him. And yet he stood there, calm and collected, with the desire still burning in his eyes.

"Well." He said, ignoring her eyes.

A blush crept to her cheeks when she realized she stood in front of him only with her lingerie on and hurried to put her dress on and smoothen her hair nervously. Was saying sorry going to hurt him more? Probably. Sorry for what?

All the kindness he poured on her without her deserving a drop of it? All the support he wasn't obliged to give but did give her, nevertheless? Not once she managed to crawl out of her hole and think about how he feels like about it all, how he's living through it, taking him for granted.

"Kakashi," Sakura pronounced his name slowly, to buy herself time and think about her further words but nothing came to her mind. Her eyes looked up to him and she grimaced in pain.

She loved him but it was not the fire and the flames her body went through at the very thought of another one. She loved him because he was a good man, not for his love for her but for his love in general. His strength, principles, and honor. But she would never be able to dedicate herself the way she did to Sasuke.

"You know what, it's fine." Kakashi smiled at her. "But I'm gonna need you to go."

Sakura wanted to keep on crying when she heard the tone in which he said the words. Leaving him alone now was not the wisest thing she'd do but on the other side… perhaps her presence was only obstructive. He could use some peace of mind after her and after the news. But his tone forestalled a downfall, one that he wished to face alone.

"I want you to know…" Sakura stepped up, hand lifted up to reach for him but then she quickly changed her mind and stopped in mid-air. "That I am forever grateful to you and you can call me anytime, for anything."

"Not anything." He reminded, with a playful tinge.

Sakura withered at his remark but he laughed.

"Anyway. Come on, I'll drive you home." He nodded toward the door and soon disappeared in the other room.

Sakura swallowed down and brushed back her hair. There was no other way. She couldn't save everyone when saving meant to betray her heart. And she almost did.

* * *

"So, at least you know where I live now," Kakashi announced after they stopped in front of her apartment. "Come to visit sometime."

Sakura was silent all the way during the ride, unsure what to say. Her whole body trembled with all the emotions that surged through her. The excitement, the horror, the fear, the pain. The versatility of her situation was bringing her down, it required a flow of energy to cope with it, one that she hadn't got.

The raindrops clashed into the front window with an increasing consistency and filled her with uneasiness. If only it wasn't so hard.

She turned to Kakashi who was already looking at her, a little sad but overall composed.

"It was…" Sakura squeezed her bag closer, then took another breath, attempting to finish her sentence. "It was going to be you if…"

"I know." Kakashi helped her get out of the frustration and she nodded. "Sasuke is a lucky man to have you."

Sakura's lips parted in awe, then heat colored her cheeks.

"Uh… d-don't know about that." She muttered, looking down at the black clutch in her hands.

"Yeah, he is." Kakashi sighed with content. "I'll go to Amegakure tomorrow, to see what's going on. I suspect he's gone through some kind of trial. If so, he'll be laying in prison for a long time."

Sakura's face darkened at the thought but Kakashi noticed the change and hurried to add more.

"I'll make sure he's out as soon as possible. Although…" He paused, clicking with his tongue. "Deserters are particularly despised."

A small pause set between them and Sakura used it to place her palm over Kakashi's, now resting on the gear-lever. He raised a brow but said nothing.

"Don't worry about getting him out quickly or anything that's beyond your powers. All that matters to me is that you're both safe. Alright?" Sakura hoped he understood that he doesn't need to fulfill her every wish. She already hated herself for letting him down.

"Alright."

Kakashi looked down at their hands and then up to her a few times before she startled, backing away from him.

"Oh God, sorry." The blush returned to her face and she looked anywhere but Kakashi, drowning in embarrassment.

"It's fine." He couldn't help but smile, amused by the stellar changes in her emotional state.

She let out a puff and gathered the courage to look at him again.

"Okay, I'll go now."

"I'll call you tomorrow. If you want."

"Yes, I would love to!" Sakura's eyes lit up but then she furrowed, frightened of her own enthusiasm. It was time to end this because the shame was getting unbearable.

She was about to click her door open when she faced Kakashi again as if remembering something. Hesitation stopped her at first but then she leaned in and kissed him on the cheek quickly.

"Thank you so much." She whispered, before getting out of the car, fast enough to not see his reaction.

* * *

 _A/N: Shout out to people who have been in Kakashi's place at least once in their lives. Really sucks to be in that situation. Thanks for reading! (And waiting for me to update.) Been wanting to work on my descriptions because I like dialogues way too much, I overdo them. I kinda like how that chapter turned out, hope you will too. Love describing emotional conditions. I think it's safe to say the sad chapters are over. I will likely have Sasuke back in the next one. Now that I've passed all of my exams (actually failed one), I think I should be able to write more._

 _P.S. Decided I'm not replying to comments anymore. So thanks to all the kind and unkind and in-the-middle words I've received till now._

* * *

 _Sorry,_ _ **Esther-himechan,**_ _you're probably getting grumpy Uchiha in the next chapter lol._

 _ **Alazia,**_ _dear, your review totally made my year. Thank you for the kind words. I hope you'll like it all 'till the end._

 _ **ohmedea,**_ _I'm flattered that you've read it all in a night and that you like the setting, I like darkness and dystopian stuff so much and thought that no one's ever written a dystopian SS so yeah. This is it._

 _ **pampolhini,**_ _thanks for leaving a review, love! Hope you like it ahead._


	28. King of Sorrows, Queen of Hearts

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in it.**

* * *

 **XXVIII.**

 **\- King of Sorrows, Queen of Hearts -**

Sakura swore to end that friendship if she called one more time. Once a week was nice. Three times a week was touching. Fifteen times a week was neither. It's been two months and a half since she heard the news. Sasuke laid through his rightful sentence in Amegakure's prison, somewhere far and away from her and she had to wait two weeks more to see him.

The days and nights have never been longer in her life. She didn't bother Kakashi with many questions, certain that every word concerning Sasuke would hurt him. So she sat quiet, at home. He told her everything she needed to know – how he's truly been in that former police department, how they've barely managed to save him, how they've put him in prison right away so that no one could suspect anything.

Kakashi went to visit him a few times but Sakura did not receive any details about those visits. As far as she knew, deserters laid in prison between three and five months but Kakashi told her they've shortened the sentence to a minimum because after an interrogation he's admitted he's had intentions of returning to his platoon. Which, Kakashi explained, put him in the AWL category. Absence without leave was the less harsh state than desertion.

Overall, the situation was hazy to her but Kakashi assured her everything was fine.

"This is not helping, Ino." Sakura sighed, slowly laying her head on the table.

"You know what, I'm gonna come to your apartment, we'll watch a movie and I'll make you a big cup of hot chocolate, I just made one for Sai. I see him approaching me." Ino made a pause, muting the phone for a second. Sakura started playing with the end of the window curtain as she waited. Ino was not late. "I've put salt instead of sugar."

"Don't come. I want some silence, my head is buzzing. Bye." Sakura closed her eyes and left no time for her friend to reply, hanging up.

She let out a quiet moan.

What was she supposed to do for two weeks? The anticipation was pooling in her stomach already. This apartment became utterly dull when she spent more than a few weeks in it. Looking back, now she thanked the heavens she accepted the job of a field medic. The job promised to bring the excitement she always seemed to crave after having enough of Konoha.

Just that right now a mission was not what she wanted.

With another sigh, Sakura stood from the chair and went to wash it in the kitchen. What time was it? She glanced back at the cute clock that hung over her bedframe in the other side of her vast dining room-and-bedroom into one. Still the early afternoon… so she could go for a quick walk without raising suspicion.

The skies were dark but it didn't scare her, she had an umbrella with her anyway. This time, she left her phone at home… and her wallet. In fact, the only thing she took was the umbrella. Like hell she'd let Ino call her and ruin her precious moments alone.

Sakura put her coat on and locked her apartment, hurrying down the stairs. Hands in her pockets, she realized she hadn't been for a walk in a week and it was a shame she didn't go out more. True, there was a horrible wind and dust and annoying drizzles that got on her nerves… and she was mostly in the mood of laying in her bed, curled under blankets, reading or thinking.

She shook her head. Walking was way healthier. That she lacked the drive to move was another matter. Also, neurology books were her guilty pleasure.

The blow of the wind ascended a whirl of leaves in front of her when she opened the door to the street and stepped out. But as she raised her eyes to follow their flight with a small smile on her lips, her breath ceased and her motions froze. There was a spasm-like sensation, like a wave that went through her and weakened her at the sight. And her heart suddenly dipped into exhaustion and pain and longing.

He had crossed the street, why stop there, at the very entrance?

Sakura wasn't sure whether to give away her presence just yet. It was like a weight-cavalry that waged against her and she was all alone. Unarmed and unprepared. Her eyes watered but she stood tall, determined to fight against the weakness.

He was nothing like what she remembered last, this version was hollow-cheeked and leaner, and overall tired. Very tired. Whatever they did with him in that prison, it has left a mark. There was something different, too. His hair was longer.

Sasuke was in heavy doubt, staring down and thinking about something with his characteristic intent when she swallowed and took the few steps to him, closing the distance between them. She had to smile, she had to but her face remained expressionless.

A mild shudder went through him when she stopped in front of him, meeting his eyes unapologetically.

"How long have you been standing here?" Sakura asked, eyeing his worn-out and way too thin for that weather clothing.

He ignored her eyes with inconvenience, taking short breaths as if the question required some major concentration.

"A few hours."

Sakura's lips parted open in horror.

"How many, exactly?"

"I don't know."

Sakura had to use her sleeve to brush those stubborn tears that welled up in her eyes against her will. Alright. Lots of work for her but she could handle it, of course, she could. Worse things happened, didn't bring her down.

She reached for his hand and entwined it with hers, slowly pulling him back up to her apartment. Took her a bit of a struggle to unlock the door only with one hand but letting him go was out of the question. There was uneasiness inside of him; like he wanted to stay away from her but her grip was stronger than that desire.

Sakura pushed the door open, at last, and shut it after they entered, letting him go. Sasuke looked around as she leaned her back on the door and observed his odd reaction. His eyes scanned the space around them for a quick estimation. Missed that military tic, Naruto did it once when he came to visit her. Scouting unknown areas for threats as if her apartment could ever hold a danger of any kind. He searched for something or… someone. Another figure?

"Are you coming straight from the…" Sakura dropped the last word, looking down as she surrounded him and walked to the kitchen counter, leaving the keys on it.

"Yes."

"Kakashi brought you?"

"Yes."

There was a brief pause before she decided to speak again, voice shaking. Her hands automatically started tidying up the glasses and the boxes in front of her in a new order.

"I thought you still have two weeks."

"They let me out on bail. Kakashi took care of everything."

Sakura closed her eyes for a moment, thanking God for Kakashi and his kind heart. Tears fell from her eyes but she covered them with hand. She tried to take a breath but found that to be a particularly hard task. Quiet footsteps neared her and she shook with a barely suppressed sob.

"Sakura." Sasuke pulled her and she leaned on him, trembling. "Don't cry."

"I wanted to hear your voice for so long." She whispered, fist grabbing the matter of his shirt in a slight panic. "And when they told me I will never hear it again I didn't know what to do."

Sasuke raised her chin and looked at her, waiting as she gradually lost the fear in her eyes and acquired a healthy dose of pink on her cheeks. She blinked, backing away a bit.

"You look weird like that," Sakura admitted, scanning his scruffy appearance. "Don't they give haircuts to the prisoners?"

"Not really." He sighed.

"I have scissors." Sakura chuckled, gesturing at the bathroom. "And warm water."

He observed her for a while, the furrow on his face gave out a growing uneasiness but knowing him, she was certain he wouldn't share if she didn't coerce him to. At recalling the fact that he's been hanging outside her apartment for God knows how long her heart spasmed again.

"What is it?" She peered into his eyes with concern. "Are you hungry? I have plenty of food."

Sasuke waited out for any other suggestions she could have until she decided to remain silent, in hope that he'd speak his mind. Somehow, Sakura was too uneasy about it. Since he walked in it's been like walking over thin ice.

"I'm not here because I have nothing now and you're the only one who-" He stopped abruptly, frightened by the crack in his voice. Sakura was struck by the unexpected urge to let him fall deeper into his own deadlock because he was so delightfully bad at emotions and that flicker of helplessness gave to his eyes a new charm.

"Who what?" Sakura whispered, holding back a bitter smile.

He took a deep breath and stared right into her.

"Cares."

Sakura tilted her head.

"Is that why you stood outside for so long? You thought I won't let you inside because you don't deserve to be here?" She paused, putting a finger on her lips in thought. Sasuke withered with every word she uttered, so she thought she'd have her small revenge fulfilled as gracefully as it began. "That it's fair if I leave you outside, for everything you did?"

He looked at her, with humility she had never seen before, waiting for her sentence like a heretic standing before a monocratic Inquisition. Oh dear, she loved that look so much. Defeat. Resignation. Especially guilt. Guilt was weaved around his head at all times, as a crown that grew heavier with time but he couldn't put off. They both knew neither of the categories in which he excelled her mattered now.

"And I deserve to be with someone else?" She added but he changed at the sound of those particular words, pouting at her. So what? He could say nothing. Do nothing.

Was that how it felt to be a royal? No one had the power to object your words, no one dared to. Laughter came out of her and lifted off her invincibility. She didn't usually enjoy making people suffer but this was an exception. The way he still looked at her, the way he nailed on her mouth when she laughed as if he was having a divine revelation while listening to her convinced her that playing or not, their states wouldn't change.

He'd always seek her mercy. She'd always grant it because the love she had for him was gushing over and one heart wasn't enough for her to store it.

Sakura heaved a heavy sigh and stood on her tiptoes, aiming to get her face as close as she could to his. Then she reached for his face and lifted a lock of his raven hair up in the air, amused by his complete lack of response.

"Go take a shower. I'll prepare something we can eat. I'm hungry too. Deal?" She looked into his eyes, in anticipation, and was glad to see the tension in them gradually abating until it dissolved to none. He nodded.

Whatever had happened during their time apart, the making up could be postponed for now. Sakura didn't even wait for him to head for the bathroom to remove her coat and get on with checking her fridge. Oh great, she still had from the ramen soup Naruto brought her yesterday. He was overjoyed with the news of Sasuke's _resurrection_ and since then he visited her quite a lot.

He mentioned that ramen soup is his favorite food, of all time, and she definitely had to taste it once in her life and since they were celebrating the good news every chance they got she invited him over so that they could both prepare it together. Naruto was a bit more enthusiastic about the soup than he had to but overall the whole evening went perfect, the ramen was delicious. They talked about food and then the subjects rolled one by one, and they soon found themselves drinking alcohol and laughing at stupid jokes with the moon already up high in the sky.

Sakura decided to warm the soup up, pulling it out of the fridge.

She hadn't laughed like that in such a long time. Naruto was always so bright and she remembered hugging him on his way out of her apartment, thanking him for lending some of his undying hope. While in most people it was scarce, it was excessive with him. Such people were so rare that she felt blessed to know him and, matter-of-fact, had a hard time letting him go from that hug.

By the time she put her own cup on the small table behind her, Sasuke was finished with his shower and came to join her. As he sat across her, she could only wonder how they ended up eating dinner in her apartment after everything that they went through – he, with his wet hair and unrecognizable humbleness and she – staring at him, radiant with joy and just as in love as she has always been.

She had to admit, the humbleness didn't really suit him. He was so aristocratic, in so many ways, that she had grown used to his arrogance, taking it as a permanent trait of his. Not that this Sasuke was less extraordinary or less intriguing for her, it just left an impression in her that he was different now. She wondered if he found out the truth about his brother.

They ate in silence but she caught something in between, in the absence of his movements, the heavy thought he was wandering into since they started… He was visibly restless and desperate in trying to fight it but the suspense was still there, between them, like a heavy block of stone. Sakura stopped eating at one time, noticing that he gripped the spoon with unusual strength and didn't move for one long moment before leaving it on the table.

"What did Kakashi mean with _she's been through a lot, be careful with her?"_ Sasuke finally broke the silence, looking up.

Sakura raised a brow. Unusual question.

"I don't know. Why?"

"What happened when I was away? Why do you have so many sedatives in your bathroom?"

"Nothing. I just, uh…" Sakura shrugged, trying to find words. "I missed you and…"

Sasuke furrowed, perhaps at first agreeing with her answer but then he slightly narrowed eyed at her, as if seeing a new detail he's missed by now.

"There's something more. What is it?"

"Nothing." Sakura gave out a nervous, breathy laugh. What was with him? "I just mourned you, it was… an awful experience f-for me."

Sasuke leaned in and grabbed her hand, the motion causing her sleeve to fall down a bit and reveal a circular scar around her delicate wrist. Sakura gasped at the suddenness of it, feeling her head whirl for a moment, but she made no sound while he inspected the scar and then released her just as sharply as he grabbed her.

"Who was it?"

The pause extended as Sakura's expression darkened with every passing second. Her lips opened a few times before she could form any words.

"A-akatsuki. Abducted me the night you left."

"What did they do to you?" His firm voice echoed unnaturally in the small space of her apartment.

Sakura turned slowly to meet his eyes but he was looking down, though his expression was far from tranquil. Jaw clenched, his gaze pierced through the particular point in the table he was currently focused on.

"Let's not talk about this," Sakura suggested, the bitterness in her tone destroying any attempt to sound cheerful.

"What did they do to you?" Sasuke demanded, raising his voice.

Sakura looked at her hands and hurried to clench them in fists so that they'd stop shaking but it had a little effect. At least her expression remained unbreakable, as she forced herself to remain calm.

He finally faced her, anger simmering in his eyes. Sakura swallowed, giving him a mirthless smile in hopes that it'd appease him in some way. Funny thought.

"Uh, they…" Her voice rapidly lost her power and faltered and with it, her eyes watered, escaping his right away. She couldn't possibly take the shame of that truth and look at him in the eye as she did it. "Raped me. Took turns." There. She said it out loud. Freed herself of it. Why did it have to scare her that much? Was that truth worth her life and her happiness stolen away from her? Did it have to define her? No… but nightmares and visions still haunted her and only medications helped there.

The continuous silence bothered her all the more so she gathered the courage to look up again. Wonder changed her expression at once, noticing the heavy glimmer in Sasuke's eyes. She couldn't quite tell if he was on the edge of breaking down mentally or those were just ireful tears. Perhaps both. His breathing quickened gradually, his skin getting slightly paler. He looked… sick.

He stood up sharply and disappeared from her sight, leaving her at a loss. A few seconds she stood there, staring at the empty chair before her and failing to comprehend the situation. Was he disgusted? Or he hadn't expected it? The click of the front door wrested Sakura out of her daze.

Did he just leave?

She stood up, trailing him at a slow pace. With every step, her heart became heavier and she began questioning herself if she really wanted to catch up with him. She didn't even know how to read his actions. What if he didn't want to be with her at all after hearing that? Why was he so… upset?

It's not like he had somewhere to go. Naruto lived on the other side of the city.

She sighed and walked down the stairs of the block of flats and got out in the street, eyes searching for Sasuke. He was already far when she called his name and ran to him as quickly as she managed.

"Wait… Sasuke!"

"What?"

She touched his hand, flinching back when he faced her.

"A-are you alright?" Sakura furrowed, reaching for his forehead but he recoiled, avoiding the touch.

"Alright?" He repeated, narrowing eyes. "No. I'm not _alright_."

Sakura opened her mouth to speak but was overwhelmed by his unusual state. As wrathful as he appeared, tears fell from his eyes. A curious sight, she had never actually seen an emotion in him strong enough to take over. He could barely hold the dam, it seems. That information might've been too much, she had to consider a softer approach in advance but it was over now. Probably the blunt way she said it was the better one.

Sakura neared him slowly and hugged him as gently as she could.

"Do you know who-" His voice broke off but he forced it through, although as a whisper, "…carried you back to your tent that night? If I hadn't-"

"It's not your fault." Sakura hurried to say, her hands making assuring motions up and down his back. "This has nothing to do with you."

"It is my fault." He fumed at her. "I am guilty. You can't change the fact."

"Don't burden yourself with that. What happened is in the past. Leave it all there."

"I can't." He snapped harshly, making her flinch away again. But the motion frightened him and he wrapped her closer immediately. "I can't. The past is everything I have."

Sakura closed her eyes for a second, trying to come up with something that would calm him down. His embrace was so desperate that she was left speechless. He clung to her as if he was out of time; as if afraid she would forbid his touch any second.

"Sasuke," She shifted, trying to find his eyes. "Look at me."

"I told you to stay away from me." His darkness peered into her light, seeking an escape and begging for forgiveness. "I told you but you didn't listen."

Sakura gave him a half-smile, tucking back a lock of his hair, then her thumb wiped the silent tears that fell from his eyes.

"Why are you smiling?" He asked in a low-voice.

"Tenten warned me you're a drama queen." Sakura snickered, wrapping her hands around him. "You should really kiss me already, you know."

His eyes nailed on her mouth immediately and she could feel heat has colored her cheeks in a deep pink. Was she to blame for reacting at every touch and glance, though? She's seen how women look at him, she's seen how men look at him too, and he never cared for anyone but the way he looked at her now she'd name anything but indifference.

He brushed her hair back, his eyes tinting in their softest, as much as black could be soft. Thoughtful above anything else, they looked at her as if seeing her for the first time. The observation rose heavy inconvenience in Sakura and she found herself blushing against her will. The red only deepened when he leaned to place a kiss on her forehead.

She didn't move, busy with making attempts to calm her heart, currently beating furiously in her chest. Well, she didn't say where he had to kiss her.

"Let's-" Sakura opened her mouth but he silenced her with another kiss, sending a wave of shivers down her spine along with a spreading dizziness in her mind. Was that how people felt before blacking out?

When he pulled away from her she took a loud breath, astonished and terrified at the same time. He held her, and thank God he did, she was a numb puppet in his arms, powerless and feeble. She couldn't recall words in her quaked mind or how to order them. On the other half, his sadness was switched by curiosity as he observed her sharp reaction, still and silent, as if a tad pleased with it but mostly frightened that he's done damage rather than captivate.

Sasuke helped her get back to her apartment but she recovered not until they sat on the table again. He was leaning in, heavy concern on his features as she blinked, focusing on reality. She muttered a short excuse and grabbed her spoon once again.

"You know what…" She took a breath and froze for a second, eyeing the distance between them. Then she pulled her chair to the other side and left it pasted to his. "Better." Her eyes met his in a brief moment before she began eating again, her arm touching his.

He didn't object, to her great relief. Instead, he asked her to tell him all about the time she spent after he left. Under the pretext that he didn't know a thing. Sakura doubted he was overly interested in that information, all the more Kakashi had surely filled him in on the important details so perhaps he only wanted to hear her speak. Either that or he had grown to hate silence, deciding that he's lived in it for too long.

They squandered the afternoon in talking and tea and Sakura almost choked on tears of happiness once or twice. Ino called a few times too but she didn't pick up, taking the most of her unexpected guest. She could see he was near collapse and tired to the bone so she offered him the bed at one time – a specific subject she didn't want to touch yet but judging from his weariness, holding him awake at that late hour was downright cruel.

There was this slight fear that she wasn't ready after what happened to her but then again… she was breathing within an odd bubble now, where fear didn't exist and where she couldn't quite find her doubts and worries. The space was so safe that it comforted her and she had fused with Sasuke on a mental level. Whatever his mood was, it was hers too. And the phenomenon assured her that even if he inclined toward the physical, she wouldn't mind. Nothing he did could go against her.

It was the late evening when she mentioned the bed and he stood still for a while, thinking of what to say. Sharing the idea of both of them sleeping in the same bed awoke the same uneasiness he always acquired when he was against something that he couldn't control, it seems. Didn't have to be a problem, Sakura wanted to say but remained silent instead, certain that it'd help him with making a decision, whatever it is.

"I shouldn't…" He ignored her eyes, focusing on the cup of tea in front of him. "I'd rather not."

"No, it's perfectly alright." Sakura smiled, touching the back of his hand with one delicate motion. He noticed it but didn't comment on it, tracing her fingers as they slowly backed away. "I sleep on the right side, though. For the record."

His eyes met hers, questioning her intentions. Only that Sakura wasn't sure about them on hundred percent. If she was, she would've given him clear signs and would've altered his own intentions toward her from the moment he came.

"Are you sure about this?" He hesitated.

Oh, no. She couldn't answer that one but given the fact that their conversation had two contexts she couldn't miss using them properly.

"Yeah… I'll just go take a shower before I join you." Sakura smiled at him again, standing up. She gathered the teacups and headed for the kitchen, turning her back on him. "I don't have male clothes so I guess you'd sleep in your shirt." She glanced back at him, playfully. "Unless if you want some of my big pink t-shirts. Or me, calling dad and asking him to lend some of his clothes."

"No, thanks." He scoffed.

Both variants sounded promising, though. If it was her, she would've agreed to the second one, just for the show. She sighed and turned the light in the kitchen off.

Her next destination was the bathroom, of course, and she almost started stripping as she walked to it, the way she did for years now, but she reminded herself that she had company and throwing clothes everywhere was not wise at the moment. At the threshold, she glanced back at Sasuke and stopped to look at him.

"What's wrong?"

He was sitting on the bed and trying the matter of the blanket between his fingers.

"First time I get to sleep on a normal bed in months." Came the absent reply.

"You'll love it." Sakura smiled at him again and disappeared behind the door. She stripped her clothes and turned the water on, making her best to ignore the dilemma hanging over her. The warmth of the water ran down her skin and she exhaled slowly, to calm the rushing heartbeat in her chest.

Sasuke would never hurt her, she could swear on it, he probably wouldn't mind if she refused him, too. Then what concerned her? Letting him down? No… maybe just a lingering fear that those memories will flush back and ruin her experience and that would repeat every time she wants to be with him. Why not talk to him about it? He was quick to understand and such a great listener. That was a nice decision. Yes, she will totally go and talk to him.

Sakura stopped the water and wrapped herself and her hair with a towel. She clicked the door open and prepared to speak out but the words stuck in her throat, stupefied. It took her quite a few minutes to get her systems back working. Her feet slowly dragged her closer to the bed and she barely breathed, leaning in to pull the blanket over him as gently and as quietly as possible. He must've been dreadfully tired, if he needed five minutes to fall asleep.

That sight… she thought it was long gone and she'd never witness it again and that's why she treasured it in the deepest part of her heart, tucked it there as a relic of some past memories she wanted to forget. But it was so hard, spending those nights alone in her apartment, convinced that he's dead and gone, without a single drop of hope. That was when she remembered him, sleeping the same way he did right now. Tired of this world's chaos and pain… at peace; a peace that only that state allowed him; the borderline between life and death.

The beauty of it took her breath away.

But it was too cold for her to stand there bare and she reluctantly gave up on the observation, off to put her underwear and sleeping t-shirt on, and get under the blankets.

Talking with him was going to happen another day and, strange, she was only relieved that circumstances made this day and this night easy for her.

Sakura turned the lights off and relaxed in her bed with a content smile.

* * *

 _A/N: Thanks for reading. First of all, I felt like splitting this enormous chapter I wrote into two. Second, I... am not sure why people expect smut-smut because what I write doesn't really fit into the genre, it's more like non-explicit smuff (?), which is what I like writing most because it describes my notion of writing sex best? For people that wonder why I don't write only smut or only fluff, I just can't. I am constantly walking between dirty and cute and it seems that there is this artistic line between the two that I belong to and that I can get away with. And third, I feel like the next chapter has to be through Sasuke's POV. It just makes it sexier for me lol. (Should be no more than a day until I update again.)_

 _P.S. Sorry if this all feels off and not joyful enough. Writing happiness, as you might've already guessed, is not my strongest side. I am an old citizen in the city of Angst._


	29. Pillowtalk

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in it.**

* * *

 **XXIX.**

 **\- Pillowtalk -**

He opened his eyes with a desperate need for air and a heaviness that came with it, pressing down his chest with a tangible force. He attempted to take a breath, then he tried a second time, a third, he couldn't manage, fighting for it with all the strength he had. It got better after a few long seconds but the darkness didn't help at all; his first thought was to stand up to a sitting position or walk, to cast that heaviness away, as he did in the prison cell but his senses reminded him he was elsewhere.

The softness of the blankets was different, the mattress too - not the rigid, thin one that allowed you to feel the metal lattice beneath carving into your skin every single night. Such punishment was missing here, this bed was built for something else entirely.

He tried to calm his breathing, heaving up after all.

That was a new one. He had plenty of strange dreams during his weeks in prison, all of them awful but that one was new. The panic, the fear, the despair have never been so vivid through his eyes after seeing and living through those odd and unfamiliar fragments.

A switch of a soft reading-light startled him and he turned to see Sakura looking at him, with bloodshot eyes and tears running down her face. At first, guilt struck him but then he thought he couldn't possibly be the reason for those tears, she was so happy a few hours ago. She looked as if she's been crying for at least an hour in the silence of the night. And not out of happiness. Did she recall unpleasant past-time memories or a nightmare hadn't given her the peace of mind she sought?

She sat up too, hugging the matter of the blanket close. Didn't bother wiping her tears away because they fell and fell, constantly. She tilted her head, a small smile appearing on her lips; then she shifted closer to him, leaning her forehead on his temple.

"What happened?" Sakura whispered in his ear, her voice like a balm for the pulsing ache that nightmare had created in his head.

She must've heard his not-so-quiet struggle with that nightmare if she already knew the existence of it. It stung him that her first reaction was to seek how to comfort him instead of talking about her own tears. It was so… her. Anyway, he didn't know how to explain because he didn't remember action, he only remembered a feeling. Gnawing, a monster of a feeling that haunted and suffocated him.

Sakura backed away, her hand gently turning his head towards her so that she could read through him, like she usually did. Her eyes now serene and focused, stared at him in wait. Those celadon orbs, like jewels of their own, always waiting, always patient and always caring.

He reached for her face, caressing the pale skin. That was it, the reason he acted like that all this time. He turned furious because she reminded him of those damned cherry trees he grew up with. Blossoming every spring no matter if they were surrounded by death or life, war or peace. He hated them for that. He hated them because they still blossomed even though he kept losing everything he held dear.

His own war was over, there was no need to hate anymore; he had to remind himself that every day now.

She didn't move but he was almost sure she couldn't, too fazed to do so.

"I couldn't find you." He finally found the right words to describe his most vivid fear, his hands surrounded her waist, pulling her closer. "I couldn't return."

Sakura seemed relieved at his answer and proceeded to meet his lips, touching them only to receive his fervent reply. She was so delicate and so fascinating for him that he couldn't help it. One thing dragged him most of all – that she wasn't acting, that she knew who she was and what she wanted, in comparison to all these women that claimed his attention. They were all passing and searching and trying. Sakura always treated him as if they knew each other ten lives long.

That alone attracted him in such extreme quantities that he found himself desperate to kiss her, her lips, her neck, everywhere. He didn't think much, amidst the staggering fit they had fallen into, when his hand slipped down her underwear and remained generally surprised to find the matter moist.

"I've been thinking about you." She gave him a sorry smile.

There was a tumble in his stomach at the confession but then the afterglow came with a rather unpleasant taste.

"And crying?"

Sakura parted her lips to say something but she stopped herself, letting out a quiet groan. Her brows wrinkled and she turned sorrowful within seconds, in front of his very eyes. Tears formed at the corners of her eyes and she hurried to brush them away, ignoring his concerned look.

"Uh, I th- I…" She chuckled nervously, smoothing her hair. "It's just…" Sakura looked up to him for a second and then cupped her face with hands.

"You don't want this?"

"I do." She wearied, gathering the courage to face him again. "And I don't. I've just been thinking and I realized you won't stay and I'm gonna hurt until the end of my life," She paused, struggling to take a breath, "because I'll remember the way you look at me now."

"You think I won't stay."

"Why would you?" Sakura shrugged. "People like us… they don't usually have a future. With that job and… always on the run… different partners." She opened another pause. "T-that's the truth."

Her words pierced through him like swords and he sank deeper into his muteness. She was so certain that he'd hurt her. How did he let himself end up like that in her eyes? True, he wasn't a light burden and he certainly wasn't a nice company. But he could've been different and show her it was all different with her. That he did all that until now didn't mean he would do it again. Why didn't he show her?

"I'm sorry." He said, leaning to kiss her. "I'm sorry. Tell me how many times I have to say it until you forgive me." The words rolled out of him as a sigh and he pressed her closer, begging. "I don't want to leave, don't send me away."

"I'd never." Sakura hurried to hug him, letting his head lean on her shoulders. "How can you even think I would ever do that?"

He's never been guilty through her eyes, is what she said, and it was like a whiff of emotion that skimmed over him at the insight. Emotion most tender. She backed away a tad, clearly having something in mind.

Sakura slowly reached for the ends of her t-shirt and stripped it off. Then she did the same with her underwear. He could see her hands shaking as she enveloped herself but dared not face him. Her small form appeared so fragile and weak when she shrank like that.

He never took a moment to realize it cost her a lot to be so vulnerable. It only angered him because his harsh ways only humiliated and underrated her so far. Frustration burned her face red but her message was clear enough to him. She wouldn't do any of this for anyone else and the thought only fueled his selfish desire to have her. She gave herself to him. All of her, and let him watch as she did it.

He neared and reached for her hair, pushing it aside to reveal the delicate skin that it hid. Her slight shaking was switched by a shiver when his lips hurried to graze the soft spot under her ear, her chest heaving up by the sip of air she took.

"S-Sasuke." Her eyes almost fluttered shut when he continued down her neck and let her head fall back.

She was so cold, she was always so cold and he wanted to have her skin on fire and pressed against his so badly. Now.

Her skin was toned to perfection but still with the basic, beautifully feminine shape and he caught himself admiring her for longer than she perhaps anticipated; she observed him with curiosity as his eyes studied her with the same admiration he was filled with the last time she was in front of him naked. The curve of her waist, the flat stomach, and those voluptuous hips. He could feel the throb of his own blood hazing his thoughts at the sight of her. Her eyes were a dim mint but they were stilled on his for a second before falling to his lips; forcing him to remove his own clothing as fast as he could because that look of hers threatened to destroy him if he didn't do something about it.

Sakura was first to reach for him, wrapping her legs around him and entwining their tongues in a deep, bold kiss; one that he didn't know she would ever take a lead of.

He was about to lay them on the mattress but Sakura abruptly joined their bodies before he could do it; not that she didn't have the patience, she just seemed to want a change. It was some kind of madness that obsessed her in that very moment of unity, her expression turned almost festive and after a shattered gasp of pain, her lips curved in a smile.

Thanks to her incredible closeness, she must've noticed his pupils widen vastly at the friction. Unfortunately, he exposed what he tried to hide for the longest of time; she had always had that effect on him. She revealed him, a drug addict who just infused his blood with something highly narcotic. He recognized the fire that burned in her eyes and reconciled with it, slowly relaxing back on the pillow.

His breath hitched when she ground forward to reach his lips. She was so tight that it drove him wild, every supple motion she made. Her cold fingers slid up his chest slowly, leaving icy trails that teased and tensed him. His patience ran low but he decided to let her enjoy herself a bit more, she was an absolutely bewitching sight - her darkened eyes glimmered mischievously, mouth half-open, taking in shallow breaths of air, her hair - disheveled but captivating and her air, dangerously alluring in a way that was only specific for her, not of a temptress but of an enchantress. She was closer to a forest spirit than anything, with that hued skin and inspiring touch.

He didn't want to close his eyes, for the vision of beauty could disappear if so, but he did, unprepared for the electrifying pleasure that coursed through him when she started moving again. It wasn't even a rhythm yet and she got her name spoken out loud, in a strangled absence. Any thought he tried calling to mind had now disappeared, sinking in the stunning zest of that particular collision, where for once she was dominating instead of him. Sakura was unhurried in her streak of excruciating withdrawals and supple thrusts, and he couldn't comprehend the feeling to its fullest, taking half-breaths and uttering half-curses. Swearing didn't really help him explain how essential her body was to him at the moment but she didn't seem to mind either, bits of moans and whimpers shedding off her lips at the end of every lunge. Damn this woman, he wasn't that easy.

"You okay?" She gave out a breathy chuckle, seemingly affected by the various physical sensations that attacked him after her leisured tempo. Sakura had transformed into a sensual, nocturnal goddess and he couldn't believe her sweet benevolence was brought down to him, he was the one she had chosen. Her loitered but precise grating against him severed through all the notions he has had concerning with his own endurance as invisible shudders ran through him and already gathered as a delightful ache in his lower stomach.

He almost begged her to not stop out loud, hands digging into her flesh; his words now switched by labored groans when she intentionally slowed down her pace even more but, to contribute to his growing discomfort, deepened the thrusts. Morphed into one sensitive bundle of nerves, he was fully subservient to her and pleaded for mercy or release from the anguish she brought but then again he didn't want to finish before her. He wanted to return the favor, it was her turn to burn at the stake. All the more, going that slow was killing him.

Sasuke grabbed her and reversed their places, lifting her leg up to his high waist with one hand while the other held her nape up when he pressed her body against the mattress without giving her time or a chance to object.

He didn't know which he longed more for, in all this time they spent apart, her melted cries when he was inside of her or the feeling of home she gave to him, hands and legs wrapped around him as if he was welcome and urgently needed. It wasn't supposed to be this way, he wasn't supposed to attach to anything or anyone, much less grow addicted, but he couldn't help it.

She writhed beneath his touch, molded like a pliable clay, warm and soft as such. Softness so maddening that he wanted to possess it for as long as he could, him and no one else. The painfully familiar pulsing of the slithery velvets between her legs cut him loose and he barely held the façade of keeping the control. She was the one who led in that competition but was never to know that, of course. It was better for her to not know the failing weakness that he became when he was with her in those ultimate revelations of theirs; when he crashed into her the way sea waves crashed into the shore, hopeless and relentless.

Their lips met briefly because Sasuke didn't want to miss an inch of her, caressing the exposed pink of her flaring skin while she sighed in loud tides; especially now that her head was thrown back and her spine - tensed into an impossible arch along his body, like she was a part of it.

He usually held his breath, overpowering the frailties that stormed his core but she had set that thrilling rhythm of hers again, when her fingers gripped and marked him whenever he hurt more than pleased, when her hips heaved and thighs ground against his; stealing and thinning his sanity away.

She loved it, he could tell by the way her whole entity shivered with pleasure and her skin prickled. Loved him chanting low in her ears with frantic need, quivering every time the desperate tones reached her. She incandesced to the pressure he applied, moaning with a clarity he hadn't heard before, and he tried to focus on it, discarding the slight fatigue that started to bother him. He lost track of time but time mattered a little now, he wanted only to extend it, wade deeper and satiate in this ecstatic indulgence, and only take and take and take.

His point of breaking hit him like an avalanche and he could do nothing about it, his voice trembling with the dazing weakness and effusing in descending snatches. Words fell off his lips but he couldn't really define them because there was a throbbing white bliss spreading across every nerve in his body, one that devoured everything else. He nearly stilled but Sakura absently urged him to continue and her muscles contracted at her own peak almost right away, the purely physical sensation making him collapse into that absorbing, pleasurable ripple from before all over again; it felt so damn gratifying and it was unfair that it lasted only a moment.

"You're welcome." Sakura exhaled a reply in his ear, the air vibrating with her silent chuckle.

Breathing heavily, he found her mouth and started kissing her again, in desperate need to prolong the heavenly fragment he touched whenever she allowed. God, he adored her. He adored her as much as a man can adore a woman.

Sakura was smiling, though, while their kiss still lasted. He had mixed feelings about that smile, it was her ultimate dominance over him but he didn't care about that, it was a blessing, too.

"You couldn't let me… be in charge for… more than a minute." She spoke with pauses, amused. "I thought you'd like it."

"You thought wrong." He parted from her only to reply and leaned to kiss her again but she giggled, making him change his target.

"Liar."

Sakura pursed her lips tight, trying to keep from laughing when he gently sucked on the skin of her low neck. Her right leg slid and wreathed around his, dragging up and down his calf in a few slow, smooth motions but he soon heaved up to meet her eyes, irritated.

"What?" She asked, innocently.

As much as he was prone falling victim to his own susceptibility (especially when it came to one woman's touch in particular), he really needed to sleep.

"Stop."

She did stop, maybe deciding to not overdo it the first time. Maybe he was too harsh with her, that's why. Because he was just way too tired and not admitting _that_ to her for the world. Did she realize she didn't even have to move to turn him on? Probably not.

Her calm eyes wandered somewhere over the frame of the bed and she sighed when he used the pause to detach from her.

"Way too early." Sakura turned to him, her fingers starting to play with his hair.

Was she talking about the time? Anyway, he closed his eyes, exhaling slowly and relishing in the softness of the blankets.

"Falling asleep after the first round. He's lazier than I thought." He heard Sakura's quiet voice, close to his face.

Sasuke opened his eyes and looked at her, offended and almost angry. Then proceeded to turn to the other side and relax on the pillow. Sakura chuckled but shifted on the other side right away, laying right in front of him once again. Her labored breath made him open his eyes but this time she laughed, for his gaze was pure wrath. She didn't see it coming when he started tickling her and she opened her mouth, squeaking sounds coming out of there. Sakura tried to stop him but he had focused on torturing her and as much as she twisted and pushed him away, he always found a way to reach and punish her.

"Alright!" She breathed out through laughter. "You win."

Sakura was almost on top of him when he stopped and stared at her with the same judgmental pout as before; waiting for her to realize her sinful actions.

She narrowed eyes and stole a quick kiss on his neck but it irritated him all the more because he didn't predict it, which in its turn brought out another laughter from her.

"You're such a bore." Sakura used her most ruthless tone, shaking her head.

She perhaps intended the phrase to be a part of the play but somehow the words affected him deeply and he withered, ignoring her eyes. Why did she always have to be so right?

Sakura tilted her head, trying to find his eyes.

"What is it?"

"Nothing." He slowly parted from her but his voice didn't sound convincing.

Sakura forced him to look at her, demanding an answer. He feared she'd be able to exert her powers upon him at the moment he let her sleep in his bed. Just as he predicted, that curious pair of green eyes could only soften him. Also, getting away with that type of answer was not satisfying her so he guessed he'd have to change the way he spoke to her. Let her in a bit.

"I've always been a bore. You don't deserve a bore."

The confession must've resonated with her because she found herself on the edge of crying in his stead. Again. Where did she store all these emotions? It was so phenomenal that it stupefied him every time and he didn't know how to respond.

"I suffered enough." She leaned in to hug him, with a whisper. "You better stay with me or I'll chain you to the bed's frame."

Sasuke scoffed at her suggestion and hugged her back.

"You are so kind that you don't even see I'm using you."

"You are so broke that you don't have a choice." Sakura slid down next to him, a content smile on her lips. "You'll have to stay here for now."

She closed her eyes and silenced, allowing him to watch her without any more distractions. Her youthful face was all he ever needed to see now and all he wished to see for the rest of his life. It wasn't much to ask, right? He knew his mother would've loved her, his father too. As for Itachi…

Sasuke pulled the blanket over Sakura's bare shoulders and she swept closer to him with an absent movement. His heart almost stopped when she took a deeper breath and her small hand relaxed over his.

Itachi would've been happy for him whatever his choice was. He would probably be happy even if his brother had chosen a call-girl, provided that he loved her. Although knowing him, he would've either fallen for Sakura or end up trying to steal her from him just for fun. The notion amused him at first but then he furrowed, his fingers closing around Sakura's hand. Like he wouldn't shoot anyone who dared to get close to her.

* * *

He didn't realize he had fallen asleep until Sakura didn't wake him up with a peck on the nose, awake and active. That alone was a solid proof the two of them just lived on different batteries. How were six hours enough for her when he could sleep for sixteen more? Moreover, she was supposed to be quite sore after their eventful midnight rendezvous. As he began to think about it, he owed it all to Sakura's drive to the very last second. He was so tired that he wasn't sure he'd pull anything through.

"Are you hungry? I was going to make pancakes with chocolate." She smiled at him warmly but her smile faded when he grimaced. "What?"

"I don't like sweet things."

After she passed the phase of bewilderment, Sakura proceeded to give him a meaning look, eyes scanning him up and down. "That's why you're so tired all the time."

Come on, would she rather have him fat? He opened his mouth to protect himself but she raised her hand to stop him, assuring him everything was fine. She had wrapped the blankets around her, holding a book in one hand.

There was something that bothered him since yesterday but… he never gathered the courage to unfold.

Something tucked in the back of his mind, nagging at him since he saw those sedatives in her bathroom. The reflections turned him restless within seconds and they, on the other side, created intrusive images that infuriated him as never before. Because he hated the mere thought of it and because he was helpless to change it.

Sakura left her book on the sheet and raised a brow, in pure wonder. They looked at each other for a while and he knew she'd wait for him to speak first. So he did.

"Did you sleep with him?"

Sakura was taken aback by the question, blinking in response. This time the pause between them prolonged, with every second the storm raging inside of him gathered strength but he had learned how to subdue it to measured levels. He wasn't sure what his eyes showed, though.

"Kakashi. Did you sleep with him?"

Sakura was pursing her lips, bubbling amusement threatening to come out of her in various forms, and that angered him even more. How could she do this to him? He was intensely furrowing when she tore her gaze away from him, her expression turning serious in an instant. Which was like a bullet to his heart. It wasn't like her to not speak her mind.

"I see."

Sasuke decided to drop the subject. It's not like he could do anything about it. It's not like he was there when she needed him.

"I haven't." Evading the laughter seemed to become even harder when he narrowed eyes, fixed back on her. "I had a close call once, though."

"It's not funny." Sasuke murmured, "It's not funny," then once again, with an emphasis, to deafen Sakura's low snickering. She was quaking with laughter.

As bitter as he was, her answer eased him vastly and what was left for him now was only to pretend he disapproved of her laughter. Took her a while to calm down and take a few breaths, ending her outburst with a sigh.

"Well, what _is_ funny to you? I have to find what makes you happy." She pondered on the subject for a while before beaming with an idea. "Oh! You did smile once when I embarrassed myself."

He furrowed again, failing to call such a scene to his memory.

"I'll go trip on the shower bank," Sakura concluded.

"On purpose?"

"Yes. Then I'll fall and break something and when they ask me what happened, in the hospital, I'll say _he didn't remember how to laugh."_

Sasuke traced the waterfall of her words until its end, carefully following the line of her thought as his gaze rested on her lips most of the time but the ending was unexpected and he looked up to her eyes in surprise. Sakura waited for him to respond in some way but after a minute of silence, she surely decided the conversation wasn't going to get any more gripping.

"I'm going, you know," Sakura announced and heaved up as if hurried on her way to the shower.

"Don't," Sasuke warned her but his voice was flat and indifferent and didn't affect her in any way.

"You can't stop me."

Sakura stood up but then froze and returned to the sheets at lightning speed, wrapping herself. Her face became a crimson hue in the process. Sasuke raised a brow at her illogical behavior and she caught his expression soon after.

"I had forgotten to pull the curtains last night and now my neighbor saw me completely naked!" Sakura's voice gradually raised its intonation to a squeak. She covered her head with the sheet too, leaving only the horrified expression on her face visible. "He saw everything."

There was a dramatic pause in which she stared at the window - the source of her great inconvenience - and then her mouth dropped open because Sasuke was laughing. It was brief and quiet but it was a laughter. Sakura probably didn't realize she was holding her breath until her lungs demanded it because her face changed a few nuances while her eyes were nailed to him with astonishment.

"Oh my God, it works!" She breathed out. "I am going to that shower now."

"Sakura," Sasuke sighed, covering his eyes for a second. Her vigorous motions and words brought him a headache. He then revealed his eyes, holding two equal parts of concern and amusement in them. "No need to break your bones for me, ok?"

There was a faint smile that twisted his admonishing tone, a smile that was sincere happiness, or rather something that closely resembled it, he wasn't sure how happiness felt anymore but that was probably it. Sakura was more than content with it, it seems, by the look of her. He even heard her moan at the sight.

She neared him as fast as she could and slammed her mouth against his, a tad more furiously than she wanted to because she backed away a bit, frightened by her own excitement.

"Do you even know how beautiful you are?" Sakura whispered in between the multiple short breaths she took.

"Yes," Sasuke replied, making her chuckle. "Enough to not feel bad next to you."

Sakura parted from him, breathing heavily. Her skin was ablaze already but his scrutinizing gaze over her body left her on fire, darkening her face with a blush.

"Perfect." He leaned in, fooling her that he reached for her lips but instead pressed her closer, lifting both of them up and out of the bed.

"That's what you say to all of them, don't you?" Sakura laughed in his ear.

"Shut up."

"You're gonna shower with me?" She asked, in a formal tone and he turned to give her a meaning look. After hearing about her strategic bone breaking he doubted he'd let her go in the shower on her own ever again.

* * *

 _A/N: Thanks for reading. Оk. I hope I made it as artful as I wished it to be. They have some things to talk about more and some things to do together too so I'm not sure when this fic is gonna end exactly. Probably soon. Truth is, last three nights I've been obsessing over an idea that came to me, I'm tempted to make it into a fic. Anyway, so glad to have that many people reading me, thanks again. I'm totally gonna have thousands of typos in this one, was in a hurry to publish it because I promised an early update. Don't laugh too much._


	30. Ardor

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in it.**

* * *

 **XXX.**

 **\- Ardor -**

If anything, at least he appeared generally pleased by her state of discomfort. The look on his eyes was mending the basic, fiery vexation she usually acquired whenever something (or someone) bothered her to that extent but when the cocky smirk was worn by the exception himself, matters changed entirely.

Alright, they might've overdone it a little.

"Your inner sadist is showing." Sakura admonished, her breath still hitching as she walked on her heeled shoes and tried her best to ignore the soreness that spread from her knees, thighs and all the way up to her waist. Those ridiculous shoes… Ino and her whims. It was her fault.

It was the late afternoon when she called and extracted an agreement from her - to come to her house, with a _hot date,_ and enjoy a party. And most definitely, wear heels. _Dress code_ , she insisted. Ino was stupefied when Sakura agreed to her offer almost right away, but said nothing about it. Matter-of-fact, Ino had invited the whole platoon at her house (which fazed Sakura grandly, knowing the place had little potential for such an event, with its not-so-big of a size) and was determined to cheer her friend up.

Little did she know that her friend was long past cheering and was now on a heavier phase.

Sasuke paced by her side, apparently not in any way feeling obliged to reply to her caustic remark. She gave him money yesterday, since he couldn't possibly live without any clothes that fit his taste and size, and he came back with grey and black, causing a rise in her brow. She could swear, he always bordered between the classic and the insane.

And so, she couldn't help but blush at the sight of him, the familiar black satin and an unusual deep cutaway collar on him, unbuttoned, neat and way too sultry for her to handle. After all the frustration he caused her in the last two days, she wondered how her body was still able to react in the same way, the internal heat pecking her cheeks until they turned crimson.

This man was just unhealthy to be with, but she loved him, to the marrow of her bones.

Practically, if the situation had to be summed up with a sober eye, all they did was have sex since that night. And when she thought about it this way, now, with her common sense on spot and her sensible judgment picking up the pieces of humility she believed she had before Sasuke stepped in her apartment, she could feel a few stabs of shame into the back of her mind.

Then a few more, with a slight raise of intensity, when she remembered… when she remembered.

* * *

 _That glare of his, reminded her a bit of the one he gave her when she was at the briefing, when he stared at her, wrathful like some ancient god that was caged in his own prison. He transfixed her with his darkness and anger whirled inside of him as he stripped her bare somewhere in his dark visions and dimensions, and she thought it was her that he despised but she saw through it just now. The acrimony was not intended for her, it was meant for the prison. The bars of hatred that allowed his sight to dim with war and war only. As if his eyes were meant to carry that hatred but her image did not fit in._

 _Sakura hugged her knees, exhaling slowly. The water in the bathtub was just a few inches below the line of her shoulders and she sank a tad deeper, feeling the stinging of the cold air on her bare skin. Across her sat Sasuke, and she kind of regretted telling him some details about her abduction (a subject that was inevitable due to the vivid presence of her many pills in the bathroom) because he had been a glorious sight just now, relaxing against the pure white of the acrylic fiber. Now, he had come off the wall, tense and once again sullen._

 _She was not fond of those particular memories of hers but he asked. He demanded to know. There was something about the way he dragged the information out of her, as if it hurt him but he wanted to hear it all nevertheless. Like those obscene images and harsh words, spoken with her mild voice, inflicted upon him the maximum pain and as eloquent as he was in features, at least to her, she suspected he used those brief discussions to punish himself. For not being there to alter what she long ago accepted as fate._

 _She decided he's had enough of it. Of all people, she wanted to be the one to bring him the least pain._

" _I am not talking about this again." Her head tilted a bit, a sad smile on her lips. "Stop asking me about it."_

 _He was fixed on her for a few more seconds, steady and grim, before his eyes strayed away, ignoring hers with a renewed guilt. The self-punishment ceased, now it was time for the culpability. He had realized his questionnaire as a sinful act in which he's made her a victim, again, and has brought his most vehement accusations with full force upon himself. She could almost hear the profanities he sent to his own address._

 _Sakura sighed._

 _Pushing away the lather, she shifted closer to him, finding a way (with a bit of a struggle) to sit on his lap and wrap her legs around him loosely, making him turn his attention back to her, quickly scanning her up and down with the same discontent he was apparently having a hard time erasing from his features._

 _Leaning in, she gave him a playful smile and her warm breath danced on his skin. Her lips skimmed over his but her smile widened because he stood still, with his foul mood not giving any signs of vanishing soon. If he thought he'd put her off with his menacing attitude, he was dead wrong. It only increased her desire._

 _Eyes a tad hazy, her wet hand slid down his molded oblique muscles and further, to his hard core and stopped there for a while, her lips busy leaving trails on his jaw and down his neck. He was unnerved and restive in his own specific way and it amused her, but she didn't stop, her tongue sliding down to his collarbone and wresting out a prolonged sigh from him._

 _It was not even difficult to break his defense, she thought, letting out a huff. He was not difficult to break at all._

 _Sasuke held her chin and raised it up, eager to find her mouth and kiss her, tongue swirling with her own. She forgot her intentions for a second, moaning quietly at the feeling of his hands pressing her lower back closer to him. He had just bent toward her when she returned to her previous thoughts, reluctant but excited nonetheless. As skillful as he was at making her feel adored, she had set something else on her mind._

" _I want to try something." She breathed out indefinitely, pressing him back gently._

 _A furrow appeared on his face, but then it was switched by a sharp hiss and a mild shudder, as her hand slipped lower and wrapped around him. She was more than content with the way his breathing quickened, chest heaving up and down. His attempts to calm himself down were pathetic and he surely knew it._

 _She was curious, above all, what it'd feel like. She was curious to what extent he'd let her wade and reach. In every encounter they had by now he dominated, and she didn't mind, but he couldn't possibly think he'd be the one to lead every time. It was not fair._

 _Her hold was not as strong at first, when she stroked him lightly, a tad unsure, but certainly gratified when Sasuke's stony grimace finally broke into a softer one, failing to contain it for much longer. He seemed to hang on the line between extremely uncomfortable and pleasantly anticipating. There was mostly surprise on his features, that she was suddenly so bold. She repeated the motion, more confident but still slow and careful, and heard his breath coming out in snatches._

 _Her grip tightened, searching for the one convenient rhythm and pressure he'd take a liking in. Sakura swallowed, feeling her own body starting to pulsate with a lustful ache. His voice, she needed to hear his voice._

 _She tried moving with a pace then, glad that the water allowed her to keep it with ease without removing the friction she caused, and then a helpless moan fell off his lips, eyes lidding with the new kind of pleasure. She found some narcotic delight in hearing him so weak and quivering, and out of any control._

 _He grasped onto her, his head sinking into the crook of her neck but he couldn't hide the shivers that ran through him at every caress. It was surely strange to him, he hadn't allowed her to touch him like that before and she surely wasn't giving him the best experience either but he was good at directing her – her tempo was steady for a while, as well as his soft, needy groans against her skin._

 _As she gradually increased her rhythm, his panting turned feverish and he absently let go of her, relaxing back on the bathtub wall with his eyes closed, head leaning back. Sakura slowed down almost to a stop, bending forward to reach his ear. Seems like she had finally found what she was looking for._

" _Does it feel nice?" The whisper came with the slight vibrations of her breathy laugh._

 _She continued abruptly then, determined to set a steady, not-too-fast pace and carved out a barely suppressed cry from him. "I… hate you." He tried to form the words with a firmness that shattered long ago; instead, he spoke them out hoarsely, through intervals of heavy breathing and with an emphasized mellow, lascivious tint, as if the statement was easily pliable into a whole tonality of expressions. Only he could utter such an extremity and make it sound as anything but its literal meaning._

" _So… it does feel nice." Sakura bit her lip and narrowed eyes at him - shuddering with intense pleasure, trying his best to not give out how much he depended on her touch with his restrained growls and his half-tics and motions his body required to make against her, to prolong the thrills that she built up._

 _Goodness, she had never thought she'd see him like that, fully dependent and frail, and sensitive beyond measure. "S-sakura, I-" Then he breathed out, pleading her, calling her, and she was happy to oblige, following the signs he left. He was hard and trembling immensely, wind up with some particular tension her body has never been able to deliver in all those times before, which justified her curiosity completely._

 _This kind of touch seemed to be a crucial point in the intimacy he favored and she was left in awe, relishing on the control he (to her great surprise) lent to her without opposition. He was already near and, seemingly, she had him cornered – his moans were less and less suppressed, he didn't have the strength to oppose_ _and stifle the sensations anymore; his hand digging harshly into her upper hip with a growing need and the other bracing the edge of the tub._

 _He had completely lost his pride in those ardent seconds, she had to admit, amazed by the use of words and phrasings he used, just to have her going. She even heard a quite atypical, subdued repetition of "Please…" somewhere among them as he urged her to go on a little bit further and further and further, until he finally snapped at the climax, his body slightly arching at the relief and his lips apart with a raw, low moan that even shot bolts of pleasure through her spine._

 _He pulsed heat and indulged in the rapture of her touch with the few loud breaths that shed from him, before she let go, at last, sliding back to her side of the tub with a small smile. She observed him in a silent veneration, the way a connoisseur would look at a lost piece of Rembrandt, as he inhaled and exhaled in complete and utter tumult, disturbed to a point of no return, flushed, embarrassed, and exhausted, and making countless failed attempts to blame her for this state with his half-shocked, half-cross expression, fixed on her... like he hasn't seen it coming at all._

 _Sakura absently put her hand in front of her mouth, fingers tugging at her lower lip with wonder – she wasn't sure what she just did but she liked it anyway. Did she do it right, though? The doubt hued her skin with a heavy blush. Perhaps she didn't… that's why he looked at her that way. But then again, she was left with the impression that he enjoyed it. A lot._

" _I'm s-sorry?" She muttered something between a plead and a question, but it was his turn to near her and she silenced right away, swallowing._

 _He parted her knees to get as close as he wished, then stopped and stared at her without moving. Uneasiness coiled in her stomach because he was clenching her and she just realized she couldn't move in any direction. His lips were so close to hers that she caught herself looking down at them for a second before turning back to the fathomless obsidian of his eyes. She was positive she hasn't seen anyone as sinfully beautiful as him, throughout her whole life._

" _You want to try something?" Sasuke asked dryly, eyes slightly narrowing._

 _He probably waited for a proper explanation... Perhaps she had to warn him in advance, of her sudden inspirations... especially if they involved experimenting on his body..._

" _Uh…" Sakura let out an odd sound, finding out that her mind had gone completely blank. That heavy gaze of his, penetrating through her with relentless want and-_

 _He sighed, closing his eyes and her heart skipped a beat when he leaned in, resting his forehead on hers, their noses slightly touching. It was his body language that always intrigued her so much every time she was near because her cascades of words usually weren't even as half as plain as his charming muteness, the choices he made on touching, kissing, pressing, pulling or just… standing there, in her presence, with that relaxed posture and evened breathing as if she was some sort of a harbor to his soul._

" _Better?" She exhaled, a tad whimsical, remembering the last time she asked him that weird question, months ago, when she hoped her body was enough to diminish his pains._

" _Yes." His firm reply fazed her and she backed away a bit, to look at him in the eyes. He wasn't messing with her, was he? He was almost upset when she met his gaze, as if to show her such question was unnecessary. "Yes."_

* * *

"Are you alright?"

His voice startled her and she almost tripped, stepping at an odd angle. She was absolutely obliged to grab his hand to not fall and break something from her already aching body, which put her in an absolutely ridiculous situation. As red as she was before that, all colors had disappeared from her face with the threat of falling on the concrete, for sure, leaving her clinging to him with distilled terror on her face and no memory of how she ended up squeezing his hand with both of hers.

"Clearly not." He answered the question himself, scanning her from head to toe with concern.

"It's n… nothing." She ignored his eyes and after a long, silent second burst into laughter.

Sasuke stopped walking, waiting for her to regain composure as his eyes flickered to the Police officers that walked on the other side of the street. She noticed his inconvenience and cleared her throat, murmuring an apology as she detached from him and smoothed out her long coat as if it'd help her obtain her dignity again.

"Sorry. Let's go." Sakura mumbled, renewing her pace with a heightened awareness of where she steps and how she steps, and what she thinks about.

Sasuke caught up with her and took her hand again, winning himself a bewildered pair of viridian eyes.

"So you don't fall again." He clarified and didn't look at her as he did, his straight face ousted by a faint flush that changed his ever-so-pale skin.

Sakura pretended to not notice it and flushed herself, reiterating in her thoughts that all she needed now was to watch where she's going and… keep walking. Just keep walking. How the hell did they even survive together for so long? She decided to focus her attention on something that isn't making her feel shameful or frustrated.

Konoha was covered in stony clouds and she assumed they might see a snowfall soon. Chilly wind grazed her face as she walked down the familiar street. Yamanaka's household was at the far side of a quiet neighborhood and took place somewhere between a now desolate (and a bit creepy) open-air kindergarten and an office building.

Sakura wondered how Ino's mother was doing… Her eyes passed through the rows of houses and shops, only to stop on one in the distance. It was probably closed, as it was now Saturday. Sakura made a promise, to visit her in the next week. Poor woman. She refused to marry again, and have someone take care of the business or her or anything, for that matter, and that always made Sakura a little sad. She must've loved Inoichi very much.

With these thoughts twiddling in her head, she almost missed Ino's house – not really big but cozy, with those trade-mark floral curtains on the inner side of each window and the wooden door with the small, flower-like bell-button.

Sakura slightly squeezed Sasuke's hand as she guided him to the door and they stopped there for a moment of complete silence. Then she rang the bell and took a deep breath. Ino had no idea who was she coming with, so she prepared herself mentally for it. It was gonna be a tough encounter.

Not that she wished to keep it a secret, it was that she knew Ino was a bit of a gossip. Bringing Sasuke into the already messed-up picture was something that she'd never do.

"Don't mind her reactions. She can get a bit hysterical at times." Sakura warned him in advance, her brows slightly wrinkled when she heard incoming steps from inside the house.

"How dare you-" A few seconds later, the door opened and a formally-dressed Ino froze, ceasing her sentence, mouth dropping at the sight. Her daze continued for a bit longer than Sakura anticipated - she raised a brow, then exchanged glances with Sasuke.

"Hey. Would you mind…" She chuckled nervously, "letting us in? It's really cold outside."

Ino shifted away abruptly, gesturing into the house. Sakura entered, dragging Sasuke with her and Ino closed the door behind them with a clearing of her throat. Sakura met her sharp gaze seconds before she put her on her stormy expression and stepped to Sasuke, her fists clenched with anger.

"Look who's here." She hissed, grinding her teeth. Sakura was trying to interject what looked like an upcoming storm but Ino didn't let her. "The pretty boy."

"Ino-"

"She almost killed herself because of you, do you know that? Do you know how much pain you've caused her?"

A spasm shrank Sakura's insides at the sound of those words and she shut her eyes tight for a second. When she opened them, neither of the attendants hadn't moved yet – Ino stared at Sasuke with mustered up anger and bitterness and Sasuke stared back at her, with no visible emotion.

"What do you have to say for yourself?" Ino folded her hands, furrowing. Clearly, she meant to protect her friend but she wasn't aware of the heart-wrenching sensation she most likely caused to Sasuke with those words, which transformed the whole conversation into a double-edged sword.

Sakura was at a loss, unsure what to do. They were all static, she in her helplessness, Ino in her attack, and Sasuke in his passiveness, until… a fourth person didn't appear in the corridor.

"Sasuke?"

Naruto walked to them in awe.

"When did you get out?" He let out a short laugh and bumped Sasuke's shoulder, suddenly, almost pushing him out of balance.

Sakura used the weird pause to save the situation and stepped to Ino, grabbing her hand and, before she could object, dragged her further into the house. They stopped in the well-known dining room, where Sai, Shikamaru, and Temari were already conversing on the table, and Sakura waved at them faintly before fixing a glare on her friend. Shikamaru and Temari were dressed comparatively casual, Sakura couldn't help but notice, against the frightening mood of Sai's white shirt and bowtie. Did Ino make him wear a tuxedo or were those two just equally mad to wear such clothes on an inner-circle party?

"What the hell, Ino? I know you're on my side but…" Sakura looked over her shoulder. "You really should keep your opinions for yourself when it comes to him, alright? He's not really good at recovering from this kind of things, please spare him whatever you think he deserves. Trust me, he's had enough of it already."

Ino pursed her full lips, twisting her features in some kind of a pout as she followed her friend's flow of words carefully and nodded from time to time. Sakura's words were left hanging in the air for almost a minute before Ino's intent face faded in a snap.

"Does he sleep at your place, though?" She spurted out, at last, winning Sakura's full vexation. "Come on, you bring your Hades all the way up from the underworld and expect me to _not_ be curious. Fill me up a bit."

"I am not even sure how we became friends in the first place." Sakura leaned in, hissing. "Pig."

"Does he?" Ino smirked.

"You're impossible." Sakura puffed, unprepared for the random hug that Ino gave her.

"And you're ok," Ino mumbled back, seemingly happy.

Sakura sighed, hugging her back with a content heart. True, Ino was acting like life went on but it was her that looked after Sakura when she was ill and her, again, that lifted her spirits up in the last weeks, when she drowned in sorrows and couldn't find any reason to live. If it wasn't for her support, Sakura ascertained, everything was going to end in a different way. Even the way she focused the attention on herself all the time (along with unusual details around her awkward life with Sai) helped.

Ino tossed her glossy hair behind the shoulder, scrutinizing herself in the reflecting surface of the shelf next to them. She was in red, too, but her dress was skin-tight and off-shoulder, revealing her delicate neck and visible collarbones.

Once her inspection was over and she was pleased with what she saw, her hands grabbed two stemmed glass and turned on heels, ice-blue gaze searching for something. It was the red wine on the table. She nodded that way, ushering her to join the group.

Sakura was not ready for that yet, hesitating. What happened with…? Sasuke and Naruto showed up right when she started worrying. Naruto was beaming, as always, and Sasuke was reserved, as always, but they seemed like they've gotten along just fine.

"Listen, guys, Sasuke wants to tell you something." Naruto dragged the attention of everyone in the room and silence spread, all eyes fixed on Sasuke. Sakura was pushing back the desire to go and take his hand because he appeared to be terribly uncomfortable, but she remained on her spot.

"I… wanted to apologize." Sasuke looked down, in resignation. "To everyone."

"Not everyone's here yet, though." Sai intervened but Ino nabbed him on the head to stay quiet.

"I know, I just… I'll-" He stopped, furrowing. "Listen, I was being an ass."

"Yup." Shikamaru agreed.

"I am sorry."

Sakura couldn't help but smile, eyes scanning all of the attendants. They seemed a bit cold, but not hostile (except for the unambiguously hostile puff that came from Temari) or utterly surprised by Sasuke's words… which told her that they've expected him to apologize.

"It's cool, man." Shikamaru was first to speak and break the silence. He gestured at him to sit with them. "I'm glad no one picked up a fight. The Police aren't fond of loud parties, they're totally going to cuff us up if we… disturb the silence."

"Don't jinx it." Temari scolded him. "I'm sure these two," she glanced at Sasuke and Naruto, "will start arguing in the next five minutes."

"I'm just saying, I haven't jinxed anything."

Sakura neared the table and sat on the empty chair beside Temari, watching as Ino poured from the dark liquid in the two glasses and then handing one of them to her. She had missed that acrid taste that warmed her up pleasantly. Ino winked at her from across with a quiet _It's good, huh?_ And Sakura shook her head, just to make fun of her. Ino has always been good at picking up sorts of wines, one of her good qualities.

"Did you tell him about the car yet?" Sai slowly turned, looking at Naruto who was still standing, next to Sasuke. "That you scratched it?"

Sasuke's steady gaze slid from Sai to Naruto, turning livid with anger in front of everyone's eyes, and the latter seemed to get gradually paler at the sight. He puffed up his cheeks, hand up in the air.

"I can explain."

 _"Jinxed,"_ Temari concluded, lifting up her glass to tinkle it with the others.

* * *

 _A/N: Well, what can I say? I was in a mood. I was gonna write a normal chapter, but then I remembered it's the fic's 1-year anniversary and changed my (dirty) mind. Why do I always look like some weird goth Lolita when I write this fic, listening to progressive metal and wearing floral dresses? Lmao. Sorry for the delay, guys, I was pretty busy trying to finally publish some original stuff. I think I might have one more chapter and then an epilogue. It's how my calculations go, all in all. Have a great weekend! Love ya._


	31. Luminous

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in it.**

* * *

 **XXXI.**

 **\- Luminous –**

"Hell of a party." Sakura scoffed, entering her apartment with a half-inebriated mind and casting those damned shoes as far as she could from her feet. She could bet all her money that the inventor of heels had a close relationship with the devil himself. "I'm pretty sure he'll have to visit the hospital for a few incisions soon. And _you…_ are an idiot."

Sasuke pouted, eyes on her back, positively offended by the use of words, but finding it unnecessary to retort. His brows were locked in a deep furrow for the last hour, the pain he caused to himself by hitting Naruto, with his knuckles, was surely getting unbearable because the cooling effect on the ice on his skin seemed to fade. They decided to head back to her apartment by the time his glare upon everything and everyone became constant.

"It was getting noisy anyway." Sakura huffed, murmuring the words under her breath and trying her best to find a plausible reason for their early departure. It was just getting interesting, with all the stories Tenten began to share about a past member of their platoon and a few missions they've been on with him before his unexpected death.

Her eyes lit up in a way Sakura's never seen before, when she talked about him, and the others… they seemed to be aware of it, by the way they hushed, letting her bring the memories of his presence in her own specific way. As if they let her shape his image because she could do it best.

Sakura recognized that look. Everyone could do it, in fact, it was written all over her face. The look of a woman whose soul was ripped apart - eyes full of feigned warmth and tears, but with a smile of stone. Sakura could feel her fear because she's been there too… that if the smile broke, her whole body would break too, so she kept that smile on her lips, at all times.

Anyway, onto the main problem…

Naruto, of course, received his blow after Sai spilled information on the _crime_ he's done against Sasuke's car, but the quarrel was suspended by the rest of them, who didn't think it'd go this far. Even though the fight was momentary Naruto was able to reply to Sasuke's sudden attack. Sasuke got out with a single bruise and a cracked skin on his hand, but Naruto…

Sakura sighed.

How was it that those two couldn't act like normal people did? She could still see that smirk on Naruto's face when they parted him from Sasuke. What was with men and their weird satisfaction in exercising violence on each other? Sakura didn't think the subject was worth discussing, she was sure it would only make her head ache.

"What was all that for?" She asked out loud, despite her silent reconcilement. If not anything, she was curious to know what excuse he'll come up with.

"I've always wanted to punch him."

Sakura shook her head disapprovingly, hanging her coat on the small peg on the wall, then taking his. "Come." She urged him to follow her into the kitchen as she turned the lights on and started rummaging through her shelves. She knew there was lint somewhere in them… she soon found it and dashed into her bathroom to find a disinfectant and cotton.

She liked helping people, but that was just plain abuse of her benevolence. Unsure whether Naruto or Sasuke was at fault, she decided to be mad at both of them simultaneously. With her nerves in shreds, she couldn't imagine what worrying about the two of them for the rest of her life would cause her. Certainly nothing good.

Sakura left everything she held on the kitchen counter and exhaled, her hand making a sharp gesture at him to get closer. Not the time to let emotions overwhelm her, there were more important things to occupy her mind with. More pleasant too. The joke was, if she had decided to punch people, with her fighting knowledge, one of them was going to end up with a fractured jaw and the other was going to gather his own teeth from the ground. But some people just have _self-control._ Because they have a _filter_ and they _think before they do._

"You're angry," Sasuke noted, a mild tremble going through him as she apostrophized with a loud exclamation.

"Yes, I'm angry!"

Sakura looked at him, still and silent, but then swallowed and closed her eyes for a second. "Sorry." When she opened her eyes, Sasuke looked at her with curiosity and she could swear, there was a minuscule trace of fright she glimpsed in there for a split second. She might be tiny, but she knew how to break bones, and that was not all - she could even name which ones she'd aim for.

The pause extended, but neither of them moved. Another sigh escaped her lips… she couldn't possibly be mad at him for more than five minutes, though. Especially when he looked at her like that, cute and all.

Sakura slowly stepped to him and took his wounded left hand, fingers slowly starting to unwrap the improvised bandage they made him, at Ino's house. His eyes were strictly on her face for the most part of her motions, but when she removed the cloth and caressed the cracked skin his eyes shot down to his hand, a shudder coursing through him.

The skin was reddened and swelled up, but nothing that wouldn't heal in a few days. As she put on the disinfectant on the piece of cotton she couldn't help but reminisce about their edgy first encounter at the hospital. She almost smiled at the memories. So much changed since then.

Her slim fingers touched the spot where she thought most sore, where the cut was closest to the bone and he recoiled, with a sharp hiss. Her eyes held equal parts amusement and satisfaction when she raised them up to him. It was time for him to realize that pain was hundred-percent his fault and also could've been a completely avoided issue if he had constrained his… destructive impulses.

Sasuke was looking anywhere but her eyes, guilt sifting through him as he was clearly starting to get the picture and feel the consequences of his actions. Sakura took his hand and pulled him closer, pretending to not enjoy the way his other hand clenched into a fist when she tapped his wounded skin again. She even afforded to press here and there, wresting quiet sibilances of discomfort from him. So he could endure bullet wounds without making a single sound, but a skin-deep wound turned him into a baby.

The smile quivered on her lips when she started wrapping the new roll of lint, extremely careful. He must've sensed she was past her wrathful state and it was safe for him to relax, unclenching his fist. Something bubbly and pleasant stirred inside her, at the thought how much of a context was it what's between them. That game, she never got tired of it, never will. It was more of a dance, actually. Only that it took her months to learn the steps because he didn't quite seem interested in a doublet. It was fine by her, though, he changed enough.

"You're good to go." Sakura finished, with a tired smile on her lips, and turned to the counter to put away what she took.

After almost a minute of dead silence, she wondered why he hasn't moved and faced him again. He had frozen, with his eyes on a point behind her. Something was wrong, she could tell. More than wrong. She has seen that tint on very rare occasions and every time she did she prayed to not see it ever again for it broke her heart like nothing else.

He shifted, reaching for his point of interest and she didn't see it until she turned around. The box looked smaller in his hands when he lifted it to the level of his eyes, to read the inscription in the lower corner. Sakura wasn't sure whether it's been a good idea to keep it anymore. Slight panic raised in her, heart beating loudly against her chest in the unsettling, thick silence.

Was she going to make it worse if she tries to explain that she only thought to save the fragment as an important memory? Save it from getting lost, covered in dust and lying forgotten. All the more, it reminded her of him. She never intended to look like she had stolen it or claimed it as hers, by putting it next to her own objects as if belongs to her. But now it seemed like she's done just that and she wanted to express how terribly sorry she is, but the look on his eyes shut her away.

She dared not move, shallowing the breaths of air she took. The sight had her trembling with anticipation… a bad one.

Sasuke slowly left the tea box back on the counter and set it back in its place.

"Thank you for keeping it." He said, simultaneously bringing a dose of relief and of sorrow to her.

Sakura tilted her head, to try and meet his eyes, but he moved away, leaving the kitchen. The way he spoke, like he appreciated her thought of preserving it, but it meant nothing to him anymore. Like he didn't want any tie with his past pulling him back. She enveloped herself, feeling helpless. Nothing came to her mind, nothing she could do to appease the situation.

He was mute again, giving no signs of wishing to talk with her or give her any attention at all, for that matter, strictly focused on putting his sleeping shirt and lying on the bed. Sakura observed him from the kitchen, and as she did, a thought gradually found its place into her mind. It wasn't her _theft_ that upset him. He wasn't bothered by her or anything she's done, his disquietude came from something else entirely.

Sakura grimaced, watching him imitate perfect composure, laying on the bed, covering himself with the sheets and putting an arm under his head as he laid on the pillow, in the most casual way. With his back against her.

Loneliness.

He carried it… the insidious, haunting taint of loneliness. And he was trying so very hard to frame himself to it. As if it was a natural occurrence… a simple state of mind, something of a permanent flu that he was disturbed by, but has accepted that it was never gonna leave him or go away, or be cured.

Sasuke convinced everyone he was made of stone, but she was not so sure of it. The closer she got, the more she revealed of the truth. What she witnessed was a ghost of a former self, an alter ego of a man that she'd never known. Someone who had tasted happiness, who had tasted life from its better side, from the colorful side. But whoever he's been in the past was gone due to all those morbid circumstances.

Walking to the bed at her slowest, she turned off every light and stripped her clothes to get into her nighty. The complete darkness of the moonless night didn't bother her, she had never been afraid to stand in the dark anyway. Not even when she was little.

Groping, she got under the blankets and stopped there, distanced from him.

She couldn't bear having him convince himself that what he was doing was right or okay, in any sense. No one should get used to loneliness, that was inhuman. Yes, he had no family now. He had no mother to hug, no father to hear praise from, no brother to seek comfort in. He had nothing left too, nothing his, except his clothes and his body that he couldn't care less for.

He didn't care for anything, in fact. And she understood, having nothing on this world made you a pilgrim, a wanderer. The very notion was so profoundly sad that she needed a few seconds to overcome the feeling of suffocation that attacked her, settling itself heavy upon her chest. She knew he declared himself a wanderer and a stranger to everyone and everything, but there was one heart that broke itself over and over again, it broke at every palpitation of his.

If he only knew how much she's cried and how much she still hasn't, instead of him, maybe then he'd see that he's not as lonely as he thinks he is. That was her only wish.

Sakura swallowed thickly the lump that was gradually forming in her throat. His sorrow was so grand that she was overwhelmed by it too, as if feeling it on her own shoulders with a tangible weight and the worst thing was she could do nothing about it. She did let him have her body and she didn't mind. His thirst was ostensible and justified itself because she could feel the entanglement of their bodies wasn't just a passion and a physical need.

Those blows he had taken, those countless losses… they've carved a deep hole in him. Her body was his sanctuary, a traveler's oasis; she realized it long ago. That harsh encounter of theirs, when he got his brother's knife and made his best to convince he was there to hurt and use only. She knew he'd seek her from then on, to patch up and mend, because he recognized her - it's what she loved doing most in her life, it's what she's always been good at; it's what she was destined to do.

Heal.

Sakura shifted closer to him, as subtly as she could. What was she supposed to do when he looked so hopeless and alone in this fight? A fight that was going to last a lifetime. Did he deserve such faith? She couldn't tell, being as partial as she could get. Did he have the strength to withstand all the storms that passed and all those that were yet to come?

He was already trembling when her palm touched his back, gently, lovingly. She wondered if he asked himself those exact questions. What other reason could shake his foundations as much as to bring tears to his eyes? Sakura was acquainted with the answer to the last one, she was sure he was too. No man could withstand… or survive those storms. At least not on his own.

 _"Sasuke,"_ Sakura wearied, tentatively sliding her hand under his in order to hug him. It was worse he did not respond to her in any way, but she couldn't afford to lose him. His sanity, his hope, his fire. Her fire. "I'm here, dearest," Her voice, though a whisper, shook with the painful shiver that ran through her. Tears stung at the back of her eyes and she shut them tight, pressing her body closer to his. "You're not alone."

He turned around after her last words, until he faced her, as if suddenly fully aware of her presence. Then a pause. She waited, in the dark, certain that he'd speak.

"I am." He confuted, quietly, without anger or discontent; just a statement, an insight he's had for the longest time, but has never been as close to someone as the sharing of it required. Seemed like he chose to honor her with it and she was ruined, tears falling from her eyes as well.

She couldn't carry instead of him, that was the truth. But there was this unspoken promise between them, taking the most unusual form. The unopened bottle of pills, the morphine that they switched between one another through indefinite ways. A promise to seek each other for comfort when everything else crumbled down around them. To remind themselves that love can be a painkiller, if fulfilled in the right way.

Sakura pressed herself to him and buried her face in his neck, not making any attempts to stop her own tears from falling. She didn't have anything to say, didn't have much to offer too, so she just decided to unite with his silence this time. Emerge in the whole vastness of it. Without trying to decode or read through. Just breathe… and weep, and feel his body tremble within the grip of his many, rending sorrows.

* * *

When he breathed in, awakened, the light from the window was faint. Surely heavy clouds hung over and covered the sunlight. He couldn't move and glance at the clock, tightly enveloped by Sakura's smaller, huddled form. There was something incredibly calming about her warmth and her even breaths against his skin, almost loud in the cold silence of this current morning dusk.

He pulled the blankets up a bit, to cover her shoulders, and revered in the feeling she created.

Her embrace did calm him down by some time last night, but she had drifted into a sleep and missed to notice it. What she also missed was that some of those tears were devoted to her. But even if she hadn't, he knew she wouldn't believe him. Her kindness to him was more than he could ever express or form into words.

He kissed her hair, readjusting so that he could face her; so that he could watch her from up close. Closest anyone has ever been allowed. Dark, sorrowful circles hued her closed, restful eyes and her lips were a lurid pink - a bit chafed, but still delicately beautiful. He could even see her pale, rosy eyelashes were slightly covered in a crust, from all the crying she did last night.

His breaths on her skin must've affected her somehow, a light furrow formed on her brows as she breathed in and reached to rub the corners of her eyes before blinking them open. She needed a flash of time to turn red under his inquisitive gaze.

Recovering quickly, she made her best to reply to the peer of his eyes with her own, but such task, as he suspected, was nearly impossible for her. Her inconvenience only grew with every passing second, so he decided to end her agony.

"There's something I need to talk to you about."

Sakura withered, all the color she had previously had disappearing from her face.

"Are you leaving?" She heaved up, tears welled up in the corners of her eyes, but when he shook his head, she relaxed back on the pillow. "What then? Are you sick?"

"No," Sasuke replied, but just as he was about to explain she interjected again.

"You don't want me to be so clingy because it suffocates and annoys you?"

Sasuke furrowed at her words, getting close to terrified.

"No."

"Is it something bad?" She absently started picking at her lower lip, heavy concern written on her face.

"I am not sure." He drawled, hoping that she'd let him speak this time, without making morbid suggestions. "I want to quit the military job when my term of enlistment ends. Which is soon."

Her lips formed a silent _O,_ then she ignored his eyes, as if thinking through his words. "Alright." She agreed, out loud, still assimilating the new information. "What do you wanna do?"

"The Police." He replied, shortly.

Sakura looked at him for a while, then gradually a smile appeared on her lips. A smile of pure happiness. "Sounds fairly safer than field combat. I like it." Sakura paused, then went on, with a murmur. "If you're quitting, I..I-I can too. My boss, at the hospital… she told me I can come back whenever I want to and they'd gladly take me." She paused again and suddenly there was a strange spark in her viridian eyes; she bit her lip, a strong blush creeping on her cheeks.

"What?" He raised a brow.

"Ah, nothing." Sakura chuckled, shrugging casually. "Just imagining you dressed up in a police uniform."

It was Sasuke's turn to stare at her, then look away with a blush on his own face. Why was this woman always making him think about the weirdest things? Sakura laughed on, covering her face with the sheets. He frowned, unsure how he had allowed her to get as far as making him feel uncomfortable about things and then laughing about it freely.

He loomed over her, pulling the blanket off her face and she stilled, biting her lip to cease the amusement that bubbled inside of her. The blush looked so fabulously on her that he felt like he's been emerged into a fairy tale of some kind again, where cherry blossoms have names and talk, and laugh, and… flourish only as they touch darkness in a pure form.

Sakura's smile faded a bit, probably a change in his own expression hushing her. There was nothing _less_ and nothing _more_ about her, she was like the point of perfect balance of existence – luminous in a way he'd never be able to be, never would need to. Because she came to him willingly and lingered, like the flames he so loved watching. The strength of her love was mystical to him, but he was drawn to it anyway.

Brows furrowed, Sakura's lips slightly part, as if with a pressing question, but he leaned in to silence her before she speaks – not a kiss, not even a touch. Just extreme closeness, one that has her eyes closing and all her features relaxing into their natural state.

Something almost basic in him rejoiced every time she submitted to him like that, with no resistance whatsoever. She exuded adoration for him when he was so close, even her breaths turning into soft caresses against his skin. It was not his imagination, as he previously thought, it was true...

He felt powerful with her.

"What are you doing?" Sakura laughed breathlessly, hands up to wrap around his neck. The pause prolonged before he came up with a befitting answer.

"I'm reigning." He replied, at last, making her eyes open and meet his, just above her.

She just smiled, pulling him closer.

* * *

 _A/N: Thanks for reading. I've been inspired by Ruelle's "Carry You" for this one, such a beautiful, beautiful song. Was trying to find something tender in that mess of sorrow, pain and passion this pairing is always drowning in, hope I succeeded._

 _My epilogue is probably gonna be shorter than the usual chapters. Then I'm gonna sit and repeat to myself to never ever write modern AUs like this. Honestly, I didn't really like this one (but the fic was an experiment anyway). Nevertheless, the story was about improving my writing and extending my thought. Whatever's been annoying, bad, good, interesting and etc., you're free to share with me. You'll help me improve immensely! Thanks for hanging around. See you in the epilogue!_


	32. Epilogue

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in it.**

* * *

 **\- Epilogue –**

Sakura was almost frustrated to tears by the constant noise that pierced through her for nearly a year now.

Both of them hadn't seen a minute of sleep in the last days and Sakura was starting to sink in despair. There was nothing wrong with her, she wasn't sick or cold, or hungry. Or anything. Yet her cries didn't stop. Even when she held her in her arms, like she did now.

 _"What should I do…?"_ Sakura whispered in the silence of the bedroom, her caresses seemingly doing a good job of calming the baby in her hands. She paced to the window and peeked behind the curtain and into the darkness of the night. The streetlamps cast a faint, cold light onto the frosted pavement as her eyes skimmed over it with worry.

Why was he still not home? He promised… Sakura looked down at Sarada's tiny form and decided to leave her back in the crib, as she had now abated back to sleep.

This new house was as small as her apartment, but she loved every bit of it. The tender colors, the coziness, the modernistic tint, it was all perfect. Almost perfect. Sometimes she really needed him and she knew it was selfish of her, but it was stressing her out. Those night shifts, through times that were still dangerous… she never knew whether he'll come back. She never knew what the day will be like for him, what he'll have to face.

Her only hope was that he's seen battlefields and he was well aware of what his loss would cause her, so she just reconciled with waiting and shuttling between those rooms like a ghost until he's back. Thing was, he had never been so late. It was long past midnight and he promised to be home before ten since today's shifts have been reversed.

Almost four hours and he hasn't called, hasn't sent a message or any information whatsoever. Her nerves were tensed so much that she couldn't possibly fall asleep, despite the dense darkness, lying in the bed with her nighty and staring at the ceiling… until Sarada didn't start crying. Again. What was with that child?

Using the current moment of peace, Sakura slid out of the room and went straight to the kitchen, to drink some water.

Dread stormed her every time he was late and with every passing minute she could feel her little hope slipping through her fingers. She thought it'd be better if he's away from the direct fight, but here… in the city, where all kinds of insanity whirled, where every night someone died from an attack, assassination, accidents, robberies and she had to choose whether to watch or listen about the casualties, pretending that she's not shaking with fear as they announce victims or hurt police officers _or_ ignore everything and shut the TV, convincing herself that the silence was better than all of that. Either way, she often found herself teared up, because the love of her life was somewhere out there and she had no idea where or with whom, whether he was ok, whether he thought about his home or just tried to survive the next disaster.

Sakura flinched when she heard a click coming from the front door and forgot to breathe for a second. Her feet moved on its own as she left the cup in her hands and stopped a few steps ahead of the door as it opened and Sasuke came in, appearing a bit surprised to see her standing there, in the half-dusk, with heavy shadows falling on her face from the distant light coming from the kitchen.

Sakura barely let him close the door before dashing, to kiss and hug him.

"I missed you so much." She whispered, hands tightly enveloping him as he hugged her back, lips brushing against hers lightly.

"I've been away for a few hours."

Sakura pressed him closer angrily, with her fingers in his hair, feeling the slight amusement in his tone. Did he really think it was funny? She died a little bit with every hour he wasn't at home, and she was left waiting.

He reversed their places and pushed her back against the door with a feverish kiss that took her breath away, hand tracing her body down her waist and stopped at her lower hip, about to lift it-

A muffled cry ceased the moment and they both fazed, backing away from each other. Sakura groaned quietly, her forehead leaning on his. "She hasn't slept the whole day. I don't think she has any intentions of doing it through the night."

Sasuke slowly parted from her and silently shifted to the bedroom, followed by Sakura. She stopped at the room's threshold, curious of what he was up to. Nothing she did worked by far.

He switched on a reading-light and she could finally see him, the uniform that never failed make her week in the knees as well as the deep furrow that now altered his features thanks to the high-pitched cry that currently echoed in the room.

His judgmental gaze upon Sarada was getting a tad comical when he stopped next to her crib and watched her for a while as if developing a strategy. Sasuke slowly took her in his arms and seemed to attract her attention because she paused for a second before going on with her screaming. Sakura bit her lip, leaning against the door's frame without interrupting. She loved when he tried to create the impression that he knew exactly what he was doing without having a clue what to do.

"Sarada." He spoke quietly in her hair. "Don't cry. I'm here now."

Sarada hiccupped through the continuous crying, hands rubbing her dark eyes drowsily while Sasuke took her blanket and enveloped her in it carefully. "It's alright." He breathed out and then she suddenly hushed, leaning on his chest, despite the tears in her eyes. Sakura's mouth dropped open as she came off the door's frame, astonished. What kind of a magic did he use and does she acquire it?

Sasuke kissed Sarada's forehead and unexpectedly a small giggle came out of her as she shrunk deeper into the fold.

"Are you serious?" Sakura whispered with a shake of her head, almost laughing at Sasuke's general confusion, written all over his face. "Seems to me that she's hyperactive these days." She reached to take her from him, but he absently stepped away, eyes on Sarada with some strange, magnetic adoration that made her feel happy and... distanced at the same time. Alright... maybe her presence only broke the momentary intimacy there.

The smile on Sakura's lips widened.

He didn't want to give her. Likely for good. It was the first time in hours that she's calmed down like this and neither of them wished that state to change. Sasuke took his shoes off and carried her to the bed, relaxing back on a pillow as Sakura hurried to join him, climbing on.

They observed their daughter, revering in the sight when she finally decided to crawl out of the wrap, scrambling her way up and raised a lock of Sasuke's raven hair only to slam her lips on his forehead, then quickly hiding in the curve of his neck with a snicker.

Sasuke stood as if hit by a lightning and Sakura couldn't help but chuckle.

"I haven't taught her such things." Sakura leaned on his shoulder. "That's all you."

Sasuke looked at her, then back at Sarada, who was now staring up at him with curiosity, with two sparkling onyx beads. Her black hair hasn't grown much, but it was enough to remind her to whom she belonged to.

Sakura smiled at her.

"Alright, sweetie, time to sleep." She murmured, hands taking her away from Sasuke with the idea of lulling her back to sleep in her crib, but Sarada had something else on her mind. Her shrill squeak echoed in the room, her face turning into a sorrowful grimace, and she gripped Sasuke's cloth with all the strength she could find. "Okay, okay!" Sakura backed away, hands in the air and Sarada calmed down, her head leaning on her father's chest with renewed composure. Sakura scanned Sasuke from head to toe, noticing the small smile that quivered on his lips. "This is so weird."

Sasuke met Sakura's eyes and shrugged with a visible satisfaction.

"Still popular with the ladies, I see." Sakura let out a breathy laugh at the miraculous sight, hands pulling the blankets over her body. "Good for me. I can get some sleep from now on. Oh, and good luck with all her boyfriends." Sakura adjusted herself to sleep, shutting the light off, but Sasuke had frozen in place.

She had her back on him, but even with her eyes closed, she bit back a smile. There was a storm coming. One, two, three-

"What boyfriends?" Sasuke's grim voice in the dark had her covering her head with the sheets again, in desperate attempts to suppress her laughter.

She was absolutely _not_ telling him how Naruto's firstborn didn't take his eyes off her today, forgetting all twelve toys he had around. Not for the world.

"Good night, Sasuke."

 _The End_

* * *

 _A/N: Thank you so, so much to all of you for being inspirational and supporting me throughout this story, even though I often thought it's better if I abandon it. Love you! I am aware that the start was not what it had to be and I might get back to it sometime, for a rewrite, but in the meantime, I should make my best to update other on-going fics. THANKS again, for sticking around and granting me with a favorite, follow or a review, couldn't have finished this without you!_

 _The idea I mentioned I've been obsessing over? It's a dark one again hah. And it doesn't leave my head for_ weeks _now. For the sake of all those who enjoyed my writing (even though it was full of mistakes),_ _ **Alazia,**_ _who was as kind to say she'll read anything I write and my friend, who urges me to write such an appealing scenario, I must do this._

 _I can promise you'll be waiting a lot for updates, though. I am slow. I'm not sure I can offer anything drastically new or something significantly better than what already exists, but I feel like I can create something that I like. More of a mystery and more of a reflection on the Uchiha as a whole. I'll see when I can publish stuff. I only have a plan for now. Anyway, have a great weekend!_


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